Would you put your life on hold for a pet?

[The Mystery Machine]

No, the dog is the total problem. He won't go to events for his side of the family either unless the dog can go too. It isn't financial, the grandparents are paying the entire bill. Sure BIL can stay home, but the point was the grandparents wanted the entire family to come. We bend over backwards at every turn for the dog and I have honestly searched high and low for beach front handicapped accessible property that is pet friendly and frankly it just doesn't exist.

Stop bending over for them and plan fun stuff with the grandparents. If they want to come they will come. If your BIL wants to use the dog as his excuse then so be it.

I do not understand the need to cater to your BIL. Grandparents and YOU need to get over this idea of a "perfect family vacation". Obviously that is not going to happen so deal with it in a better way which is to have fun despite the BIL.

I would have irritation for all of about 2 seconds and move on...

 

[Nancyg56]

That's surely almost always the case, online. Often, people go online because they don't want to face a balanced view of the situation, and instead want reinforcement for viewing it from strictly their own personal perspective.

ITA.

I do not understand the need to cater to your BIL. Grandparents and YOU need to get over this idea of a "perfect family vacation". Obviously that is not going to happen so deal with it in a better way which is to have fun despite the BIL.

I would have irritation for all of about 2 seconds and move on...

I agree. If BIL cannot or will not join the rest of the rest of the family he need not. I would have offered the plans and then left the rest up to sister to figure out. I would not get involved in their family decisions nor would I be dragged into that discussion. There is no perfect vacation the OP should just accept that.

I do not know all of this story and would bet that the OP really does not know all of it either but I suspect that BIL has more reasons to stay away completely. Is the beach front property the only one he can stay at or would it have been acceptable that he and his dog stay further inland at a hotel that accepts pets? Does sister not want to split her family up so the kids can stay with the GP's? Is the dog at a point where he simply cannot make the trip and IL refuses to compromise his health at this point in his life? Can sister travel alone but refuses?

 

[Robindianne]

That's fine, but I place animal life above human fun and human comfort.

Very good point.

 

[FredinFL]

Yes I would. I treat them like family, and family is there for you. To my mind, I made the decision to take in this animal and make him a member of my family. He depends on me to do what needs to be done. He gets scared and hurt and lonely just like any of my other "kids". He trusts me to do what's right for him and I love him. I wouldn't do less than what was needed to make him comfortable.

My kittyboy has been diagnosed with kidney disease, I have to cajole him to eat, three different kinds of meals a day sometime, little bits, to keep him from vomiting. Pepcid, and I have to give him 1-2 cc's of water subcutaeously a day. Plus extra "oil" because he gets constipated (tmi, but wth, we already here, right?)

So, yeah, I've put my life on hold for a while. But he's been with me for 14 wonderfully sickfree years now, I'm not going to bail on him now that he's not well.

 

[Rora]

I wouldn't skip the family reunion for that. I'd call the petsitter. Kennels aren't the only option.

 

[MoniqueU]

I have no choice. We had a big huge birthday party for my mom and I have 2 dogs that can't be togeher due to bloody damaging fights and we didn't have anywhere to put both of them away from the guests. We put the biggest one that doesn't attack other dogs in a kennel overnight. My husband was livid. Completely freaked out. Started ranting and raving. I guess to him a kennel is animal abuse and I won't make that mistake again. The same dog is not ok in the house when you leave him and likes the backyard but if it is raining he doesn't like it so if it rains I can't leave the house.

 

[luvmy3]

Depends on what is meant by put you life on hold. Would I miss family reunion, re-arrange vacations, miss nights out with friends, etc, yes I would do all of those things because of a pet.
If you mean give up everything completely to take care of a pet, then no I wouldn't. There are options, like pet sitters (thank goodness for my MIL , and kennels). They may not be ideal, but if its a temporary thing, like a weekend, or a week then I would have no issue doing it. I only get one life to live and as much as I love my pets, I wouldn't put it completely on hold for them.

 

[bicker]

Yes, good point, and heck, people shouldn't be putting their life "on hold" for other people, either. We each live our own lives. We support each other, especially family and close friends, but we don't owe anyone our subjugation. Even a spouse of "gives up" a career to move due to the career of the other spouse is not putting their live "on hold" but rather making a personal decision that making this move - making this sacrifice for the family - is a more strongly-positive direction for themselves, even as compared to the more personally-motivated decision to break up the family and stay with their current job.

 

[PghLybrt]

I cancelled Disney with my niece and nephew for my girl. She was 15 and in poor health. I think she knew and passed before the trip actually was going to take place. I wouldnt want to die with strangers, why would my pup?

 

[Happiest mommy]

I lost my dog will be a year next month see siggy, I was at Disney when she became ill she traveld with me quite a bit but she was getting old and stressed when traveling so my brother pet sat at my home, if only I knew that day she walked me to do the door that would be the last time I would see her at home I would not have left, while at Disney I recieved a phone call from my brother that she got a seizure and became very ill, both my brother and sister rushed my dog to the Animal Hospital I was agonizing not being near her and I can imagine her missing me that day was spent speaking with them and the vet trying to decide the best care for her, I was to leave in 2 days and instructed them to leave her at the Vet for care.
She lasted until I got home I got to give her one last hug, kiss rub her head and tell her how much she meant to me she was a very big part of our family and the biggest loss I have ever suffered I still miss her terribly I arranged my life alot around the care of my dog she depended on me.

 

[7165red]

I really feel your loss. I had a similar situation with my cat. It's a long story and very painful. Pets are our family.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If I felt that I had to, I would.

I'm not pet crazy--but if I had a sick pet that required meds, I would worry about a kennel as well. However, I have boarded a pet that required special help at the vet before. It wasn't critical, but it made me have peace over the decision. I was not charged a hospitalization either. They may have charged extra for what they needed to do, but I don't remember.

Gotta say, I don't fault the person who backed out and find it a bit insensitive to judge them for it in this case.

If he is simply pet obsessed and making a mountain out of a molehill--then quit trying to make him come to everything. You'd probably hear nothing but dog stories the entire time anyway.

My parents in law are having issues with travel due to their dog. But boarding or having a pet sitter is a huge expense and this year is tight for them. As disappointing as it is to have them not come visit, it is understandable.

I had a cat on a feeding tube once. If I had to travel (which I didn't) I simply would not have been able to do so. As it were, I had to have him rehospitalized anyway because his tube kept dislodging and we were getting nowhere. 3 days of hospitalization, after a while in the tube, he was able to have it removed and was eating normally. Now--it isn't that I care more about a cat, than I do humans--but we spent over $1000 to get him better and I wasn't about to *abandon him until we knew he was in the clear. (*meaning go somewhere overnight, not literal abandonment.)

 

[marlynnp]

My SIL is driving my brother crazy. She has an older dog that she will not leave at the kennel since he is on meds. She will not be coming to our family reunion because it would require an overnight stay. I love my pets but I am not sure I would sacrifice so much for them. She made my brother cancel a cruise due to the condition of the dog. I guess I feel that humans are more important than animals.

my dog vs. an in-law reunion

no question in my mind at all - the dog wins every time!

 

[dis-happy]

Yes I would. I treat them like family, and family is there for you. To my mind, I made the decision to take in this animal and make him a member of my family. He depends on me to do what needs to be done. He gets scared and hurt and lonely just like any of my other "kids". He trusts me to do what's right for him and I love him. I wouldn't do less than what was needed to make him comfortable.

My kittyboy has been diagnosed with kidney disease, I have to cajole him to eat, three different kinds of meals a day sometime, little bits, to keep him from vomiting. Pepcid, and I have to give him 1-2 cc's of water subcutaeously a day. Plus extra "oil" because he gets constipated (tmi, but wth, we already here, right?)

So, yeah, I've put my life on hold for a while. But he's been with me for 14 wonderfully sickfree years now, I'm not going to bail on him now that he's not well.

Aww, we did that with our kitty who lived until 19, and currently with my mom's kitty who just turned 20. You are a good cat person!!

 

[hambirg]

I think my pets are my family, BUT I never put them above people. I can understand if they feel their dog is too elderly to leave in a kennel. . .BUT what makes them think the GM or GP are going to be around forever either? You just can't take family for granted. I would feel horrible if I passed up a family reunion because of my pet, only for a family member to pass and not be able to spend that time with them. I think like most people, we will have many pets in our lives, and not that we won't do everything in our power to make them happy and comfortable. . .but you can't say the same about the people in your life. We expect to outlive our pets. I may have several cats or dogs. . .but only one maternal GM. Am I making any sense? I guess it's all in your perspective. If my cat dies tomorrow I would feel horrible! But I would eventually get over it. . .if the same happened to one of my kids. . .can't say that I ever would! Pets are important and they depend on you, so you do your best for them and you do it out of love. .. BUT at the end of the day. . .they are NOT even in the same realm as loved ones. JMHO.

ETA-So it begs the question. . .do they consider the inlaws loved ones? And yes I would be put out by a relative that had to have everything "perfect" for them and their dog to come to a family gathering. I had a cousin like that. Guess what, missy? Your dog is not more important than my 3 kids. . .nor any of the other family members traveling with theirs. Get over it or stay home. We'll send ya a postcard. . .maybe.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I would, and have. 2 weeks ago I was supposed to join DH in NYC with the kids for a business meeting that would have given us a free room. We got a puppy and instead of disrupting his schedule we canned the pans to join DH. Everyone was disappointed but having a pet is being responsible for a life and since I happen to have a particular devotion to St. Francis skimping on an animal is out of the question. Not gonna happen unless it was to save or help a sick human.