WWYD??? Parenting related...

[PaulaSB12]

I did recently see a dad screaming at his three kids in Wegmans, obviously they were running all over but what do you expect with three young kids at a supermarket? They were crying and he was just going off. I followed him around for a few minutes, just to let him know I was watching him. If he hit his kids I would have said something for sure, I think some people talk so badly to their children out in public I can't imagine what they are like at home behind closed doors.

What do I expect they should be doing as their parent told them to and if he had smacked them it would have been well deserved. Why are we so afraid to punish children these days?

 

[Hillbeans]

If he had 3 children running around then it is to be assumed that they are all old enough to know better and needed to be disciplined. I expect my children to behave at the supermarket no matter their age.

he probably went home and told his wife about the creepy person that was following him around the supermarket.

He was screaming so loudly that he caused a bigger scene than the kids who were misbehaving. I'm sorry but it's upsetting and this man was large and intimidating. I couldn't imagine having my father yell at me in that way and yes, he was swearing. I'm sorry if that upsets me but it does. I also don't appreciate being called creepy, I think that's uncalled for.

 

[PaulaSB12]

He was screaming so loudly that he caused a bigger scene than the kids who were misbehaving. I'm sorry but it's upsetting and this man was large and intimidating. I couldn't imagine having my father yell at me in that way and yes, he was swearing. I'm sorry if that upsets me but it does. I also don't appreciate being called creepy, I think that's uncalled for.

The trouble is that you where acting creepy.

 

[jodifla]

What would you do if you were at a public place and saw an adult screaming at a child, with their face in the child's face. Keep in mind, we are not talking about a quick correction that takes two seconds, we are talking about something that went on for several minutes.

Unless I thought it might get physical, I'd mind my own business.

 

[Hannathy]

He was screaming so loudly that he caused a bigger scene than the kids who were misbehaving. I'm sorry but it's upsetting and this man was large and intimidating. I couldn't imagine having my father yell at me in that way and yes, he was swearing. I'm sorry if that upsets me but it does. I also don't appreciate being called creepy, I think that's uncalled for.

But if you are with someone everyday that is large they aren't intimidating to you, they are just your Dad. And my Dad swore all the time but he was a very gentle man, and you don't get to decide whether another adult can swear.

And if you were following him around the store that is being creepy

 

[MIGrandma]

I would mind my own business and just be glad that they were disciplining their child. Not my concern.

This.

People get involved in other people's business way too much these days.

 

[Acklander]

Another one in that if it hadn't gotten physical I would mind my own business. I'd probably have a horrified look on my face, because treating anyone that way is horrifying, but I'd have stayed out of it. While I don't agree with what they were doing, it wasn't my child so not my call to make.

Personally, if my child isn't behaving, we leave. I'm a firm believer in treating others how you want to be treated and leading by example. I would NEVER want someone screaming/swearing at me in public so I won't do that to someone else, including someone I love. While the child may have been doing something wrong, so was the adult. I understand that sometimes people lose their cool, but once you lose control (and yes, screaming in someone's face is losing control) it's time to step away. You can discipline without being demeaning and disrespectful.

 

[Dee77]

OP here again-

I have no idea if she hit the child prior to me getting close enough to tell, she was bent down and leaning into his face and I was directly across so she blocked most of what I could see. The child was hysterical, sobbing and unable to catch his breath, because he was crying so much. She did stand up and turn around but a second later she was back in his face..

Her comment that he is not allowed at her house anymore made me think that neither of the 2 adults that were with him were his parents, this made me even more concerned. Before I heard that comment, I had been walking closer to get their attention and see if they would realize what they were doing when they saw that people had noticed. When I asked if everything was OK, it was to try to re-direct their attention so that maybe she would gather her composure and say, 'yeah I just got really mad at something or I need to walk away now before I go any farther etc.'

I was the one who called the police. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that after it was pointed out to her that she was would realize that she went overboard. She did have another adult there if she needed a time out from her tirade but no she saw things differently.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd have called the cops.

I generally consider myself pretty good at telling the difference between "parent disciplining/correcting child for bad public behavior" and "parent killing child's psyche because they are an abusive freak".

 

[Arielle22]

I think you should have minded your own business.

My younger daughter cries anytime she is disciplined or can't get her own way. She is now 15 and can control it somewhat but still happens. I am not going to stop talking to her just because she is crying.

You have no frame of comparison for the adults behavior versus what the child had done. What if the child has been hitting another child and the adults were upset over that? Perhaps the adults had a very good reason for being upset.

As for the aunt being arrested, it does not necessarily mean she was doing anything wrong with the child. If she didn't listen to and obey the police then that was enough to get her arrested.

 

[pyrxtc]

He was screaming so loudly that he caused a bigger scene than the kids who were misbehaving. I'm sorry but it's upsetting and this man was large and intimidating. I couldn't imagine having my father yell at me in that way and yes, he was swearing. I'm sorry if that upsets me but it does. I also don't appreciate being called creepy, I think that's uncalled for.

well, if you were being followed around the store by someone who was watching my every move, wouldn't you think that was creepy ?

 

[Jennasis]

Myob.

 

[ginna74]

mind yur own, for sure..

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I would ask the woman to please mind her language in a public place with other small children.

If there was security or an official nearby, I might mention to them that there was an adult cursing at a football game full of little kids.

 

[DMRick]

If there was security or an official nearby, I might mention to them that there was an adult cursing at a football game full of little kids.

This.

OP here again-

I was the one who called the police. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that after it was pointed out to her that she was would realize that she went overboard. She did have another adult there if she needed a time out from her tirade but no she saw things differently.

If she was yelling and not touching, I would have minded my own, as others have said. Hopefully the child doesn't get blamed for the arrest and end up 'paying' for it.

 

[Skywalker]

Calling the police on a parent/aunt yelling at a child? No way! Thousands of parents over thousands of years have I'm sure screamed at their children, some children know how to make their parents blow a basket. Doesn't mean they're abusive though.

And how do you know what he did? Maybe the kid is a terror who abused her cat, killed her dog, broke the TV with a hammer, and started a fire in her bedroom. Who knows? If I had a nephew like that I'd tell him he's never coming over to my house again either. Just throwing an example out there.

 

[Pigeon]

I would mind my own business.

In general, I don't yell at my kids. However, I now have a thirteen year old who is trying on the attitude with me in a big way. After she pushed my buttons all afternoon yesterday, we were in Target and she gratuitously used the f-bomb and then lied about it and smirked at me.

I got in her face and yelled at her, and humiliation in a public place was exactly what she needed. That and being grounded for a week.

 

[Dee77]

I'd have called the cops.

I generally consider myself pretty good at telling the difference between "parent disciplining/correcting child for bad public behavior" and "parent killing child's psyche because they are an abusive freak".

This is exactly what went through my mind as I walked closer to this woman, that she is bullying him and killing his spirit.

I have seen enough parents that have a "bark is bigger than their bite" mentality to keep their children in line, heck my Mom only had to give "the look" but going over board was what I witnessed yesterday.

The woman will have to appear in court and explain her actions that occurred in front of the police and were aimed at the police. She will probably be fine since part of her tirade was that her husband is a sergeant. He was there too and was initially in the camp of "everything was fine, that I should not have jumped in" But after a few minutes apart with her transport to the police station, suddenly they both were singing different tunes. The woman and her husband both agreed that she has a bad temper and that she went over board with correcting her nephew for something that happened 2 days prior.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and of course people have different comfort levels with what they are willing to do in a situation like this but I will admit that I am surprised there are so many people who took the position of "mind my own business." I made it very clear from the first post that this was more than a quick correction out in public but more of a verbal assault that went on for several minutes prior to me speaking up.

 

[Hannathy]

you should have kept your nose out of it
I don't know what you think you did but it wasn't to help the child, who probably caught H when he got home again cause now the Aunt has to go to court for yelling at the officer.

She didn't get arrested for child abuse unless child welfare came and got the child or they took the child with the police. If the kid and his dad just went home then she is getting charged with something else and now everyone will be mad at the kid.

I don't understand who you think gave you the power to determine everyone should parent as you do?


Forgot to add have you ever seen real child abuse? If you have you will know it and it isn't getting yelled at.

 

[ski_mom]

I think it's interesting that people say to myob so much. I agree that everyone parents differently, but the OP said that it was much for that a correction and more like an assult. If you saw an adult male verbally assulting a woman, getting in their face for several minutes and seemed to be unable or unwilling to calm themselves down, would you feel any differently.

I'm basically a very timid individual and probably wouldn't have done anything and felt bad about it for a long time. I've seen shows on Oprah or something similar to see what people do when placed in certain situations. It seems like one of them was about a male berating a young woman and they were trying to see if anyone stepped in to try to get him to calm down. I see this as a similar situation, except it is a child/parent instead of a male/female situation.