Would you let your 11 year old DD do this?

[Planogirl]

If I could swing whatever the cost was, I wouldn't hesitate to let my child go. This is an honor and one of those once in a lifetime chances. For goodness sake, go along if you have to but don't block this chance!

 

[hockeyplayer]

My daughter did do this in August of this year. She had just turned 13. She is not a kid who likes to spend time away from home, but she begged to be allowed to go. We live within 3 hours of DC, so we allowed her to go.

Pros- They did some really neat things, including a teambuilding day at a ropes course and a "Washington at Night" tour. They spent a day at the capitol and at one of the Smithsonian Museums.
My daughter met kids from all over the United States, although she didn't really connect with them at first (very shy). By the end of the week she was having a better time.
It looks good on a resume.
Kids were staying in a hotel. JNSLC staff was posted on every floor throughout the night, and those kids couldn't even poke their heads out of their rooms without being caught - in other words, night time supervision was very strict, which was a good thing. They had a curfew, and if they were being loud in the rooms after curfew, they were told to knock it off and go to bed.
The group leaders were young and enthusiastic. My daughter had a young man in his 20's leading her group, and she said he was really good with the kids.


Cons- In addition to the field trips, which my daughter mostly enjoyed, they spent several hours a day attending lectures. My daughter said these were excruciatingly boring, and a lot of the kids napped through the lecture.
Plan on spending a bundle for a new wardrobe. My kid, who mainly wears jeans and t-shirts, had to buy formal, business and "Business casual" clothes, as well as appropriate (i.e. no sneakers) footwear. The dress code is pretty strict. They made the kids wear long pants for a daytime tour, and it was about 96 degrees at the time.
My kid is a very picky eater. She called me after 2 days crying because she was starving. I thought it was because she was being too choosy, but her room-mates confirmed that the food was pretty awful. (They were allowed to order pizza from a local place, so that's how they solved the problem.)
They discourage parents from staying at the same hotel where the kids are housed, but we went down on Thursday night and stayed until Sunday. (The program runs from a Tuesday until a Sunday.) We saw many other parents there, but parents are not allowed to accompany the children on any of the excursions, nor may they attend any of the events at the hotel conference center.
Although security was tight at night-time, there were times throughout the day when we saw kids roaming unsupervised throughout the hotel complex. They had to wear ID tags at all times, and were forbidden from going on any hotel floor but their own, but....kids will be kids you know.
There was one day when they had to get up at 4:50 a.m. (to travel to the ropes course). My kid is not an early riser, so this didn't go over real well. On the other days, they had to get up around 5:45.
The kids were put into groups that did not include the kids they were rooming with. So even though my daughter developed a good relationship with one of her roommates, they only saw each other at meals and bedtime.


My daughter is standing over my shoulder as a type this, and I asked her whether she would recommend this experience. She said she wouldn't want to do it again, but was glad she had done it once. BTW, she was in the "Life Sciences" program, which is a little different than the other programs - not quite so "politics and government" oriented.

 

[mudnuri]

I can't believe that you would deny your DD such a great educational opportunity/life experience because you are a worry wort.

If you are too clingy, then consider going with her.

boy what a nice way to put it

Brandy

 

[USA Here I Come]

Let her go! This would be an awesome experience for her. I went to France when I was her age (i'm 17 now) with a couple of teachers from school, I had a blast. She'll be ok, promise

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

In the mail today, my DD received an invitation to represent her school by attending the Junior National Young Leaders Conference in Washinton D.C. next spring. This is something for which her teacher nominated her and a couple of other students. It would be 6 days in Washington D.C. with her teacher and the other students.

I'm thrilled that DD's teacher nominated her for this opportunity, but I'm not sure about letting DD go. In fact, I can't imagine it, but DH says I'm way too overprotective and he doens't want to stand in the way of such a wonderful educational opportunity for our DD.

She's in fifth grade and has just turned 11. That seems young to me to be away from home in a big city for nearly a week with just a teacher and a couple of classmates. It's not like sending her to a summer camp, a controlled environment with tons of staff and other kids.

So, what do you think? Would you let your 11 year old DD go on this trip? TIA for your thoughts!

I would NOT let an 11 year old go without a parent, guardian, or trusted friend going. I do not care what anyone says NO ONE watches your child like you do. Tell you DH next time he carries a child and delivers one OR goes through the heck that is adoption etc (depending on the case) then HE can tell you what is and is not over protective!!

 

[twojo21]

my parents sent me on a trip to washington dc in sixth grade with my history teacher, other students & chaperones including a neighbors mom. it was a great experience for me, very educational & fun. we went to the senate, met our senator at the time brown, the white house tour, the holocaust museum which really touched me, the veitnam memorial, the river cruise, the mint, etc. i still remember it fondly years later. so yes when i have a dd or ds i will let them go to washington dc with school.

if youre concerned about safety see if you can attend as a chaperone.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I feel your pain! My DD10 is contemplating spending 3 weeks at a college this summer, so I can relate. Here are the considerations I would have in making such a decision, in random order:

(1) The maturity/adventure level of the child.

(2) The cost factor and if this would be a burden on my family

(3) My comfort level with the chaperones

(4) My comfort level with the overall value/quality of the program

(5) The value of the particular program to the child in question

(6) My gut instinct

For my particular DD, she's pretty adventurous and has an interest in history. She also won the school "Current Events" award last year (I can sense your jealousy from here!). Therefore, a program such as you describe would be right up her alley, although I personally would be bored out of my skull with most of it. She also has a grandmother willing to fund such things. So, I would lean towards "yes", in my case, assuming I was comfortable with the chaperones and so forth. OTOH, I think she'd rather spend the summer studying forensics in the three week program she has open to her--it's even more up her alley, although it would be more time away, more $$, etc.

Really, this is your decision, anything you're told here is strictly outside opinion. We don't know your DD or your situation or your "paranoia level". I happen to be a firm believer in letting kids try all sorts of things because you never know where they'll find their passion, but it was a lot easier when that belief meant signing them up for t-ball and not shipping them off to other places! So, really, I feel your pain.

 

[daisyduck123]

My DD11 (just turned 11 in August) is mature for her age but there's no way I would let her go on this trip unless I could chaperone. A lot of kids are adventurous at this age (she's in 7th grade so the other kids are older) & you just have no idea what could happen.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would let her go! Not every kid would get a chance to do something like that and I would not deny her going if she had the chance....if she wanted to go I sure would let her, but I wouldn't push her if she didn't want to go or was unsure...goodness by that age my nephew was going to sleep away camp for 7 weeks a summer, he always said that he had the time of his life there, I am glad he got to experience that before he passed away at 14!

 

[tiggger1]

A girl that i know went to this. She is also 11. She went to it over the 4th of the July. Her parents had to drive her down to Washington DC. They stayed at the hotel for 2 nights and then drove back to MA and then drove down later to pick her up. The mom was kinda shocked how tough they were with watching the kids. One day they happened to be at a musuem and they say the group. Mom decided to see if she had enough $$ money on her and if she needed more. She approached her daughter and before she could even open her mouth, the group sercurity had separated them and read the mom the riot act until she produced the id that she needed.... after that the mom felt alot better leaving her daughter. Her daughter had a blast and it will look great on her college application...

 

[faith]

You can't be too overprotective in the world we live in today! No way would she go unless I could attend also. My children are grown, but I would have felt the same way 20 years ago.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'm always surprised at how "liberal" I seem about this kind of issue in comparison to so many other people. My daughters have been to summer camp for at least a week since they were in second grade, they've taken school trips with their class and a few teacher chaperones since middle school, and they've been allowed freedoms (within reason) that many of their peers still haven't experienced, beginning with being allowed to go up and pay the check in a restaurant by themselves and progressing (again, within my comfort level) to seeing movies with a friend alone and shopping at our local shopping center (NOT the mall!!!)

As a result, they feel well-traveled, and they are confident and mature. My older DD, now 17, was surprised by how many of her friends couldn't call a restaurant and make a dinner reservation - she's been doing that since the first ninth grade dance because no one else had the nerve!!!!!

I don't mean to imply that parents who hold these reins a little more closely than I do are wong - it's absolutely a personal decision. But I do see lots of my friends hitting this issue at about the same age, and the kids who are allowed to move ahead at their own level of interest and maturity, instead of ALWAYS being told yes or no by parents, seem to be growing into young adults who are a little more successful in maneuvering their way through the high school and college years.

Just my opinion!!

 

[daisyduck123]

Some people have mentioned that some chaperones have seemed very responsible & would totally trust them & I'm sure this is true. I will always be a little leery of even the most trustworthy chaperone (unless I knew them personally). At the end of my junior year, my junior class went on an end of the year trip to the beach with 2 of our teachers as chaperones...well, they bought us all the alcohol we needed. What a party! This was the 1st time I'd ever had alcohol. This was also an exclusive private school...probably the best in the state...definetely the most expensive. 20 years later my parents still don't know about this. I'm just trying to show that you can never totally trust chaperones to watch your kids as well as you would. I know my story is extreme but that's what happened.

 

[palmtreegirl]

I'd let her go, but I'd chaparone........

 

[aprilgail2]

and they've been allowed freedoms (within reason) that many of their peers still haven't experienced, beginning with being allowed to go up and pay the check in a restaurant by themselves

I recently went out to lunch with a friend of my daughters and her mother...my daughter is 5 and hers is 6 and I was shocked that the mother actually ordered for the child..."she will have the chicken nuggent kids meal and a milk"....Since my daughter could talk I have made her order her own food in a restuarant...I always told her if she didn't order for herself then she didn't eat. I have seen parents with kids in 5th grade who order for them...what is up with that???? If we are in a restuarant where you have to go up to the counter to pay I give my daughter the money and she goes up and pays the bill...its good to teach them to be independant about things. I had a friend who at 21 didn't even know how to order in arestaurant for himself because his parents did it for him all the time, didn't know how to tip etc...I even taught my daughter how to figure out the 20 percent of the tab to figure out the tip for herself!

 

[horseshowmom]

If they can show you how well everything will be supervised and the cost isn't a hindrance, then I'd do it.

 

[TDC Nala]

I've seen a lot of these kids' programs wandering around town (lots of them take tours at the building where I work) and they watch the kids like a hawk. I wouldn't be too worried that they won't be watched.

However, I don't know when they started doing major travel programs like this for 11 year olds. I'd think 13 or 14 would be old enough but I don't know about 11.

Come on out when she's traveling here and have a vacation. There's a lot to see and do in Washington and you can check on the kid.

 

[DVCLiz]

I recently went out to lunch with a friend of my daughters and her mother...my daughter is 5 and hers is 6 and I was shocked that the mother actually ordered for the child..."she will have the chicken nuggent kids meal and a milk"....Since my daughter could talk I have made her order her own food in a restuarant...I always told her if she didn't order for herself then she didn't eat. I have seen parents with kids in 5th grade who order for them...what is up with that???? If we are in a restuarant where you have to go up to the counter to pay I give my daughter the money and she goes up and pays the bill...its good to teach them to be independant about things. I had a friend who at 21 didn't even know how to order in arestaurant for himself because his parents did it for him all the time, didn't know how to tip etc...I even taught my daughter how to figure out the 20 percent of the tab to figure out the tip for herself!

Obviously, I totally agree!!!!!

I do think this is part of the process that begins with feeding your newborn and ends with their college graduation. And everyone has differnet ideas about when these freedoms should occur. I know some parents, like me, are always looking for new opportunities to let their children grow away from parental oversight. It's very hard to do sometimes, though!! Other parents, like many of my friends, are holding very tight to some of those decisions, and more than one of my friends has said, "I know she'd like to go to (camp, baseball camp, class trip, etc.) but I'm just not ready to let her be away!!" I think those parents are doing a disservice to their children.

I didn't answer the OP's question - yes, I would let DD11 go on this trip. I also don't get parents who say things like "You never can be too careful!" There's a risk in EVERYTHING - from spending the night with a friend (pedophile uncle comes to visit) to swimming in the ocean (great white attack.) How uncomfortable it must be to be a child in a family like that - always seeing the danger in everything and not having the maturity to realize that MOST of the time, these tragedies are isolated cases and not something to worry about in everyday life.

 

[daisyduck123]

How uncomfortable it must be to be a child in a family like that - always seeing the danger in everything and not having the maturity to realize that MOST of the time, these tragedies are isolated cases and not something to worry about in everyday life.

Hey, it's not "sad" that I wouldn't let my child attend this trip. I call it responsible parenting. The questions was "Would you let your DD11 attend this trip?" Well I have a DD11 & my answer is "no". She stated that this is a 6 day trip, half way up the east coast....too far & too long. My child could go only if DH or I went along. I'm surpised the school isn't asking each child to bring a parent.

 

[Steffi]

Thank you all for your input; it's very much appreciated. I'm still undecided as to what to do, but I guess I am leaning towards not letting her go this year.

We don't know DD's teacher that well, as DD is at a new school this year. It would be like letting DD go with a very casual acquaintance.

If DH or I were able to chaperone, I would let DD go in a heartbeat, but the trip is expensive, over $1600. We could probably afford to send DD, but, at that price, we couldn't afford for DH or I to accompany her.

I'm not against sending her on cool school trips in a couple of years, not at all. I got to go to Spain and Morocco for two weeks on a school trip when I was 14 and I had the time of my life. I would definitely want DD to have a similar experience when she's a bit older and better able to take care of herself. I worry because I remember how little us kids were actually chaperoned during our jaunts around Spain. We were allowed to roam around Madrid and other cities alone for over 8 hours with nobody knowing where we were. Two kids got robbed. Many kids spent the entire two weeks drunk. No, I'm not worried about any of that happening to DD while in D.C., I'm just illustrating how little supervision that this group of 13 & 14 years olds had while we were on a school trip being "chaperoned" by our teacher and her sister.

Thanks again for all of the input and advice; it's been very helpful!