Would you send out notices???

[catwub]

Since we are doing a very private intimate and not inviting guests, I had not planned on sending out any notices. BUT, in the last three days I have had two good friends ask where we are registered. I did not register and I do not want to appear to be "fishing" for gifts. We are both fairly established in our own homes and the ONLY thing we could really want is, you guessed it, help with this wedding or honeymoon. Would you still send out notices of your wedding even if you are not inviting anyone and if so, HOW in the world would go about letting friends know without seeming pushy???? By the way, I do not have plans, as of now, to do a home reception.



Cat

 

[JandJ]

News of our wedding spread mostly by word-of-mouth. My parents told family and their friends and of course I told all of my friends when we got engaged. Initially we planned an at-home reception, but when my mom passed unexpectedly we canceled. Still, my best friend threw me a bridal shower and my former roommate threw me a bachelorette party and my co-workers threw me a surprise shower - and they all knew they were not invited to the wedding or any kind of reception. They just wanted to help me celebrate. After the wedding we mailed marriage announcements and were shocked when some family members sent gifts! I think people like to celebrate happy occassions and sending a wedding gift is their best way to do that. We didn't need anything either - both over 30, on our own for a long time, paying for the wedding ourselves, etc., so we registered for stuff to "upgrade" like a new toaster oven, new everyday dishes, new sheets (we upgraded to a queen size bed), etc. I believe it's impolite to send out announcements with where you're registered, if someone wants to know they'll ask you. Just a small warning - most people do not want to give cash unless they are close family and if you don't register you'll wind up with 100 crystal picture frames

 

[hiwaygal]

My experience was similar to Jen's.

Like you, catwub, my intimate was just that (lol) just me and DH. Most of my family knew, but for many reasons could not attend. After my wedding, I sent out announcements and a few people sent gifts (mostly checks). That was not our intention at all!!

I did register (just because it was fun! ) and my mother and a few other family members knew. When they were asked, they passed along the info and I got a few gifts from my registries.

If your friends are asking, then create a registry somewhere and let them (and maybe your mom and MIL2B) know.

 

[aprincess72]

My situation is similiar to yours and I was really troubled figuring out the right thing to do here.
Since we are having an intimate DFTW we are very limited to close family and a few friends. It turns out that it didn't matter to most people! They still wanted to do something for us. Since destination weddings have become so popular this is not foreign to most people now. So, my future DHs family threw us a couples shower in his hometown and one of my mom's friends is throwing me one in my hometown. We have pretty established households ourselves so we registered with the new www.disneyhoneymoonregistry.com . As long as you have a Disney reservation number you can register too if you are going to Disney.
The best way is through word of mouth. We are doing announcements to some extended family right after the wedding but not including registry information. I would definitely recommend registering in at least one nationwide store like Target or Bed Bath and Beyond because people will want to send you a gift!

 

[catwub]

Thanks all!! After all the discussing this, looks like we are probably doing a reception here after all!!! Maybe in mid-November, gotta recoup a little $$$$

Thank you!!

Cat