Wwyd?

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My 9 year old DS and I really need to get away and reconnect. I have a week coming up in October that I can take off work, so I asked him where he wanted to go. Typical for him, his response was "wherever you want to go", so I offered a bunch of suggestions and he picked Disney.

So, I found a great deal for ASSports, booked the room, made the ADR's and asked him a bunch of times if he was sure. He kept saying yes, but I was worried because 1) last time we went it seemed like he was outgrowing it -- he's a bit of a thrill seeker and I think the rides might be too "tame", and 2) I know he knows I love it there, and he's a big people pleaser. I'm not sure that he didn't pick WDW to get me to stop asking.

Anyway, last week was the date to pay and I asked him again and he said he wanted to spend some days at WDW and some days at the beach, so I paid but only for a one day ticket figuring we could add more or we could spend some days at the beach. I also looked into doing a split stay with Vero Beach but I read about the Portuguese Man of War and that kind of freaked me out. I also asked his teacher/sent in the letter to school to get him excused. I've tried talking about it a few more times, e.g. what does he want to wear to MNSSHP but he hasn't been interested in talking (which is typical for him, he's not a big talker).

Yesterday we were talking about stuff and he said "I want to get the prize for turning in my homework every single day this year!" I said good for him, we could make that a goal. Then he said "I really wanted the perfect attendance award, but I'm not getting that". I said "No, because of the Disney trip, but I think it's worth it to miss the award for Disney don't you?" and I turned to him and he was crying -- quietly, and trying to hide it, but definitely on the verge of tears. I asked what was the matter and he kept saying nothing, that his allergies were bothering him, so I stopped. Then later on as I was tucking him in he told me he didn't want to go to WDW, that he didn't want to miss school and he was worried that it would be to babyish.

So, what would you do? The reservation is paid for, and like I said we really need a break. I've thought about going, and then spending the time doing other things like Universal (although when I suggest that he seems unimpressed with the idea) -- I've thought about changing the dates, but frankly there are no non-school dates that we could realistically go. I've thought about trading up from 7 nights at the All Stars to like 2 nights at WL or someplace and making it a long weekend. Should we trade for Vero Beach (can we do that -- reservations said we could trade anywhere up in price) -- what's it like in October? Are the jellyfish a real concern?

This is not a demanding kid -- in fact the fact that he picked where he thought I'd want to go (ironically I'd much rather relax at the beach) and that he clearly had to work up the courage to tell me that he didn't want to go is very typical of him. Also, the idea of spending my vacation with a child who doesn't want to be there (and he won't really complain, but he'll be very quiet and I'll know he's not having any fun) does not appeal to me.

Suggestions?

 

[edk35]

okay I got as far as your third paragraph......


(Portuguese Man of War and that kind of freaked me out.)

 

[imthatgirl]

okay I got as far as your third paragraph......


(Portuguese Man of War and that kind of freaked me out.)

its a type of fish, i think they eat people, like paranahs

 

[mjkacmom]

He said he wanted to go, it's paid for, too bad. He's 9, not 2, old enough to understand that when you agree to something (especially a vacation), you follow through. My dear friend has only one ds (10 - best friends with my ds), and I'm always amazed at how their family plans change because he doesn't want to go. Having 5, they know they have no chance of changing our plans.

 

[tinkgirl2007]

I am not sure how far you live from Disney but if you are fairly close and him getting perfect attendance is so important to you then I would try and make a weekend out of it instead. Maybe go to Hollywood Studios as it has more thrill rides. If you do go to the beach depending on the fickle FL weather it could be too cold to get in the water. That being said I hope that both of you will enjoy yourself and take this chance to reconnect.

 

[Darcy03231]

Since its already paid for I would go. You gave him several opportunities to voice an opinion prior to paying for it and he didn't. Sometimes, whether your a child or not, you have to live with your choices.

Since you only bought a one day ticket for WDW I would investigate US/IOA. We were there last summer and my kids, who are huge thrill riders, loved it! The only thing I would check for your DS is the height requirements. My niece, who was with us, is 9 and she wasn't tall enough for Dueling Dragons, Hulk, or Dr. Doom, but she is on the petite side. We also had a really good time at both Busch Gardens and Seaworld. The older kids also enjoyed the Kennedy Space Center (we left the younger ones at the rental house with Nana who had already been there before). We did hit the beach both in Clearwater and Daytona and all of the kids had fun there too.

 

[edk35]

Okay now that I have calm down from the Portuguese Man of War.....I will reply. WHEW....we want to stay at Vero next summer for 3 nights but that is freaky.


Okay.....this is a hard one. I feel for you but it sounds like he really wants to stay in school. I would however tell him that if he changes his mind say in two weeks..that once you cancel it....there is no going back. Does he understand that?? Maybe you can go to Vero for the weekend. There is a nice pool there. ((((HUGS)))) This is a tough one. Can you go when he is out from school???

 

[imthatgirl]

well this is a tough one, but i think if he is choosing school over a vacation, then he should go to school. he should feel school is that important and i think he shouldnt be dismissed in that.
i would explain to him that once you cancel you cant reschedule.

im sorry i dont remember from your post, but is there a reason you cant go during school vacation?

 

[edk35]

its a type of fish, i think they eat people, like paranahs

Well I know it is a fish but what the heck.....is this something COMMON AT VERO??????

 

[Rylee]

Obviously, I don't know your son, but a couple of things came to mind while reading your post...

1) My own sons, 7 & 10, (and the girls, too, ages 17, 23, & 27) don't really get excited in the planning stages. I ask for their imput, but usually get very little out of them. Now and then, one may ask something like, "Can we eat at the Coral Reef" or, "Will we get to see Fantasmic" but they really don't act too excited or get involved. Once we are actually at WDW, they all have ideas... "I want to go to the Lego store, I want to ride ToT, I hope were eating at Chef Mickey's!" Perhaps your son will be more excited when you actually arrive.

2) When I start thinking of vacations ideas for the upcoming year, again, I ask for their imput. Last year I asked, "What do you guys want to do for vacation this year... would you like to go to the beach, camping, WDW?" Both boys, without hesitation shouted, "CAMPING!" (We went camping a few times and to WDW.) Maybe because a trip to Disney costs so much more, we think it will mean more to them, when really other things appeal to them just as much.

3) As the girls grew older, it became more and more important to them, that they not miss school. Not only did they miss out on too much classroom time, but they were afraid of what else they were missing. And, my son said they same thing about perfect attendance last year... (down in the dumps, tone of voice) "I would have had perfect attendance, except we went to Disney. As the girls got older, they'd come right out and say, "I don't want to go if I have to miss school."


I don't know how you can find out what he's really thinking, other than to keep talking to him. Perhaps, you could change your plans, and do a couple of local weekend trips, hooked up with Columbus day, or a staff development day, so he won't miss school.

 

[sk!mom]

I agree that it is not a good idea to change plans on the whim of a child. However, I have a very dedicated student in my house who hates missing school. To us, her dedication to her own education is an excellent quality and one we want to foster so we avoid making her miss school. The one or two times a year that she's out ill and the 1 or 2 excused days she's given for dance activities is enough time missed.

She would not choose to vacation during school and would be stressed about the work that she was missing as well as all the make up work she had to do upon her return. This as much as anything else is why we don't do it. I want her to be able to relax and enjoy vacation as much as the rest of us.

She missed school once for 2 days for a WDW trip. DH had a conference so the room was free and it happened to fall when DD had a 3 day weekend. We flew out right after school on Friday and returned on Wednesday.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree that it is not a good idea to change plans on the whim of a child. However, I have a very dedicated student in my house who hates missing school. To us, her dedication to her own education is an excellent quality and one we want to foster so we avoid making her miss school. The one or two times a year that she's out ill and the 1 or 2 excused days she's given for dance activities is enough time missed.

She would not choose to vacation during school and would be stressed about the work that she was missing as well as all the make up work she had to do upon her return. This as much as anything else is why we don't do it. I want her to be able to relax and enjoy vacation as much as the rest of us.

She missed school once for 2 days for a WDW trip. DH had a conference so the room was free and it happened to fall when DD had a 3 day weekend. We flew out right after school on Friday and returned on Wednesday.

My oldest dd is like that - right now she's in meltdown mode due to hours of homework. However, she would tell me right off the bat that she didn't want to go. BTW, I detest the perfect attendance award - it encourages children to attend school when they are sick.

 

[sk!mom]

Maybe because a trip to Disney costs so much more, we think it will mean more to them, when really other things appeal to them just as much.

Very good point! We think about the cost and so to us an expensive vacation means more but to most kids- cost is not a facter.

 

[wilma-bride]

Well I know it is a fish but what the heck.....is this something COMMON AT VERO??????

Actually it's not a fish, it's kind of like a jellfish. LOL at eating people

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portuguese_Man_o'_War

I think they are pretty common most places where the water is warm - I wouldn't worry overly about it. OP, sorry to hijack.

Personally, I think you should take your trip still. As a previou sposter said, your son was given the chance to change his mind. It's a bit late now it's all paid for. I would definitely look into going to Universal and Islands of Adventure though, if he's into the thrill rides.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope that it has the desired effect and that you manage to 'reconnect' with your son.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I should clarify that there's no way this kid is getting the perfect attendance award -- he's got pretty severe asthma and we won't make it through grass pollen season without a day off -- I can guarantee it. So, while I was blaming Disney (since that will likely be his first day off) I don't actually want him setting his sights on perfect attendance. Perfect homework is a reasonable goal because we can send the homework in with a friend when he's sick, but we can also probably do it in advance of Disney so we aren't jeopardizing that.

 

[dougsmom98]

Are you sure everything is going okay at school? I would talk to the teacher to make sure that things are going well for him socially and academically. I think there is probably more to the this than meets the eye. Good luck.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I agree with a lot of the other pps. Go. A lot of people get nervous about what they are missing during a trip. I know I do, and I'm an adult that can rationalize that it's worth missing out at home to have a different experience out of town once in a while.

Definitely try IOA and Universal. We've gone on vacations with extended family that do not have children, and they loved it there. Disney was not nearly as exciting for them. They have a lot of the more exciting rides and the movie stuff would probably really appeal to him.

I would just tell him that you understand how he feels and that you are proud of him for feeling that way, but you already booked and paid for the trip. It's a good lesson for him to remember to speak up when he's that unsure of something. He'll have so much fun while he's there. Try not to worry!

 

[SalandJeff]

Is there any way to get a refund or go for a long weekend? It doesn't sound to me as though he is changing his mind "on a whim". It seems as though he may have had reservations about going all along and was perhaps only agreeing to please you.

Of course, you know your child best. But forcing him to go because it's paid for doesn't sound like it would be much of a vacation for either of you. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Disney1976]

its a type of fish, i think they eat people, like paranahs

No, it's a jellyfish with an incredibly painful sting, far more painful then your "average" jellyfish. I believe there have been cases of people having severe allergic reactions to them and dying, but that's pretty rare.

 

[MoniqueU]

I would plan to add a day to Universal Islands of Adventure. It's a real fun park and would be something new for him.