Wwyd?

[Kaler131]

I agree with the pps who said go to Universal. Also maybe Sea World and their waterpark Aquatica. Does he like gators? Take him to Gatorland!

 

[lisadr]

Are you sure everything is going okay at school? I would talk to the teacher to make sure that things are going well for him socially and academically. I think there is probably more to the this than meets the eye. Good luck.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Maybe he was looking forward to it then his friends got wind of him going with his mommy. Kids are funny, and we all know what an effect their peers have on them.

I would sit down and talk with him and try to see if there's more to the story.

 

[hsmamato2]

I would sit down and talk with him and try to see if there's more to the story.

I agree....at 9,he sounds more like a typical teen...... as OP said though- they need some special time, so 'more than meets the eye' might be what it's all about for this little guy....

 

[bellebud]

I would definitely cancel the disney trip. First, he might find it 'babyish', or just be worried his friends will find it babyish and make fun of him for that and for going w/ mommy. He clearly didn't change his mind on a whim, like a spoiled child or something. He was trying to please you... poor kid! I'd look at this as a sign that you should really work on this with him (being too much of a people pleaser). But, forcing the vacation is definitely NOT what I would do. It's also not like he signed up for a sport, then decided to just quit on a whim and is letting the team down.

I'd let him go to school for that week. I'd do other things to reconnect w/ him. If you can get away (it doesn't have to be far away) for a weekend (a friday and saturday night maybe), or even just 1 night, I'd do that a few times over the next few months. Maybe small spurts of 'togetherness' is even better than a week-long trip.

One of my ds's favorite things to do is go to the arcade at our local mall and playing the games w/ mom or dad. I'm not saying for you to do that, but I'm just pointing out something simple that I know my ds feels special about when we do it. My dd likes to shop and go out to eat at sit down restaurants. What does your ds like to do? Maybe a local attraction you've never tried (I know for us we usually ignore attractions that are close to home).

I also hate the attendance awards (just like I hate when they announce honor roll in front of the whole school) - the poor kids who just cannot get those grades, no matter how hard they try. Talk about knocking them down a notch... ok, that's a whole other thread...

I hope you figure this out... you sound like a wonderful mom and I feel bad for your ds about him being so upset. He sounds like a great kid, and I think it would almost be a punishment for him to make him go for the week, and I don't think he deserves it. Let us know what you decide to do.

 

[Captain_Hook]

well this is a tough one, but i think if he is choosing school over a vacation, then he should go to school. he should feel school is that important and i think he shouldnt be dismissed in that.
i would explain to him that once you cancel you cant reschedule.

im sorry i dont remember from your post, but is there a reason you cant go during school vacation?

I agree! I think school is more important.

Can you arrange a sitter (I don't know your family situation...) and you could go by yourself -- re-energize, relax.... I know that defeats the purpose of the trip, but at least you won't be out the money.

 

[jeepgirl30]

growing up my sis would throw major fits prior to any vacation, camp, etc. Anything that was time away from home. She cry and scream accusing my parents of hating her and wanting to get rid of her. But, every single time she came home raving about how much fun she had and would thank my mom over and over for "letting" her go! My poor mom was always torn up thinking she was forcing my sister.

At 9 he may be afraid his friends will tease him about baby things like Mickey Mouse. Maybe start focusing on one of the more "mature" parks like AK or Epcot. Is he interested in virtual reality? Dinosaurs? Find something like that and show him where in Disney they do research on that topic.

I would go. I bet once he is there he will be more than thrilled.

Good luck!

 

[Mkrop]

DS will be 11 on Sat and none of his friends or older sibs around here think that Disney is too babyish. I would not let him change his mind bc you gave him ample opportunity to tell you what he wanted to do. While at WDW, focus on the thrill rides, what about the water parks? WE went to Busch Gardens in Tampa and they had tons of coasters, maybe rent a car and rive down there?

DS also was concerned when he was in third grade and he had had perfect attendance in 1st, 2nd,and the only reason he did not get it in 3rd was bc of WDW. But we talked about how fortunate he was and that there are many kids out there who dont get to go anywhere let alone WDW.

Alos I think this is a great opportunity to find out if anything is wrong at school etc. DS opened up to us about a boy giving him a hard time at school while we were waiting in line for a ride at BG Willimasburg. He felt comfortable away from home and shcool to openly talk about it.

GL with whatever you decide.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

My ds (now 10) missed one day of 4th grade last fall to attend his great uncle's funeral. It was a friday, so it he did not have regular homework. It took us an entire week to make up what he missed, while still doing his daily homework. DS makes straight As, it is not that he could not understand the work, there was just such a volume...If he is in a challenging school, I would think long and hard before taking him out, especially since you know he will miss other days due to illness. That could be part of what he hasn't been able to communicate to you -- 4th grade is a big leap in expectations and homework from 3rd, and it could be he's afraid to miss too much.

Plus, if he doesn't want to go, I wouldn't make him. No one is going to enjoy that. Hopefully you can get some sort of a refund, or postpone your trip until a school vacation. You're not going to be able to reconnect if one of you really doesn't want to be there -- and for a child to turn down a trip like that, I would take it seriously that he has reasons that are viable to him.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Are you sure everything is going okay at school? I would talk to the teacher to make sure that things are going well for him socially and academically. I think there is probably more to the this than meets the eye. Good luck.

I'm pretty sure things are going OK at school. It's less than 2 weeks in. His school does multiage classses so he's a 4th grader in the same 3/4 class with the same teacher he was with last year. I got an email from his teacher (in response to my email about taking the trip) saying he was really stepping up and being a leader with the 3rd graders. He's not a stellar student, but definitely meeting all grade level expectations, and scores "proficient" on all measures.

The issue with him wanting to please, at the expense of expressing his own issues is part of who he is -- when he was 6 months old his daycare teacher told me she noticed that he never cried when the toddlers took his toys, just went on to something else. When he was in preschool I'd go pick him up from a playdate and the other mom would say "I'm so glad to find another child who is obsessed with dinosaurs", when in reality he wasn't in to dinosaurs but knew that playing with them would make the other child happy. Sometimes it's a great attribute -- he's consistently kind, gentle, follows directions because he wants to make people happy, and sometimes it breaks my heart because I KNOW that he's not taking care of himself the way he should.

I should say that when I say that we need to get away and reconnect, it's not that anything awful is happening in our relationship -- but I've been working long hours (10+ hours a day), and he's also at an age where he's off doing his own thing much more (sports practice, playing in his room, sleepovers with friends) and I just feel like we need some time together. Also, some of the ways we connected in the past aren't really working -- e.g. I used to spend hours reading to him, now he's moving into reading to himself, I used to take him to Six Flags (we have season passes) and ride the ride with him, now he wants to invite a friend and they leave me on the bench while the ride some ride that would make me motion sick.

Oh, and luckily we have some time to figure this out -- the penalty for changing now is the same as the penalty for changing 6 days before the trip, so I'm not going to actually cancel until the last minute. We're planning on driving so there's no plane tickets to cancel. One thing he and I talked about is either going and spending most of the days on day trips to the beach. Another is making it a shorter trip to a nicer place (e.g. trading those 7 nights at All stars for a couple of nights at the Beach Club), and saving the vacation days for maybe a short winter ski trip.