Your opinion on teen motherhood

[::Snow_White::]

I know 7 teen moms.
4 are pregnant right now.
One is friends with some of my friends and is having her baby soon.

I don't give them bad looks, I don't say rude things about it. It was a mistake, and all of them have taken the responsibility, have kept the child, and they are all caring or will be caring for it. That takes something, and I respect them all. I don't look at them any differently, I just sometimes remember, "Hey, she has a baby." Some of them still have their same boyfriends, some don't. All of them have stayed in school. I do not care what others do in their lives, but I do not believe any teenager is ready to have a child. Luckily all of them have friends and some still have their family support.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

I really think schools teaching abstinence only is a huge part of the problem.

 

[GoofysOnlyGirl]

Ah whatever I'll bite.

Teens have sex because they're hormonal. My thoughts? If you do it- be safe, condoms, BC, whatever, and also be somewhat prepared, incase all of the above fail, to have a child.

I really think schools teaching abstinence only is a huge part of the problem.

I agree with both of these. Its going to happen. Do I think 14 year olds should be doing it? No. Will they? yes. I don't think they should be judged for their actions though. The fact is most teenagers are having sex, the ones that I know for the most part use protection (and most even more than one form of it). Teen motherhood sucks, but it is not going away any time soon.

Oh & the 16 & pregnant season, I hate the first girl on there. Why why why???? Its people like that who need to give up their babies for adoption to a family who is not able to conceive on their own.

 

[life of the party]

there have been three pregnancy scares in my grade just this year.

one girl is still pregnant, i don't know what she is going to do her home life is way too unstable to keep the baby.

a senior in my school has recently gotten an abortion.

i had to completely flip out on my friend to make her start using protection, even though she still refuses to go on BC (because it will make her gain weight ) even though she is VERY active.

obviously teaching abstinence only isn't helping anything, they need to teach safe sex in schools.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

there have been three pregnancy scares in my grade just this year.

one girl is still pregnant, i don't know what she is going to do her home life is way too unstable to keep the baby.

a senior in my school has recently gotten an abortion.

i had to completely flip out on my friend to make her start using protection, even though she still refuses to go on BC (because it will make her gain weight ) even though she is VERY active.

obviously teaching abstinence only isn't helping anything, they need to teach safe sex in schools.

AAAMEN!

I know the argument is "it will encourage our kids to have sex"

Guess what overly-sheltered-parents: THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX NO MATTER WHAT.

The least a school can do is provide education preventing teen pregnancy. (and offer free condoms) I mean my school teaches safe sex in health class and I go to a Catholic all girls school.

I know a ton of girls on BC who are very active.

 

[StitchfansJr]

AAAMEN!

I know the argument is "it will encourage our kids to have sex"

Guess what overly-sheltered-parents: THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX NO MATTER WHAT.

The least a school can do is provide education preventing teen pregnancy. (and offer free condoms) I mean my school teaches safe sex in health class and I go to a Catholic all girls school.

I know a ton of girls on BC who are very active.

I didn't get into the sex unit in health yet. My teacher gives us five minutes to chill out and every day he always says "Don't do drugs, drink alcohol, or have sex in the classroom. Thank youuuu" I find it ironic..how more than 25% of my classmates probably already have had sex or are going to soon.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

OK. I know I posted my opinion awhile ago, but circumstances have changed since then so I'd like to change it.

People shouldn't be having sex at such a young age. Abstinence only isn't helping. While I believe sex should be saved for marriage, I realize that not everyone thinks that way. And people will have sex regardless.

In my state, Virginia, it is illegal to have sex until you are married.

But, I have something to say to people who give rude looks to teenagers with children.

It isn't always because they made a mistake and had sex.

My friend got pregnant a few months ago and at first I thought it was because her boyfriend (15, a year older than us) had pressured her into it. I honestly didn't ask him. Then I found out that he raped her. And she got pregnant because of it.

I personally do not believe in abortion with the sole exception of being raped or it being incest. You made a mistake, you should have to deal with the consequences.

But rape was not a mistake she chose to make.

She and I will go out to the store or whatever and I cannot even tell you how many times people have glared at us. I want to shout at them so badly the truth, but it's not my place. And I'd probably get more looks.

But basically here's my point to all these people who are saying that they should glare at every single teenager with a baby. You don't know the whole story. You don't have a clue what happened so you have absolutely no place to judge them. You don't know the circumstances surrounding their situation. Nothing is ever as it seems on the outside. So until you're on the inside, keep your dirty looks to yourself.

 

[mebbradley]

Personally, I've been taught both abstinence and safe sex. I went to two different high schools. The really urban one (freshman year) taught abstinence and the rural one (graduated from this one) taught safe sex. I know of several girls within my high school (like 8 all who graduated/were graduating while pregnant) who have/are having babies within the last year.

Personally, I don't feel as if I could care for a child at this stage in my life. My senior year of high school, one of the girls I know that lives in my rural area (who was 26 at the time) went into the hospital with pneumonia. She had a 6-month old. Her sister was able to come during the weekdays and take care of the child but worked nights and weekends at the hospital. I baby-sat for the infant many times before this and the mother asked me if I would be willing to help out on the weekends and weeknights as there was really no one who could help on the weekends and weeknights. I helped out on the weekend and the weeknights for the week that she was in the hospital along with my mom and aunt.

Let me tell you, that was the roughest week of my life. I was going to school, then to her house to take care of the infant. I would bring the infant over to my own house around 8pm when she was asleep. She would sleep thru the night (thank heavens) and I was back awake around 6 to get up and get myself ready for school and then get her ready.I would drop her off at her house where her aunt was around 7:45 and then I'd go to school.

I had my mom and my aunt to help me take care of her, and even then, by the time the mom was out of the hospital I was worn out. I don't know how teen parents who stay in school and take care of their child do it, and I do give them immense credit. I certainly don't look down on teen moms.

Personally, because of this experience and my own belief's, I will practice Abstince until I get married. Several of my friends and I agreed to do this back as part of the True Love Waits commitment when we were freshman in High School, and that was almost 6 years ago.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

I don't believe in waiting until marriage because sex is such an important part of marriage and its important to be sexually compatible with your partner... but I do believe in making smart choices and not givin' it up to every guy.

And I'm shocked about Virginia (but I did look it up and they have some very odd laws concerning sex), I would think that would be so against free will and separating church and state.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

I don't believe in waiting until marriage because sex is such an important part of marriage and its important to be sexually compatible with your partner... but I do believe in making smart choices and not givin' it up to every guy.

And I'm shocked about Virginia (but I did look it up and they have some very odd laws concerning sex), I would think that would be so against free will and separating church and state.

They would get rid of it, but if they did, they'd have to get rid of so many other laws that are important that came from it. Like, the law against rape.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

They would get rid of it, but if they did, they'd have to get rid of so many other laws that are important that came from it. Like, the law against rape.

Well.. I doubt they'd have to get rid of that law..

But I understand. Sorta.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

Well.. I doubt they'd have to get rid of that law..

But I understand. Sorta.

They would technically have to. Because it came from that law, they'd have to get rid of it and it takes time to get a law passed. And I don't think they can put a removed law back into action. Double jeopardy or something like that.

 

[Sparx]

i also think that ignorance of birth control contributes to a lot of pregnancy.

on 16 and pregnant, one of the girls got pregnant because she and her boyfriend had a fight and she stopped taking birthcontrol, and then when they got back together and had sex, she was unprotected.

that is beyond ignorant and stupid. if taking the pill once a freaking day is too much for you to handle, how do you think you'll handle a baby? if it really is too much for you though, look at alternative bc methods, like depo provera.

 

[Mrs. Chamberlain]

i also think that ignorance of birth control contributes to a lot of pregnancy.

on 16 and pregnant, one of the girls got pregnant because she and her boyfriend had a fight and she stopped taking birthcontrol, and then when they got back together and had sex, she was unprotected.

that is beyond ignorant and stupid. if taking the pill once a freaking day is too much for you to handle, how do you think you'll handle a baby? if it really is too much for you though, look at alternative bc methods, like depo provera.

I totally agree on that. It's just stupid.


My thought: you shouldn't be having children unless YOU can provide for it, mentally AND financially. Not your parents. YOU.

 

[I Am What I Am]

OK. I know I posted my opinion awhile ago, but circumstances have changed since then so I'd like to change it.

People shouldn't be having sex at such a young age. Abstinence only isn't helping. While I believe sex should be saved for marriage, I realize that not everyone thinks that way. And people will have sex regardless.

In my state, Virginia, it is illegal to have sex until you are married.

But, I have something to say to people who give rude looks to teenagers with children.

It isn't always because they made a mistake and had sex.

My friend got pregnant a few months ago and at first I thought it was because her boyfriend (15, a year older than us) had pressured her into it. I honestly didn't ask him. Then I found out that he raped her. And she got pregnant because of it.

I personally do not believe in abortion with the sole exception of being raped or it being incest. You made a mistake, you should have to deal with the consequences.

But rape was not a mistake she chose to make.

She and I will go out to the store or whatever and I cannot even tell you how many times people have glared at us. I want to shout at them so badly the truth, but it's not my place. And I'd probably get more looks.

But basically here's my point to all these people who are saying that they should glare at every single teenager with a baby. You don't know the whole story. You don't have a clue what happened so you have absolutely no place to judge them. You don't know the circumstances surrounding their situation. Nothing is ever as it seems on the outside. So until you're on the inside, keep your dirty looks to yourself.

I agree with you.

I believe in waiting until marriage. I know that not everyone thinks that way and I'd be an idiot to assume that they did. But giving someone dirty looks is NOT helping in any way. Neither is abstinence only education. Teens are GOING to have sex whether parents like it or not. They should at least teach their children safe sex practices.

 

[life of the party]

I don't think that you should have to wait until marriage to have sex, but that's just my opinion and I am not trying to change anyone else's.

but i DO think you should be prepared. use protection. use COMMON SENSE.

 

[DramaQueen]

i havent looked thru this thread so i dont know if i replied/what i said before, but i'm sure my opinion hasn't changed because i've always been about SAFE SEX. sex before marriage is absolutely fine with me, i understand that teen are lusty and want to have sex and not teaching them about proper ways to protect themselves does way more harm than good.

i went to a high school that had mandatory sex ed in grade 9 which taught about protecting yourself, i went to an big high school in a huge suburb of toronto, about 2500 students or so, and during my four years not ONE girl was pregnant. so try to tell me that teaching about safe sex doesn't help. teaching abstinence only is stupid and archaic IMO.

 

[chisnpeke]

OK. I know I posted my opinion awhile ago, but circumstances have changed since then so I'd like to change it.

People shouldn't be having sex at such a young age. Abstinence only isn't helping. While I believe sex should be saved for marriage, I realize that not everyone thinks that way. And people will have sex regardless.

In my state, Virginia, it is illegal to have sex until you are married.

But, I have something to say to people who give rude looks to teenagers with children.

It isn't always because they made a mistake and had sex.

My friend got pregnant a few months ago and at first I thought it was because her boyfriend (15, a year older than us) had pressured her into it. I honestly didn't ask him. Then I found out that he raped her. And she got pregnant because of it.

I personally do not believe in abortion with the sole exception of being raped or it being incest. You made a mistake, you should have to deal with the consequences.

But rape was not a mistake she chose to make.

She and I will go out to the store or whatever and I cannot even tell you how many times people have glared at us. I want to shout at them so badly the truth, but it's not my place. And I'd probably get more looks.

But basically here's my point to all these people who are saying that they should glare at every single teenager with a baby. You don't know the whole story. You don't have a clue what happened so you have absolutely no place to judge them. You don't know the circumstances surrounding their situation. Nothing is ever as it seems on the outside. So until you're on the inside, keep your dirty looks to yourself.

I have a hard time believing that it is illegal to have sex until you are married. It's probably just illegal to have sex under a certain age, like I know in my state I believe it is 15 year olds are allowed to have sex.

Anyway, I think abstinence only education has a good message (don't have sex) but it needs to be incorporated with safe sex methods while saying while we don't condone having sex, IF you do this is what needs to be done.

The first time I had sex I was pressured into it by my then boyfriend. He said he'd go have sex with the girl he first had sex with if I didn't do it with him. I didn't want him to leave me so I did it. I regret it so much to this day and I resent my ex for it. I wish I would have kept it for my current boyfriend because I truly care about him and love him.

I had to take emergency contraception (Plan B) a couple of times, once because the condom broke and another time because my ex boyfriend insisted he wasn't going to use a condom and we had sex without one and I started to worry so I did it for my own peace of mind.

Sex is personal but people really need to know what the options are (BEFORE they have sex) so abortions will be reduced and pregnancies are prevented. My friend got pregnant right before graduation from high school when she was 17. She had the baby when she was 18 and she is doing OK. She lives with her boyfriend but they struggle. I wouldn't look down on teen mothers because you never know what the circumstances are. You can look down on them all you want but if you have never been in a situation where you felt pressure to do something you told yourself you would never do because you thought you were in "love" you can't judge. No one knows what the situation is behind a pregnancy and obviously most of them are less than ideal and are unwanted when they happen. I think it's much more commendable to have a baby and go through with what judging than just have an abortion like it never happened.

 

[AliceinHalloweentown]

http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/virginia

^ "If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations."

it was the first I'd heard of it too.
Any person, not being married, who voluntarily shall have
sexual intercourse with any other person, shall be guilty
of fornication, punishable as a Class 4 misdemeanor.
^ the more times I read it, the more I laugh.

 

[Sparx]

http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/virginia

^ "If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations."

it was the first I'd heard of it too.

"sodomy" is illegal in most states. these old laws just get lost in the books and forgotten about. i mean, how do you even regulate the legal sexual positions?