I agree that the world is different and 20 something's are going to have different ambitions and ways of doing things than I did/do, or my husband (we are from decidedly different generations with different attitudes-his in closer age proximity to the 20 something's than mine) but I think it's shocking for those of us w/20 something's to see this kind of attitude being encouraged when so many 20 something's are already horrendously saddled with student debt that exceeds what half the cost of our first homes totaled or even if they are lucky enough to have had parents bankroll their entire educations, they are living with an attitude of entitlement such that they auto default to mom and dad as their safety net (and in far too many cases-supplemental income and student loan payments) when the most routine non monthly expense comes up (car servicing/repairs/registration, medical/dental co-pays or bills...).
it's fine and dandy if someone is TOTALY self sufficient and chooses not to save any money-that's their choice as an independent adult, but when their financial stability is rooted in relying on someone else's earnings or savings it's insulting-AND if they do decide when they become aged 30 something's to buy a home and have kids they certainly shouldn't be relying on mommy and daddy to come up with the down payment and provide free childcare in the event that the bet they made on themselves in their 20's didn't pay off as richly as they had anticipated or the cost of being entirely self sufficient along with taking on the support of another human being exceeds their financial expectations.
some great personal examples have been given here so i'll share one on what can happen to the NEXT generation who are born to the now 20 something's when they become aged 30 something's-
a family member lived this lifestyle-despite the couple both having decent paying jobs, was never a saver. very much into instant gratification. had kids but still wasn't much into saving but wanted kids to have everything that all the other kids had (private school, cool electronics...) so often was reliant on mom and dad for 'help'. decided when kids were tweens to finally go finish up that degree (along w/spouse) that never got completed earlier in life-and to make it more marketable add on a masters all at a very pricey private university. luckily employer pays for a good chunk but still it's massive student debt and when it comes time to start making those loan payments the increase in pay isn't quite what was anticipated + the cost of those kids goes up as they age, and a home is acquired along the way which is more expensive to maintain than anticipated-so again it's relying on the bank of mom and dad to supplement.
kids grow up this way-but never aware of the extent to which the grandparents financially helped out/employer reimbursement for some schooling. as young adults they see the lifestyle they've grown up in, know roughly what the pay scale is for parent's jobs so they pick careers and enroll in the same very pricey university. mom and dad never saved so there's no financial help but 'why worry about student loans?' 'mom and dad are living the life and they paid their own way'. these kids end up 20 something's with almost 6 figure student loan debts but that doesn't deter them from wanting to be parents before they are too aged so they marry and start having kids figuring their salaries will catch up with their expenses.
guess what? it never happens. the careers they chose (similar to mom/dads) pay nowhere near what their actual cost of living is, let alone the added cost of student loan payments and raising kids. they cannot fathom why they are failing at being able to come anywhere near the lifestyle they were raised in (mom and dad never tell them about all the help grandma and grandpa provided-and that well went dry surprising mom and dad who anticipated their own existing debts could be paid off w/money to spare when grandma and grandpa's remaining assets were revealed upon death). in at least one case, despite a decent income-the family will struggle financially for decades.
so imho it's well and fine to live this lifestyle if it's done entirely independently-but to rely on one's parents to support it and misrepresent the realities of the true cost of living to your children is a horrendous disservice.
I agree partly with what you say, Barkley.
But I remember when I became an adult the first time - when my father passed away. I was married with one child in my 20ties.
Then I remember the second time - divorce, with two children. My still living at the time Mother helped me navigate that mess, mostly with financial help. I was in my 30ties.
My third and final time realizing I had to be an adult was when my Mom passed - very early 40ties.
I woke up and realized it was me and my kids.
In the past 25 years, I've built a career, established a solid retirement, and can help my 3 children, all of whom have made it through college and have jobs and are successful in their 20ties and 30ties now.
I had zilch in savings in my 20ties and 30ties. My kids are saving much more than I did. And they are still doing the things they want - studying abroad, travelling and enjoying being alive.
I travelled to Europe on a shoestring. Know the US like the back of my hand. Gone to Disney many times.
I've had and am having a great life.
And, I'm helpful to my kids as they have kids and buy homes.
I'm not sure why everyone has this doom and gloom outlook.
You must learn how to live, whether you do it with money or dreams.
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