WWYD - dog dying

[czycropper]

Here's my dilemma - my neighbor's sister's dog is dying of cancer, she has literally been over at my neighbor's house with the dog, not working, watching the dog, she's not eating or sleeping, just sits there with the dog, she's wanting the whole family to be around her, including her boyfriend, she's refusing to put the dog down.....

I absolutely love these neighbors since they have has basically adopted us and invite us to all their family functions BUT I just don't know what to do as far as condolences.

My Dad passed away 3 weeks ago and I'm grieving but not the extent that she's grieving. My DH says she's nuts, it's a dog (& not a very nice dog because it growled and snipped at people), & we shouldn't do anything - I would like to send some fruit or something....

What would you do????

 

[npmommie]

I think you are nice to want to do something.
a card, maybe a small plant.
it may be "just a dog" to some people but to her it is a member of her family.
I can totally relate to where she is coming from for sure. btdt

fwiw, when our lab was dying of cancer, I had a hard time with the decision to put her to sleep. in the end we had to, it was just too painful to watch her suffer, and in reality we should have done it sooner than we did.
I know how hard that decision is to make, it is not one I want to make again.

So sorry about your dad

 

[cluvsdisney]

You are a better person then I. I couldn't imagine trying to comfort someone with a dying dog so soon after my father passed away.

In your shoes, I'd send her a card to let her know you are thinking about her. But if you want to do more a fruit basket would be very thoughtful.

I am very sorry about your father.

 

[LuvOrlando]

You have no idea what this woman's story is or why this animal means so much to her. Is her behavior unusual, yes, but that doesn't mean it's not real. I think your compassion is very kind. If you feel her pain is genuine then forget about whether this is a human or a pet, be there for your friend and do whatever you feel is appropriate given her circumstances. This is about the person grieving, to me nothing else mattersyou are a good friend.

Maybe you can cook her a meal?

Sorry about your Dad

 

[a1tinkfans]

I think you are nice to want to do something.
a card, maybe a small plant.
it may be "just a dog" to some people but to her it is a member of her family.
I can totally relate to where she is coming from for sure. btdt

fwiw, when our lab was dying of cancer, I had a hard time with the decision to put her to sleep. in the end we had to, it was just too painful to watch her suffer, and in reality we should have done it sooner than we did.
I know how hard that decision is to make, it is not one I want to make again.

So sorry about your dad

I agree and SO sorry about your dad

 

[Pea-n-Me]

So sorry about your father. I agree, you have a compassionate spirit to be concerned about this despite your own grief.

I also agree that animals mean different things to different people. To some, it is their family.

I had a neighbor that did this - could not put dying dog to sleep. I actually got a panicked call one morning while I was in my bathrobe sipping coffee to come over quickly, and got there just in time to watch the dog take his last breaths. They were actually making moves to take him to the vets but I told them to just comfort him, there wasn't time and if they did make it there, it would be futile and could possibly involve pain for the dog and needles, etc. It was really hard for them and they still talk about it to this day, years later.

You might suggest, if they're open to it, that today, vets can give the dog a sedative as if he's having surgery, then put the dog to sleep while he's "under". I did it that way with my last dog and will never do it another way again. They may have been with another pet in the past and seen it done the "usual" way and not want to go through that again, understandably. Euthanization can be a kindness, but not everyone can do it. I hope the dog isn't suffering.

Anyway, I think a nice card is all that's needed. That would mean a lot.

 

[WDSearcher]

PetSmart has cards made specifically for people grieving for their pets, so you may want to check that out.

I would send over a little "care package" -- some healthy snacks for the sister, maybe some juice or tea, and a soft blanket or something soothing for the dog. Doesn't have to be expensive -- a cheap fleece blanket or something.

 

[shortbun]

I think a card would be fine. Make a casserole and take it over for them to eat while they have their vigil. I have always felt it was kinder to my beloved pets to have them put to sleep when they were obviously dying but I try not to judge because people are just different. Good luck. Can you avoid participating other than a card and a casserole?
That way, they would know you cared and then you could proceed with your life.

My condolences on the death of your father. It's a hard thing to deal with. Find some peace.

 

[nathalee81]

So sorry about your father. I agree, you have a compassionate spirit to be concerned about this despite your own grief.

I also agree that animals mean different things to different people. To some, it is their family.

I had a neighbor that did this - could not put dying dog to sleep. I actually got a panicked call one morning while I was in my bathrobe sipping coffee to come over quickly, and got there just in time to watch the dog take his last breaths. They were actually making moves to take him to the vets but I told them to just comfort him, there wasn't time and if they did make it there, it would be futile and could possibly involve pain for the dog and needles, etc. It was really hard for them and they still talk about it to this day, years later.

You might suggest, if they're open to it, that today, vets can give the dog a sedative as if he's having surgery, then put the dog to sleep while he's "under". I did it that way with my last dog and will never do it another way again. They may have been with another pet in the past and seen it done the "usual" way and not want to go through that again, understandably. Euthanization can be a kindness, but not everyone can do it. I hope the dog isn't suffering.

Anyway, I think a nice card is all that's needed. That would mean a lot.

Czycropper-First, I am very sorry about your father.

Second, I think sending a card or a little thoughtful something could mean a lot to this person. We just lost our pup about two weeks ago and it meant the world to us that we had friends/family who seemed to understand how much of a loss this was to us. Our pup meant the world to us and was a family member.

Also, I agree with Pea N Me about the sedative before the euthanasia. We had to euthanize a pet kitty and it was awful-they didn't give him enough of the drug and he held on for 10 minutes and then they had to give him more and then the catheter fell out...finally about 20 minutes later the poor kitty was finally gone. With our pup, the vet suggested giving the sedative and then doing the euthanasia. Our pup went to sleep very peacefully, and then a couple of seconds later he was gone. It is less traumatic for our pup, and it made me feel a little better knowing he went so peacefully.

 

[disneyfreakk]

Very sorry for your loss.

That is very kind of you to want to comfort your friend. I think a card would be nice.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Here's my dilemma - my neighbor's sister's dog is dying of cancer, she has literally been over at my neighbor's house with the dog, not working, watching the dog, she's not eating or sleeping, just sits there with the dog, she's wanting the whole family to be around her, including her boyfriend, she's refusing to put the dog down.....

I absolutely love these neighbors since they have has basically adopted us and invite us to all their family functions BUT I just don't know what to do as far as condolences.

My Dad passed away 3 weeks ago and I'm grieving but not the extent that she's grieving. My DH says she's nuts, it's a dog (& not a very nice dog because it growled and snipped at people), & we shouldn't do anything - I would like to send some fruit or something....

What would you do????

It does not matter what I would do. If you want to send them something, just do it. I would probably just send a card.

Sorry about your father.

 

[dngnb8]

First

It isnt just a dog to her, and she is the one who is emoting. I know how she feels. Everyone grieves for one they lose or are losing differently. Dont project your thoughts on how she should act.

Best thing to do is be supportive.

Maybe a gift of the poem The Rainbow Bridge.

 

[Tink888]

Here's my dilemma - my neighbor's sister's dog is dying of cancer, she has literally been over at my neighbor's house with the dog, not working, watching the dog, she's not eating or sleeping, just sits there with the dog, she's wanting the whole family to be around her, including her boyfriend, she's refusing to put the dog down.....

I absolutely love these neighbors since they have has basically adopted us and invite us to all their family functions BUT I just don't know what to do as far as condolences.

My Dad passed away 3 weeks ago and I'm grieving but not the extent that she's grieving. My DH says she's nuts, it's a dog (& not a very nice dog because it growled and snipped at people), & we shouldn't do anything - I would like to send some fruit or something....

What would you do????

I'm sorry for you loss.

As for your friend's sister, a card is nice or a meal. Just being supportive and listening if you can is wonderful.

A person has to come to the decision to put a dog down on their own. She'll know when it's time and she'll know when the dog is about to go. Our dog died at home, the night before we scheduled the appointment to put him down. One thing I can tell you is that when an animal is ready to pass, they'll try to be alone. It's almost as if they know how heartbroken you'll be and they don't want to hurt their human.

As far as the loss of a pet, it's real and it's deep. I never understood it until I went through it. I grieved more over the loss of my dog than I did over the loss of my grandpa. That's not a statement of how little I loved my grandfather but just how very much I loved my dog and how big a part of my life he was.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Here's my dilemma - my neighbor's sister's dog is dying of cancer, she has literally been over at my neighbor's house with the dog, not working, watching the dog, she's not eating or sleeping, just sits there with the dog, she's wanting the whole family to be around her, including her boyfriend, she's refusing to put the dog down.....

I absolutely love these neighbors since they have has basically adopted us and invite us to all their family functions BUT I just don't know what to do as far as condolences.

My Dad passed away 3 weeks ago and I'm grieving but not the extent that she's grieving. My DH says she's nuts, it's a dog (& not a very nice dog because it growled and snipped at people), & we shouldn't do anything - I would like to send some fruit or something....

What would you do????

Let me offer my condolences on your father's passing, first.

I would do something to show you care, be it a card, a plant, fruit, a casserole, or whatever you think is right. Just honor her grieving.

 

[kinggoofy]

Unfortunately we just had to put our "son" down this past sunday. He had Lymphoma. It was diagnosed at the end of March thru a biopsy. He was 9. We felt the lumps for the 1st time at the end of February on his neck and in his throat.

This was the 2nd time we had to do this. We put our 1st "son" to rest in 2002. He was 13. We probably kept him around 4-6 weeks longer than we should have but we didnt know any better, it was our 1st time.

This time, we knew we would never let our pup suffer any longer than he had to. He did real well on his meds and prednisone throughout all of April but he took a turn for the worse last friday, the breathing and panting were just horrible and we knew he was now suffering.

The lymphoma had spread.

It sucks. I dont wish it on anyone. Time will heal and the tears of sadness will become tears of GREAT memories and laughter. We will get a new pup but not until after we take our vacation to WDW in August.

Its real when you see someone is torn over when to make the right decision to do whats best for their dog.

Today was better than yesterday, hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.

My heart goes out to all who have to make a decision on their pet. I was told 9 years ago by the vet...."who are you keeping the dog alive for, for him or for you ?"

As much as it hurts and it may be the hardest decision you may ever have to make, your pet is depending on you to do the right thing.

My thoughts to all who have to make this decision at some point.

When you hear people say...."it hurt me more to put my dog to sleep than it did to watch a family member die"....ITS REAL.

Please dont question them for feeling that way. Pets owners are a different "breed".

 

[dngnb8]

Unfortunately we just had to put our "son" down this past sunday.

Im so sorry. I know the loss you feel.


There are 2 different kind of people. Those who own pets, and those who adopt family. I refer to mine as my boys, not my dogs.

 

[kinggoofy]

Im so sorry. I know the loss you feel.


There are 2 different kind of people. Those who own pets, and those who adopt family. I refer to mine as my boys, not my dogs.

Thank you for your kind words. they are so true !!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I am sorry about your father.
You are very nice to be worrying about your neighbor in the wake of your own recent grief.

Do whatever you think they would like.

Putting our dog down was the hardest decision we ever had to make. For all the people saying "It's the best thing" and for all my logic knowing that we were doing the right thing for him by humanely ebding his suffering and being there with him when he died, it hurt like hell. 2nd worst day of my life, as a matter-of-fact.

After we put Ted own, people were very kind to us. We got a lot of sympathy cards...one I remember said "Surely suh a sweet soul will never be forgotten". It was so simple and yet so true.

I have gotten used to being without my dog, but I can tell you that right now, if I sat here and thought about it long enough, I could be in tears over his loss and he's been gone since October 2007.

 

[kinggoofy]

I am sorry about your father.
You are very nice to be worrying about your neighbor in the wake of your own recent grief.

Do whatever you think they would like.

Putting our dog down was the hardest decision we ever had to make. For all the people saying "It's the best thing" and for all my logic knowing that we were doing the right thing for him by humanely ebding his suffering and being there with him when he died, it hurt like hell. 2nd worst day of my life, as a matter-of-fact.

After we put Ted own, people were very kind to us. We got a lot of sympathy cards...one I remember said "Surely suh a sweet soul will never be forgotten". It was so simple and yet so true.

I have gotten used to being without my dog, but I can tell you that right now, if I sat here and thought about it long enough, I could be in tears over his loss and he's been gone since October 2007.

We have already gotten a few cards from caring friends. I heard a phrase when I was young and it stuck with me forever....

"If he is in your heart and in your mind, he will be with you forever."
So true !!!!!

 

[NCPirate]

We just went through this monday with our 13 yo yellow lab. It feels impossible to function and get back to normal. It's horrible!