I will cancel my trip tomorrow

[robinb]

There are many things I can think of that a child could do that would warrant NOT being rewarded with a vacation. I can't think of why professional help would be needed. Just good old fashioned parenting and discipline, which the OP is giving.

Really? Something that is bad enough to take away the whole family's vacation but not bad enough where the DD needs counseling to overcome her problems? OK then, name three.

 

[Hannathy]

Well, that's why I asked. As the mother of an 11-year old DD I know exactly how hormonally challenged they can be. Honestly, anything that I can think of which is truly awful enough to cancel a family trip needs more than just a punishment. It needs a professional intervention.

I agree.

And I don't care how mature the 14 yr old is she will always remember when her sister caused her to miss a trip to Disney with her Grandma. Guarantee it.

Punishment should fit the crime and the age and I have a hard time finding a crime that an 11 yr old could do that is serious enough to take an entire families vacation away and not need serious help. We aren't talking not going to 6 flags for a day but a whole vacation.

 

[MSLRAC]

Sorry you have to cancel but job well done on your parenting! I totally know it feels to have to cancel because I am canceling ours tomorrow too but for different reasons. It does sting a bit because 2012 seems so far away but I know that we'll have an even better trip then and I hope you guys do as well!

 

[phorsenuf]

I agree.

And I don't care how mature the 14 yr old is she will always remember when her sister caused her to miss a trip to Disney with her Grandma. Guarantee it.

Punishment should fit the crime and the age and I have a hard time finding a crime that an 11 yr old could do that is serious enough to take an entire families vacation away and not need serious help. We aren't talking not going to 6 flags for a day but a whole vacation.

And, God forbid, something happens to the Grandma before they have a chance to go again. I'm sure it would be even worse.

 

[DizzDoll]

Good for you. Strong parenting is so rare these days. I didn't read the entire thread and I know that there were negative comments, however, the children are yours, and you know how they behave. If drastic measures were warranted, then good for you for sticking to your guns, as it were. I don't know the causes for your cancelling your trip nor do I want to know, they're none of my business. When my son was younger, he had some serious ADHD issues that were monumental at times, and there were several occasions where I had to turn the car around and go home from wherever it was we were heading for the day due to his horrendous behavior. Yes, my daughter suffered his consequences too, but, on the flip side, they knew what type behavior was expected of them and they learned the hard way. Nuttin' wrong with that. So good for you.

 

[drew64]

OP, it is your decision and I respect that. Any of us will offer our opinions, but they are just that and only you can decide what is best for your family.

Just a couple of thoughts on some items posted about this, and agian this is just my opinion which does not make me right or the expert but:

I do not agree with the post saying the whole family needs to pull together and take the punishment and help the 11 yea rold. That is not DD 14's job to do.

As someone with 4 siblings and one who constantly pulled things - and still does even as an adult with their own children - that ruined events and outings for all of us, yes, your other children will remember and very likely resent DD 11 for this.

In some ways, in addition to "punishing" DD, you are also empowering her tremendously. This 11 year old now will realize that by her actions she can change decisons and plans for the entire family. You are giving her power and control, and possibly, next time there is a family event she does not want to go to, she will act up so it too can be canceled for everyone.

Personally, I would find a punishment that affects only her and not everyone.

Again, not a judgement, just my opinion and only you can decide what is best for your family.

 

[bwilcox]

Thank you for your support. I guess I set myself up when I it up the post, however i did not expect the turn of event! I feel pretty confident in my parenting skills, regardless of what others might say. Just wanted to share my sadness of not going... Just as many do when they cancel.

It is so easy to point the finger and tell other people how to parent their kids from the safety of our computer screens. The fact is, unless you "walk a mile in someone else's shoes," you don't know the entire situation and what the best way to handle it would be. You are speculating what you would do in a situation that you are not in, and without all the facts. We all do the best we can for our kids given the situations we are in, the experiences we have had, and the wisdom we have learned. OP, not being in your shoes, I don't know whether or not you are doing the right thing, but that wasn't your question anyway. You do have my sympathy. Even though it seems far away, 2012 will get here eventually!

 

[MSLRAC]

Really? Something that is bad enough to take away the whole family's vacation but not bad enough where the DD needs counseling to overcome her problems? OK then, name three.

The OP said that there has been an ongoing behavioral issue with DD11, so I absolutely think that a relapse in her behavior is more than enough justification to cancel the trip and not necessarily enough to warrant therapy. Why reward repeated bad behavior with a trip to Disney?

 

[Gastonsgirl]

.

 

[always]

OP, have this thread closed asap. People will continue to post judgmental things under the guise just offering their opinion.

I wish you and your family the best.

 

[Rekenna]

I'm sorry OP, it's tough being a parent and a grown-up.

 

[MSLRAC]

Hello there = )!.I respect your decison but I REALLY do think you should give your daughter a chance! WDW is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity and just because of one little misbehavior I don't think you should take that trip away from her! I can only imagine the pain it is for the whole family (or even your 11 year old daughter) to miss their family vacation...especially to WDW! It hurts my heart to think about it!

Afterall, don't you want to go? I think you should realy let it slide this time and let her and everyone enjoy their vacation = )! Don't you want for your daughter and evryone in your family to be happy = )? Think about it. Afterall, 2012 is an awfully long time to wait = (!

Happy trip planning (if you deicde to go!) :thumbsup:!

Wow, way to lay on the guilt. OP, I agree that you need to have this thread closed or this is just going to get worse. For what it's worth, I know canceling a trip is not an easy or quick decision (at least it was not for us) but I respect your decision. I hope that your DD gets her act together soon and that you can enjoy a Disney vacation soon!

 

[bwilcox]

I must have missed the part of the OP's post where she asked whether or not she was doing the right thing?

 

[Lbg206]

Afterall, don't you want to go? I think you should realy let it slide this time and let her and everyone enjoy their vacation = )! Don't you want for your daughter and evryone in your family to be happy = )? Think about it. Afterall, 2012 is an awfully long time to wait :thumbsup:!

I"m guessing you aren't a parent.....or at least if you are they aren't beyond babies/toddlers yet. Being a parent means your wants and selfish desires have to come second. Being a "good" parent means not letting things slide just because it makes you unhappy. Being a parent isn't about making your children happy all the time, it's about raising them to be kind, respectful human beings.

 

[drew64]

People will continue to post judgmental things under the guise just offering their opinion.

That is what a public forum is all about - opinions.

 

[phorsenuf]

OP, have this thread closed asap. People will continue to post judgmental things under the guise just offering their opinion.

I wish you and your family the best.

Good grief. Nobody is being judgmental. People are having a discussion. A discussion that involves people's opinions. That's what these boards are all about, discussions.

I haven't seen one person say anything mean or snarky.

 

[Suellen]

And, God forbid, something happens to the Grandma before they have a chance to go again. I'm sure it would be even worse.

Good grief. Nobody is being judgmental. People are having a discussion. A discussion that involves people's opinions. That's what these boards are all about, discussions.

I haven't seen one person say anything mean or snarky.

Really???? Gee I hope your mom doesn't DIE before she can take your kids to Disney again? That is quite mean ~IMHO!

 

[always]

Good grief. Nobody is being judgmental. People are having a discussion. A discussion that involves people's opinions. That's what these boards are all about, discussions.

I haven't seen one person say anything mean or snarky.

People don't have to say something "mean or snarky" to be judgmental. There certainly are posters in this thread judging the OP's decision. Some of the "discussions" have nothing to do with what type of behavior would warrant a canceled trip but trying to make the OP feel bad about her decision.

You, of course, are entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine.

And thank you for enlightening us as to what the purpose of a message board is.

 

[LilRonGal]

I'm sorry you have to miss going to WDW in 2011. Here's hoping things improve with your DD11.

 

[phorsenuf]

Really???? Gee I hope your mom doesn't DIE before she can take your kids to Disney again? That is quite mean ~IMHO!

That's not what I was saying. I'm saying that anything can happen at anytime. I was 43 when I had my heart attack. I'm now 46 and facing cancer.
My mother died when I was 10. I will never put off something important to do with my children and my family. Never.
It was obviously important to the grandmother to take he kids to Disney.