WWYD In This Situation?

[Luv Bunnies]

I am an aide in a preschool class. The teacher, another aide and myself work the afternoon session. There is another teacher and 2 aides who work the morning session. We share the classroom. In the mornings, our group comes in and does prep work in another room until it's our turn to use the classroom. The morning staff uses the prep room in the afternoons.

Sharing the room is a new thing this year. The other teacher is brand new, still in school and very gung-ho about the latest and greatest techniques. My teacher has 25 years experience and is pretty set in the way she handles her class. Neither way is right or wrong, they're just very different. We have had some clashes with the other teacher about the room. She moves the furniture around and moves our things without asking us. We come in and find things in different places and sometimes can't find our things at all. Mostly, we've been tolerant and just put up and shut up about it.

So yesterday, my group was in the prep room. We started talking about some of the techniques we've seen the other teacher using (all of us take turns helping out in her classroom when she needs it). We never used the teacher's name. But I'll admit that we probably did sound a little snide. All of us are frustrated at the room sharing situation and the fact that we feel like guests in there (it was the other teacher's room first, we had to give up our room for another class). It's hard for us because she had us work with the kids one way and our teacher does things the way we're used to. Our vent was a culmination of a lot of changes this year. The thing we didn't realize is that the other teacher had come into the room and heard everything we said. She popped out from behind a divider and said, "You guys, I'm in here." Then she left.

I felt really badly that she heard us. We thought back on what we said and concluded that we never used her name. We weren't attacking her personally but she could have taken our comments personally. I felt the need to go directly to her and apologize for my part in the conversation. As soon as her class was over, she left to run an errand and then came back for parent conferences. We were in our the classroom with our kids by then. The other two in my group said they didn't feel they owed her an apology. I felt like we all did. Since I couldn't speak to her directly, I decided to leave a voicemail on her phone. I told her I was sorry if she felt badly about what we said. I said we have been frustrated by all of the changes this year and we were just venting and it wasn't aimed directly at her. I told her I realize she's learning all these new techniques in school and that's great but it's just different than what we're used to. And it's been hard for me to process all of the changes this year and I probably didn't go about expressing it in the most constructive way.

What else could/should I have done in this situation? I still feel badly for hurting her feelings and I still have to work with this woman. Did I do the right thing by apologizing? Should I try to persuade my co-workers to do the same? Or should we just try to move on and let it drop? I tend to be very aware of other people's feelings and this situation really made me feel terrible. Maybe I overreacted? WWYD?

 

[hentob]

I have watched young, happy, teachers with awesome ideas come into a school system and make older teachers look pretty bad

Many older teachers feel threatened by fresh, non-complaining, wide eyed, spunky teachers. They should be

Many older teachers do not like younger teachers. They resort to put downs and eye rolls and shunning.

I feel badly for that new teacher

I hope you guys sit her down and lay it on thick about how very sorry you all are.

ETA-I am glad you apologized. The others should be ashamed.

Teacher cliques are the WORST! Get out of one if you are in it

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that you did the right thing by making amends to her. At this point I think you should let it go...you can't make someone else feel sorry or apologize to her. You owned what you did (hopefully won't do it again ) and I don't think that anything else is expected from you.

 

[puffkin]

I think in the long run, even if the teacher is a little hurt/upset now, she will remember that you were the one that apologized. I would just let it go for now, continue being professional and courteous to her and try to stay out of the complaining/gossiping with the other aides.

 

[horseshowmom]

I agree with the others. You did the right thing. She was owed an apology. As the others said, I would let it go now and distance myself from any complaining in the future.

I will say one thing though, if the teacher is sharing space, after she moves things around to suit herself, she should put it all back before the next person comes in to use it. That just shows respect for others.

 

[bookgirl]

You did what you should. You apologized if you hurt her feelings and explained why you were frustrated. I was a teacher and I know it's hard to change direction when you get someone new in. However she is absolutly in the wrong for moving your stuff around and changing the set up of the room with out talking it over with the teacher she is sharing with. I think both sides are probably feeling a little put apon. I shared a room for almost a year my first year teaching. I liked the other teacher but we were much better workmates once I got my OWN room. '

I hope you guys can work it out.

 

[KirstenB]

You've done everything you can. We've all been in a situation where you just feel helpless. You do what you can, but you keep wondering if there's something else you're overlooking. It sounds like you'll be working with her in the future, so I'd work on making eye contact and smiling. Don't try to put anything else into words. If you have a chance to do something "extra" that would be helpful, be that person. Just know it'll probably take time.

The ball is now in her court.

 

[disykat]

I'm glad you apologized. I work part time so I often share rooms. I've been the first one in the room, and I've been the "guest." Last year, I know my coworker did not like sharing her room after having it to herself for many years. I tried to be really careful of her space and would have been VERY hurt if I'd overheard such a conversation.

When you share a room you have to be careful about stepping on toes, but there are going to be times your things are moved - there just are. You try to minimize it, but it happens. In most cases, I find that things are moved to PROTECT them. For example if one class is doing a messy project, the teacher moves the stuff to protect it, and then forgets to put it back before the other teacher notices, etc.

I think the teachers need to work it out and the aides need to keep their mouths closed. IMO an aide should never get too comfortable because you could be moved and be her aide next year.

I definitely know she will appreciate your apology and remember you as the most professional of the bunch.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have watched young, happy, teachers with awesome ideas come into a school system and make older teachers look pretty bad

Many older teachers feel threatened by fresh, non-complaining, wide eyed, spunky teachers. They should be

Many older teachers do not like younger teachers. They resort to put downs and eye rolls and shunning.

I feel badly for that new teacher

I hope you guys sit her down and lay it on thick about how very sorry you all are.

ETA-I am glad you apologized. The others should be ashamed.

Teacher cliques are the WORST! Get out of one if you are in it

Wonderfully said.

 

[Disney Doll]

I sure she went home and vented about what a bunch of nasty people she works with. I know I would have.

It was great of you to apologize. Reain profesisonal and don't worry about what the others do or don't do. Your behavior is all you can control and you did the right thing.

Learn the lesson from it too, and you'll be all set!