wow, I really dont know what to feel right now...

[binny]

Today at Church I saw some old family friends, people I hadnt seen in 20 years. They were friends of my dad and moms. They Pastored together for a few years and just were wonderful people. I have such great memories of them from when I was 9 or 10. it didnt really hit me when I saw her but when I saw him, he looked exactly the same as I remember him. He hasnt changed at all ( he is in his 60's now) He brought up my dad right away and said it was such a shock when he died. He told me how fond he was he was of him and how much he missed him. I think he could see I was about to cry so he quickly moved on to something else but it got me to thinking so much about my dad. It was so wonderful to see these people that I hadnt seen in so long, they were like family to me when I was little, but at the same time it just really made me think how things
could have been. '

I was doing so well this year too.

Why do the Holidays have to be so hard when we miss someone?

 

[faith]

Hugs to you Binny. Holidays can really be tough. I should be finishing up around here to get ready for the kids and grandkids to come over on the 24th. But no motivation today...too blue.

 

[binny]

hugs to you too Faith I guess we can always lean on each other to get through can't we?

 

[leahannpen]

Oh man do I know how you feel. This is only the second Christmas without my dad. And get this twist.....

my step mom now lives with one of my dad's oldest friends. A man who, when we were children, used to dress up and play santa for us. How akward is that? They claim there is nothing "going on"... if you get my drift, but I'm privy to some "inside" info and know that is just not the case. I feel so odd when I go over there, as I still keep in touch with my step mom. I'm really not sure how to feel. I know she must get on with her life, but it's still a strange feeling. He's lived there for almost a year now.

All I can tell you is, keep him in your thoughts, as even though he isn't here physically, I'm sure his spirit lives on in all your wonderful memories. My dad sure does!

(((hugs)))

Leah

 

[binny]

yikes Leah that would be really hard!

I dont think I would know how to deal that at all.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Oh Binny, I know how you feel. Although I lost my dad when I was 11, I still miss him so very much (I am 29 now) and even more so around the holidays. He enjoyed Christmas so much. Behind his gruff exterior he was a teddy bear inside once you got to know him. I spend a lot of time crying during the holiday season (and even throughout the year) because I miss him. However for me, it helps to talk about him. My mom won't ever bring him up and that hurts more than talking about my dad and remembering. The memories are good, even the memories of him being sick, which brought so many positive changes to our whole family. The Lord was working, and His works are often mysterious.

Peace and comfort to you during this holiday season.

 

[JerseyJanice]

This is a nice thread to read, Binny.

I know exactly what you're going through. One of my friend's husbands whom I don't see frequently (I see my friend all the time, but not her DH), always talks about my parents when I do see him. And I always get choked up.

Glad you got to see some old and dear friends. {{{hugs}}}

 

[tc]

I am so sorry you all have such heartache during the holidays. I have not lost a close relative, so I don't know how you're feeling. But I will pray for you all. I am not close to my family at all, but I can't imagine life w/o them. It has to be so much harder if you've lost someone you had such a good relationship with.

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you, Binny, during this hard time. And know that I am praying for your during the holidays.

 

[4greatboys]

When I am with my mil and someone talks about losing a loved one she feels the need to tell these ppl--most I barely know--that I lost my mom 3 yrs back. I cannot talk about or hear about it without crying. These ppl are atleast sensitive enough to see the tears welling up in my eyes and they just say sorry and drop it. I dont know my mil cant catch the clue I dont want to discuss it with all the time with everyone we come across.

 

[snoopy]

{{{hugs}}} Binny.

Everyone handles these things differently. I am the opposite, I love talking about the memories of my parents, and when I meet someone I haven't seen in a while, I welcome the chance to talk about my parents. I think its because they both are gone, and with them they left important details that us kids did not know about. So I think of these friends of my parents, or colleagues, or whatever, as a link to my past, sort of.

I'm sorry you are feeling so blue. I hope you can find a way to remember the happy times with your father, I know how hard it can be when your heart is still broken and your emotions still raw.

 

[ead79]

{{{HUGS}}} for you, binny. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it all better.

 

[wdw4us]

I know how you feel, my mom died Christmas day in 85 and the holiday is always hard. I put it behind me for my children and try not to dwell. I have my one moment during the holiday season where I lose it so I can well understand your feelings.

Now as far as the dating thing. My dad was never alone in his life and had no desire to have to fend for himself. He left about 2 weeks after my mother died and when to CA to see his 2 sisters for a month. When he came home a mutual friend introduced him to Alice. They started to date in March. Yes, less than 6 months after my mother died. She was a very nice woman and treated my father great and he had a friend to confide in. She wanted nothing more than companionship and a dancing partner and my dad wanted a shoulder to cry on.

My father was devoted to my mom and took excellent care for her at home when she should’ve been in a nursing home. For the last 3 months she was paralized. He had very little help but did a great job. I welcomed Alice into our family. They were together for 13 years. He died in July of 99 and then the following February she passed. People often asked me how I felt about the situation, I told them the same as I’m telling you. He deserved to be happy again.

I miss them all now but again, I have my children to think of, I’ll lose it on another day…

denise