Would you say "hello"?

[Papa Deuce]

I saw a guy this morning that I haven't seen in 20+ years. We were friends, but not close friends for about 3 years. Now when I knew this guy, he was all about "style". Everything was designer this, or designer that. He had a car worth about 15,000 dollars in 1978. He had it all maxed out. A show car. Like I said, all about style. And voted "Best Looking" guy in our high school AND our tech school.

So, I saw him today and it looked like he had been to hell and back - twice. I mean he was cooked. But for sure it was him.

I was going to say hello, but then it occured to me that maybe I shouldn't because he may get embarrassed. He was dirty and disheveled. And he would be 44 years old, but helooked well over 50.

I did want to say hello, but I think he may have been terribly uncomfortable for him, and to an extent, me.

So, would you have said, "hello"?

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Yep. Why not? Just because he looked pretty bad that day? I've looked pretty bad on some days when I've gone out in public - doesn't mean that my life is completely messed up. Maybe running into an old friend would have cheered him up? You never know!

 

[Papa Deuce]

Yep. Why not? Just because he looked pretty bad that day? I've looked pretty bad on some days when I've gone out in public - doesn't mean that my life is completely messed up. Maybe running into an old friend would have cheered him up? You never know!

LOL. Not a bad day! A bad, horrible life, that has really taken its toll on him. Kind of the look like a person who had been ravaged by drugs and /or terrible tragedy.

 

[gigglesnort]

LOL. Not a bad day! A bad, horrible life, that has really taken its toll on him. Kind of the look like a person who had been ravaged by drugs and /or terrible tragedy.

Are you happy about that?

The circumstance you are describing would make me want to say hello more, maybe he's real down and out, he may see it as a nice gesture.

 

[dg39]

Yea, I would have said hello. Looking a mess doesn't mean anything. There could be a million reasons why he was a mess that day. Doesn't mean he doesn't care or is broke financially. It can just means he wasn't looking his best at that time.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Are you happy about that?

The circumstance you are describing would make me want to say hello more, maybe he's real down and out, he may see it as a nice gesture.

I guess I don't "get" you, or you me, based on this and Dawn's post.

Happy? Not at all. I was sad. And if my guess was right, and it was just a guess, I believe from my rememberance of him, that he would have been embarassed to be seen looking like that. We aren't talking about a bad day.

I admit, I would have felt uncomfortable talking to him. I imagine it might have been much worse for him.

 

[gigglesnort]

just curious.

well, i hate things that make me uncomfortable also, but sometimes it's worth it.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Yea, I would have said hello. Looking a mess doesn't mean anything. There could be a million reasons why he was a mess that day. Doesn't mean he doesn't care or is broke financially. It can just means he wasn't looking his best at that time.

I guess I can't make my point strong enough. This is a 180 degree turn for him. I am not judging him at all. He was, and probaly still is, a good guy. He did not look like he was a mess "today". He looked like he had been ravaged by something. Like on the brink of death, and down and out financially as well.

I can speak for myself. If the tables were reversed, I may have been happy to be left alone too.

 

[KimR]

20 years can do a lot to change a person's perspective on life, though. I imagine quite a few of us were/are concerned with style and outward appearance in our teens and early twenties. Life experience does a lot to change that, probably even more so for someone who has gone through difficult times. Yes, I would have said hello.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If you didn't say hello--how do you know he had a bad and tragic life?

If this was someone whom I associated with before and it ended on good terms, I would say hello. You never know when you might be just the person someone needed to talk to. Never know when you will brighten someone's day.

I think we tend to overanalyze our interactions or avoidances of people. When you just do what comes naturally--amazing things can happen.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I guess I can't make my point strong enough. This is a 180 degree turn for him. I am not judging him at all. He was, and probaly still is, a good guy. He did not look like he was a mess "today". He looked like he had been ravaged by something. Like on the brink of death, and down and out financially as well.

I can speak for myself. If the tables were reversed, I may have been happy to be left alone too.

Papa, I guess what most of us are trying to say is that we wouldn't care how down and out, or sickly he looked, we would have still said hello. In fact, if he looked on the "brink of death" as you put it, maybe he would have appreciated a friendly gesture. Not doing so based on his appearance seems rather superior and snobbish to me.

 

[gigglesnort]

Papa, I guess what most of us are trying to say is that we wouldn't care how down and out, or sickly he looked, we would have still said hello. In fact, if he looked on the "brink of death" as you put it, maybe he would have appreciated a friendly gesture. Not doing so based on his appearance seems rather superior and snobbish to me.

better than how I said it.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Papa, I guess what most of us are trying to say is that we wouldn't care how down and out, or sickly he looked, we would have still said hello. In fact, if he looked on the "brink of death" as you put it, maybe he would have appreciated a friendly gesture. Not doing so based on his appearance seems rather superior and snobbish to me.

Guess you are a Papa hater. In NO WAY do I feel superior rr snobbish to him, or anyone.

Maybe I should or could have said "hello", but my reasons were more based on caring about him, not just how I would feel

 

[gigglesnort]

just because someone doesn't agree with what you posted, especially when you asked for an opinion, doesn't mean they hate you.

it would be awfully hard to hate someone because you read a post by them on an internet board.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Guess you are a Papa hater. In NO WAY do I feel superior rr snobbish to him, or anyone.

Maybe I should or could have said "hello", but my reasons were more based on caring about him, not just how I would feel

I am not a Papa hater! You asked for opinions. Every time someone gave one, you gave another explanation for his appearance, and emphasized how bad he looked. Maybe you meant well, but you really should have just sucked it up and said hi. It probably would have left you feeling better than how you feel now.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I am not a Papa hater! You asked for opinions. Every time someone gave one, you gave another explanation for his appearance, and emphasized how bad he looked. Maybe you meant well, but you really should have just sucked it up and said hi. It probably would have left you feeling better than how you feel now.

Because people seemed to be thinking that he was just having a bad day. Trust me, this is far from the case.

For the second part, you may be right.

 

[pamlet]

ahhhh PapaDeuce - you always come up with the most intriguing scenarios!

Yep - I'd have approached him - whatever had ravaged him in the 20 some years since you'd seen him had to have broken his heart - and I'm sure he would have appreciated a heartfelt hello - how are you doing? You never know how it can touch someone's heart when you show kindness!

Just from your posts it's obvious to me that you have a kind heart - tho' at times you seem to have to 'think things through' ..

This may seem TOTALLY off topic - but have you ever read the book "Dinner with a Perfect Stranger" ? I bring it up because believe it or not I thought of you when I read it... (also reflected an AWFUL lot on myself).. The main character is a young man who out of no where is invited to dinner with Christ. At times the book is funny - at times sad - but the young man reacts to things often the way you portray yourself here on the board. Caring, thinking ... but a little caught up in day to day stuff... over looking some things that are seemingly obvious to us. It's a quick, easy read - but really an interesting premise!

I suggest if you run into your friend again - approach him!

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

There have been days i truly hoped nobody recognized me looking as bad as i did.

In the book Model Patient (about the beautiful model with Sarcoidosis(sp)) the author mentions meeting an old boyfriend on a bad day and turning straight around and hobbling away!

 

[Lynn CC]

I Know some Millionaire's that liver here on the Cape and you would swear they were, well homeless by the looks of them. Scruffy, one is a woman and one is a man, both their spouses look like normal rich people. So you just never know. I probably wouldn't have said Hi either. Maybe he just got over the flu or had it or something like that? I see people from HS all the time and don't go out of my way to say anything, usually they remember me, but I can't remember them, I try to picture what they looked like in HS so a name will come to me!

 

[02bBarbie]

you know how much a "not close" friend of yours' car's worth from 27 years ago?

I'm sorry but that strikes me as incredibly odd

But I realize several of your posts are sprinkled with comments about money so that must just be your style and that's ok.