yet more from your resident drama queen

[florida-again]

seriously, I feel like I'm living in a soap opera right now!
So today is my 21st
I was having a great time, until a big bunch of flowers were delivered to my door....

turned out to be from my father, who has not spoken to me for a year.
He married a VERY dominating woman who didn't like how similar I was to my mum, or that my dad helped my out financially in college. So one day the money and the contact stopped, and I haven't heard from him since! What's strange is that we had such a normal relationship before he met her.

So today, over a year later I get these flowers....
I don't know what to think. It's a nice gesture of course, but cowardly as he hasn't called me for a year (despite me trying to get in contact).
He didn't call to wish my happy birthday either, just the flowers and a note saying 'happy birthday love dad'.

I'm so unsure what to do now. I'm reluctant to call and say thank you because he has treated me very badly and I feel that this small gesture after a year is too little, too late....

SIGH! I just wanted a nice birthday chilling out with my friends!!!!

 

[epcotfan]

Its your birthday, you shouldn't have to call him. He should call you.

BTW Happy Birthday

 

[Toby'sFriend]

okkkkk -

sure I have to ask.

If today is your birthday, why were we all consoling you last week about your Mom not making your day special???????

I mean honestly, I have to think even from the title of this thread...you're joking around. right????

 

[inaminute]

After your post last week I'd think you'd be thrilled that SOMEONE in your family remembered your birthday. I'd be stunned if my father (who ran off when I was five, 45 years ago) remembered my birthday. Heck, he doesn't even acknowledge I'm alive.

Count your blessings.

Trust me--there are many worse tragedies than your "who remembered my birthday, and what did they buy me to prove they love me" saga.

I'm so unsure what to do now. I'm reluctant to call and say thank you because he has treated me very badly and I feel that this small gesture after a year is too little, too late....

He helped you out financially in college and remembered your birthday and you're unsure whether to call him to say "thank you?"

Be careful, it seems as if your selfish demanding sister might be rubbing off on you!

 

[arminnie]

You don't have to call him if that makes you too uncomfortable, but you do need to send him a very nice written thank you note (not just a card that says thank you on it). That is only common courtesy.

You could also tell him that you have missed contact with him in the note. It's never too late to make up with close relatives. (with the exception of truly abusive ones).

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Just wanted to say Happy Birthday!

 

[Serena]

He remembered your birthday and sent you flowers. The very least you can do is say thank you.

 

[CheshireVal]

I don't think getting flowers on your birthday is very soap opera-esque or dramatic.

Just be happy!

 

[Chicago526]

Maybe it's an olive branch?

He could have been too ashamed to call you, so he sent flowers to not only show he still loves you, but to find out if you're willing to forgive and forget, and maybe try again?

 

[florida-again]

Maybe it's an olive branch?

He could have been too ashamed to call you, so he sent flowers to not only show he still loves you, but to find out if you're willing to forgive and forget, and maybe try again?

Chicago, I think you are very wise.
In case anyone think's I'm being selfish and unforgiving, my dad has been VERY bad to me and I've been very GOOD too him!

He had a heart-attack recently and I rushed to his bedsite despite everything that has happened. I missed college lectures and cancelled plans with my friends. I visited all day, every day (and was the only person who was so dedicated to him while he was ill!) even though he had basically broken my heart. Yet I haven't heard from him since he came out of hospital (at which point I went back to college many miles from home) I tried to contact him, but he wouldn't answer the phone to me.

So I've been far from selfish. We had a great relationship and then he got married and disowned me...that's why this is so hard!

 

[nativetxn]

I'm sure that you were more hurt by the loss of contact with your father and not the fact that the money stopped.

He has reached out to you, now perhaps you should return the gesture. You don't have to call if you don't want to but I think a nice thank you note that mentions that you miss seeing him and talking with him would be perfect.

I had some issues with my own father but I have to tell you that the day he died was one of the saddest days of my life.

Reach out to him. I think it is the right thing to do.

Katholyn

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm so unsure what to do now. I'm reluctant to call and say thank you because he has treated me very badly and I feel that this small gesture after a year is too little, too late....

Well you do nothing.
And don't call him, since you know how his wife feels about you. You will ruin his gesture.
He was acknowledging your birthday in his way.
Be happy!

 

[Keli]

Yep, you owe a thank you. Call or send a card, either one is acceptable.

 

[wvjules]

I had some issues with my own father but I have to tell you that the day he died was one of the saddest days of my life.

Reach out to him. I think it is the right thing to do.

Katholyn

I absoutely agree with this post. Its not too late now but when he dies it will be. What I wouldn't give to have contact with my father (no matter how much or how little).

 

[mudnuri]

Chicago, I think you are very wise.
In case anyone think's I'm being selfish and unforgiving, my dad has been VERY bad to me and I've been very GOOD too him!

He had a heart-attack recently and I rushed to his bedsite despite everything that has happened. I missed college lectures and cancelled plans with my friends. I visited all day, every day (and was the only person who was so dedicated to him while he was ill!) even though he had basically broken my heart. Yet I haven't heard from him since he came out of hospital (at which point I went back to college many miles from home) I tried to contact him, but he wouldn't answer the phone to me.

So I've been far from selfish. We had a great relationship and then he got married and disowned me...that's why this is so hard!

Are you through playing "tit for tat"????

I spent 8 days driving 3 hours ONE way to be by my mothers side in the hospital after she fell....do I think she owes me something? Hell no. Did my brother go as often? Hell no. Do I think I'm better than him?

Get over it, he's your father, call him and say thank you, if he doesnt answer- well thats his issue- you could at least call.

Brandy

 

[wvjules]

My curiousity got the best of me so I had to look at previous posts of yours.

So let me get this straight, correct me if I'm wrong....you complained b/c your mother didn't get you anything for your birthday, now you're complaining that your father did? Does anyone do anything that makes you happy?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

My curiousity got the best of me so I had to look at previous posts of yours.

So let me get this straight, correct me if I'm wrong....you complained b/c your mother didn't get you anything for your birthday, now you're complaining that your father did? Does anyone do anything that makes you happy?

Boy do I agree. This chick is going to give herself an ulcer.

 

[disneymom3]

When the heck is your real birthday? I think I am rather confused.

Send your dad a thank you note and tell him you miss him and would love to talk.

 

[coolmom99]

My curiousity got the best of me so I had to look at previous posts of yours.

So let me get this straight, correct me if I'm wrong....you complained b/c your mother didn't get you anything for your birthday, now you're complaining that your father did? Does anyone do anything that makes you happy?

I doubt it. Honestly, I don't even believe these posts anymore. They are always contradictory to each other.

 

[florida-again]

I doubt it. Honestly, I don't even believe these posts anymore. They are always contradictory to each other.

What a wonderfully privilidged life you must have if you find it hard to believe that someone could have more than one problem/issue at one time, or god forbid, a disfunctional family.

I actually logged on today to post how great my birthday was and how happy I was after it.......