WWYD:the truth about Santa?

[Mouse House Mama]

I have read through this thread and the one thing that keeps jumping out at me is that nobody heard this conversation take place. The OP said she was inside and the kids were outside. It is entirely possible that the OP's son did a bit more than spill the beans. Was he malicious about it? Did he keep insisting? I know that sounds silly but we have all seen that little darling somewhere in our life. At 6 I think a kid should be able to keep that info to themselves. My DS knew at 4 that the characters were people in costumes. We have told him that if he has a question or needs to talk about it he should whisper it to us when we are away from others because many children believe and we wouldn't want to upset them. We have reminded him and he gets it. He is now 5 and this has come up many times and he doesn't make any grand announcements- not even to his siblings. So I do think a 6 year old CAN keep their thoughts to themselves. At any rate- your DS did spill the beans and the Mom was upset. I would be too. You can believe in anything you want but I would never tell my kids to tell yours that your beliefs don't exist. We are Catholic. We don't tell our friends of different religions that their version of events is false. (according to our beliefs) How would you feel if the neighbors kid told your that your whole holiday is a fake? That you are making it all up? (just making an example) I can assure you that you would not be pleased. Teaching kids that everyone celebrates differently is one thing (that's what we do) but telling others that their celebrations are a lie or false are another. I can completely understand the Mom being upset. I also agree with RT2DZ that I would have to wonder what else your kid is going to feel the need to tell my child so I would limit contact.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

You’re right. I said most kids in the USA do believe in Santa. I did not say ALL. I did not say 99%. I said most. And that comes from actual data. 85% of people in the US polled say they are Christian. That means 15% are atheist, agnostic, Jewish, Muslim, Islamic, Buddhist, etc. Many who are atheist and agnostic do celebrate Christmas as a Yule Tide Celebration, which will include Santa, so when it comes to Santa, you need to add those back in.

You mentioned religion a few pages back too. What does Santa (in his present incarnation) have to do with Christianity? In my opinion nothing!

Some Christians are VERY anti-Santa so I am having a hard time with your premise. Too commercialized, too god-like (an all knowing, all seeing thing who dispenses gifts based on a moral system - and you have to take it on faith that he exists), too off message on what Christmas should be, etc.

 

[Ask"WhyNot?"]

You mentioned religion a few pages back too. What does Santa (in his present incarnation) have to do with Christianity? In my opinion nothing!

Some Christians are VERY anti-Santa so I am having a hard time with your premise. Too commercialized, too god-like (an all knowing, all seeing thing who dispenses gifts based on a moral system - and you have to take it on faith that he exists), too off message on what Christmas should be, etc.

<----Not RT2DZ, but she (he?) stated that they do not always come back to a thread....

Santa Claus is based on SAINT Nicholas. St. Nicholas showed his devotion to God in extraordinary kindness and generosity. He gave to others with no thought of himself.

More specifically: Bishop Nicholas of Smyrna (Izmir), in what is now Turkey, lived in the 4th century A.D. He was very rich, generous, and loving toward children. Often he gave joy to poor children by throwing gifts in through their windows. The Orthodox Church later raised St. Nicholas, miracle worker, to a position of great esteem. It was in his honor that Russia's oldest church, for example, was built. For its part, the Roman Catholic Church honored Nicholas as one who helped children and the poor. St. Nicholas became the patron saint of children and seafarers. In the Protestant areas of central and northern Germany, St. Nicholas later became known as der Weinachtsmann. In England he came to be called Father Christmas. St. Nicholas made his way to the United States with Dutch immigrants, and began to be referred to as Santa Claus.

St. Nicholas, lover of the poor and patron saint of children, is a model of how Christians are meant to live. A bishop, Nicholas put Jesus Christ at the center of his life, his ministry, his entire existence. Families, churches, and schools are embracing true St Nicholas traditions as one way to claim the true center of Christmas—the birth of Jesus.

 

[rt2dz]

chicagodisneyfan You mentioned religion a few pages back too. What does Santa (in his present incarnation) have to do with Christianity? In my opinion nothing!

<----Not RT2DZ, but she (he?) stated that they do not always come back to a thread....

Santa Claus is based on SAINT Nicholas. St. Nicholas showed his devotion to God in extraordinary kindness and generosity. He gave to others with no thought of himself.

More specifically: Bishop Nicholas of Smyrna (Izmir), in what is now Turkey, lived in the 4th century A.D. He was very rich, generous, and loving toward children. Often he gave joy to poor children by throwing gifts in through their windows. The Orthodox Church later raised St. Nicholas, miracle worker, to a position of great esteem. It was in his honor that Russia's oldest church, for example, was built. For its part, the Roman Catholic Church honored Nicholas as one who helped children and the poor. St. Nicholas became the patron saint of children and seafarers. In the Protestant areas of central and northern Germany, St. Nicholas later became known as der Weinachtsmann. In England he came to be called Father Christmas. St. Nicholas made his way to the United States with Dutch immigrants, and began to be referred to as Santa Claus.

St. Nicholas, lover of the poor and patron saint of children, is a model of how Christians are meant to live. A bishop, Nicholas put Jesus Christ at the center of his life, his ministry, his entire existence. Families, churches, and schools are embracing true St Nicholas traditions as one way to claim the true center of Christmas—the birth of Jesus.

Thank you Ask"WhyNot?". I'd just like to add that I also stated that when my family does Santa, he concentrate not on the fat man in the big red suit, made famous by the poem A Visit From St. Nick, now known as The Night Before Christmas, but on the orgins.

chicagodisneyfan, it's all about how you choose to celebrate and add (or not) traditions into your life. It isn't any different than how you celebrate (or not) a birthday. Or how you choose to use the car. Or vacation. Life is about choices and everything is what you decide to make of it. If it isn't about religion for you, it is because you have chosen to ignore that aspect. For us, we don't go to the malls during the Christmas Season. When we hang our stockings up, we read The Legend of the Christmas Stocking (look for it in Christian book stores). Before opening presents in the morning, we read The Christmas Story. We do a lot of baking during the Christmas season, and when we do our candy cane cookies, we talk about The Legend of the Candy Cane. None of this is done on one day, but spread out from Thanksgiving until Christmas day. But, then again, I've never responded to peer pressure, even as a kid. Most marketing is lost on me.

 

[Momvic5]

adoptionmomma4

I totally think the mother over-reacted. In her emotional upset, she threatened your friendship. Of all the things we try to teach our children at Christmas time, kindness to others is usually at the top of our lists. Wow- I don't even think Santa himself would approve of ending a friendship with a neighbor over the desire to keep gifts under the tree mysterious and magical.

Both children are young and an apology is all that one can do. Let's be honest, there is no longer a traditional Santa story that we can all agree on and remember. There are so many different spins on Santa these days, and it is getting harder to appease everyone. For instance, just in my family's circle of friends we know some who believe Santa is a spirit, others who believe Santa only brings 1 gift, another who believes Santa always brings 3 gifts, others who believe Santa only fills their stockings, and still another family who is from a different country and refers to Santa by a different name and celebrates on a different day. Who can keep up with all of that??!! Heaven forbid that the child who only receives 1 gift from Santa should talk to the child who receives 3 gifts or the child who only receives gifts small enough to fit in his stocking should talk to the child who receives a trampoline from Santa. Someone might get the feeling Santa's cheating them!! To me, those kinds of conversations would be more difficult to smooth over than the question of whether Santa is real or not. With all the differences, families need to be prepared for difficult situations and conversations.

My family and I think Santa is alot of fun, but we don't believe in him. I have asked my children to just smile and go along for the sake of showing kindness and respecting others, but if one of my children should speak up about what we do in our home, I would hope others would receive them in the same matter - with a smile and a love for the very real child.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Momvic5 - Very well said!

 

[MiniGirl]

<----Not RT2DZ, but she (he?) stated that they do not always come back to a thread....

Santa Claus is based on SAINT Nicholas. St. Nicholas showed his devotion to God in extraordinary kindness and generosity. He gave to others with no thought of himself.

More specifically: Bishop Nicholas of Smyrna (Izmir), in what is now Turkey, lived in the 4th century A.D. He was very rich, generous, and loving toward children. Often he gave joy to poor children by throwing gifts in through their windows. The Orthodox Church later raised St. Nicholas, miracle worker, to a position of great esteem. It was in his honor that Russia's oldest church, for example, was built. For its part, the Roman Catholic Church honored Nicholas as one who helped children and the poor. St. Nicholas became the patron saint of children and seafarers. In the Protestant areas of central and northern Germany, St. Nicholas later became known as der Weinachtsmann. In England he came to be called Father Christmas. St. Nicholas made his way to the United States with Dutch immigrants, and began to be referred to as Santa Claus.

St. Nicholas, lover of the poor and patron saint of children, is a model of how Christians are meant to live. A bishop, Nicholas put Jesus Christ at the center of his life, his ministry, his entire existence. Families, churches, and schools are embracing true St Nicholas traditions as one way to claim the true center of Christmas—the birth of Jesus.

A little more info on St. Nicholas -- the man. His parents died when he was quite young, but he never showed anger towards God for taking them. In all he did, he tried to honor Christ. He took giving to the poor seriously, and that was his main focus and to whom he gave the bulk of his wealth. He also gave secretly -- often throwing small bags of gold threw a window at night. When asked late in life why he did this, he quoted scripture about how it is better to give in secret. It is also true that he loved children. His gifts to them, however, were what we would refer to today as "trinkets" -- certainly not the display of gifts and excess that we see today. However, I know of only 1 family that gives the bulk of their Christmas budget to those in need and only small trinkets to their own children. The vast majority of families practice the opposite -- spending the bulk of their Christmas money on the children (and others they know) and buying one or 2 toys for those in need. Eventhough we do not celebrate Santa in our home, I would love to see more families celebrate Christmas in the true spirit of St. Nicholas.

Also, the vast majority of Christians who celebrate Christmas without Santa are evangelical Christians or Christians of a denomination (like the 7th Day Adventist) that doesn't celebrate Christmas at all. In His Word, God does not tell us to remember or celebrate His Son's birth, but we are commanded to remember and celebrate His death. Remember Christmas has it's roots in a pagan holiday. The Saturnalia festival was in Rome, but it was similar to the festivals going on everywhere that celebrated the winter solstice. During the early church, officials decided to start celebrating Jesus' birth; and Pope Julius I picked Dec 25 to coincide with the celebrations already taking place. It was a way to ensure that this new holiday would, indeed, be celebrated and embraced, and as they say, the rest is history.

Even so, as a family, we choose to not celebrate Santa and also believe that the Santa of today has very little in common with his namesake St. Nicholas, Bishop of Smyrna. However, our girls are keepers of the secret and we respect others right to celebrate as they choose. We tell our kids not to spill the beans, but I do wish people would likewise respect our decision not to celebrate Christmas this way.

 

[Aliceacc]

You mentioned religion a few pages back too. What does Santa (in his present incarnation) have to do with Christianity? In my opinion nothing!

Why does it matter? Whether or not Santa has anything to do with how your family (or mine for that matter) celebrates Christmas, the fact remains that it IS part of how the neighbor celebrates Christmas.

I still maintain that it was a sllip-- something that it would have been nice to be able to avoid, but not the end of the world.

But I think the actions of the people involved should be the focus of our discussion, not whether or not the neighbor was justified in having her kids believe in Santa. One of the most wonderful things about this country is the freedom we have-- each to his own beliefs. So criticising the woman for doing Santa doesn't seem very much in the spirit of the season (religious or otherwise.)

Criticising her for going WAY overboard seems to be more to the point.

 

[dunnhorn]

I remember when my friend down the street "spoiled" the secret for me. I don't know how old I was at the time (5 maybe?) and I went to my mom and said "Ginny said there is no such thing as Santa.... is that true?" My mom looked at me and was like "there most certainly is a Santa. I don't want you listening to her." Anyway, my mom ignored this and still kept giving me presents from "Santa" and I started noticing that the writing on the package was the same, and they were wrapped in the same paper. I would keep asking her, and she would say the same thing with a smile. Even as I aged, I continued to get presents from "Santa" - and every time I asked she would smile and tell me there was a Santa. My Dad even got some presents from "Santa." Sometimes I would get annoyed - but all along I thought it was sweet and just a tad big magical that she kept it going all of those years. I always wondered - was there really a santa??? - because presents always arrived and our stockings were always filled to the brim on Christmas morning. When I was older, Mom would say "go on to bed so Santa can come..." She was careful to always make sure that I didn't see the "magic" happen - even in college. I will always appreciate that.

Now I have two young kids who believe in Santa. I am torn a little about the idea of 'lying' to them - so we don't go all out on the Santa story. We don't leave out cookies, and I don't have my husband go outside and dancing on the roof with sleigh bells. My son has heard that there is no Santa, and that Santa doesn't go to everyone's houses... but you know, he still believes.

If your friend wants to keep the magic alive in her house, it is her right to do it. I'm sorry your son let the cat out of the bag - but really, she doesn't have to let it ruin the Christmas "Santa" experience. The joy is really preparing for Santa's arrival - and it is up to HER whether or not Santa comes. I would print out this post and show it to her - that my mom kept Santa coming in our house for me for so many years (I am now 39) and I will do it for my kids regardless of what they hear from their friends. The truth is that there *IS* a Santa... and Santa is ME. I buy all of the gifts, I wrap all of the gifts, and I will do everything to "keep the magic going." I downplay the fat man in the red suit - and if I am specifically pressed, I tell them that Santa has to be a lot of places at once and he has a ton of helpers, me included, and the key thing about Santa is that he is loving and kind and brings nice things to good children. They know I talk to Santa and I help Santa. My son has asked me "Mommy, why does Santa hide toys in your closet?" I was like "Santa needs a lot of help..." That sort of thing. I hope my kids always believe in Santa... because Lord knows I do.

As far as I am concerned, in our house there will always be a Santa. Santa also brings some goodies to my hubby as well.

Hope this helps....

Leslie Ann

 

[trivial]

Now I have two young kids who believe in Santa. I am torn a little about the idea of 'lying' to them - so we don't go all out on the Santa story. We don't leave out cookies, and I don't have my husband go outside and dancing on the roof with sleigh bells.

You guys don't do that? Man, your kids are missing out! (I laughed out loud when I read that ). I dunno, I don't see it as lying... well I guess it is lying, so I guess I don't see lying as necessarily bad (we all tell white lies, and thank God for that). For me... it's a little bit of magic to believe in Santa, and when I was a kid and really believed it, it was just so darn cool. I'll gladly tell the lie for my kids to be able to experience that. Does anyone resent their parents for lying to them about it? I'm thankful for it.

 

[snugglepeas]

I really dont know what to say, We wont be doing santa in our house, my husband does not want to lie to our children, we are Christians, We were both brought up in homes, by parents that told us that santa was real now that I have a daughter my parents are finding it hard that we will not be playing the santa thing up. We will be giving our daughter presents but we choose to focus on the reason we join in the season and that is because we choose to think of Christmas as Jesus birthday(weather or not it's his true birthday) so to make Christmas a little more special and not bring santa into it we will be making a cake each christmas eve and then singing happy birthday to Jesus on christmas day, now my daughter is only 18 months old right now and over the past month or so more that a dozen people have in my opinion step over the line(cashiers in stores and such) and asked my daughter what santa is bringing her for christmas and when I tell them we dont do santa they look at me as if im an evil person, because I choose not to LIE to my child. we have many friends with older children that dont believe in santa and not one has "spoiled it for another child" in our house we just going to choose not to make santa an issue. if you dont make it important to you it wont be important to your children.

 

[hygienejean]

You guys don't do that? Man, your kids are missing out! (I laughed out loud when I read that ). I dunno, I don't see it as lying... well I guess it is lying, so I guess I don't see lying as necessarily bad (we all tell white lies, and thank God for that). For me... it's a little bit of magic to believe in Santa, and when I was a kid and really believed it, it was just so darn cool. I'll gladly tell the lie for my kids to be able to experience that. Does anyone resent their parents for lying to them about it? I'm thankful for it.

Well said! I couldn't agree more...

 

[adoptionmomma4]

I’m very sorry you were offended by this post. I do not know you. All I meant to say is while I certainly would have reacted and handled it very differently than the other mother; I understood where she was coming from. I thought by stating why I felt that way, it might give you an understanding to why the other mother felt that way.

At the time, you had not stated that the other mother knew that your kids did not believe in Santa. To me, that changes things quite a bit. What I was thinking, is that the other mother probably did not have the slightest thought that your children might say something and was thrown off balance. And again, it was “filter questioning”, and not “sexualized inappropriately.” Also, I would not necessarily consider “Santa” and “adult topic”, but it is one of many topics that require some thinking before speaking—on either side of the issue. And it would (given the information I had at the time) given me pause for a while—but like I said, I would have gotten over it. Most kids do find out about Santa from other kids.

I am really no longer offended It is difficutly to tell how a person means something when you can hear not the tone. I can see your point to a degree. I do not think that the fact that my kids know the truth about Santa means they are wise beyond their years. I feel if my neighbor has and questions about what my kids “know” she can ask me anytime and I would be glad to tell her how we have handles any situation that has come up.

How ironic.

It seems like you are insulating your son with homeschooling so you can "protect him" yet he did exactly the opposite for others.

I am not home schooling my son to “protect” him from learning things from other children. (it is however a nice perk) We have many reasons for home schooling the first reason is that we have every right to do so. Also, my children have been adopted from foster care. We felt like they had very specific academic needs that were unable to met in a public school that is over crowded, understaffed and has funding issues.

I think it is a shame that so many parents perpetuate growing up so early. Really, should our 10yo olds be worshipping the Lindsey Lohan's and Brittany Spears of the world? Look at Jamie Lynn Spears for that answer. Cartoons shouldn't be ditched for High School Musical in Kindergarten.

What I also don't get is why it is so important to tell your kids Santa isn't real. Especially if your child is only 3 and the reason is supposedly because of their fear? They may get over their fear as they age (as most kids do--I don't have a single picture of a child, niece or nephew with Santa at 2 since they were all terrified of him!). I don't have a problem with not celebrating Santa; everyone makes their own choices, but why not have a little more wiggle room. Or at least make it so your kid isn't the one who tells everyone else, especially if you do think your kid can't be trusted to filter 100%? Why not just say "We don't celebrate with Santa." Much in the same way you do/do not celebrate with friends and family. If your kid pushes, just say it's a tradition you choose not to participate in. It gives kids more time/ability to decide for themselves and ensures not ruining the fantasy for anyone else. Oh well, hindsight.

I don’t think I am perpetuating my children to grow up early because we simply do not believe in Santa. The do not “worship” and of the movies of child stars you listed either. We don’t believe in Santa- I am not pushing them into grown up activities because we believe in the real reason for Christmas and not the man in the red suit. I am also not implying that you can not believe in Santa and the true meaning of Christmas. I think it is a choice parents need to make for their individual family.

Here is the reason we do not believe in Santa… My kids again were all adopted as a sibling group from foster care. My older 2 children were 4 and 6 when we had our first Christmas together (after having them home for 9 months). Since this was our first Christmas with our children I went crazy with the gifts. I mean really crazy, we had to move furniture to get it all in the family room. After everyone left on Christmas night my daughter asked why Santa brought so many gifts to them at our house, but they only got a few things when she lived with her bio parents. I tried to make things up, but she kept pushing the issue and asking more questions. So I finally just told her the truth. We told the boys because Leanne knew and we didn’t want to confuse them. We felt like this was the right decision for our family.

As for the situation with my neighbor, things are fine. I am sure she is still upset but we are friendly again. I think with time everything will work out. I have again reminded my son that this a secret and we should keep it to ourselves.

 

[RachaelRol]

We go all out for Santa. Reindeer food, (glitter confetti and Cheerios) cookies and milk, letters to and from Santa. (DS6 also understands that Jesus is the reason for the holiday. FTR) DS and I sprinkle the reindeer food on the driveay on Christmas Eve, he writes his thank you note and leaves out cookies.

DH and I sweep up the driveway, eat the cookies, and write a note back to DS. We alos fill the stockings and get his gifts from the garage. For us, Santa is about magic, the same magic we see love and feel from Disney.

DH and I decided when DS asks about these things we will tell him the truth. Early this month while watching a Travel channel special on Disney, DS looked and DH and me and said,

" Mama, those characters are really just people in costumes, right?" DH and I looked at eachother, giggled and said, "Yes, sweetie they are people in costumes." He looked back at us and said, "Awe, man, but it's still cool!"

That was it. No long term damage, still loves Disney. I'm sure our Santa conversation will go very similarly.

Rachael

 

[DawnM]

That is all very sane and reasonable!

I grew up in Africa. Hard to understand why Santa would visit my house and not really any of the African families around us other than those who had a little money!

No way to get around that one.

Dawn

Here is the reason we do not believe in Santa… My kids again were all adopted as a sibling group from foster care. My older 2 children were 4 and 6 when we had our first Christmas together (after having them home for 9 months). Since this was our first Christmas with our children I went crazy with the gifts. I mean really crazy, we had to move furniture to get it all in the family room. After everyone left on Christmas night my daughter asked why Santa brought so many gifts to them at our house, but they only got a few things when she lived with her bio parents. I tried to make things up, but she kept pushing the issue and asking more questions. So I finally just told her the truth. We told the boys because Leanne knew and we didn’t want to confuse them. We felt like this was the right decision for our family.

As for the situation with my neighbor, things are fine. I am sure she is still upset but we are friendly again. I think with time everything will work out. I have again reminded my son that this a secret and we should keep it to ourselves.

 

[bellebud]

I grew up in Africa. Hard to understand why Santa would visit my house and not really any of the African families around us other than those who had a little money!

No way to get around that one.

Dawn

My kids go to catholic school, and throughout the season, giving toys for needy children is really pushed. I always pick 2 needy families and have my kids help me go shopping for them, buying clothes and toys, and helping me wrap everything and deliver them to the church. My kids (and some others in the school) start asking parents in K or 1st grade "why doesn't santa bring gifts to needy children too?" This was a tricky one! I told my kids santa really only gives one gift per child, and mom and dad actually have to pay santa for the rest, so those needy kids would only get one gift if we didn't help them out. That's also why kids can't get $1000 gifts and as many as they want.

DD8 found out the truth almost 2 years ago because her friend kept telling her the princesses at disney weren't real, and for her to look closely under their wigs for their real hair during our next trip. So dd questioned me a lot about it, then about EVERYTHING else (all the characters, santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy)... I was very disappointed her 'magic' ended SO early. I tried the "what do you think?" and "I believe in them" stuff, but she was wanting real answers, and at that point it was right to tell her the truth. I was very upset at her friend at the time, but what can you do? The truth comes out sooner or later for everyone, and kids are kids.

We celebrate Santa and he visits us in person every Christmas Eve, as he has for my whole childhood (I never caught on it was dad, and even my Aunt one year - when I see those old videos, I crack up at how I didn't notice he was a woman!) Anyway, my brother dresses up and visits for 5 minutes (he says the costume is unbelievably HOT, so 5 minutes is all we get.) And this year, ds6 says to me "mom, that wasn't santa, that was uncle danny! I saw his fingers didn't fill out the gloves (a few of my brothers fingers were half cut off when he was a toddler), and I saw his mustache"... so I just said "really??? are you sure it wasn't santa?", then ds says "yes mom, it definitely wasn't the REAL santa, it was uncle danny"... so ds still believes in santa, just that the visit is dress up for fun for the little ones. And my brother told me later he noticed ds looking at him suspiciously as soon as he walked in the house, and he was checking out his shoes!

And dd knowing the adult secret has made her feel very 'big' and she LOVED helping me put the gifts out and filling the stockings. It was as fun for her as christmas mornings when she believed.

To the OP - the other mom was over the line. She had many options besides agreeing w/ what your ds said. And if she was in a situation like mine where her child demands concrete answers, her child is then nearing the end anyway and there's nothing she can do. I said i was upset at my dd's friend, but I would never do anything about my being upset. It was just my feelings at the time, totally normal parental feelings about your child growing up a bit. Glad it's blown over a bit for you!

 

[teresajoy]

Since when is there a Catholic encyclopedia??? Some people are going a little off base here. Did you mean Catholic version of the Bible?
.

Long time at least 1907 http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/

As for the situation with my neighbor, things are fine. I am sure she is still upset but we are friendly again. I think with time everything will work out. I have again reminded my son that this a secret and we should keep it to ourselves.

Lacy, your kids could come over and play with my kids ANY time!!!!

 

[brooklynheights]

My DN when he was 3 saw homealone with me when santa came on the screen he told me you know santa is not real its just a man in a costume when he was 5 he told his cousins who were 3 days younger then him there was no santa that santa was their mommy and daddy it was the begining of dec he told them if we look in the closets I will find your toys saying from santa sure enough he found them the cousins thought santa came early he kept telling them he is not real and then he burst their bubble on the easter bunny and told them he's not real either he told them if he's real why is he giving you valentine day candy we never told him about santa existing or not he is now almost 18 last year when we all got together the cousins he told said thanks alot for ruining it for us that year but we got twice as many gifts since we opened the found ones my cousin (their mom )wasn't happy that year and she told my nephew that she wasn't happy with him he looked her in the eye and told her I'm the big cousin I had to tell them before some other kid does they laugh at it now kids get over things

 

[momto2girls]

Wow! I'm so glad that my girls (ages 7 and 4) still believe. I realize that this might be the last year for the 7 year old but I'm really hoping that it isn't. I remember when I found out that Santa wasn't real. Christmas definitely lost its magic after that and has never been the same since. I definitely want to try to preserve the magic for my kids for as long as possible.

However, I do realize that kids talk. So, I've done the best that I can to try to head off the issue. Best to be proactive, I think. I've told my kids that Santa doesn't visit every child. I told her that some parents don't want Santa to come to their house, so he respects their wishes. I've also advised her not to bring up Santa at all to other children. That way the whole topic can be avoided completely. So, she talks about what she got for Christmas, but she doesn't say who she got it from.

I feel so sad for the 5 year old that heard about Santa. 5 years old? I can't imagine my child not believing at that age. So young! Hopefully, her mother covered and kept the magic alive. I think it is ridiculous that she expected the OP's son to be punished though.

 

[DAPford]

well heres another 2 cents. My husband and his sister grew up on the mission field in Equador with parents who are missionararies and did Santa. His sister's family did not do Santa, we did until our daughter asked if Santa was as real as Jesus ( she was 6 in first grade at a christian school) At that time we decided what was more important, her faith or her fun. Every family has to ask thereselves what kind of grown up are they raising and decide from there how to handle each situation ( finances,birthdays, chores, etc ) the original posted handled it as she saw fit the other mother handled it as she did but by how they handled themselves what did the children learn ? Dad has already apologized child made a mistake teach them from it and if the other mom chooses to cut off the friendship maybe thats what she wants to teach her child.again just my 2 cents, won't even buy a cup of coffee. by the way Christmas is still a great time at my house my 12 year old still tries to get up at 2:30 to check out her gifts and we remember to celebrate Jesus's birth as a promise kept the whole season. we are not perfect just forgiven when we make mistakes.