Would you "let" your child go to college 700+ miles from home- and UA

[linnylu]

My DD is considering the University of Alabama for college based on a very generous scholarship she could get there. It is a 12 hour ride by car from our home. Yes, I know she'll be 18 and it should be her choice but it is hard for me to even think of her being that far away. Does you student attend college far from home? How do you make it work? Do you ever worry that if there is some kind of emergency for your child they'd be hard to get to? The scholarship almost makes the school too hard to pass up, but I still worry.

 

[mhsjax]

My DD is considering the University of Alabama for college based on a very generous scholarship she could get there. It is a 12 hour ride by car from our home. Yes, I know she'll be 18 and it should be her choice but it is hard for me to even think of her being that far away. Does you student attend college far from home? How do you make it work? Do you ever worry that if there is some kind of emergency for your child they'd be hard to get to? The scholarship almost makes the school too hard to pass up, but I still worry.

I would. I tease my kids all the time about going to NYU, because I love NY. But seriously. My DS wants to go to the Ari Force Academy, a long shot I know, but if this is where they really want to go and it is paid for, Yep they go. And yep, I worry my head off, but that is what parents do. Mine were out last night, and couldn't wait to get all my little chicks under one roof. I will die when they go off to college.

 

[bellarella]

"Let"? Of course. Heck, I'll encourage. That's not to say I wouldn't worry. However, I'll have spent her entire childhood preparing her for that sort of move.

Having gone away for college was one of the best things I ever did. Jumping out of the nest and seeing how far I could fly was amazing and truly changed the course of my life.

 

[laura.anne]

I don't really think there is a problem with it. Maybe it's because I'm in college right now (albeit just an hour away from home), but I know so many people who live 24+ hours away... many of them from outside the country. One of my best friends went to Harvard for college which is about a 20 hour drive from where we live (she always flies though). To me I think the worry will subside once she's there for a while. Bama is also a good school, and they are known for giving generous scholarships, so I can imagine she's getting a great offer from them. If it's where she's set on going, I think you should let her go--even though it will be hard.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My DD is considering the University of Alabama for college based on a very generous scholarship she could get there. It is a 12 hour ride by car from our home. Yes, I know she'll be 18 and it should be her choice but it is hard for me to even think of her being that far away. Does you student attend college far from home? How do you make it work? Do you ever worry that if there is some kind of emergency for your child they'd be hard to get to? The scholarship almost makes the school too hard to pass up, but I still worry.

How much do you have to shell out? Obviously plane fare has to be factored in there.

At this point with a JR in college with NO scholarship and medical issues, it is still a PITA. My dd is 3hrs away.

Right now we are telling dd she has to get a REAL doctor down there and not rely on student health center.

Make her get a flu shot. That is the worst. Kid with the flu and you are hours away. Stinks.

Other than that it is all good.

Oh and my freshman in HS might be the one to go pretty far away. We will see.....right now she wants to go to Chicago, so about 8hrs away. Who knows where she will end up. Might be the east coast and we will never see her.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I can see you being worried, but I think the choice of where to attend college is up to the student. Of course you can give advice and you should definitely discuss what you can afford to contribute, but I think it all depends on what the student really wants to do. Be proud of such a great scholarship and enjoy seeing your child grow up and be successful!

 

[ElizK]

DD19 goes to school in upstate NY. We live in North Texas. It's not my first choice, certainly, but she's done it for a year. She goes back in less than two weeks.

I do work for an airline, but my airline doesn't fly into the closest airport to the school. We've had to buy tickets for her, and my FIL is a frequent flyer of the airline that DOES fly into the closest city. He has used his points to get her home a couple of times, too.

I admit that I do worry about her so far away. She's becoming very self-sufficient and independent. It's actually been good for her.

 

[diznygirl]

I went to college 3000 miles from home. A six hour plane flight. I was able to take care of myself.

 

[golfgal]

It's only a 2 hour flight. When we talked to our kids about college we told them either 4 hours our less or 6 hours or more--4 hours or less you can do in a day if need be, 6 hours or more and it makes sense to fly and it's an hour or two flight-no big deal. That 5 hour slot is iffy--do you drive, do you fly.

We just visited a school that is high on DD's list and Google Maps has it at 6 hours, but the drive was actually 5 hours--BUT we found out they have a shuttle back and forth to MN over major school breaks so that took care of that.

 

[StephMK]

I went 8.5-10 hrs away, depending how fast you drive and it was fine. You learn to rely on your friends really quick. We had a few get really sick and we were the ones that helped get them to the doc, etc. We drove or got rides home on holidays. Some of my best memories are from those road trips and missed flight stories!

DD17 is looking at colleges now. She wants to stay in the mid-west & I want to move back East. I keep telling her she might have to come farther to come home and she's fine with it. I wish she would follow us but it's her choice & I trust her. She's pretty independent so I know she will be fine either way.

With my luck, she will change her mind & pick the college that is 45 min from our current home. Then I may have to stick it out here a few more years!

 

[Art 1]

Yes.

 

[golfgal]

I went 8.5-10 hrs away, depending how fast you drive and it was fine. You learn to rely on your friends really quick. We had a few get really sick and we were the ones that helped get them to the doc, etc. We drove or got rides home on holidays. Some of my best memories are from those road trips and missed flight stories!

DD17 is looking at colleges now. She wants to stay in the mid-west & I want to move back East. I keep telling her she might have to come farther to come home and she's fine with it. I wish she would follow us but it's her choice & I trust her. She's pretty independent so I know she will be fine either way.

With my luck, she will change her mind & pick the college that is 45 min from our current home. Then I may have to stick it out here a few more years!

Hey, we were just in your town yesterday at Creighton . Loved it!!

 

[MrsPete]

I wouldn't be particularly happy about my child going 12 hours away. We have excellent schools much closer to home. I'd like to see my girls go 2-4 hours from home. That's far enough away that they can't run home mid-week to do laundry or eat dinner with use; thus, they have to rely upon themselves. But it's close enough that they can come home for a visit every month, and it's close enough that if they were to be sick or have an emergency, I could be there by dinnertime.

Emergencies do happen: For example, a number of my friends have college students who evacuated for Hurricane Irene. UNCW cancelled classes after 12:00 on Friday to allow students to get out of town.

However, if the scholarship brought the total college cost (including transportation) well below the cost of an in-state school AND my child was really determined, I'd talk and talk and talk about it to be sure she fully understood the idea of not being able to come home 'til Thanksgiving, etc., I'd give in eventually.

 

[Hannathy]

Of course why wouldn't I? The only way I wouldn't would be if it was extremely expensive for no good reason. Not gonna pay an outrageous amount for a program that could be taken at a cheaper school of the same quality and pay expensive transportation.

Once they are away from home and it is more than 1.5 hours they are away and not coming home very often. My DD is only about 3 hours away but she only came home for breaks never in between.

I went to school about a 7-8 hour drive from home and then we didn't have cheap long distance phone, no computers, cell phones etc. I got 1 10 min call a week from my Mom. Now you can text, chat on the computer and Skype!

 

[momto2girls]

Of course. I can't imagine limiting my children's choices of college, especially if there was a good scholarship involved and they really wanted to go there.

 

[MrsPete]

It's only a 2 hour flight . . . have a shuttle back and forth to MN

Just to be argumentative, there's no such thing as a two-hour flight. Not from my house. It takes us an hour to drive to the airport, and you need to be there at least an hour before the flight to get through check-in and security . . . so a two-hours-in-the-air flight, in reality, is at least four hours.

Mainly though, it's the cost of flying -- it's outrageous here! Of course, we don't have the discount airlines that exist in some parts of the country, nor do we collect airline miles through our jobs. Every time I compare flights to driving for various vacations, driving wins by a hefty margin.

Shuttles: A friend of mine sends her daughter back and forth to college on the Amtrak train. Not for move-in day, of course -- that requires a car trip with boxes, bedspreads, and more. But for weekend visits, I think she told me a round-trip ticket is only something like $35. Plus she can catch the train one town over from us (only a 15-20 minute drive), and it's less hassle than flying.

Might not work for everyone, but if the tracks run your direction, it's a pretty good idea.

 

[golfgal]

Just to be argumentative, there's no such thing as a two-hour flight. Not from my house. It takes us an hour to drive to the airport, and you need to be there at least an hour before the flight to get through check-in and security . . . so a two-hours-in-the-air flight, in reality, is at least four hours.

Mainly though, it's the cost of flying -- it's outrageous here! Of course, we don't have the discount airlines that exist in some parts of the country, nor do we collect airline miles through our jobs. Every time I compare flights to driving for various vacations, driving wins by a hefty margin.

Shuttles: A friend of mine sends her daughter back and forth to college on the Amtrak train. Not for move-in day, of course -- that requires a car trip with boxes, bedspreads, and more. But for weekend visits, I think she told me a round-trip ticket is only something like $35. Plus she can catch the train one town over from us (only a 15-20 minute drive), and it's less hassle than flying.

Might not work for everyone, but if the tracks run your direction, it's a pretty good idea.

That is where that 6 hour thing comes in--realizing that 4 hours is "travel time". The airport is only about 15 minutes from our house so non-issue there. Even if they are 4 hours away, that 4 hours turns into 8 for YOU if you have to go pick them up and 2 hours away turns into 4 so a 2 hour flight isn't any different really.

Our oldest took the bus back and forth to college. That worked well for us and him--the bus dropped him off at the building right next to his dorm.

 

[linnylu]

DS is going to school 3 hours away from home. He's a freshman and boy do I miss him. However, I can easily drive to his school next Saturday to see his first marching band performance and then drive home that night.

This scholarship is great- tuition & room for 4 years plus a few other perks. Even with travel it will cost less than an instate school. But there is the distance.

Does anyone know anything about University of Alabama that they might share with us?

 

[Buckalew11]

My niece went to Gettysburg so she was many hours away. She only came home at Christmas and summers. No car with her and no flying. She had flu, mono...ugh. At times it was too far away but she did very well.

I would rather my kid not go that far away but if she did, she's totally prepared to be that far away from home. As it stands, she's likely to be 10 mins away.

 

[furb & dez]

My kids went where they chose. They were adults.

It's not a question of "let". At 18, they were adults and could do what they wanted... on their own dime.

Stunting your ADULT child's choices because of YOUR insecurities seems like a jerk move, no?