The DIS Dad's Club V - Man's Room

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

So this morning I'm reaching a milestone...

Amen brother!

I was just about to post a small rant about flats and mechanics, but I think I’ll just reread your post instead. I’ve got to tell you, I'm just as glad to be here as well. I ain’t as prolific (or quick with the “Snappy” comeback) as some of y’all, but I prize being accepted as a part of this group.

 

[Emma's Dad]

Whew....glad it's not just me...

Yeah, I'm just glad I didn't let one of the **deleted** words fly (Which I have been known to do on occasion)

Actually... when I first started reading your post that's what I thought you were going to say! I'll never forget the day I was in my garage... had the car up on all four jacks trying to pull the transmission from the engine and it wouldn't budge. I was on hour 2 trying to separate the two... I thought I was all alone in the garage and let out a very loud and meaningful ****. I didn't realize at the time that my DW and my DD(3 at the time) were standing at the door (just opened the door). Fortunately my DW had the quick sense to cover up the situation by letting out an equally enthusiastic "PEANUT BUTTER!". See, in our house, when an expletive is heard we immediately say "peanut butter". Apparently DW was informed one day that the child will remember only the last thing that is said... so... she chose that code word.

However... I have recently noted that DD(7) doesn't even need prompting. Whenever she hears a familiar expletive, she instantly responds with her own "PEANUT BUTTER!"

 

[ClearScreen]

(I already know the answer to this, but have to ask anyway...)

Anyone here ever make a "slight mistake" when "instructing their kids?

This happened a few days ago:

DS (who's 2, almost 3) is just starting to get that daddy "catches bad guys"...well, he was pretending to "catch bad guys", and daddy--freshly home from hanging out with nothing but dudes for 5 months--was playing too. Well, he asked me..."Daddy, what do you say when you catch them?" (DW was watching all this go down)...

That's when, for some reason, my brain was disconnected from my mouth....and I just blurted out "I yell at them GET ON THE GROUND SCUMBAG" DW yelled MICHAEL!! as soon as I said it, and no sooner had she started to chastise me when DS started yelling "GET ON THE GROUND SCUMBAG" at the top of his lungs....

I spent the next 45 minutes trying to explain to him that this was NOT what I say....

Fast Forward to yesterday:

Well, he apparently blurted out his new favorite catch phrase at Day Care--while playing outside with his little friends....

DW made ME go in and explain it to the Director---who's husband (luckily) is a State Trooper and thought it was funny....--however, I still got "the speech"

I say it was DW's fault because she focused on it at the beginning

I had to take myself to time out..

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who's done this..

Definitely not the only one. A few years ago, at Christmas dinner at my house, the whole family is there. I drop a fork and my then 2 year old niece says "Oh ****." The entire family heard it and my brother(her father) was so embarrassed. He heard it from my Mom for the next several hours.

Great story, though.

ClearScreen

 

[ClearScreen]

Regarding "celebrations"


Yeah, I'd be so tempted to use that and start with a resevation for eight and keep calling to cut back on the number without any explanation for what made them go "missing"...

Nice!

 

[GoHerd1028]

(I already know the answer to this, but have to ask anyway...)

Anyone here ever make a "slight mistake" when "instructing their kids?

This happened a few days ago:

DS (who's 2, almost 3) is just starting to get that daddy "catches bad guys"...well, he was pretending to "catch bad guys", and daddy--freshly home from hanging out with nothing but dudes for 5 months--was playing too. Well, he asked me..."Daddy, what do you say when you catch them?" (DW was watching all this go down)...

That's when, for some reason, my brain was disconnected from my mouth....and I just blurted out "I yell at them GET ON THE GROUND SCUMBAG" DW yelled MICHAEL!! as soon as I said it, and no sooner had she started to chastise me when DS started yelling "GET ON THE GROUND SCUMBAG" at the top of his lungs....

I spent the next 45 minutes trying to explain to him that this was NOT what I say....

Fast Forward to yesterday:

Well, he apparently blurted out his new favorite catch phrase at Day Care--while playing outside with his little friends....

DW made ME go in and explain it to the Director---who's husband (luckily) is a State Trooper and thought it was funny....--however, I still got "the speech"

I say it was DW's fault because she focused on it at the beginning

I had to take myself to time out..

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who's done this..

Well, I have to join in and say no...you are not the only one!!!

When the kids get to the point that you have toraise your voice in a forceful manner to get them to hear or mind you... I have been guilty (now hanging head in shame) of saying..."I'm gonna beat your ***!" Well, a few months ago we were sitting in church and the kids were drawing on paper and then started to fight over what color of crayon they were going to use...all of a sudden during the sermon...you hear Ethan exclaim..."Lauren, I am gonna beat your *** if you dont give me the red crayon"....yes Shari wanted to beat my *** right there for even putting the phrase on the table in the first place. Snickers and a few gasps were heard immediatly following this scene. Needless to say, I did not get much out of the service that day and it was a quiet ride home!

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Actually... when I first started reading your post that's what I thought you were going to say! I'll never forget the day I was in my garage... had the car up on all four jacks trying to pull the transmission from the engine and it wouldn't budge. I was on hour 2 trying to separate the two... I thought I was all alone in the garage and let out a very loud and meaningful ****. I didn't realize at the time that my DW and my DD(3 at the time) were standing at the door (just opened the door). Fortunately my DW had the quick sense to cover up the situation by letting out an equally enthusiastic "PEANUT BUTTER!". See, in our house, when an expletive is heard we immediately say "peanut butter". Apparently DW was informed one day that the child will remember only the last thing that is said... so... she chose that code word.

However... I have recently noted that DD(7) doesn't even need prompting. Whenever she hears a familiar expletive, she instantly responds with her own "PEANUT BUTTER!"

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Have y’all noticed the Google Doodle this morning? The Flintstones are 50! HOLLY "PEANUT BUTTER"! Have they really been around that long? Oh, wait… I’ve been around just about the same length of time, so I guess they have.

 

[that's nice]

So this morning I'm reaching a milestone, and next Monday I'll be reaching a very different milestone. This past Monday I reached another very different milestone as well. It's just a week of milestones I guess. Life is so full of them. Some we celebrate. Some we mourn. Some we laugh about. Some we toast. Some we just shrug our shoulders and say, "whatever". Some challenge us more than we bargained for. Some stretch us and make us better. Some are fun! Some are not. Some bring about a bit of reflection...

I will never call you Chris again... sorry about that Christopher. (no olive branch smilie & it is not a rose!)

9000 posts.. Wow!

I think we have found a unique bunch of people here on these boards and I'm glad that you are a part of the DDC too!

This morning I mark 9,000 posts here on the DIS
Next week I also begin an entirely new decade of life. Another milestone. The year in which many people say life begins at, which some others say is the crest of the hill.

Happy 9000/40 to me (now to wonder how soon will be before I reach 10,000)...

LOL I thought you were turning 50!

 

[that's nice]

OK I have a MAN LAW that I need help with....

I would like to propose a man law that is the opposite for this:

The word “CRUD” is an accepted one word post for anyone around here that is just so slammed by life that the can’t even take a break long enough to even check in.


I just haven't found that word yet..


My vacuum cleaner was making a really loud noise so I took the thing apart. 1 hour and about 50 screws later, I had the thing working normal again. OK not that big of a deal... BUT when I was done getting the thing back together I had 0 screws left!!!!!!!! I was sure I'd end up with that dreaded extra screw that doesn't go anywhere!

So I ask you, fellow DDC members, to help me come up with a word that can describe this and many other situations where the opposite of CRUD is needed.

 

[DaveH]

Have y’all noticed the Google Doodle this morning? The Flintstones are 50! HOLLY "PEANUT BUTTER"! Have they really been around that long? Oh, wait… I’ve been around just about the same length of time, so I guess they have.

That means I was 6 when they started. Now I feel a little older.

 

[Rental01]

OK I have a MAN LAW that I need help with....

I would like to propose a man law that is the opposite for this:

The word “CRUD” is an accepted one word post for anyone around here that is just so slammed by life that the can’t even take a break long enough to even check in.


I just haven't found that word yet..


My vacuum cleaner was making a really loud noise so I took the thing apart. 1 hour and about 50 screws later, I had the thing working normal again. OK not that big of a deal... BUT when I was done getting the thing back together I had 0 screws left!!!!!!!! I was sure I'd end up with that dreaded extra screw that doesn't go anywhere!

So I ask you, fellow DDC members, to help me come up with a word that can describe this and many other situations where the opposite of CRUD is needed.

I prefer to use the term coined by famous father and nuclear engineer, Homer Jay Simpson: "WOOHOO!"

Maybe that's just me...

 

[that's nice]

I prefer to use the term coined by famous father and nuclear engineer, Homer Jay Simpson: "WOOHOO!"

Maybe that's just me...

When I say that I usually have a beer in hand...

But at 9am, I'm sure drinking beer would be frowned upon by my DW.

 

[stopher1]

LOL I thought you were turning 50!

Haha!

A couple of nights ago my DW turned to me and said, "you're not going to get all maudlin on me now just because you're turning 40 are you? I mean, just because you're about to go over the hill?" (Never mind that she turns 40 in February...)

I just looked at her dumbfounded and said "over the hill won't be until I'm 60 or even 70. I have plenty of hill left to climb thank you very much."

 

[tutter99]

(I already know the answer to this, but have to ask anyway...)

Anyone here ever make a "slight mistake" when "instructing their kids?

In G's defense, the kid very well may have been acting like a scumbag.

Mine wasn't really so much a word but an explanation. My in-laws live in Malta (little country just south of Sicily). One day DS wakes up and tells me he thinks we should go visit them. I explain that they are very far away and it costs a lot of money to go there. I told him we had gone to Disney twice that year so we would have to save up some money to go visit them because it costs too much to do both in the same year.

SET TIMER ON BOMB NOW

Two months later, we are sitting in the living room one night and DW says something about going to see her parents next summer. DS proceeds to tell her that I told him that it costs too much and if he wants to go see them we can't go to Disney anymore so he'd rather go to Disney.

 

[AJRitz]

When I say that I usually have a beer in hand...

But at 9am, I'm sure drinking beer would be frowned upon by my DW.

The existence of a 9 o'clock in the morning is what led God to create the Bloody Mary.

 

[trennr]

OK I have a MAN LAW that I need help with....

I would like to propose a man law that is the opposite for this:

The word “CRUD” is an accepted one word post for anyone around here that is just so slammed by life that the can’t even take a break long enough to even check in.


I just haven't found that word yet..


My vacuum cleaner was making a really loud noise so I took the thing apart. 1 hour and about 50 screws later, I had the thing working normal again. OK not that big of a deal... BUT when I was done getting the thing back together I had 0 screws left!!!!!!!! I was sure I'd end up with that dreaded extra screw that doesn't go anywhere!

So I ask you, fellow DDC members, to help me come up with a word that can describe this and many other situations where the opposite of CRUD is needed.

Excelsior

 

[that's nice]

The existence of a 9 o'clock in the morning is what led God to create the Bloody Mary.

I'd vomit if I drank that... Beer or a little Goose at that time would work for me.

Excelsior

excelsior |ikˈselsēər|
noun
used in the names of hotels, newspapers, and other products used to indicate superior quality : they stayed at the Excelsior.
• softwood shavings used for packing fragile goods or stuffing furniture.

Ummmmm.. sounds good. I think?

 

[Emma's Dad]

Wow... just discovered the TP crowd calculator had changed their method of forecasting crowd levels. The new way seems more logical to me. Wonder how accurate they have been

 

[trennr]

I'd vomit if I drank that... Beer or a little Goose at that time would work for me.





excelsior |ikˈselsēər|
noun
used in the names of hotels, newspapers, and other products used to indicate superior quality : they stayed at the Excelsior.
• softwood shavings used for packing fragile goods or stuffing furniture.

Ummmmm.. sounds good. I think?

Tim...did you never read a comic book or watch Spiderman and His Amazing Friends on Saturday Morning???

Actually it means "Even Higher" pronounced X-CELL-C-OR

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Well, I have to join in and say no...you are not the only one!!!

When the kids get to the point that you have toraise your voice in a forceful manner to get them to hear or mind you... I have been guilty (now hanging head in shame) of saying..."I'm gonna beat your ***!" Well, a few months ago we were sitting in church and the kids were drawing on paper and then started to fight over what color of crayon they were going to use...all of a sudden during the sermon...you hear Ethan exclaim..."Lauren, I am gonna beat your *** if you dont give me the red crayon"....yes Shari wanted to beat my *** right there for even putting the phrase on the table in the first place. Snickers and a few gasps were heard immediatly following this scene. Needless to say, I did not get much out of the service that day and it was a quiet ride home!

Like the other “kids say the darndest things” stories, this tickled me, but it also reminded me of something OT that y’all might be able to make use of. The link below leads to a copy of the ring tone that I use for one particular person (specifically my SIL) who has a couple of anger management issues. She does not suffer fools (or perceived fools) gladly and is generally always ready to “whip somebody’s ***”, which prompted my use of the little sound bite.

http://www.mediafire.com/?s77ss195cgh0psd

(BTW: when I told her about this, she busted out laughing and calls me regularly just to hear it, so I am sharing this with my tongue directly in my cheek).