Would you stay with your DH if.....

[krcit]

he was a bank robber??? A few years ago a guy in a nearby town was arrested for being a serial bank robber. He had robbed 10 banks in about 6 months. He worked on Wall St and lost his job and instead of telling his wife, every day he pretended to go to work and eventually came up with the great idea of robbing banks for cash. He finally got caught and proclaimed his innocence to his wife until the evidence was too overwhelming and he ntook a plea deal and got 9 years in jail. His wife filed for divorce. Understandable, yes? Not according to my MIL She just read a book the wife wrote and gave it to me to read. In discussing it she said she feels like the wife should've stayed with him or at least waited a few years before divorcing him. She says they took vows for better or for worse. I say all bets are off when someone is a criminal!!! I honestly can't wrap my brain around how anyone could think she should stay with him. I told her to be prepared b/c if my DH robs a bank I'm outta here

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So maybe your mom is a Bonnie deep down there somewhere?

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I hear ya! No way could I stay if my DH was out robbing banks. I can't even picture that, it would be horrible!

 

[robinb]

Sure, I don't see why not. She was already OK with him working on Wall Street. It wasn't *that* much of a career shift to become a bank robber.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sure, I don't see why not. She was already OK with him working on Wall Street. It wasn't *that* much of a career shift to become a bank robber.

Oh snap....

 

[happygirl]

I take my vows pretty seriously. I did vow to better or worse and death to us part. There are some things that I would leave my spouse for I'm not sure this is one of them.

 

[krcit]

I take my vows pretty seriously. I did vow to better or worse and death to us part. There are some things that I would leave my spouse for I'm not sure this is one of them.

Really? That's interesting. Again, this is another one of those you don't know what you'd do until you're in the situation I guess. I just would have a hard time staying married to a criminal, never mind that he was lying to her for months. Her trust in him was destroyed.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Really? That's interesting. Again, this is another one of those you don't know what you'd do until you're in the situation I guess. I just would have a hard time staying married to a criminal, never mind that he was lying to her for months. Her trust in him was destroyed.

Esp someone who is robbing banks. High probability of being murdered by your spouse I would imagine.

If you found out and he found out you found out, that pretty much spells dead to me.

 

[Cornhusk]

Only if he was good at it.

No seriously, I would never let him know that I know that he is a bank robber, I would just leave.

 

[sbell111]

I agree with happygirl.

My vows didn't say that we'd stick together throught thickness and thin unless my spouse broke the law or that we'd accept each others failings unless he/she lied.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I would be afraid of being dragged down with him. Like the PP said, trust is gone, obviously he wasn't the man she thought she knew. She has to protect herself and her children if there are any. What if he has to pay restitution? She may end up bankrupt because of him.

 

[NY Disney fan]

When someone is a criminal THEY DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU. They put you in harm's way. They don't care about your future. They are only out for themselves. There is no reason to stay married to them. God gives us clues, we have to listen to them.

 

[sbell111]

Esp someone who is robbing banks. High probability of being murdered by your spouse I would imagine.

If you found out and he found out you found out, that pretty much spells dead to me.

I'm not sure how you made this leap. Just because someone is a robber, doesn't mean that they are a cold-blooded spouse murderer.

 

[pyrxtc]

I don't think this is one of them either. Sometimes you just snap. he didn't kill anyone or hurt anyone. Cheating, he would be gone but stealing.. I would be severely disappointed but would still stay.

 

[sbell111]

When someone is a criminal THEY DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU. They put you in harm's way. They don't care about your future. They are only out for themselves. There is no reason to stay married to them.

I think that you are ignoring the motivations of the robber. Some people (presumably the OP's example) become criminals becasue they are trying to take care of their family. To suggest that these people don't actually love their families is an error, in my opinion.

 

[jx3smom]

I really don't think I'd stay with him.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I think that you are ignoring the motivations of the robber. Some people (presumably the OP's example) become criminals becasue they are trying to take care of their family. To suggest that these people don't actually love their families is an error, in my opinion.

On the contrary! When you are committing a crime, you DO NOT care about your family nor their future. You are trading their future and their safety for nothing. Crimes cannot be justified, I'm sorry. Ever heard of thou shall not steal?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm not sure how you made this leap. Just because someone is a robber, doesn't mean that they are a cold-blooded spouse murderer.

Um let's see he is robbing banks. The fact you can't make that leap is short sighted.

 

[happygirl]

On the contrary! When you are committing a crime, you DO NOT care about your family nor their future. You are trading their future and their safety for nothing. Crimes cannot be justified, I'm sorry. Ever heard of thou shall not steal?

I'm not justify it. Just not sure I would divorce over it.

 

[Planogirl]

I agree that assuming a bank robber would kill his spouse is making a leap. I don't see how the two are related.

I would not want to be married to a criminal though. Just not my kind of guy.