You know, I'm aggravated now...(vent)

[sunnyday123]

Minkydog. For what it's worth, I think you're amazing.

It's hard to someone who has always done everything to suddenly not be able to do pretty much anything. Probably to him, wearing the oxygen is giving in to being disabled and unable to be a "man".

My Dad was hospitalized in January-he had sepsis, pnuemonia, a stroke and they found severe lung disease. They didn't think he'd make it out of the ER. A week later as they were getting ready to take him off the breathing machine ( forget what it's called ) they told him he'd have to wear oxygen for the rest of his life. He refused. The Dr. said, "Then say goodbye to your family because you'll die when we unhook you. And it won't be comfortable. Or easy."

He agreed to wear the oxygen. He's resigned himself to knowing he can't do the things he could, but he would've missed his grandchildren too much.

Maybe if someone sat him down and spelled it out for him?

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm sorry for all that you're going through, Minky. I follow your posts and really admire how you handle everything that life has thrown at you. You're entitled to a good whine every now and then!

 

[ZuZugal]

I'm wondering if maybe I can get him to go talk to my therapist. I'm sure there is an element of depression and anxiety going on. He takes meds for both. I get so tired of him pushing himself to do laundry or yard work, and then he's too exhausted to do things like drive to the store to pick up meds or even eat dinner with the family. I don't even mind his 3 naps/day. But I want to scream when he comes up from the basement hauling a big load of clothes, complaining that he's breathless and light-headed. Yeah? And? Why are you even *in* the basement? And where is your oxygen?

I think seeing a therapist would be a great idea.

And I am praying for blessings to come your way! I am not dealing with what you are and there are certainly days that I feel the need to vent about something! Yes, he needs to put the oxygen on...and keep it on. Men do have there own way of doing things though...we all know that.

Sounds like he is on his last leg, maybe you should just be grateful he is alive.

For shame.

 

[minkydog]

It's hard to someone who has always done everything to suddenly not be able to do pretty much anything. Probably to him, wearing the oxygen is giving in to being disabled and unable to be a "man".

My Dad was hospitalized in January-he had sepsis, pnuemonia, a stroke and they found severe lung disease. They didn't think he'd make it out of the ER. A week later as they were getting ready to take him off the breathing machine ( forget what it's called ) they told him he'd have to wear oxygen for the rest of his life. He refused. The Dr. said, "Then say goodbye to your family because you'll die when we unhook you. And it won't be comfortable. Or easy."

He agreed to wear the oxygen. He's resigned himself to knowing he can't do the things he could, but he would've missed his grandchildren too much.

Maybe if someone sat him down and spelled it out for him?

You hit the nail on the head. DH has been completely unable to work for almost 4 years and that was a HUGE adjustment, one that is still ongoing.
I think this situation has just brought up (again) the fact that he is permanently disabled. When things are rocking along it's sorta easy to overlook it. I mean, he takes all his 40 pills and inhalers every day which he says in a big pain. But as long as he doesn't get sick he's able to maintain a certain level of activity. This setback has been like a smack-down. He's reminded of all his shortcomings and he feels very old. He's only 53.

Seven years ago DH was in the prime of life, working out, swimming every day, healthy as a horse. He did nothing to bring on this illness and he can do very little to make it better. Every year he loses a little ground. He has lost all of his beloved hobbies. He was a voice major in college--he has a beautiful voice--and he hasn't been able to sing in 7 years. He can't play outside or build things or garden, which was the love of his life. The *one* activity he can still do is go camping. We have a camper, with all the comforts of home. And this week we had to cancel our camping trip because he's too sick to leave home.

I'm not mad at him. I'm sad. Sad for all of us. I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow. I think I'm going to take him with me, for my sake if nothing else. He'll be open to it, I think.

 

[hereyago]

Minkydog- you have been through a lot lately, I' m sorry

My DF had lung cancer and had to have oxygen. My DF was a strong vibrant man before this happened. Always on the go,etc. He didnt like the oxygen. One day he didn't have it on, ended up falling in the kitchen.
He didn't break anything, but it scared him and he realized that his life wasn't going to be the way it was before.

I am the kind of person, I don't care who you are, I will help you, but if you don't help yourself then I don't hear any whining. If DD11 gets sick and won't take medicine, no whining and she now just takes it because there isn't going to be that type of thing with me.

My DM fell last year and broke her hip because she CHOSE to not listen what the doctor said. she was in rehab for months because she wouldn't do what they said unless I was there but I couldn't be there 24 7, I would go to work and then go see her and try to raise my DD.

It was exhausting. She came home and played the poor waif-which she had always done because people enabled that. But I read about people who break their hips, there is certain percentage that will die in the first year of complications or not doing what they are suppoed to do.

DM is almost at that year mark, but we had to have a come to Jesus moment and I told her she WILL get up and do things for herself-=with the walker or I will not help her. I don't care about feelings when it comes to someone's health. Which is it going to be? You help yourself or you whine and make things worse?