WWYD - Shady things happened with workers while roofing

[Minnesota!]

Hi Minnesota - guess we have totally different ways of looking at what happened.

That would be the day I'd allow someone to sit bare butt in my bathroom, and let me see EVERYTHING as I walked by stinking it up like he did. No way. Maybe it's because I'm older and have more life experience but that is crossing the line.

You wouldn't get upset about stealing the apples/pears? But what if it was a laptop, or a diamond ring that was sitting in the bathroom? You'd be fine with that? Stealing is stealing in my book.

How else would someone sit on your toilet, but bare butt? I agreed, the door being open was weird, but he didn't do anything about it - you said he sprayed...probably REALLY had a sour stomach. He should have closed the door and he should have cleaned up after himself. I would be irritated about that, yes. But, not about him using it.

I would not get mad about the apples/pears. Quite a stretch from a ring or laptop.

Apples and pears regenerate, the others don't. I have always said - if someone it "stealing" food or drink, they have a need. Not my place to judge if that need is warranted by my standards. Nobody NEEDS a ring, everyone NEEDS to eat.

What does this mean?

Not-so-veiled "those damn Mexicans who poop", I am guessing.

 

[Snowflakey]

How else would someone sit on your toilet, but bare butt? I agreed, the door being open was weird, but he didn't do anything about it - you said he sprayed...probably REALLY had a sour stomach. He should have closed the door and he should have cleaned up after himself. I would be irritated about that, yes. But, not about him using it.

I would not get mad about the apples/pears. Quite a stretch from a ring or laptop.

Apples and pears regenerate, the others don't. I have always said - if someone it "stealing" food or drink, they have a need. Not my place to judge if that need is warranted by my standards. Nobody NEEDS a ring, everyone NEEDS to eat.


Not-so-veiled "those damn Mexicans who poop", I am guessing.

Which is exactly what I said from the beginning. Not mad he used the bathroom but what happened when he did use it!

If they need food that bad believe me there are SO MANY programs they can get free housing, food, gas, you name it. Don't steal the items that my DD relies on for income.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

If you don’t know yet, you’ll find out soon enough. Lol

Perhaps you could explain it?

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

How else would someone sit on your toilet, but bare butt? I agreed, the door being open was weird, but he didn't do anything about it - you said he sprayed...probably REALLY had a sour stomach. He should have closed the door and he should have cleaned up after himself. I would be irritated about that, yes. But, not about him using it.

I would not get mad about the apples/pears. Quite a stretch from a ring or laptop.

Apples and pears regenerate, the others don't. I have always said - if someone it "stealing" food or drink, they have a need. Not my place to judge if that need is warranted by my standards. Nobody NEEDS a ring, everyone NEEDS to eat.


Not-so-veiled "those damn Mexicans who poop", I am guessing.

That’s a racist comment.

And I totally disagree that people should be allowed to take food because of “need.”

 

[Minnesota!]

That’s a racist comment.

And I totally disagree that people should be allowed to take food because of “need.”

My comment was racist? Because I was deciphering what you inferred?

That is fine that you disagree - just as long you (general) who disagree realize that not everyone feels that way.

Would I pick fruit from someone's tree without asking? Nope. But, I also know that it would not bother me if someone came into my yard and picked MY fruit without asking. Everyone has different needs and was raised differently. Life is too short for the small things, IMO.

 

[Colleen27]

This won't help with the current situation, but over the years DH was in construction, I learned to ask specifically when booking a job whether the work would be performed by regular employees or shopped out. Unfortunately, quite a few construction "companies" in our area are nothing more than bid-and-permit operators who then hire day labor to carry out the work, and I generally try to avoid doing business with those companies because frankly the owner often isn't familiar enough with his own workers to know their quality of work, much less count on them to behave appropriately on job sites. There are enough mom-and-pop construction companies in my community who have regular crews of locals that I don't need to/want to hire someone who is just passing the job along to temp labor.

I have always allowed crews working on my home to use the main-floor half bath and to refill water bottles in the kitchen. I wouldn't expect workers to be here, especially on a multi-day job, without access to water and bathroom facilities, and I'd rather just let them come inside than rent a port-a-john for the duration. We don't have fast food places or gas stations with public restrooms nearby - we actually only have one fast food place in our town, and their lobby still hasn't reopened post-covid - so I do feel obligated to provide facilities myself. It has honestly never crossed my mind that a grown person would use the toilet without closing the door! I'd absolutely bring that and the fruit to the owner's attention, if for no other reason than because he might not want to continue using workers who behave that way, but I wouldn't expect any real resolution beyond maybe an apology.

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

My comment was racist? Because I was deciphering what you inferred?

That is fine that you disagree - just as long you (general) who disagree realize that not everyone feels that way.

Would I pick fruit from someone's tree without asking? Nope. But, I also know that it would not bother me if someone came into my yard and picked MY fruit without asking. Everyone has different needs and was raised differently. Life is too short for the small things, IMO.

Why? Let’s be frank. You know it was a racist comment. I inferred no such thing. I was saying that in Texas there is no rule of law. In Texas there I one set of laws that is applied to citizens/residents and one set to illegals. Because we are overwhelmed in Texas. The reason why people feel comfortable stealing apples is because nothing will happen to them. The reason why people drive around without car insurance is because nothing will happen to them. Also, you never know what kind of work you will get. You pay top dollar and then more often than not the people doing the actual work are unskilled and unaccountable. Sometimes you get lucky and the work is great. But unionized skilled labor? Not in doing Texas. Check any restaurant bathroom. The tile work is usually pretty bad. I’m not big on unions myself, but I am big on skill. I was also saying that societal norms are no longer respected. There is a feeling that things are falling apart because of this. Like when someone uses a toilet, they clean up after themselves. Just common knowledge. There will always be people who refuse to follow societal norms. But in a functional society, it’s a very small minority. We are in a situation where the majority is starting to ignore these norms.

 

[ronandannette]

OP, please come back and update us after the meeting with the company owner. I work in general contracting and run literally dozens of other companies as subcontractors, all of whom must conform to our company’s standards of conduct while representing us. The bathroom thing is unfortunate but far from the end of the world and I’d not be able to weigh in on it, other than to apologize for her perceived distress.

The theft of fruit though, is egregious and there would be some sort of compensation offered and harsh consequences for the crew. Hopefully she took some pictures of the incident as it happened? Honestly, I’m taken aback by the comments that see this as no big deal. Even hungry people wouldn’t be welcome to come in and rummage through one’s fridge and pantry, would they?

 

[Snowflakey]

OP, please come back and update us after the meeting with the company owner. I work in general contracting and run literally dozens of other companies as subcontractors, all of whom must conform to our company’s standards of conduct while representing us. The bathroom thing is unfortunate but far from the end of the world and I’d not be able to weigh in on it, other than to apologize for her perceived distress.

The theft of fruit though, is egregious and there would be some sort of compensation offered and harsh consequences for the crew. Hopefully she took some pictures of the incident as it happened? Honestly, I’m taken aback by the comments that see this as no big deal. Even hungry people wouldn’t be welcome to come in and rummage through one’s fridge and pantry, would they?

I will give an update afterwards. DD isn't expecting anything nor asking for anything but feels strongly that the owner needs these items brought to his attention along with several items that were done incorrectly on the roof installation.

I am taken back by some comments here also and I thank you for understanding it the way my DD and her husband does.

As I stated several times but somehow it got messed up by some along the way here - DD isn't asking for anything and never thought about making a police report over this. It comes down to respect of the workers (along with the workmanship) which is why she wants to speak to the owner.

 

[sam_gordon]

Exactly! My DD was gagging from the awful smell, and then when she went into the bathroom after the guy left there was "poo" sprayed all up the toilet. Totally unacceptable!! And she is worried about covid also as it has ramped up again around here!

Is there some new knowledge/technology where a person knows/controls a) the smell of their feces and/or b) how their feces comes out of their body?

And if she was/is worried about covid, why did she let the worker in the house.

I get being upset over the apples, and yes, it's worth mentioning to the owner. The bathroom thing? Keeping the door open does seem strange, but I'd use this as a lesson to clarify how bathroom breaks are handled when bidding future work.

 

[mom2rtk]

Let the worker use the restroom. Don't let them use it. It's up to you. But to complain after about the smell is just strange.

I can't explain him not closing the door. Maybe he thought it was closed but it popped back open. Why would you even be in the vicinity to see if it was open?

The fruit thing is odd, but not huge. Definitely say something to the owner, but honestly, that really needed to be addressed on the spot.

I look at this and see the parental job as talking to the daughter about needing to speak up for herself. Say no if you don't want them using your restroom. Say something when you see them taking some fruit. Don't wait and make it a bigger deal after the fact.

 

[lanejudy]

I understand the DD's desire to have someone else in the house while workers are there; maybe another time her father can stay until the workers have left the property completely. I prefer to have DH home as well, though occasionally that just doesn't fit the schedules and I have to deal. We've allowed workers in to use the bathroom. The alternative seems to be loss of productive work time for the job, which ultimately means a longer job and more stress for me.

My first assumption with the bathroom door issue was he thought he closed it and it popped open, maybe pushed it closed in a hurry but it didn't latch completely. We have a bathroom door that does that and eventually added a eye-hook type latch. I'm sure it wasn't a comfortable situation for the worker, either. It really sounds as though he had an urgent situation. I don't see anywhere in the OP that he left a mess, just a smell. The mess seems to have been added somewhere along the thread, but if he did leave one he should have cleaned up after himself; and at that point I would have refused to allow the rest of the crew access to the bathroom claiming it needed to be cleaned. I also didn't read that he intentionally showed anything private as someone else suggests. Other than the owner "apologizing" for the unpleasantness, I'm not sure what she expects. She needs to stand up for herself and deny access in the future if it's that distressing to her.

As for the fruit...yeah it was wrong, though I'm wondering if there was some kind of miscommunication that had them thinking they were allowed. Since she didn't take any steps to stop them at that point could be considered implied consent. Honestly, if pressed they are likely to say they were given -- or misunderstood but thought they were told -- approval to take some fruit. If she isn't asking for compensation, yes she can mention it but there isn't much to be done about it.

The workers in her home and the situation are apparently a trigger for her anxiety, which is something she needs to address. There is nothing the owner can do to resolve it. I guess if it makes her feel better to complain. But if she is that prone to anxiety that she now won't answer the door for FedEx -- there's more to her issue than just the workers.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

As I've said here, my DD is and has been handling this all on her own. Not me, not her father, her and her husband. I noted that I may attend the meeting however that has changed and I won't be as I have a meeting I'm hosting. My husband will be there because there are several things wrong with the work done on the roof and he will be discussing that since he knows what he is talking about.

In no way what so ever did DD and her husband harass the owner. It wasn't 12 calls a day. It was ONE call every day following the instructions of the receptionist at this company. She told my DD to call every day until they hear from the owner.

You talked about your intent to go to the meeting however convenient now you have a meeting that was the point. Your daughter has her own household and spouse. You don't need to be involved. Asking for advice from her parent is fine and no where in my comment did I ever say you couldn't support her but what you spoke of I simply agreed with another poster that your daughter not you needed to be the one to do it. Clearly enough people agreed with that first poster who brought up not only you stepping back but also the 12 calls given the amount of likes.

I never said 12 calls in a day, I knew you said 12 calls total one every day. I stand by my comment of borderline harassment. Did they think it was that? Of course not, they were just wanting to get the owner to call them back, but like any other business they have other clients and other obligations. Someone calling that frequently yeah it would be an issue. As far as instruction from the receptionist you never mentioned this and I was not the first poster who brought up the amount of calls, I just agreed with them.

We've had our own issues with warranty stuff when our house was built although most of our communication was via e-mail but I know how it feels to get a lack of response. In our case our first line of defense was the developer, but the BBB was also mentioned. 2 days after we mentioned the Developer's name I had the regional director of the building company in my backyard with one of his site managers. I was alone, my husband was in TX on a field assignment. All the warranty stuff (seam in granite in the kitchen, grout separation, nail pops, replacement of a wood flooring edging and then the backyard drainage) was all handled with me alone in the house as my husband was not here. He did the up front communication part because he already had been. I've been in your daughter's shoes, forgive me for understanding how that feels but also having a different perspective than you on how to handle it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Interesting thread. It’s made me think about some of the workers’s we’ve had here. Once we had a crew building a large shed in 100+ degree weather with the sun blaring. I felt awful they were so hot - these are people, after all (and as a nurse, I can’t help but thinking of peoples’ well-being). I offered to let them jump in the pool if they wanted to. They didn’t, but some of them did go over to it and put some water on their heads to cool down. We also served them a nice lunch in our kitchen with the AC blaring. They appreciated it. They were allowed to use the bathroom which was right inside the door near where they were working.

A more recent one was a little weird. Late last fall the time had come to sell my mother’s car that had been sitting for a couple of years and it needed a good cleaning/detailing. It wasn’t registered or insured so we couldn’t drive it anywhere and needed someone to come to us. I realized in calling around it was too late in the season (ie cold) for that so no one would come - except one guy. He showed up in the morning right on time. Turned out his Dad dropped him and his bucket of equipment off in my driveway then drove off leaving him alone. (I think I was expecting a work van and maybe a small crew, as we’d had in the past from other companies.) He did a good job but it was quite cold out and I felt bad. He was out there all day and I could see him trying to warm his hands, etc. I was home alone (and really had no clue who he was) so I brought him out some warm banana bread and a hot chocolate, and he was grateful. Seemed like a nice, hard-working guy. Then he asked me if he could use my bathroom. I let him but admittedly I did have some reservations. It worked out fine except I went to give him a check from the estate and he really wanted cash or Venmo. Eventually he took the check and I gave him a good tip.

I guess the point of this story is that given the crazy news stories we see today, it’s only natural for people to be a little more hesitant than they perhaps were in the past about work people coming into their homes, especially when they’re alone and most definitely when they’re not exactly sure who they are.

The thread also made me think about peoples’ bathroom habits, and how some people just have no hesitation at all who sees and hears what when it comes to relieving themselves and others’ seeing their bodies, etc. (We see this up close and personal in the hospital.) I am always a little surprised at the number of people who leave the door wide open when they’re “going”, even when others are in their room. Some of it could be cultural, too. Maybe they live in a place where the door is broken or in their families they keep it open when they go. Two of our three bathrooms here have pocket doors and a lot of times people stand perplexed in the doorway trying to figure out how to close the door. I remember one friend thinking there was no door until we explained how to use it. Of course there‘s always the chance that he had to go so bad that he just about made it to the bowl in time and didn’t have time to close the door! Just to throw some possible scenarios out there. I agree he should’ve attempted to clean it up, but am not really surprised that he didn’t. How many times do we go into a public bathroom and see poop all over the place? I do quite a bit. (Should it make a difference whether it’s public or private if you make a big mess like that?)

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Why would you even be in the vicinity to see if it was open?

Our main level bathroom is by the garage and behind the kitchen but even then if a contractor needs to use our restroom and I'm okay with it out of respect (that's just my personal feelings not to say anything towards anyone else) I would stay far enough away to give them privacy even when they aren't in the bathroom. Same when a contractor is doing other stuff within the house itself save for the cable repair because they often need to converse with us.

I guess I could see if the bathroom was in a hallway that is a frequently used one or one located right there in the midst of the main living space but I guess I would probably avoid that area too for a while.

 

[Snowflakey]

Is there some new knowledge/technology where a person knows/controls a) the smell of their feces and/or b) how their feces comes out of their body?

And if she was/is worried about covid, why did she let the worker in the house.

I get being upset over the apples, and yes, it's worth mentioning to the owner. The bathroom thing? Keeping the door open does seem strange, but I'd use this as a lesson to clarify how bathroom breaks are handled when bidding future work.

It's about respect of others and cleaning up your dang mess after you asked to use the bathroom.

Never did she think they would be coming in to poop in her bathroom. Like she said, she would never ask to use a strangers bathroom to do that. She'd rather drive a quarter mile down the road and use the port-0-potty that was there.

Oh, lesson was learned!

 

[easyas123]

The fruit thing is odd, but not huge. Definitely say something to the owner, but honestly, that really needed to be addressed on the spot.

I look at this and see the parental job as talking to the daughter about needing to speak up for herself. Say no if you don't want them using your restroom. Say something when you see them taking some fruit. Don't wait and make it a bigger deal after the fact.

Since she didn't take any steps to stop them at that point could be considered implied consent.

The workers in her home and the situation are apparently a trigger for her anxiety, which is something she needs to address. There is nothing the owner can do to resolve it. I guess if it makes her feel better to complain. But if she is that prone to anxiety that she now won't answer the door for FedEx -- there's more to her issue than just the workers.

Agreed. I don't understand why not say something to someone you see taking your apples - which as the OP said were a commodity, something they sold for profit.
I have a farm, we grow a fruit that is sold - if someone decided to come over and start cutting our grapes and taking them you can be sure I'd say something to them. Right then and there. Unless I'm misunderstanding the situation, but if she just watched them do it I don't understand why not say something? Waiting until after the fact - well, what's the point?

 

[Snowflakey]

Let the worker use the restroom. Don't let them use it. It's up to you. But to complain after about the smell is just strange.

I can't explain him not closing the door. Maybe he thought it was closed but it popped back open. Why would you even be in the vicinity to see if it was open?

The fruit thing is odd, but not huge. Definitely say something to the owner, but honestly, that really needed to be addressed on the spot.

I look at this and see the parental job as talking to the daughter about needing to speak up for herself. Say no if you don't want them using your restroom. Say something when you see them taking some fruit. Don't wait and make it a bigger deal after the fact.

It isn't about complaining about the smell. I was trying to give a full picture explanation of what happened. It's was about the lack of respect when using the bathroom.

No the door didn't swing open.

She was in the vicinity because she was working from home and after she showed him the bathroom she had to put her dog in her bedroom because he was barking so she walked back to her office, never thinking he'd be on display.

Maybe the fruit thing needed to be addressed on the spot but these people only did these things when she was home alone. When DH was there they didn't do anything. Shady.

 

[mom2rtk]

It isn't about complaining about the smell. I was trying to give a full picture explanation of what happened. It's was about the lack of respect when using the bathroom.

No the door didn't swing open.

She was in the vicinity because she was working from home and after she showed him the bathroom she had to put her dog in her bedroom because he was barking so she walked back to her office, never thinking he'd be on display.

Maybe the fruit thing needed to be addressed on the spot but these people only did these things when she was home alone. When DH was there they didn't do anything. Shady.

I just don't get the respect thing. He had to go. Honest question, do you think he should have stated that he needed to go number 2?

Maybe it would all make more sense to me if I knew the layout. You say he was "on display". Was the door all the way open?

 

[Snowflakey]

You talked about your intent to go to the meeting however convenient now you have a meeting that was the point. Your daughter has her own household and spouse. You don't need to be involved. Asking for advice from her parent is fine and no where in my comment did I ever say you couldn't support her but what you spoke of I simply agreed with another poster that your daughter not you needed to be the one to do it. Clearly enough people agreed with that first poster who brought up not only you stepping back but also the 12 calls given the amount of likes.

I can be and will be involved if my DD wants me to.

"Convenient" I now have a meeting. Um - this is my job. Meetings are scheduled every day. If for one second you think I'm now not attending the meeting because of comments here that makes me laugh out loud!