hehe ... you could be making lots of $$!!!
just kidding ... I'm taking a medication that is completely unrelated to the one you're on (its for anxiety) and unfortunately it is physiologically addictive like yours. I am now doing really well and am in the process of tapering off the medication. It's a pain in the butt because although I don't really need it much for my anxiety, my body gets pretty upset every time I take a smaller dose. I do experience withdrawal symptoms. The trick is to taper off very very slowly with the help of your doctor.
A lot of people freak out about the idea of taking an addictive medication, but unfortunately it cannot be helped. For the relief of severe pain or anxiety, the only meds that really work are addictive. Many people can take them for a very short period (like for example, my sis was in a bad car accident many years ago and was on a morphine pump for a few days -- a short enough period of time that addiction is not an issue). Some people, like those in your or my situation, need to take addictive meds for a longer period of time, long enough so that the body gets used to the med and gets upset if it is withdrawn.
The important thing to remember is that there is nothing wrong with addiction. It sounds so scary and terrible, but for a person who is "addicted" for a relatively short time period for a necessary reason (like severe pain), there is nothing wrong with it. Most of us associate with scary things we see on the news or on talk shows or with crack cocaine or other very dangerous recreational drugs. But medically, addiction is a natural process that happens when the body becomes used to some kinds of medication. It does not function well without the medication, and in fact, when the medication is taken away, some physical processes happen to the body that can be very uncomfortable. When I start tapering down my medication, my skin feels itchy and sensitive, and I feel nervous and have trouble sleeping.
The important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. This is a medication that is beneficial to you right now. There are not adequate alternatives that you can take to be relieved of pain. If you were to stop taking it, your pain would be severe enough to be considered more life-altering, destructive, and debilitating than the addiction could be.
The other important thing is to realize that when it is time to go off of the medication, you will be able to over time. It might take a while. Your doctor can help suggest a good schedule for tapering off. There may be some side effects. But you can handle these mild side effects if you do it slowly. At some point in time, you will be off the meds and pain-free. There will be no lasting effects from your time on the medication. You are not going to be dependent on the medication forever. But for now, it is the best thing to be doing.
