I will cancel my trip tomorrow

[lizzyb]

If the 11 year old didn't know about the trip, it isn't a punishment.

Thats what I was thinking.

Sorry that you have to cancel your trip and are having issues with your DD.

 

[phorsenuf]

Thing is, we DONT know what the problem/issue is with her dd, and for all we know it's something that would not go away if they went to WDW and it would just be a wasted trip for all involved.

OP, have this thread closed please. I know you're lurking about, but I am having a hard time biting my tongue for you. LOL!!

There is no reason the thread needs to be closed.

 

[emt_pinky]

no way!!! I would so leave her butt at home and go anyway!...But then again that's just me ... I am so sad for you. May 2011 pass quickly.

 

[Lou Holtz]

I don't get the obsession with wanting threads closed.

 

[robinb]

If the 11 year old didn't know about the trip, it isn't a punishment.

I re-read the OP's posts and saw nothing about the 11-year old not knowing about the trip. Did I miss something? Was there something in her signature that is now changed?

 

[jimmysmom74]

Has anyone considered that if the girl's behavior is in question, maybe the OP thinks this could effect the trip and ruin it for everybody. I say if OP thinks they should cancel the trip then the punishment fits the crime!

Here's hoping things get better!pixie dust your way!!!!!!

 

[brunette8706]

I don't get the obsession with wanting threads closed.

*
Me either! What ever happened to Freedom of Speech as long as it is within the relm/rules of DIS. Sheesh!

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I re-read the OP's posts and saw nothing about the 11-year old not knowing about the trip. Did I miss something? Was there something in her signature that is now changed?

She said only the 14dd knew about the trip.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I don't get the obsession with wanting threads closed.

I think it's because people are so freaking sensitive and don't have the stones to own their opinions and posts. Not saying the OP of this thread, I mean in general. If you post something, people may disagree with you.. So what? I think barring threats, and true verbal assault, threads should not be closed. But, I'm not a moderator- I don't make the rules.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

I don't get the obsession with wanting threads closed.

And I don't get the obsession with people belittling and second guessing other peoples' parenting techniques.

She did NOT start this thread for advice on what she should do. She came on here for sympathy for her, because the trip is cancelled and she's bummed out.

Dissers never know when to shut the hell up. I'm posting now under my alias I started because I have a personal question thread up on the family board, but I am a LONG time Disser with over 10,000 posts, and this is nothing new to me, this thread going to the dumps. I just don't GET the constant need of (most) dissers to put people down who have different opinions/values/expectations from their own.

 

[Olivia's_wish]

I applaud you as well.

I'm shocked that so many here don't think an 11yo can do something "bad enough" to warrant them losing a PRIVILEGE such as Disney.

I can think of a few things!

 

[2disneyboys]

OP ~ I'm sorry you have to miss this trip! ~ But I just wanted to tell you how MUCH I admire your choice. It is very hard to make a choice that is not always fun or convienient for everyone involved. And regardless of what some posters put, the severatity of the "deed" is not really important. The important thing is that you feel you are making the best choice for your family. I do agree something special should happen with the 14year old but even if it wasn't grandma paying I don't know that I could still go on a family tirp (anywhere, WDW is not the ONLY vacation spot in the world!) without one of my kids. I'm part of a big family (1 of 8 kids) and DH is 1 of 4. Both of us recall times in our childhood when we were "punished' by losing a treat (including a few trips) of some sort because of our siblings,, and guess what... we both still LOVE our siblings. we are close (too close sometimes!) and dont "resent" what we lost due to our siblings behavior. If nothing else it proved to me (can only speak formyself here) that my parents would not leave me or abandon me if I made some bad choices.. our family is a team and sometimes you have to take one for the team. BTW.. don't let the grandma guilt messages get to you. I'm sure that Grandma knows what is going on and most likly supports your decision. I know my mom and DH's mom would! Hugs to you & I hope you are able to push through this and come out stronger on the other side! Good Luck!

 

[robinb]

She said only the 14dd knew about the trip.

Ah! I see now. I skipped over the word "only".

So ... this is NOT a punishment. How could it be? The 11-year old didn't even know what was secretly at stake by "relapsing". So much for everyone patting the OP on the back for "sticking to her guns" .

The OP's decision seems even stranger to me now.

 

[Hannathy]

I applaud you as well.

I'm shocked that so many here don't think an 11yo can do something "bad enough" to warrant them losing a PRIVILEGE such as Disney.

I can think of a few things!

Really what? what would be so bad that would have suddenly came up to cause this? Most kids don't go from being an angel or even a normal kid to doing something so bad the entire family's vacation has to be canceled.
The kid is 11.

 

[phorsenuf]

I truly wasn't expecting so many answers! And opinions...
Only DD14 knew about the trip and she is well aware of her sister's issues. So she knew it was a possibility that we cancelled if DD11 ''relapsed''. Ongoing issue for a while now and we have tried to put many things in place to help her...

Again, I wasn't expecting so many reactions to this, and yes I absolutely agree that it has consequences to all other members of my family. I still think that we need to be very clear as to what behaviors are accepted and what isn't, and I don't feel as though I am punishing my other kids by not going on this trip. I truly believe I am doing what's best for my family.

So did the 11 year old know or not?

 

[luvthemouse71]

I'm sure she'll find out somehow. And she's still doing the right thing by not taking a kid on vacation who may not deserve it. I'd let her know what she is missing, but I'm mean.

 

[LoriABil]

Wow what could an 11 yr old do to get a whole trip for the family canceled? and do the other kids know they were going and now aren't because of her? that's a good way to set up life long hard feelings and problems.

Or make her accountable to all of the family, which is good if her siblings are good examples!

 

[Bullseye]

Thing is, we DONT know what the problem/issue is with her dd, and for all we know it's something that would not go away if they went to WDW and it would just be a wasted trip for all involved.

OP, have this thread closed please. I know you're lurking about, but I am having a hard time biting my tongue for you. LOL!!

Agree, thats why I said it's hard to be subjective. "What may be a huge infraction to one parent may just be a minor "no tv for today" infraction to another." Sound familiar?? I was only making a suggestion, you know, food for thought.
Maybe things aren't THAT bad and a Disney vacation could actually smooth things out a little

And I don't get the obsession with people belittling and second guessing other peoples' parenting techniques.

She did NOT start this thread for advice on what she should do. She came on here for sympathy for her, because the trip is cancelled and she's bummed out.

Dissers never know when to shut the hell up. I'm posting now under my alias I started because I have a personal question thread up on the family board, but I am a LONG time Disser with over 10,000 posts, and this is nothing new to me, this thread going to the dumps. I just don't GET the constant need of (most) dissers to put people down who have different opinions/values/expectations from their own.

Watch your language, nobody cares if you have 10,000 points.

 

[drew64]

Dissers never know when to shut the hell up. I'm posting now under my alias I started because I have a personal question thread up on the family board, but I am a LONG time Disser with over 10,000 posts, and this is nothing new to me, this thread going to the dumps. I just don't GET the constant need of (most) dissers to put people down who have different opinions/values/expectations from their own.

Funny, the onlyl nasty posts I have seen which belittle others are those from posters wanting the thread closed and are criticizing the opinions of others.

Everyone can post an opinion on a public forum and I don't see anyone being rude to the OP, but posting on a public forum does invite the opinions of others.

You just posted your opinion, it is no more and no less valid than anyone elses.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

Ah! I see now. I skipped over the word "only".

So ... this is NOT a punishment. How could it be? The 11-year old didn't even know what was secretly at stake by "relapsing". So much for everyone patting the OP on the back for "sticking to her guns" .

The OP's decision seems even stranger to me now.

IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!!!

Some kids have issues, problems, go through tough times and taking a trip, whether they know about it ahead of time or not, is still a reward.

If my son (for example, not true) kicked his sister and really made her cry - as opposed to just annoyed her lol - after he'd been told over and over and over again all day long to keep his hands/feet/body to himself, and we had a surprise trip to the zoo planned the next day I sure as shoot would NOT be going to the zoo. Why should I?

Now a trip to the zoo is not on the same level as a trip to disney, and I'm sure whatever OP's dd is up to is worse than annoying/kicking her sister. But still. IT'S HER FAMILY WHO ARE WE TO SECOND GUESS AND BELITTLE??

Not all kids are special little snowflakes like yours. (not you specifically robinb, but everyone on this thread who is giving the OP heck about her choice)

And once again, the OP did not ask for opinions. She asked for comisseration about her having to cancel her trip. If opinions are requested, I'm all for anyone saying what they want to. I just don't "get" the need for dissers to be so judgemental all the time.

changed he-double hockey sticks- to heck, because I didn't realize he-double hockey sticks was a cuss especially since the censor didnt catch it... *RME*