btw, it is hard not to have some type of joint custody. The issues have to large and they have to be proved for the judge to change the current situation. If your children currently live with you, are doing well and you are not causing harm, more than likely you will maintain that. Your ex is trying to use the kids as leverage to get his way. Use it back. As long as your home, rented or owned, is safe and adequate for your children, as long as they are attending school and having no issues that you are not taking care of, they clean and fed, him maintaining the home is not a big deal except in the financial scheme of things. So, if he is trying to lay that on you remind yourself to ask the lawyer what exactly would he have to prove to get the children. You will be more than surprised. Its almost an automatic thing with some spouses to use the children to get their way without a fight...all in the name of scaring you or making you just want him to go away.
If it were me, frankly, I would just find a nice place to rent, move my family there. Have the house dealt with through the lawyer and probably sell it. Regardless of the loss, you are entitled to whatever/if anything that is made off the house. The worst thing that could happen is that he doesn't pay the bills and your credit is shot all to heck. You can make sure you have access to the account and can be checking to make sure the payments are made. Will it be simple to make the payments if he doesn't? Probably not. Which is why selling, even with the realitor losses and equity in the current market. At least you won't have the unpaid mortgage to deal with in 6 months. For every piece of paper the judge gives you, to enforce it will require another court appearance and another piece of paper. Get it all done the first time in a way that is best for BOTH of you not just one. And honestly what is best may not be the easiest or financially best way.
Kelly