We are feeling the same way then. Since I can't believe that so many people think Suzie's behavior is ok. Condoning, helping, and making it easier for teens that are this irresponsible and careless is not going to help them. Furthermore she encourages others to do the same and there is no consequence to her actions, on the contrary everyone think it's the OP's child who needs a 'teachable moment' rather than Suzie. It seems that Suzie hasn't learn from her mistakes and now encourages others to do the same. Adolescents are easily impressionable beings that are easily swayed and that is documented and known. Maybe if we would be a little harsher and stop making it easier and condoning this kind of behavior teens wouldn't be messing up and think twice before they act. I believe in giving people a break, but not when they show no signs of trying to improve their situation. That's just making their behavior worst.
Sorry, but you and I don't feel the same way at all.
I can't believe that you still think that so many of us think that Susie's behaviour is ok, just because we said that the OP needs to use this to teach her daughter. You make giant leaps that just aren't there...I would love to have you in my school for a day so you could see how those of us who are actually qualified to work with pregnant teens handle this issue.
I can't believe people still think that garbage in 2011.
How is pregnancy 'catching'? After 5 kids, I'm pretty sure that's not how it happens...
I was in HS with pregnant girls (and teen dads too). I was not interested in being a teen mom. My oldest ds was with teen moms in his hs too (graduated last year) and he isn't a teen dad.
The OP's daughter should just nod noncomitally at Susie when she rambles about how great being a pregnant teen is. Act disinterested. She'll get bored and go find someone else to pester.
My school (which is where my own teens attend) didn't 'boot out' pregnant girls. The idea is that they will graduate and be able to take care of themselves and their kids. Oldest ds went to a tech school and the teen moms graduate with a trade they can use.
I'm still stunned that people think this way too. It is very insulting to those adults who are struggling with conception. What a bizarre and simplistic attitude...
I agree...every child has a right to an education. Is it a good idea for her to be talking about how Susie can get pregnant...probably not, but she may still be trying to convince herself that it's a good idea.
Segregating your child from bad situations and influences is likely to backfire. If you keep your daughter from everything you percieve to be bad she is likely to run headlong into it the first chance she gets. Rather use this as a teaching tool to show her what can happen. You have to accept that your children grow up and you can't control all aspects of what they are exposed to, but if you talk to them and give them the tools they need to make wise choices then you can feel better about them being out in the world.
This is exactly what I as a teacher and a parent hope for my children. Sure certain topics may need to be sheltered in terms of age appropriate issues (my 8 year old doesn't know about incest), but at 14 years old, most teens absolutely better know about teen pregnancies (except for special needs teens or developmentally delayed). I hope as a teacher and a parent that I am giving all of my kids the tools they need to get through life. Having Susie booted out of school is not the answer.
Ugh - OP here, wishing this post would die. People have made me out to be some evil helicopter parent of a precious snowflake daughter. If you knew me, you would know that I'm far from it. I was seeking advice, but instead, every phrase I typed got twisted around, bolded and quoted and used against me.
I don't mind differing opinions, but the direct insults on this thread directed at me and my daughter are really sad.
My grandmother taught me that people who rudely attack others have a very low opinion of themselves.
And now I'm sure that half of you will turn around and say that *I* was attacking Susie for daring to speak to my precious snowflake............and no matter what I say, you won't be convinced otherwise.
Thanks to the very very few of you who actually did offer constructive advice and also those who sent me private messages. Now, my precious snowflake and I are going to watch a movie and I'm going to stay off the computer for a while...............
I received *some* constructive advice. I mentioned that in my last post. But I was also attacked and criticized for asking for advice. Describing my socially awkward, geeky daughter somehow turned her into a "precious snowflake", when all I meant to do was demonstrate how different these two girls are.
I spend the day picking apples with my daughters today, only to come back and find I was accused of having "gone awol". Do you all just sit at your computers all day, every day, waiting to attack every single post? I have a life outside the DIS, thank God, and I have real friends that I will go to for advice from now on.
I actually saw Susie at the orchards today. Gave her and her mom a big hug. I've known her since she was 5, I've taught a couple of her siblings. I don't hate her, like you all think I do. I'm simply concerned about her spouting off to young girls about how great it is to be pregnant at 16, and how she can hook them up with boys to get them pregnant. I know it's going to be a tough road, even though she has more support than many girls in her situation.
(now I'll wait for this post to get quoted, bolded, and twisted around)
I don't think you hate Susie at all. I don't remember you saying you've known her for that long either. Maybe you have more of a relationship with her than you've previously told us about, and so maybe you can talk to her outside of the school setting? It does sound like you are concerned about Susie, as well as your daughter. But again, she can spout off all she wants, as your daughter shouldn't be influenced by what she has to say at all.
We can only change our own behaviours, and not anyone else's, so give your daughter the tools she needs to not go down the same road as Susie.
Hi OP
Not going to send you a PM of support because I want to publicly support you in this thread!!!
I feel your posts are being twisted and that some people on here have nothing better to do than pick others apart or add their own spin on what your original intent was.
You sound like a great mom who cares about what kind of influences your DD may encounter. It is my opinion (and just MY OPINION) that more mothers should put forth the same effort as you to help your child deal with something that is bothering her. Being a 'helicopter parent' is something completely different.
I from the camp that believe keeping children young for as long as I can is better than allowing them to grow up too quickly. They will have there whole life to be an adult. My parents kept me from growing up too fast for as long as they could, and yet I grew up to be a functioning adult despite it all.
Keep up the good work!!!!
I am absolutely an advocate of not letting kids grow up too quickly, but information needs to be imparted to our kids at age appropriate times. My own children are definitely not growing up too fast at all, yet they still have knowledge of some very heavy subjects. So, at 14 years old, teens need to have knowledge of teen pregnancy. Heck, some 8-9 year olds are getting their periods, so this subject has got to come up way before the age of 14. Hiding it from kids is not going to arm them with the knowledge they need to make positive choices, some of which may involve the sexual activities that result in pregnancy.
My 8 year old has known about teen pregnancy for a couple of years now as I teach lots of pregnant girls, and run an outreach program for them, of which my daughter has helped me with. She still doesn't know how babies are made, as she hasn't asked for the scientific specifics yet, but she knows that some teens have babies, and it's a tough road for them...and she is only 8 years old. I have not hidden any of my Susies from my little girl, so not sure why some of you think Susie should be hidden from other teens? If my daughter is capable at 8 yrs old to understand that some people make problematic and difficult choices, how are teens not capable of understanding that?
Tiger
? Just how close does one have to be to a pregnant teen/woman for this to happen
I did not mean to twist your words or distort your post. It just read differently to me.
