WOW! I think we're out of control! How much do you spend?

[SaraJayne]

We could easily do it too, but still unless you have little ones at home or other thing (charities, etc.) to keep you busy, there is no reason not to work. DW loved not working, but once DD was in school I found it unacceptable. Fortunately, DW decided to go to massage school and now makes good money for working part time. The point of my original post was make sure the spouse that will remain working is on-board before trying to figure out how you can make it work on one income. If they are and you can make it work, great! In my case, DW would love to quit tomorrow, but I would never agree to that without a good reason.

Lucky for me, my DH doesn't find it "unacceptable". And that is all that matters to me.

 

[ssawka]

Lucky for me, my DH doesn't find it "unacceptable". And that is all that matters to me.

As it should be! My original post was meant to be tounge-in-cheek, but I guess I hit a sore spot with some of the PPs. We all have our reasons for the things we do and we do not need to explain ourselves to anyone. I just know plenty of spouses who feel that they can stay at home just because their spouse makes a good salary. DW was like that for a long time. As I said, I had no problem with it when DD was young, but she tried to be a SAHS before we were even considering having children and then again after DD went to school all day. Most people do not particularly like working, I know I would prefer to stay at home. Unfortunately, for me that will never be an option!

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

I decided to go look at my bank account online and add up how much money we have spent on eating out :-/ We are a very busy family, we have 2 young adult children who both work, and a 6 yr old who keeps us busy. I also run a daycare out of my home and we had a litter of 9 pups 6 weeks ago! Needless to say, Im a walking zombie. So we find ourselves saying, lets just get subs, or Mc Donald's, etc.... The number that I saw looking back at me was shocking, and this doesn't even count the times when we paid cash! So here it is....

Since March 2012 we have spent $1536.28 on eating out!!!

OMG, this is coming to an end! I could have bought our airfare by now!

What do you guys think you spend on eating out?

It is crazy how much dining out can add up! Especially when paying for a family rather than just yourself. I find that we end up spending $300 or more per month and that is only eating out a few times! It adds up if you want to have dinner at a sit-down restaurant and it always seems we have some sort of celebration or out of town visitors. We do use coupons and happy hours (many have happy hour food deals). We are scaling back again though to spend only $150 per month but that is only one sit-down dinner, one pizza delivery, and 2 quick food meals, even with coupons - it's not a lot for a family of 4. I don't want to give up dining out altogether though. Sometimes I just need a break from cooking and cleaning! And we have the best family dinners at a sit down restaurant since no one is concerned about cooking and cleaning or other distractions at the house.

 

[DOREEN1779]

Many husbands do not find it "unacceptable". I am a stay at home mom, but my kids are in 2nd and 4th grade. I currently volunteer at their school 2 days a week (approx. 6-8 hours a week), which will increase as the year goes on. I am also the room mom for DD. Last year I pulled double duty as room mom which was a lot of work! I have considered getting a part time job, but DH does not want me to get a job that will require me to work any evenings or any weekends. I would need summers off and since he works for the Dept. of Defense, I would need holidays off, as well. Not a lot of jobs out there that meet those requirements, so I stay at home. I looked into getting a job at the kids' school, but there really wasn't anything that was appealing. If I needed to get a job, I would, but since I don't, I won't. It works for us, but not for everyone. I certainly place no judgement on anyone else's situation. It is no one else's business why some people stay home and some don't.

I agree. Same scenerio add one more. It is all about what works for each family and what is important to that family.

 

[crisi]

We could easily do it too, but still unless you have little ones at home or other thing (charities, etc.) to keep you busy, there is no reason not to work. DW loved not working, but once DD was in school I found it unacceptable. Fortunately, DW decided to go to massage school and now makes good money for working part time. The point of my original post was make sure the spouse that will remain working is on-board before trying to figure out how you can make it work on one income. If they are and you can make it work, great! In my case, DW would love to quit tomorrow, but I would never agree to that without a good reason.

I've worked since my kids were little and am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. By they are middle schoolers now and I've seriously considered taking a couple of years and staying home. There is no after school care, so they have more opportunities for unsupervised trouble. I spend a lot of time in the car, making a huge impact in my ability to do my job, because they now need to be driven everywhere. I'm taking time off for orthodontist appointments, school conferences. I get home and then we do two hours of homework a night. I think that there is more value in taking home with them now than back when they were happy in daycare or before or after school care.

At the same time, we spent their younger years saving. If I stop contributing to a 401k now, I make more in gains every year (well, not 2008) than I contribute. They have enought in 529/ to spend four years living in a dorm in a public school (and I have enought outside of 529s that we could go private). The mortgage is paid off.

I could drop out of the job market now, and come back in a less intense role in six years when they leave for college.

 

[Granny square]

Lol, so happy not to have a husband who feels it is his right to tell me what I should or should not do. That is beyond screwed up. I can't imagine one person having all the power in the family.

 

[MapleGirl]

DH and I love to eat out. Our weekly budget is $60 but we usually come in under that. Lately we've been getting breakfast on either Saturday or Sunday and going to the Texas Roadhouse for the $7.99 early bird maybe once a week. We also love to shop and do home improvements. For everything that is not a scheduled bill or food we have a $200/week budget. I'm thinking of combining the two budgets so that $200 must cover shopping, home stuff and eating out. OT, but our weekly grocery budget is $100. We could do less but we are both on the Primal Diet and try to eat organic whole foods and grass-fed/free range meats and dairy. It adds up pretty fast!

ETA: Back in January we started bringing out own coffee and lunches to work. That has been great for the budget and diets!

 

[Dizisfun]

Lol, so happy not to have a husband who feels it is his right to tell me what I should or should not do. That is beyond screwed up. I can't imagine one person having all the power in the family.

HAHAHA, if there was a like button I would have "liked" this...

 

[ssawka]

Lol, so happy not to have a husband who feels it is his right to tell me what I should or should not do. That is beyond screwed up. I can't imagine one person having all the power in the family.

You are absolutely correct! It needs to be a mutual decision. The same would be true if DW just up and decided to quit her job without discussing it as a couple. That would not show being a responsible "partner". We should all be free to make our own decisions, but when you are married important decisions need to be made as a couple with buy-in from both sides. I wonder what DW's reaction would be if I just unilaterally decided that I didn't want to work anymore?