Saffron
Palm Tree Hugger
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2001
- Messages
- 8,453
Hmm, I don't know where to begin. It's really, really hard. 
Tomorrow I'm going to my first DIS meet! Yahoo! I'm so excited! I've been waiting for 2 years to attend a DIS meet! I wanted to wait until I was out of school (studying to be a teacher) to start traveling and meeting new people and having fun once again. But -- life sometimes doesn't go the way you plan. There are twists and turns along the way. Some great, some not so great
, some of the twists are something that you never dream would happen! Anyway, the last 2 years have been interesting to say the least. So where is this going?
Like some of you out there, I struggle with my weight. Most times I win. Sometimes I lose. Right now I'm not fighting the battle. I gave up a few months ago. I was losing anyway.
Last year, as some of you may know, I started to get to know a man here on the DIS; WillyJ. That kept me in front of the computer as we got to know each other in a long distance, on line, real life, romance. It also kept me around food and away from any exercise. Now -- I'm not blaming this on WillyJ - just the opposite!
But that's when the down hill struggle began. I noticed at the end of the summer, when I wore jeans for the first time, that my jeans didn't fit! That caused me a lot of anxiety. So -- I ate more. 
Then I had some major health issues, so I ate more. Then I had to drop out of school because of my health issues, so I ate more. Then I knew I was out of control and gaining weight, and I didn't know how to tell WillyJ, so I ate more. And so it went ---- on and on and on.
I've gained a lot of weight in the last year. I don't know how much. I wouldn't dare get on the scale, because I would become so depressed, I would become house bound. I know I would. I think I've gained about 100 pounds. I've gone from a size 8 to a size 22 in one year. This is the third time in my life I've done this to myself. The one thing different is that now I have the love of a great man who is standing by me, because he loves me for me. We've talked about my weight as I gained. We talk about ways to lose the weight now. He's a great man with a great heart. He's sweet, loving, kind and gentle. Without him, I would be hiding in my home now, waiting until I was ready to start working out again and waiting to start eating right again.
I didn't want to go to the meet tomorrow or Riddle Con because of the way I look. Will has encouraged me to go. Why the heck am I telling all you guys this?????? Because I know there will be pictures from the meet tomorrow. I want to get it out in the open so that if anyone has anything to say, they can say it. I don't want to hide or be news to whisper about. (Full of myself, aren't I, like anyone would care. )
Anyway, I can't wait to go to the meet tomorrow to meet some incredible people! I think it will be a blast! I'll be the fat chick on the arm of one of the kindest men I've ever met. I'm so glad he loves me! With him by my side, I can do anything!
Oh, and by next summer, I hope to be back to my old size 8 - 10. But until then, I'll just have to be me.
Tomorrow I'm going to my first DIS meet! Yahoo! I'm so excited! I've been waiting for 2 years to attend a DIS meet! I wanted to wait until I was out of school (studying to be a teacher) to start traveling and meeting new people and having fun once again. But -- life sometimes doesn't go the way you plan. There are twists and turns along the way. Some great, some not so great
, some of the twists are something that you never dream would happen! Anyway, the last 2 years have been interesting to say the least. So where is this going? Like some of you out there, I struggle with my weight. Most times I win. Sometimes I lose. Right now I'm not fighting the battle. I gave up a few months ago. I was losing anyway.
Last year, as some of you may know, I started to get to know a man here on the DIS; WillyJ. That kept me in front of the computer as we got to know each other in a long distance, on line, real life, romance. It also kept me around food and away from any exercise. Now -- I'm not blaming this on WillyJ - just the opposite!
But that's when the down hill struggle began. I noticed at the end of the summer, when I wore jeans for the first time, that my jeans didn't fit! That caused me a lot of anxiety. So -- I ate more. Then I had some major health issues, so I ate more. Then I had to drop out of school because of my health issues, so I ate more. Then I knew I was out of control and gaining weight, and I didn't know how to tell WillyJ, so I ate more. And so it went ---- on and on and on. I've gained a lot of weight in the last year. I don't know how much. I wouldn't dare get on the scale, because I would become so depressed, I would become house bound. I know I would. I think I've gained about 100 pounds. I've gone from a size 8 to a size 22 in one year. This is the third time in my life I've done this to myself. The one thing different is that now I have the love of a great man who is standing by me, because he loves me for me. We've talked about my weight as I gained. We talk about ways to lose the weight now. He's a great man with a great heart. He's sweet, loving, kind and gentle. Without him, I would be hiding in my home now, waiting until I was ready to start working out again and waiting to start eating right again.
I didn't want to go to the meet tomorrow or Riddle Con because of the way I look. Will has encouraged me to go. Why the heck am I telling all you guys this?????? Because I know there will be pictures from the meet tomorrow. I want to get it out in the open so that if anyone has anything to say, they can say it.
I don't want to hide or be news to whisper about. (Full of myself, aren't I, like anyone would care. ) Anyway, I can't wait to go to the meet tomorrow to meet some incredible people! I think it will be a blast! I'll be the fat chick on the arm of one of the kindest men I've ever met. I'm so glad he loves me! With him by my side, I can do anything!
Oh, and by next summer, I hope to be back to my old size 8 - 10. But until then, I'll just have to be me.
