Would you say something or keep quiet?

[ZachnElli]

On my way home from work tonight I had to stop at the store to get milk. Before I finished my drive home, I sat in my car eating a chocolate covered heart shaped marshmellow. Maybe someone should tell my husband. I have a problem. Darn those express lanes with their candy filled aisles!

 

[JessicaR]

On my way home from work tonight I had to stop at the store to get milk. Before I finished my drive home, I sat in my car eating a chocolate covered heart shaped marshmellow. Maybe someone should tell my husband. I have a problem. Darn those express lanes with their candy filled aisles!

You know there are cameras now that catch just everything! Probably be a letter in the mail...

 

[phorsenuf]

On my way home from work tonight I had to stop at the store to get milk. Before I finished my drive home, I sat in my car eating a chocolate covered heart shaped marshmellow. Maybe someone should tell my husband. I have a problem. Darn those express lanes with their candy filled aisles!

You know there are cameras now that catch just everything! Probably be a letter in the mail...

 

[Liberty Belle]

Red letter day on the DIS, four pages of responses and 100% agreement!

Ok, now let's play....let me be clear that I was shocked by the original question. BUT some of the responses did get me thinking...several posters have alluded to the fact that the boss' husband was engaged in a legal activity so of course no need to bring it up to anyone.

However, what if the OP witnessed, say, the husband engaged in a make-out session with another woman? (in Walmart parking lot, yee ha!) That's also a legal activity. Would anyone feel inclined to bring that to the wife's attention (pretend it's a friend and not her boss)? It can also carry potential health risks (std's?), shouldn't the friend be aware?

I'm inclined to stick with the MYOB, but I know others will feel differently and think the wife has a right to know if her husband is fooling around! Does that alter anyone's original stance?

Best friend? I'd probably tell her husband that I'm about to tell her and let him tell her first. Other friends - I probably would just mind my own business.

 

[mamacatnv]

I only have one thing to say:
Thank Goodness the Rule is alive and well and behavior properly once again

 

[MistressMerryweather]

You really took his license plate number down? Whoa! I have to admit I'm an unbelievable hater of cigarette smoke, but to make it such a weird issue like you did, floors me. It was also a hair silly to delete your original post, it's quoted all through the thread.

 

[kimmyann]

Nevermind...

Sorry OP, I would not say anything to your boss. Sometimes it's best just to pretend you did not see anything. If it was a very close friend or your sister then maybe, otherwise no I wouldn't go there.

 

[kaffinito]

I can see why the OP asked the question given her bosses dislike of smoking.

Trust me, your boss knows.

 

[Mermaid02]

Even if it was a friend or relative, I would keep my nose out of their marriage. It's a cigarette, not a leggy redhead in a thong.

 

[MIGrandma]

It never ceases to amaze me the people that change their original post when the comments from others upset them. If someone (as they did in this case) has quoted the OP, don't they realize people can still read what they originally said?

And changing the original posts just makes more people want to read it. I probably wouldn't have bothered opening the thread until I saw the OP changed her post.

 

[Cinderella94]

It never ceases to amaze me the people that change their original post when the comments from others upset them. If someone (as they did in this case) has quoted the OP, don't they realize people can still read what they originally said?

And changing the original posts just makes more people want to read it. I probably wouldn't have bothered opening the thread until I saw the OP changed her post.

Me too!

 

[Klismania]

Red letter day on the DIS, four pages of responses and 100% agreement!

Ok, now let's play....let me be clear that I was shocked by the original question. BUT some of the responses did get me thinking...several posters have alluded to the fact that the boss' husband was engaged in a legal activity so of course no need to bring it up to anyone.

However, what if the OP witnessed, say, the husband engaged in a make-out session with another woman? (in Walmart parking lot, yee ha!) That's also a legal activity. Would anyone feel inclined to bring that to the wife's attention (pretend it's a friend and not her boss)? It can also carry potential health risks (std's?), shouldn't the friend be aware?

I'm inclined to stick with the MYOB, but I know others will feel differently and think the wife has a right to know if her husband is fooling around! Does that alter anyone's original stance?

Not mine. Someone else's marriage is none of my business. Changing the situation from boss to friend and changing the variables from smoking to sex changes nothing. The closest I would come to even hinting to a friend would be if her husband came on to me. Then I'd have to explain why I was uncomfortable visiting their home. Otherwise, it's none of my business.

Getting back to the original premise of the topic, I suspect the OP had thought there'd be enough smoking Nazis here that she'd get some kind of justification to validate her desire to rat out a closet smoker. I'm not buying the whole "It's for the children" schtick. It's not about the children. It's about controlling someone else's behavior just because you think you know better than they do.

The idea of going to your boss, the person who controls whether or not you get a pay raise, promotion or are selected for layoff, and ratting out their husband/wife for a legal activity such as smoking, drinking or having an affair? Well, that idea is pretty whackadoodle to me. You've immediately put your boss on the defense by barging into their personal life and now they know that you have no boundaries instead of just suspecting it. If you'll rat out their husband/wife, then you'll just as easily rat them out, too.

Not someone I'd want working for me, I'll tell you that.

Do what you must but don't come crying to me if you get fired in a few months because you're now seen as an untrustworthy busybody.

 

[Caropooh]

I started reading this thinking that you were going to say that he climbed into a car with another woman! In either case, I would say to MYOB.

That is exactly what I was waiting for also, either another woman or man!

OP here - last post from me on the topic. I was shocked because she is a very outspoken Non-Smoker, just walking into someone's house that smokes makes her sick and it was one of the questions she asked me when I was hired "do you smoke", so to see her husband smoking was kind of surprising to say the least.

Unless the business is non-smoking (which I'm guessing isn't legal) I'm thinking she can't legally ask that question.
I know where I work you can't smoke on property, but you can go right off property to smoke.

Red letter day on the DIS, four pages of responses and 100% agreement!

Ok, now let's play....let me be clear that I was shocked by the original question. BUT some of the responses did get me thinking...several posters have alluded to the fact that the boss' husband was engaged in a legal activity so of course no need to bring it up to anyone.

However, what if the OP witnessed, say, the husband engaged in a make-out session with another woman? (in Walmart parking lot, yee ha!) That's also a legal activity. Would anyone feel inclined to bring that to the wife's attention (pretend it's a friend and not her boss)? It can also carry potential health risks (std's?), shouldn't the friend be aware?

I'm inclined to stick with the MYOB, but I know others will feel differently and think the wife has a right to know if her husband is fooling around! Does that alter anyone's original stance?

Nope, still not my business.