Would you please share your views on ADHD and medication?

[cruisnfamily]

Ok, I could post this as a really long detailed vent at my DS's school and the issues we are having this year. I am, however, trying to post this from a non-argumentative, information seeking perspective so please bear with me! I'll try not to ramble but I want to lay out some facts for you.

DS(turned 7 yesterday) is in the 1st grade. We love our school (a magnet/fundamental school) and have a DD who is in 4th grade at the same school. Love the teachers, administrators, etc.....until this year.

DS has the same teacher DD had for 1st grade. We loved (past tense) this teacher for DD and actually really wanted her for DS. Very strong academics, no nonsense kind of person. We get along well with her. Well, the first few weeks of school DS was completely off the walls, behavior wise. Crawling on the floor, making noises, can't sit....etc, etc. I am in the class probably 6 hours a week so I saw all this too, the teacher wasn't making it up or anything. Keep in mind, he is a sweet child, not a disruptive child....he's not bothering anybody but himself and not disrupting the class.

Well, it was decided to put him on a behavior chart to focus on the behaviors he was having trouble with (sitting still, making noises) and we decided to have him evaluated to get to the bottom of this situation.

Long story short, he's very, very bright (but not quite gifted) and is what the psychologist called "on the cusp" for ADHD. He has some ADHD behaviors but doesn't meet the clinical diagnosis. She said meds would help him but that wasn't the direction we should go right now . Her recommendation: behavior modification (charts, etc) for the next 1 to 2 years and if there is no improvement or things worsen....then we might try a trial of medication.

Flash forward to the teacher: She just doesn't buy this. She has decided he must be on meds. Period! She has a son on meds and just thinks she has all the answers. There is no way we will ever change her mind no matter how DS behaves. I think it is important to point out that she does not dislike my son or anything but she is singling him out when evaluating his daily behavior.

We feel like he is being very successful, his behavior has improved very, very much and we're ready for everybody to just get off his back and let him be a kid. He has stopped making the noises but still has trouble sitting still. I think he's doing fine...

Well, the school calls me in for a meeting yesterday and the gist of the meeting was "this is damaging his self esteem" "he wants to be like everybody else" "he cannot control his behavior, he needs help" "if he were on meds it would be easier for him" etc, etc. I respectfully disagreed with everything and it was decided he would come off his behavior charts and be evaluated like everybody else for the month of January and then we will meet again. I know the teacher will go out of her way to be sure that it does not appear that he is successful and we will again be faced with the "meds" talk.

So, here's my question: Am I doing him a dis-service by handling this the way we are? Should I make it "easier" for him to sit still by drugging him? How does that help him learn to control himself? We feel like he's fine and just want to get through this year.

Ok, I've rambled long enough.....thanks for listening....

Any comments?

 

[DisMNagain]

I had a real problem with "drugging" my daughter too...and she was 16 when she was diagnosed. She had severe ADD withOUT the hyperactivity. I just felt it was wrong to feed a child "drugs" and really had to get over that feeling of guilt and help her somehow.

Hesitantly we put her on meds for a trial period (it doesn't HAVE to be a permanent round of meds, you CAN just try them out).....she was able to concentrate and within 4 months we were dealing with a different HUMAN, I kid you not.

Unfortunately she decided that she didn't like the way the meds made her feel (sick to her stomach) and she quit taking them. The turn around back to a young lady who could not concentrate OR carry on a conversation was almost immediate.

Don't hesitate to at least TRY the meds...it doesn't have to be a scary situation...and there is nothing wrong with using them if the diagnosis is accurate and the choice of meds are right.

 

[bekkiz]

A couple thoughts:
1) Over the summer there was a big news story about a little boy (maybe 9 or 10) who was ADHD. His mother had put him on meds (based on a teacher's rec) for a while, but both she and the son hated the effects on him as a person, so he stopped taking them and focused on more behavior modification and diet. The school (public) tried to tell her that he could not return unless he was on meds. The mom sued and won.

2) Bottom line: you're the parent and schools cannot dictate what you medicate your child with, not even vaccinations. If you don't want to medicate your child (and I'm right there with you on that) you don't have to. Do not feel pressured into it

3) Will you change the teacher's mind? Probably not. She's found with her son it takes much less work to simply have him pop a pill, then constantly remind him or chart his behavior. It's unlikely that she will ever be on your "side."

4) What can you do? Well, be vigilant about his progress at home, and in the 6 hours you are at the school. Find an ally in another teacher; feel out who is more holistic than medicine based. Last resort; convince your doctor meds are not an option. Have him write that note, and hopefully, she might be more willing to help. Remember none of these people are medical professionals; they do not have the power to diagnose, no matter what their qualifications are. That’s why that mom won her case. The teacher was acting out of her sphere of knowledge and had no idea what she was talking about.

good luck

 

[gina2000]

I believe the psychologist is the expert, not the teacher. That's the diagnosis I would stick with until a reevaluation is done.

I have nothing against meds, by the way. But I leave the diagnosis to the professional.