Would you let a 4 yr old use bathrooms alone?

[Kat&Dom]

I am a single mom and my son is 4 1/2 and we are heading to Disney in 26 days. I realized yesterday that my baby is going up so quickly. We were out shopping last night and he had to go to the Bathroom, we got over to where the bathrooms were located and he said to me - "Which is the Men's bathroom - so I pointed it to him. He pushed the door open - went inside, I heard him flush the toilet, wash and dry his hands then he came out. I was so proud of him.

I got thinking if I should let him use the men`s washrooms at Disney by himself or not. I know that I don`t feel comfortable with him using a Wal-Mart bathroom by himself but I am on the fence about Disney. I am wondering what other parents have done. It is such a difficult line between letting them be independent and keeping them safe so I would appreciate some honest opinions.

I also realize that this could be a hot topic so I would appreciate everyone showing respect for all opinions given. Please do not belittle or insult anyone in this post for how they chose to parent. I don`t want this thread to get out of control like I have seen some threads get. I just really need some great input to help me decide.

My ex left when my son was 18 months old so my son was completely potty trained by me - he has never used an urinal and his father only sees him about an hour a month so would not be useful in this situation. So I would really appreciate some dad opinions too. Thanks!

 

[scottish mum]

Personally I think 4 is too young to be going to the bathroom themselves. What if the lock of the door is stiff and they can't open it or they need some "help". I know my 5 yr old sometimes needs some help wiping or even just reaching the soap or sinks. Also at a ange place I would like to be able to keep an eye on them at all times

 

[stsomewhere]

I would take him to the womens' or find a family restroom.

 

[MickeyHereWeCome!]

Personally, I think four is too young to use a Disney bathroom by himself. There are just too many people coming and going for me to feel comfortable. A 4-yo might not feel comfortable asking for help from a stranger (reaching the soap, water or paper towel, etc.). As independent as my kids were/are at four, they still need help in public at times. My 6 yo and 4 yo dss have no choice but to go into the ladies room with me (or a family bathroom) if dad isn't around.

 

[mjkacmom]

I let my boys start going into the mens room around 5 or 6, depending upon the venue (and ds7 can't go into reststop mens rooms if ds isn't with him).

 

[dizneechic]

I feel uncomfortable letting my 8 y/o (and still don't depending on where we are) and wont let my 6.5 y/o, no way I would let a 4 y/o. I know all of mine are fully capable but it's the other people out there I don't trust.

I do feel kind of awkward now bringing my 8 y/o in a female public restroom, but safety is my priority so we try to make sure the need doesn't arise (ie go before we go anywhere), and if he does need to go we hunt for a family rest room or small single stall type vs large multi person one.

 

[CaptDadSparrow]

As a dad this is a tough choice as mine is 5. However, since she was three, she knows the deal. I take her by the hand, she closes her eyes until we get into a stall. Then she doesn't touch anything so she doesn't have to wash her hands after.

 

[MomofSixinSC]

Perhaps my viewpoint is jaded because I know too much about pedophiles due to a job dh had. I say 4yo is much to young to go to a restroom alone.

 

[maxiesmom]

I would take him to the womens' or find a family restroom.

WDW does not have Family Restrooms, they have Companion Assisted Restrooms. They are meant for people who need help using the toilet and cannot fit into a regular or handicapped stall. They are not listed on the park maps, so they are not that easy to find.

At 4yrs old I would take your son into the womens restroom with you. Not necessarily because of not wanting him to use the mens room alone, but because I don't know what you would do with him when you have to use the facilities. Might as well just take him in with you and kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

 

[rodeo65]

Nope, I wouldn't let either of ours at 4 on their own. If DD was alone with DH he took her into the men's room, same with DS and me in the ladies. Family of course is great if you can find them.

Even now at 7 & 8 I wait right outside the door or in a restaurant, I request a table in full veiw of the door and path to it.

At Akershus last June, DH wasn't feeling well so missed our breakfast. I requested and was seated in view of the door to the restrooms. DS left to use the men's and about two minutes later a very large boy of about 14 or so came running out of the mens room like he'd been attacked, screaming at the top of his lungs; something I couldn't understand.

I panicked so much with visions of an axe murderer having gone on a spree in there and that he was reacting to something horrible that I bolted from the table leaving my then 6 yr old DD alone at the table and ran for the men's room. The manager beat me there and went in, and was checking the room when I came crashing in behind him. DS was fine, in a stall and when he came out said the boy had just started screaming and ran out of the room. That just reinforced to me that even now at 7 and almost 9, I have to be very close at hand - preferably just outside the door. It turned out to be nothing other than the boy's own fears about something he thought he saw, but that was more of that kind of excitement than I want again.

 

[Karebear]

Also, sometimes restrooms have 2 exits and not just 1 and your son might go out the "other" exit and be seperated from you. My son is 6 and I still take him with me when we go to places such as Disneyland or Legoland. He doesn't like it, but I tell him that he needs to go to the "mommy bathroom" with me unless my husband is there to take him to the mens.

 

[Lidian]

I have a 4 year old son as well. I always take him into the ladies room when he needs to do his business in public. I, personally, would not feel comfortable letting him use a public restroom alone. Sometimes, he can't reach the paper towels to dry his hands, or the soap. And with all the various types of sinks and paper towel dispensors/hand dryers, he can't always figure out how to turn them on. (He has trouble with the motion sensor things with his height.)

Do what you feel best for your son. And don't let anyone upset you over your decision.

(Plus, I worry about "stranger danger" in public places ... and I wouldn't want my son to be taken advantage of while he was out of my sight. Yes, I am a very over-protective and paranoid mother.)

 

[Luv Bunnies]

DS left to use the men's and about two minutes later a very large boy of about 14 or so came running out of the mens room like he'd been attacked, screaming at the top of his lungs; something I couldn't understand.

Sound like something my DS14 might do! He has Asperger's and sometimes gets freaked out at the smallest thing like seeing someone he knows where he didn't expect to see them or someone accidently bumping into him. Perhaps the boy you saw had some similar disability.

As for letting a 4 year old go into the men's room alone, I wouldn't do it. There are too many variables. I never have a problem with woman who bring young boys into the ladies room.

 

[Sugar Jones]

Nope. I still don't let my almost 8 & 6 year olds go into them men's room alone. IF there are no family washrooms I take them into the womens.

 

[rodeo65]

Sound like something my DS14 might do! He has Asperger's and sometimes gets freaked out at the smallest thing like seeing someone he knows where he didn't expect to see them or someone accidently bumping into him. Perhaps the boy you saw had some similar disability.


Later, after my heart re-started I assumed that was a good possibility, but in the split second he first came running out, it never crossed my mind - I saw Freddy, Jason, Michael and the mask from Scream first. Think I was raised on too many horror films.

 

[crisi]

Four and a half was about the age where my son started using bathrooms himself in spots we trusted. Disney bathrooms are busy, and therefore bad places for pedophiles. But its going to depend on the four and a half year old. I can't imagine my kids needing "help" at four and a half with the actual task - and I'm not opposed to letting them go and squirting their hands with sanitizer when they come out if they can't reach the sinks, but kids have a wide variety of developmental skills. My son has always been "all business" in the bathroom and not a ditzer....in and out. And he would have been offended to have been reduced to the ladies room at that age. And parents have a wide range of comfort levels.

But four and a half is still a fine age for bringing your kid into the ladies room.

 

[kidshop]

I was going to ask if a 4 1/2 y/o would know how to wait nicely in line in a crowded restroom...but this is for a men's restroom and there aren't lines, right? I could just see an unsupervised kid crawling on the floor looking under the stalls.

IMO, a 4 y/o needs supervision at all times.

I would never look twice at a mom bringing even much older boys into a ladies room. Nothing to see in there anyway and anyone under teen age is fine with me!

 

[SewingMom]

My son is 4 and I wouldn't let him go in alone. I worry way too much about what could happen.

 

[chrisn]

This is my opinion only but 4 is WAY too young and please be aware that there are pedophiles and child predators everywhere, even at the happiest place on earth. My DS went with me to the ladies room when he was that young. If daddy was around, daddy took him.

Honestly, I took him into the ladies until he was about 7-8 and yes it got a little awkward at the end, but nobody ever said anything to me and sorry, but my child's safety and well being is more important anyway.

Even when he started going alone, I stood outside the door and listened. Sometimes I would call to him if he was in there too long.

He is 12 now and of course goes to the mens room but even now I am still wary. My nephew is now 7-8 and we stand outside the door listening just like we did for my DS.

It's a scary world out there and it's best to play it safe.

 

[Minniemama350]

4 is too young to go alone. Even if you watched the door like a hawk, something could go wrong. Not to mention, the hygiene issues. I taught pre-k for awhile. The kids needed supervision in the bathroom. If I got distracted, their hands were in the sink and lots of other places!A wet wipe does not get everything!