Would you...

[KJSJpipe]

We did this a few years ago and our kids where probably about the same age as the OP's kids.
We stayed at AKL Jambo House and went to dinner at Jikko for our Anniversary. We took the kids to the food court so they could get their dinner and dessert to eat in our room. We left them in the room with instructions on what to do in an emergency and what they were and were not allowed to do. DD had a cell phone and we both had ours, they also knew how to use the room phone.
We had a great dinner and the kids thought they were super cool.

 

[Firebug]

We have done exactly this on many occasions with our daughters when they were that age and even a bit younger. They are now 19 and 17 years old. However, we would not even think for one single second to allow the same thing with our son who is now 10. He just would not handle it at all nor do I believe that he would be able to handle it for years to come. It depends greatly on the individual.

FB

 

[BEASLYBOO]

It completely depends on the maturity level of the kids, but yes, when my kids were that age I would have comfortably left them alone in the room for a couple of hours.

Couldn't have said it any better! With cell phones etc., I've allowed my son some freedom to run around with a friend or two in the resort! Just a quick phone call away and he was always very responsible, so no worries!

Now 16, I worry more about his whereabouts than I did at 10-12!

 

[DisneyStarWisher]

Sounds like I'm in the minority but I would never leave my kids unattended in a hotel room by themselves. But then again I wouldn't be in that position because I would never choose to go on a family vacation and then dump the kids so I could go to dinner alone. Different strokes for different folks.

Although I have never done a date night with my DH on a family vacation, it's only because our vacations are usually fairly short and my kids enjoy the signatures as much as I do. But I would NOT consider it "dumping" my kids if I did it! OP, do NOT feel guilty for wanting to do this. I have learned over the past couple of years how important it is to spend alone time with your spouse, and what better place to do it than at a nice restaurant away from home. When adults put time into their relationships, everyone in the family will be much happier.

 

[spruce]

No

 

[a742246]

I wouldn't do it on the first couple of nights (they would have too much energy) of our vacation but afterwards if the kids are ok with it I say go for it.

 

[ercrbc]

I dream of the day our vacation includes 'dumping' my kids in the room and enjoying a dinner out with my DH, lol. I have a 7, 4 and 1yo so we are a ways off. I am thinking when oldest DD is about 12 and youngest is 6 I will be totally okay with it.

I am my oldest DD's Girl Scout Troop leader. We are working on our safety badge and had a police officer come talk to the girls last night. He talked to the girls (ages 7 to 11) about safety when they are alone. He went through how to call 911, what an emergency is, how to stay safe in different dangerous/scary situations. He seemed to think 8-10 is an appropriate age for children to be left alone, but helped teach them how to stay safe when no adults are close by.

I just thought I would mention that as I agree it depends on the child, but many kids are mature enough by age 10 to be left alone for a couple hrs.

 

[crisi]

Sounds like I'm in the minority but I would never leave my kids unattended in a hotel room by themselves. But then again I wouldn't be in that position because I would never choose to go on a family vacation and then dump the kids so I could go to dinner alone. Different strokes for different folks.

I'm pretty much the opposite - unless your kids are special needs or have behavioral problems, by ten and twelve mine had better be able to spend two hours in a hotel room alone (and did). If they can't do that at twelve - with cell phones and at Disney, which is a relatively safe place, and in a hotel room designed to be pretty child safe - how are they going to ever go to college at eighteen and live in a dorm? How are they going to manage a Spring Break trip with their friends in college? Are they going to be the only ones staying at home for the middle school overnight? The Senior Trip? You have five years between twelve and eighteen to get them ready to be adults - it won't happen magically on their eighteenth birthday and if it doesn't happen in baby steps, they are going to not be ready and miss out on some of the life experiences that make tween and teen years.

As for the family vacation, we spend time both as a family and as individuals and as subunits - its part of being a family - for the kids to understand that Mom and Dad do Mom and Dad things. And since we spend time as a family all year long, we don't need 24 hour a day togetherness on vacation.

 

[stitch1094]

I think this is a rude and condescending post. My guess is that, if we were to explore your life, there are many things that we would disagree with, too.

As for me, this will be the first year that we would consider leaving the kids in the room, although we have left them alone at home many times while we dash out food shopping and running errands. My sons will be ages 13 and 12. The older one is very, very responsible. We are going on a 2-week trip which will be one of 2 trips to Disney in the same calendar year. If we wanted to slip out for a dinner, I wouldn't consider it to be "dumping" my kids. In fact, after being together staying in a studio for 2 weeks, perhaps the time apart for a couple hours would be good for all of us.

Wow. OK. I'm sure there is. OP asked a question. I answered. Maybe the word dumping wasnt the best choice but IMO I would not leave minors alone in a hotel room. Sorry if my answer wasn't what everyone wanted to hear.

 

[stitch1094]

A little un-trusting, are we?

As a side note , I think using the word "dumping" is fairly inflammatory given the context of the discussion, as it and the rest to the paragraph intonates the parents on this board are irresponsible. Maybe a different set of words to explain the same idea, or is this description accurate.

As for myself, I would most definitely allow our DD at 12 year old to stay in the room alone, as well as roam around the resort with his/her sibling/friend. If they wanted to hit the arcade, activity room, nightly beach movie, etc then I would let them go by themselves, especially if we gave them a cell phone.

How else will they learn to be independent if they can't be trusted to wander around a Disney World resort unattended, which is likely safer than your neighborhood? Shoot, I used to watch my 5-6 year old brother when I was 7-8 years old after school, walking to/from school to boot! I think parents are a bit more over protective these days (myself included to a degree).

Actually, yes I am un-trusting. In today's world where you have teachers, religious leaders, neighbors etc who take advantage of kids its better to be untrusting. Maybe dumping wasnt the best choice but leaving kids alone in a hotel room, to me, is irresponsible. And really, letting a kid roam with a cell phone does what exactly? Do you except a young kid who might be in trouble to remain calm and collected enough to call for help? Most adults can't do that. There are many ways for kids to learn to be independent. I think leaving them alone in a hotel room isnt one of them.

 

[stitch1094]

I'm pretty much the opposite - unless your kids are special needs or have behavioral problems, by ten and twelve mine had better be able to spend two hours in a hotel room alone (and did). If they can't do that at twelve - with cell phones and at Disney, which is a relatively safe place, and in a hotel room designed to be pretty child safe - how are they going to ever go to college at eighteen and live in a dorm? How are they going to manage a Spring Break trip with their friends in college? Are they going to be the only ones staying at home for the middle school overnight? The Senior Trip? You have five years between twelve and eighteen to get them ready to be adults - it won't happen magically on their eighteenth birthday and if it doesn't happen in baby steps, they are going to not be ready and miss out on some of the life experiences that make tween and teen years.

As for the family vacation, we spend time both as a family and as individuals and as subunits - its part of being a family - for the kids to understand that Mom and Dad do Mom and Dad things. And since we spend time as a family all year long, we don't need 24 hour a day togetherness on vacation.

Comparing a 12 year old to an 18 year old is interesting. Are you saying we should start teaching a 12 year old to drive because if they cant figure it out by 12 then they wont have a chance at 18? How about calculus? I fail to see how leaving a 12 year old unattended in a hotel room relates to how an 18 year old will manage in college. I would certainly hope that at 18 you would be be more responsible and mature than at 12. I also fail to see how leaving a kid alone in a hotel room is this fantastic life lesson. Maybe I have lived a sheltered life but my parents never left me alone in a hotel room. My wife's parents never left her alone either and I am proud to say that I have never even thought of leaving my kids alone in a hotel room. Like I said, different strokes for different folks.

 

[honeymo78]

I see nothing wrong with what you want to do.

By 12 I was touring parts of WDW alone and without a cell phone. I was also babysitting the neighbor kids alone. I was responsible for my younger brother after school. At 18 I went to WDW with my 12 year old brother and no parents. We didn't spend the trip together all the time and my mom knew it. I went to pleasure island most nights and my brother stayed at the resort swimming or playing in the arcade. We did our own things in the parks but ate meals together at a minimum.

My brother and I turned out just fine and really appreciated and valued the independence we had as kids.

 

[LSchrow]

Actually, yes I am un-trusting. In today's world where you have teachers, religious leaders, neighbors etc who take advantage of kids its better to be untrusting. Maybe dumping wasnt the best choice but leaving kids alone in a hotel room, to me, is irresponsible. And really, letting a kid roam with a cell phone does what exactly? Do you except a young kid who might be in trouble to remain calm and collected enough to call for help? Most adults can't do that. There are many ways for kids to learn to be independent. I think leaving them alone in a hotel room isnt one of them.

yes, i would expect our preteens would call (especially, since they call for every other thing). however, our experiences differ: most adults i know would (and have) use their cellphone when they need help.
i understand your perspective, and that might work for you and yours (we also don't know what or if there are experiences/perspectives that made you feel that way).
in general tho, i agree that the majority of preteens want and need that small level of trust and independence...their parents will most likely not be there to moniter the first time they encounter drugs, an offer for a ride where the driver is drunk, etc.
imho, a little bit of trust (especially in a controlled situation, with preteens such as OP described) will helps give kids the confidence to make the right decisions even when mom & dad aren't there.

 

[mjc2003]

I personally would not, but these are very personal decisions, and are especially specific to the individual child, so I'm not sure I would ever base my decision on what somebody else does. I would certainly agree that some children at age 12 are much more capable than others, and in an environment like WDW one would assume things are quite safe.
If you do leave them alone, I would consider taking the keys to emphasize to them that they will be locked out if they leave.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

 

[BEASLYBOO]

and of course it's with the understanding that the kids are comfortable with it as well. I think people often forget what it's like to be a kid and how enjoyable it was to granted a bit of freedom from our own parents! I remember my Mom asking me, over and over, "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

The OP that stated dumping her kids, I took it as an exaggerated, funny comment, just as my son tells me now, "Just remember, I'll be the one picking the home!!" It's all in jest!

Just because the parents want a dinner alone, or the kids want a bit of freedom doesn't mean you love each other any less! It's just part of growing up!

Some DIS statements come off as harsh when that's not the intention at all, and then from that comes judgement and condemnation! Time for a chill pill!

 

[crisi]

Comparing a 12 year old to an 18 year old is interesting. Are you saying we should start teaching a 12 year old to drive because if they cant figure it out by 12 then they wont have a chance at 18? How about calculus? I fail to see how leaving a 12 year old unattended in a hotel room relates to how an 18 year old will manage in college. I would certainly hope that at 18 you would be be more responsible and mature than at 12. I also fail to see how leaving a kid alone in a hotel room is this fantastic life lesson. Maybe I have lived a sheltered life but my parents never left me alone in a hotel room. My wife's parents never left her alone either and I am proud to say that I have never even thought of leaving my kids alone in a hotel room. Like I said, different strokes for different folks.

At twelve, we have been talking about driving for years. My kids are quizzed on "ok, how would you get home from here"? And "look around, what do you need to be careful of if you were driving?" They get permits here at fifteen, so they are driving in just a few short years from twelve. I don't expect them to learn it all when they spend twenty hours in drivers education, I want it cemented over a longer term so the thoughts are habit long before they have their foot on a gas pedal.

(And my daughter is good at this, flighty though, so 'watch for small kids' needs to be a habit before she drives. My son is better at paying attention in the act, but far less likely to think...he's a great one for "I didn't think" and "no one told me." So telling him two hundred times that the corner near our house is slippery all winter might save me body work).

 

[disney212]

It would depend on the kids. I did it many times with my kids when they were that age. We also let them wander the parks together unsupervised. Note that they are now 23 and 25, both have great jobs, DS graduates with his Masters this May and DD gets her next May. Neither were ever in any trouble and they still love Disney. They talk about the fun they had while away from the "old folks".

 

[Greysword]

Actually, yes I am un-trusting. In today's world where you have teachers, religious leaders, neighbors etc who take advantage of kids its better to be untrusting. Maybe dumping wasnt the best choice but leaving kids alone in a hotel room, to me, is irresponsible. And really, letting a kid roam with a cell phone does what exactly? Do you except a young kid who might be in trouble to remain calm and collected enough to call for help? Most adults can't do that. There are many ways for kids to learn to be independent. I think leaving them alone in a hotel room isnt one of them.

Kids can do more than we give them credit for:

http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500202_162-6288591.html

When a 7-year-old boy, identified as Carlos, called 911 from a locked bathroom as armed robbers held his parents at gunpoint, sheriff's dispatcher Monique Patino fielded the call.

"I felt the fear in his voice, both of them," Patino told CBS' "The Early Show" Thursday, referring also to Carlos' 6-year-old sister, who he had pulled into the bathroom with him.

"There's some guy. He's gonna kill my mom and dad. Can you come?" Carlos said over the phone, even imploring Patino to "bring soldiers, too!"

...Even though the intruders broke down the bathroom door, to the terrifying screams of the children, they fled once they learned Carlos had called 911.

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21007802917414/3-attempted-burglars-in-police-custody/

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. (WSVN) -- Police have arrested three people accused of breaking into a home while an 11-year-old boy was inside.

It was around dinnertime Thursday when police officers surrounded the home to rescue the boy after he called 911 on the three teenagers who had entered the home to ransack the place in search of items to steal.

...Police officers said this boy did everything right. Though the burglars fled the scene, police eventually caught up with them and all three were arrested.

http://realestate.aol.com/blog/2012/11/30/matthew-hansen-boy-saves-family-house-fire/

5-Year-Old Boy Saves Family From House Fire in Beacon, N.Y.

A family in Beacon, N.Y., is lucky to be alive after a fire consuming their kitchen (pictured below after the blaze) threatened to consume their home in flames as they slept. The hero who saved them? Their 5-year-old boy.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/149891/14yearold_boy_saves_woman_from

14-Year-Old Boy Saves Woman From Rapist While Babysitting Younger Siblings

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/boy-11-saves-sister-pitbulls-attack-article-1.1198747

Boy, 11, fights off pitbulls to save 5-year-old sister
Maleik Carr and his little sister were on their way to school when the two unleashed dogs escaped through a hole in a neighbor's chain-link fence and attacked.

http://www.thejc.com/news/uk-news/94795/boy-saves-family-chanucah-fire

Boy saves family from Chanucah fire

A nine-year-old boy’s quick thinking saved his family after Chanucah candles ignited their home last Friday.

We have a smoke alarm, which alerted my nine-year-old son, Shmuel, who quickly rang 999, and ran upstairs to alert my wife. He learned about fire safety at school,” said Mr Dunner.
“If he had hesitated a minute it could have been a tragedy. The smoke was so thick,” added the 38-year-old father, who said his family were becoming trapped as the front door became impassable due to smoke and flames.

“He was a hero for acting so quickly.”

http://abcnews.go.com/US/memphis-boy-saves-sister-kidnapper/story?id=14984631

A 10-year-old Memphis boy is being hailed as a hero after police said he fended off a would-be abductor who tried to snatch his little sister.

This is just a quick sampling from a Google search. Kids can do amazing things, if they need to and are taught what to do. In the end, WDW is a pretty safe place with lots of cast members willing and able to help, they just need to be alerted. Outside of the berm; however, it is not as nice of a place, yet we give children more freedoms at home than we do at WDW.

You are entitled to parent as you see fit, and no one is discounting this. Please note that there are many other parents that do not share your parental point of view, which is also fine. However, choose your words carefully, as we lack the ability to see body language or intonation to help with the context.

For the record, we only have one child (DD7), and we have not let her go alone yet, mainly due to being the only kid-aged person on our trips (however, my DW would argue that there are two kids on the trip ). If we eventually bring a friend for her to spend time with, we would probably be a little more relaxed, especially at 12 years old.

 

[Sammie]

To me the question would be, would you do this at another location other than Disney.

If not, I would not do it at Disney. There is much that goes on, that never makes to the media.

 

[BabsBunny]

My kids (now 17 and 19) have always loved it when we "dumped" them. We dumped them in their hotel room (yes, they had their own room next to us) in London when they were 11 and 13. We left them with crappy Pizza Hut, no working cell phones, and the television, while we went downstairs and had dinner. They begged us not to have to sit through another meal of bangers and mashed or kidney pie. I refuse to eat Pizza Hut at home let alone in England. Problem solved--everyone happy.