WWYD, Parenting question

[OceanAnnie]

This was a topic of another thread I found interesting.

Your DS 5 is at an indoor play place with sandbox, balloons, etc.. They allow running. Your DS is running and accidentally bumps into another child knocking the balloon out of his hand. The child that was bumped turns and pushes your DS by his shoulders so hard it knocks your DS on his behind.

(Neither one was my child. I don't know the age of the other child.)

As a parent, what would you do? Poll coming.

 

[VAfamily1998]

Haven't seen the poll yet--but is the other child 5 years old (or appears to be) as well?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Haven't seen the poll yet--but is the other child 5 years old (or appears to be) as well?

I don't know. The other child's age or guesstimate never came up.

 

[Rora]

Not a parent yet but I chose option 3. I realize I should've chosen option 4, whoops.

So, I'd do everything in Option 3 but I'd probably tell the other little boy it wasn't nice to hit other people, too. That'd be it and playing would continue.

 

[SC Minnie]

If neither kid was crying and after the 'altercation' they both went on their way I wouldn't do anything.

 

[anniemae]

I would just chalk it up to kid stuff.

I would definately go over to make sure each child was okay, and to ensure it did not escalate any further. I would just say something "light" to my child like, "ooops! Johnny, watch where you are running, we don't want anyone to get hurt." I would probaly encourage my child to apologize, and maybe say to the other child, "it was just an accident, he didn't mean to bump you, no need to push."

Both kids were a little at fault. Child one for not looking where he was running, and child two for pushing back. But it's our job as parents to teach basic courtesy, but I never feel comfortable disciplining other peoples kids, that's why I would focus on my kid.

 

[disneyjunkie]

This was a topic of another thread I found interesting.

Your DS 5 is at an indoor play place with sandbox, balloons, etc.. They allow running. Your DS is running and accidentally bumps into another child knocking the balloon out of his hand. The child that was bumped turns and pushes your DS by his shoulders so hard it knocks your DS on his behind.

(Neither one was my child. I don't know the age of the other child.)

As a parent, what would you do? Poll coming.

I would want to know why my son didn't hit the other kid back.

The first act of contact was an accident, the second act was not.

It may put in the bad mommy club, but I always told my son if someone hits you to hit them back. However, he would have never hit someone for accidentally bumping into him.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would want to know why my son didn't hit the other kid back.

The first act of contact was an accident, the second act was not.

It may put in the bad mommy club, but I always told my son if someone hits you to hit them back. However, he would have never hit someone for accidentally bumping into him.

I'm glad you pointed that out. I look at it the same way.

I would not make my child apologize to someone after being purposely knocked down.

 

[Magic Mom]

I would want to know why my son didn't hit the other kid back.

The first act of contact was an accident, the second act was not.

It may put in the bad mommy club, but I always told my son if someone hits you to hit them back. However, he would have never hit someone for accidentally bumping into him.

Maybe the other kid didn't realize the first push was an accident and his mom taught him the same thing.

 

[anniemae]

Thats a good point about not making your child apologize when the inital contact was an accident.

It's hard to know what to do. Do you teach them to be a bigger person and apologize for not paying attention and bumping the child? or do you teach him to stand up for himself and push back, knowing child #2 was wrong to push?

I don't think either answer is wrong and would have to see it "go down" to know what to do. THere are so many variables. Maybe neither kid was effected and both went on their merry way, maybe child #2 was disabled and did not understand how to act, maybe it escalated into a huge fight, maybe child 1 ran into child 2 on purpose......

 

[sparklynails23]

I'd tell my kid, "See, that's what you get when you don't look where you are going." Then, I would tell him not to run.

It's no one's fault. The place should not allow running, and the parents should not allow running.

Just because the kids are at Chuck E Cheese (or wherever) and there's not a sign that says, "No running. No guns. No chewing gum, etc," that doesn't mean that the parents quit being parents. Tell your kids not to run inside. It's that simple.

 

[MrsPete]

This is minor stuff, the kind of thing kids need to learn to handle on their own. I'd hope my kid would've had the manners to say "sorry", but i wouldn't get involved at the time. I might say on the way home, "Tell me what happened. How could you have handled it better?". The obvious answers would be look where you are going and don't run.

I absolutely would not encourage my kid to escalate it into a fight. That would take a bad situation and make it worse.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I picked Other.

I would have my child apologize for the accidental bump.

I would tell other child it was an accident, and it's not ok to push my child for that.

If the other kid didn't then apologize also, well there's nothing I can do about that, but I would use it as a teaching moment for my own son.

Actually, we've been in that situation many times. (ETA i.e. one sided apologies.)

 

[Jennasis]

If I bump into somebody on accident, I apologize. Would make sense to instruct the kid to do the same. I'd probably have the the kid say sorry for bumping and then say to the other kid "Now you say your sorry for pushing..."

 

[LuvOrlando]

I would make sure my child was ok and explain what I saw to my child. The other kid was wrong but it's his/her Mom's problem, not mine so I wouldn't say anything to the other kid. No I'm sorry, there WOULD have been an I'm sorry if there was no push but once the push happens everything changes, and I'd probably tell my kids that too.

This is how I handle my kids now at nearly 12 & 13 too. I give them the benefit of my experience, explain what I see going on around them, give them the tools to manage others then back off & let them do it on their own as they see fit.

An accident doesn't deserve aggression and aggression doesn't deserve an apology.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Don't run??? They were in an indoor play area not a museum. It's a given that kids will run, scream, and yes bump one another while there.

 

[U2_rocks!]

It depends. If I were across the room when it happened then I might not do anything. I can usually tell from a distance if my kid has gotten up, brushed off and is going about life. If my child then came to me because he/she was upset about what happened, I might have a short talk (not quarrel - just along the lines of what others have said). I might have asked if he/she had apologized for bumping into the other kid, but I wouldn't make a huge deal. If I had been close by I might have taken the opportunity to say something right then, but I don't know - I think it would depend on the attitude of the kids involved. If they both got on with it afterwards, maybe I would leave things alone.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would make sure my child was ok and explain what I saw to my child. The other kid was wrong but it's his/her Mom's problem, not mine so I wouldn't say anything to the other kid. No I'm sorry, there WOULD have been an I'm sorry if there was no push but once the push happens everything changes, and I'd probably tell my kids that too.

This is how I handle my kids now at nearly 12 & 13 too. I give them the benefit of my experience, explain what I see going on around them, give them the tools to manage others then back off & let them do it on their own as they see fit.

An accident doesn't deserve aggression and aggression doesn't deserve an apology.

That's exactly how I see it!

 

[design_mom]

I would definitely make sure both kids were okay and would make my child apologize. I might also say something to the other child but I might not.

I would still make my child apologize. Even though it was unintentional, there were consequences and the child who caused the accident can apologize. He can say "I didn't mean to run into you, but I'm sorry you lost your balloon." or "It was an accident, but I'm sorry I bumped into you."

I think the other child also owes an apology for pushing someone down. As others said, maybe that child didn't realize the first contact was an accident. Or maybe his mother taught him to hit back like some people here are apparently teaching their children (scratch head).

Since I can't control the other child's behavior (or that of his parents), I would probably talked to my child about what I thought *should* have happened. "They *should* have apologized, but we can only control our own actions. You did the right thing by apologizing for your part."

 

[Acklander]

If no one was crying, I would ignore it. If it was my kid who did the shoving (not the accidental bump) then I would say something to my kid about playing nice. I'd NEVER go up to my kid and ask him why he didn't hit the other kid back.