WWYD- coat stained at school harvest festival?

[TotalSnowWhite]

OP, I totally understand, but this is definitely a "live and learn" experience...

Just kidding!! Are you tired of hearing that yet?

I just wanted to echo to Awesome cleaner suggestion!! I had no expectations since it cost $1, but darn it if that stuff didn't make my bags look like new! I used it to get stains out of one of my Coach totes and my Hello Kitty suitcase (after it had been to NYC and back...those were some horrid stains!!). It's also a great carpet spot remover!!

I only read the first few replies because I'm dumbfounded! First, congrats to all of you who are weathly enough to have multiple coats for your children. This may come as a shock to you, but there are those of us who buy our children one coat (and one pair of shoes, and one backpack, and one lunchbox, etc.) and need those items to last throughout the year.

I believe the OP mentioned it was a $60 coat. That can easily buy two coats. It was her choice to buy one (and one lighter jacket, I believe), not an issue of "wealth." We're not "wealthy" (yet ), but DS has five or six winter coats, three from last year and two new ones (dress coat and play coat). I'm a bargain hunter. I got one for next winter this summer for, if I remember correctly, $5.99.

It is the job of teachers and others who plan activities to use common sense. Parents need to be warned ahead of time about potentially messy activities.

At DS's pre-school, it's in the parent handbook that our children are learning through play and will get messy. The OP also saw that it was a messy activity before the mess took place, I believe. Our school has a collection of donated coats and other clothing items(outgrown, lost and found, etc.) that are available if a child isn't dressed appropriately. Maybe she (or anyone else who may find themselves in this situation) could have used one of those (if available)? The only condition is that the parents wash and return if used.

I also have a backpack for DS with two full outfits (and a pair of shoes) in case he should need them for whatever reason. It stays at school.

 

[shelby101301]

I think it's totally within your right to complain. I too try and make clothing last as long as possible.

Kudos to those teachers out there trying to come up with creative ways for our children to learn! I know I appreciate it when my kids come home covered in something grinning ear to ear! LOL But I do send my preschoolers to school in clothing that can get paint or play doh or whatever else the teachers can dream up. I love dressing my dd in cute dresses, but I save that for non school days. I want my kids to be creative and make a mess school - absolutely!

But outside is a different story. They do need coats, and coats (and snowpants, and boots and hats and mittens etc) are expensive! I think more common sense should have been used.

So complain - in a constructive way - but I don't think reimbursement is going to happen. But they do need to know that what they did ruined expensive clothing and the activity or media should be re-thought.

 

[rbork]

I'm with the OP and my DS"s both get LLbean coats! In fact mine were over 99$ regularly and on sale for about 60$. They are getting they're 2 nd and 3 yr out of em. They are also alittle older and understand better on how the keep there items decent especially considering I spend my hardearned $ on them. However when they were in the early grades of pre k thru 2nd gr? I sent them with the 30$ Kmart coats. Those jackets would get so filthy.
I'd be washing them all the time...zippers would wear out etc...
That's why I still buy dark colored shoes and dark colored coats.
Yeah, I'd be frustrated and would probably stop in or write a nice letter highlightling your concerns about the activity. And that either to avoid this activity or modify the activity next year in order to reduce parent complaints. You could make several suggestions in order to improve the activity etc.... I don't think your out of line- just giving the school some feedback on the activity. And reasonable people will take consideration.

p.s. I started a thread on another board previously and experienced mixed responses too. I was shocked when I was put on the defensive so quickly. I don't post very frequently because of that.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

p.s. I started a thread on another board previously and experienced mixed responses too. I was shocked when I was put on the defensive so quickly. I don't post very frequently because of that.

I think when people ask for opinions on what they should do, they're really looking for reassurance they're doing the right thing (that they've decided on already). They're a little taken aback when people see it differently.



So, it's Monday, and OP (even though you wanted it closed, I know you've got to still be reading this!! ), let us know how it went.

 

[famofsix]

it has nothing to do with the cost of the coat but everything to do with the fact that the parents were not notified ahead of time to send old clothes for a planned outside messy activity. It is an appropriate coat not an evening gown she sent her kid to school in.

It is live and learn for both the school and for the OP. OP came here to vent and for good reason because as she stated earlier in the thread even the teacher felt this activity was poorly planned.

 

[Kit'smommy]

I am really surprised by the tone of most of the responses to the OP. I have lurked on this board for years and these are some of the most unfair responses I have seen on here.

My child goes to preschool and has one coat for the year. If he damaged it on the playground, I would not be upset. However, if it were damaged in a similar fashion as the OP's child's coat, I would be furious.

I send my little one to school in play clothes, but would expect for him to have his coat removed for any potentially damaging activity such as painting. I believe it is a perfectly reasonable expectation for a parent to think that a more expensive and harder to clean item is not going to get trashed. It doesn't take a great deal of forsight on the part of the school to see that children + paint + heavy coats = a huge mess. And the fact that the OP was present is completely beside the point. The activity was the issue.

I would complain to the office to make sure that this activity is either not repeated or is repeated in a controlled environment where a winter coat is not needed.

 

[heartsy77]

I'm with the OP and my DS"s both get LL bean coats! In fact mine were over 99$ regularly and on sale for about 60$. They are getting they're 2 nd and 3 yr out of em. They are also a little older and understand better on how the keep there items decent especially considering I spend my hardearned $ on them. However when they were in the early grades of pre k thru 2nd gr? I sent them with the 30$ Kmart coats. Those jackets would get so filthy.
I'd be washing them all the time...zippers would wear out etc...
That's why I still buy dark colored shoes and dark colored coats.
Yeah, I'd be frustrated and would probably stop in or write a nice letter highlighting your concerns about the activity. And that either to avoid this activity or modify the activity next year in order to reduce parent complaints. You could make several suggestions in order to improve the activity etc.... I don't think your out of line- just giving the school some feedback on the activity. And reasonable people will take consideration.

p.s. I started a thread on another board previously and experienced mixed responses too. I was shocked when I was put on the defensive so quickly. I don't post very frequently because of that.

I just wanted to tell you that don't be surprised if it happens again even when your kids are older. My DD (12) got this weird glue all over the hood of her COLUMBIA coat lat year in art. I know at this age they don't send home notes, but Columbia coats are really expensive! I really bothered me for a while and then I decided it was not really worth stressing over. IMHO wait till after Xmas when all the winter coats are 1/2 price and buy her a new one if it bothers you that much. Life it too short to spend so much time worrying; girls will give many years of heart ache about clothes anyway! Save your angst for the teenage years!

 

[Kit'smommy]

I am really surprised by the tone of most of the responses to the OP. I have lurked on this board for years and these are some of the most unfair responses I have seen on here.

My child goes to preschool and has one coat for the year. If he damaged it on the playground, I would not be upset. However, if it were damaged in a similar fashion as the OP's child's coat, I would be furious.

I send my little one to school in play clothes, but would expect for him to have his coat removed for any potentially damaging activity such as painting. I believe it is a perfectly reasonable expectation for a parent to think that a more expensive and harder to clean item is not going to get trashed. It doesn't take a great deal of forsight on the part of the school to see that children + paint + heavy coats = a huge mess. And the fact that the OP was present is completely beside the point. The activity was the issue.

I would complain to the office to make sure that this activity is either not repeated or is repeated in a controlled environment where a winter coat is not needed.

 

[Cindy F]

I think when people ask for opinions on what they should do, they're really looking for reassurance they're doing the right thing (that they've decided on already). They're a little taken aback when people see it differently..

I disagree, I think when people ask for "What would you do?" They expect just that.....an answer from other posters on what they would do in that situation , not a bunch of harpies trying to shame them by telling them it's their fault, stop whining, they're upset about the wrong thing, and yada yada. What does all that have to do with a stained coat and whether or not they should complain to the office?

The OP asked "what would you do-complain to the office?" She did NOT ask, Do you think I was at fault? Do you think I'm whining? Do you think I'm a good mother? Do you think I have common sense? Can everyone please judge me and tell me everything I did wrong in this situation, how all my feelings are wrong, how dumb it is to buy a $60 coat and any other thing anyone would like to jump on to make me feel worse over a bad situation?

Yes, there are some really good posts with a yes or no to the office question and a non-judgmental reason of why or why not and some great suggestions to either get the stain out or camouflage it but there are also other posts that are very condescending and snotty---that's what people get upset over-not the fact that someone is disagreeing with them.

I just don't understand it. It was obvious by the post that she was really upset, needed to vent, and some support. They're her feelings folks and she has every right to them, you can't tell someone their feelings are wrong. Why would anyone want to make her feel worse? You can offer a differing opinion and suggestions without a personal attack on someone and without agreeing with them.
I think people do this kind of "internet attack" thing because they have pent up frustrations and it's easier to just ambush someone posting on a forum than to confront their own issues in real life. IMHO.

I apologize for the soapbox but I feel horrible for the OP, she came on here to somehow feel better about this and she was made to feel worse. I too wish the moderators would lock or better yet just delete this whole thread.

PS: Why would the poster update and let anyone know how it was going or if she got the stain out?

 

[mickeyboat]

I would not be happy, but I also would not go to the office and complain. I think the school understands now that the painting outside was not a good idea. I don't see what good going to the office is going to do.

I live in Vermont and I always buy very expensive and warm winter clothing for my kids. I have also learned over the years that their clothing will not look very nice at the end of the year, especially after mud season. It isn't easy, but I try really hard to buy dark colored items for my girls. I do this because I expect their stuff to get stained.

Denae

 

[penn19]

I would be upset if my child painted with their coat on. My problem with this story is that you were present when it happened. I would accept the fact that I didn't correct the situation when I had the chance and keep trying to clean it.

ding,ding,ding, ding........I totally agree! I feel OP's frustration, and not to dump on OP or anything but you would have had more of a case if you had dropped your child off and came back and that was the situation. But if you are present and it happens?

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

I disagree, I think when people ask for "What would you do?" They expect just that.....an answer from other posters on what they would do in that situation , not a bunch of harpies trying to shame them by telling them it's their fault, stop whining, they're upset about the wrong thing, and yada yada. What does all that have to do with a stained coat and whether or not they should complain to the office?

The OP asked "what would you do-complain to the office?" She did NOT ask, Do you think I was at fault? Do you think I'm whining? Do you think I'm a good mother? Do you think I have common sense? Can everyone please judge me and tell me everything I did wrong in this situation, how all my feelings are wrong, how dumb it is to buy a $60 coat and any other thing anyone would like to jump on to make me feel worse over a bad situation?

Yes, there are some really good posts with a yes or no to the office question and a non-judgmental reason of why or why not and some great suggestions to either get the stain out or camouflage it but there are also other posts that are very condescending and snotty---that's what people get upset over-not the fact that someone is disagreeing with them.

I just don't understand it. It was obvious by the post that she was really upset, needed to vent, and some support. They're her feelings folks and she has every right to them, you can't tell someone their feelings are wrong. Why would anyone want to make her feel worse? You can offer a differing opinion and suggestions without a personal attack on someone and without agreeing with them.
I think people do this kind of "internet attack" thing because they have pent up frustrations and it's easier to just ambush someone posting on a forum than to confront their own issues in real life. IMHO.

I apologize for the soapbox but I feel horrible for the OP, she came on here to somehow feel better about this and she was made to feel worse. I too wish the moderators would lock or better yet just delete this whole thread.

PS: Why would the poster update and let anyone know how it was going or if she got the stain out?

Do you really expect a thread full of "Yes, I would"s or "No, I wouldn't"s when you ask a question? Really? If you've posted, read, lurked...whatever on this board, then you know people are always going to offer up suggestions, anecdotes, criticism, etc. when asked. You did, too, just now. That's what happens when you put your business on a public forum.

This is also one of the more civil posts I've seen when teachers are involved. They're a feisty group!! I know, I am one!

Lighten up, your day will be much better!

 

[TwistofLemon]

Painting outside in winter coats with kindergartners? STUPID idea on the teacher's part. I would complain so they don't do it again. Yes you go to school to play and learn, but painting in a bulky winter jacket and painting in sleeves that CAN be rolled up are completely different.

Exactly.

 

[perriwinkleblue]

Oh my, such a heated discussion!

I agree with kit'smommy and if it were my daughter's coat, I'd be mad, too. Kids grow fast and I, for one, don't have a closet full of disposable "play" coats. Most of my kid's coats are outgrown before they are worn out and are donated at the beginning of each season so someone else can use them. It's cold here in the fall and winter so my daughter wears a good quality, warm coat for school. Of course she plays in it but I don't expect it to receive anything other than normal wear and tear.

IMHO, kids do messy, creative things sometimes, but the parents should have been notified to send the child in with either an old coat, layers of old clothes or something that covers the coat like an old adult log sleeve shirt. It's not acceptable to have a child's winter coat ruined by a poorly planned activity. I'm sure lots of other kids went home with ruined clothes. At the very least, the school should be aware of what happened and make sure it would be handled better in the future.

 

[Cindy F]

Do you really expect a thread full of "Yes, I would"s or "No, I wouldn't"s when you ask a question? Really?

I'm sorry you didn't understand my post.

This is also one of the more civil posts I've seen when teachers are involved. They're a feisty group!! I know, I am one!

I didn't know teachers were known for not being civil to others. Nurses- yes, (mainly to each other, hence the phrase "nurses eat their young"), teachers no ~grin~

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

I'm sorry you didn't understand my post.



I didn't know teachers were known for not being civil to others. Nurses- yes, (mainly to each other, hence the phrase "nurses eat their young"), teachers no ~grin~

Chalk it up to those parents (not that OP is one of them, but the teachers know what I'm talking about ), low pay and education budget cuts. Of course, I didn't see that anyone (who identified themselves as a teacher) was uncivil (or mention that teachers were uncivil to others)...sorry you didn't understand their posts.

Again, relax a bit. It's not a big deal, just a little internet debate.

 

[krismom]

Personally, I like it when my kids come home with signs of "creativity" on them! OK- usually it's just pizza sauce- but when it's paint, markers, moonsand, OObleck (that cool stuff they make with corn starch and water) or anything else- I am not the least bit bothered by the extra stain removal efforts!

 

[dzorn]

Yes OP I would also complain to the office. The planners of the activity need the feed back to change/enhance/cancel it for next year.

Parents should have been informed that painting was going to be happening in the winter coats. Even if DD class was informed they were painting I would never expect it to be in coats outside. That is such a bed idea on so many levels.

Paint does not usually dry well in cold weather so this was not thought out well from the beginning.

Without feed back improvements cannot be made. The OP said she volunteered regularly at the school then by her reputation the school would know she is only concerned with enhancing the school environment and activities.

OP good luck trying to get the stain out. Though we can afford Disney vacation we do it by being frugal with our money. DD has one coat why waste money on two when it is not necessary, if common sense was used the child would not have paint on a winter coat. Common sense is not so common anymore.

Denise in MI

 

[*pixie*dust*]

Personally I would not say anything. 5 year olds get messy. Paint is messy. School is messy. Not saying it wouldn't be irritating but stains are inevitable.

I do agree with the people that said consider taking the coat to a drycleaner as they may be able to remove the stains for you.

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

While I can understand the idea that this is *the* winter coat for the year, not *a* winter coat, I have to echo other posters comments that kids need to be sent to school knowing they might get dirty. If that means next year that instead of a $60 LL Bean coast, they get a play one from Kmart and a nice one from Penny's then so be it. I think a note home would have been nice, but I think my general take on things is kids will get dirty (even doing things you's swear there was no way they could get dirty doing it), prepare accordingly.

Ress

Not the OP, but I know I have purchased every coat under the sun...target, pennys, sears. I will never buy another...its LL Bean or nothing. Not because I am snobby and my kids need the cool clothes, but because the others have all been falling apart or poorly made. LL Bean lasts, and you spend the money because you know you will get 1-2 years out of them.