You can lead a horse to water....

[mamajoan]

but you can't make them drink....

I am a mother of 4... dd-24, ds-23, ds-17, dd-14

I just wanted to say something....

You can teach your children all the correct manners, rules,behaviors, attitudes. You can show them how to act by your example. However this does not mean that they will choose to follow your example. Sometimes you swear they do exactly opposite of what you have taught them to do. but you still love them... unconditionally.

It is hard to have people think that you did not bring your child up right, when this kid does/does not do the right thing....You know that you have taught your kid to say thank you, to be polite, kind, considerate etc... but sometimes they forget, screw up or ignore.

When all is said and done.. parenting is a difficult job that is not always appreciated by those parented. Lord knows we are tickled pink when we are honored by our children. We are gleeful when they "do the right thing". It often iseems to be a reflection on our parenting skills. We have to take the good with the bad...

Sometimes when I watch disturbing events on the News on TV.. I think to myself.. "You know his mama taught him better than that."

Free Will... wow... I wonder if God knew how powerful a concept it would be for all of us.

Thanks for listening...

 

[Serena]

You are absolutely right mamajoan. Thank you for the reminder.
I think I need to go edit another post I just made.

 

[mamajoan]

Thanks...

I was just thinking about all of this today... because two of my kids seem to make horrid choices.. (in mom's opinion) and sometimes I am embarrassed by their actions... I wonder where they ever got the idea to do what they do... cause dh and I have never told them it was appropriate to do such things. Then they turn around and "do the right thing" and I think.. Ok,,, they were listening! LOL....


Hope everybody is enjoying their Sunday with people they love.... even tho they may not like them all the time!

 

[DisMN]

Sadly, I've been occasionally judged very harshly on this very board by people who think I did a rotten job raising my child because of the choices SHE ended up making in her life.

I completely agree with you though. You can teach, lead and show them the way. The choice is theirs whether to follow that path or to go down another.


I'm finding however, that even if they stray from the path of the family, eventually they do come back home! LOL


Good thread and great thoughts for the day. Thanks!

 

[eeyore45]

I use this explaining my kids too - but I usually add "you can even sweeten that water with sugar" and they still wont drink!!

But in the end we still love them, and know in our hearts they are good kids - if only they can hold it together!!

 

[pw2pp]

Wow, that is SO true.
I have a son who was EXTREMELY shy, it is called Social Anxiety Syndrome. It was to the point that my heart was in PAIN watching him in social settings with other kids.
I realized that some of the pain that I was feeling were the memories of my own painful shyness that I experienced as a child and the realization that this was a characteristic that I passed on to him.
At the age of 12, he FINALLY found a best friend. He has had his friend for 2 years now (my son is now 14). His friend is extremely outgoing (will talk to anyone). My son has been taken places by his friend's parents and I always remind him to say "thank you". But you know, there may have been times that my son didn't say thank you and that he didn't utter a word to someone's parents, and that he may have been afraid and then by the time he got up the courage, it was too late. I just hope with all my heart that they realized that Brian is different and that they didn't rush to judgement about his character.
Brian is still shy and quiet, but it seems to be getting better slowly.

 

[pw2pp]

Sorry, I guess my above post is a little off-topic. I think my post is kind of a reply to 2 different threads: THIS thread as well as the "bad manners/not saying thank you" thread.
Sorry that I rambled.

 

[Disney Doll]

You know what though...most people can tellthe difference between a kid who is extremely shy (Social Anxiety Disorder) and one who is just plain rude or ungrateful. The thread that is referenced in this post seems to be more about the latter type child, as the poster didn't make reference to the fact that the child didn't speak all day etc. The poster on the other thread alsomade reference to the parents' self-centered ungrateful behavior, so chances are, we are dealing more with plain old rude than socially anxious.

I have no children, but have had much exposure to children through chaperoning youth group activities, class trips for my frined who is a teacher etc, and have encountered the shy vs. rude child. You can tell the difference, and my reaction, at least, to the shy child is far different than my reaction to the rude child.

 

[mamajoan]

I read the other thread today... about the child who did not thank the kind people who took him to the waterpark. To be perfectly honest, it just reminded me to post how I had been feeling about my own kids. I get over anxious about this stuff and it helps to vent to others.. sometimes..... LOL...

I have a 14 y/o who is giving me stress .. we are in the process of changing meds.. whooooo boy... and I have to admit that sometimes her behavior boggles my mind. and you know what... it boggles her mind too.

so that is where this thread started in my mind....

pwpp... honey.. you can ramble as long and as far as you wish.. No Worries!! I am glad your son has found a best friend. I am of the opinion that everybody needs a best friend.