Would you let a 20 yo driver drive your kids?

[KellyNY]

OK, here is the story. My DD(17) was invited by her friend to go to Six Flags over Spring Break(just a day trip). There should be 7 people all together, they have a big car. I was OK with that, I was taking girls to Six Flags before(much smaller group) and I would trust another parent drive all the way(4 hours total if no traffic). Yesterday, my DD told me that instead of father, girls brother (19 or 20, not sure) will drive. Now I am in doubts. The road has 70 miles limit and many cars drive even faster. I am afraid that a young boy will be distructed by all the OMGs from 6 girls, I could barely stand it when I drove them and I am not sure how long he is driving and how responsible he is, esp. on the way back, it will be dark. What do you think? Am I unreasonable or make sence. Would you let your child go on such trip? Please, I need some opinions. Thank you.

 

[kaytieeldr]

How big a car? If it's not a minivan or SUV, I'd say "no" just based on lack of sufficient seat belts - no standard passenger sedan seats seven people safely.

How would you - and how would your daughter - feel about you calling the mother and asking about the brother's driving experience? I mean, he's probably had his license for three or four years; no matter what your state's laws might be about driving with passengers, he's exceeded that age and should be safe. Do you know him at all? Do you feel he's responsible?

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I probably would. I wouldn't care for it a lot, but I would probably allow it. My kids have always been in college courses at that age, and I figure that they need to be allowed to make most of their own choices.

I sure wouldn't blame a parent for deciding not to allow it, though.

 

[MizTink]

OK, here is the story. My DD(17) was invited by her friend to go to Six Flags over Spring Break(just a day trip). There should be 7 people all together, they have a big car. I was OK with that, I was taking girls to Six Flags before(much smaller group) and I would trust another parent drive all the way(4 hours total if no traffic). Yesterday, my DD told me that instead of father, girls brother (19 or 20, not sure) will drive. Now I am in doubts. The road has 70 miles limit and many cars drive even faster. I am afraid that a young boy will be distructed by all the OMGs from 6 girls, I could barely stand it when I drove them and I am not sure how long he is driving and how responsible he is, esp. on the way back, it will be dark. What do you think? Am I unreasonable or make sence. Would you let your child go on such trip? Please, I need some opinions. Thank you.

i wouldn't. but i'm also way paranoid and over protective!!!

 

[eliza61]

OK, here is the story. My DD(17) was invited by her friend to go to Six Flags over Spring Break(just a day trip). There should be 7 people all together, they have a big car. I was OK with that, I was taking girls to Six Flags before(much smaller group) and I would trust another parent drive all the way(4 hours total if no traffic). Yesterday, my DD told me that instead of father, girls brother (19 or 20, not sure) will drive. Now I am in doubts. The road has 70 miles limit and many cars drive even faster. I am afraid that a young boy will be distructed by all the OMGs from 6 girls, I could barely stand it when I drove them and I am not sure how long he is driving and how responsible he is, esp. on the way back, it will be dark. What do you think? Am I unreasonable or make sence. Would you let your child go on such trip? Please, I need some opinions. Thank you.

Sadly (at least for your daughter) kelly, I'm going to agree with you on this one. It's not the age but 7 teens in a car going to Great adventures may be more than I could handle.
My son is 19 and got his license in NJ last May (late bloomer. ) anyway the first year he has a restricted DL which means he cannot drive after 11 or 12 and he cannot have more than 1 other teen passenger in the car.
The 2nd rule was specifically in response to distractive driving.

I'm in south Jersey, great adventures is maybe 4 exits up the turnpike from my house and I'd probably offer to drive.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I'm usually on the really lenient side, but this one, I'm leaning toward no. WAYYY too many teenagers in the car.

 

[MushyMushy]

I have a 19 year old driver and there's no way I'd support him taking a car/van full of teens on a 4-hour trip! They're enough of a distraction for experienced drivers, let alone a teenager.

So my answer would probably be no. I'd find a way to try to compromise, such as taking her myself or something, but I don't think I'd allow my daughter to go. And then I'd go hide in a fallout bunker.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Hmm, I'd probably be a little leary. Especially if I didn't know this boy well or how he drove. I'd be concerned too that he would be distracted by a car load of teenage girls.

DH and I were in college, we were 21 at the time. Anyhow, a younger friend (19) gave us a ride somewhere. He drove 90 miles an hour and I was in total fear for my life the entire time! The more I begged him to slow down, the faster he went and thought it was hilarious. DH told him to either slow down or pull over because we were getting out. It was crazy. We never drove with him again. So I guess that's why I'd feel nervous if it were my DD. But of course, that doesn't mean the situation is the same and perhaps this other boy is an excellent driver. Is there a way for you to speak with his parents maybe and tell them your concerns?

 

[lovesmurfs]

I am afraid that a young boy will be distructed by all the OMGs from 6 girls, I could barely stand it when I drove them and I am not sure how long he is driving and how responsible he is, esp. on the way back, it will be dark. What do you think? Am I unreasonable or make sence. Would you let your child go on such trip? Please, I need some opinions. Thank you.

I'm sure the boy will disagree on being distructed by girls! Sorry, struck me as funny.

To answer your question, I don't think you're being overprotective -- it's too far, there's too many, and he's too young.

 

[5lilfish]

I have 5 kids but my olderst is only 12. I am no tthe overprotective type at all...but this would not sit well with me. I'm not sure I could say yes. Are there any other alternatives. Would it be impossible for you to offer to drive? I know 4 hrs is a long way to go to simply drop kids off.

Jess

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Difficult decision.

When I was 19/20...I was driving my sister and her friend to Busch Gardens from Jax.

I ended up driving over the drive shaft of a garbage truck that had just fallen off of his truck just outside of Tampa. AT the time we ddin't know what it was. For some reason, I have had oddly good instinct and in the end it was very good decision to drive over it b/c due to its size, any atempt to swerve and miss would have caused me to flip the car. My car was disabled by the incident and undriveable.

So keep in mind--young drivers are inexperienced. I was. Her parents were fine in the end as I did what was needed to keep us safe. But she was home well after she was supposed to be (we finally got back to Jax at 7am the following morning) and the same incident with another driver or me reacting differently could have had quite devestating results. I never knew she wasn't buckled in her seatbelt.

Odds are that nothing bad will happpen, but odds increase that something will with the age of the driver.

I was driving a Camaro at the time.

 

[lspst8]

My sister routinely acted as a carpool person for our church youth group when she was in college. She was a summer intern youth pastor between the ages of 18 and 23, and she frequently had to drive carloads of kids anywhere from 1 hour to 5 hours for trips. As far as I know, no one had any problems with it.

Now, the parents all knew her, and she is pretty responsible. She also wasn't afraid to tell the kids (middle school and high school aged kids) to shut up.

 

[Pakey]

I raised 3 boys (youngest is now 29) and I would NEVER EVER allow my children to ride with a 20 year old.

I will not tell you the combined number of accidents (and totalled vehicles) our 3 sons had between the ages of 16-25.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

LOL, if they are poor drivers, then that would be a problem. We've not had any accidents with a 24, 22, 18 and 16 year old sons.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm on the fence. It would depend on the experience and driving record of the driver. In this area people routinely get their driver's licences when they are 16 so this fellow might have four years driving under his belt already. Not a lot but if his record is clean and he seems like a nice guy...

I don't know, I'm still on the fence. Keep in mind that many 17 year olds will be off to college in another year and then they might take rides from anyone.

 

[KellyNY]

Thank you for responces. I do not know this boy, I do not really know his sister as well. They go to same HS but she is not close friend with my DD, just a friend. What I can tell from what my DD told me, the girl is an air head, as she suggested to invite more people and someone to sit on a someones lap I do not think her parents will allow car to leave this way, I hope. It does not really mean the boy is air head too but I cannot really say anything. I can call and ask about how many years he drives and what kind of car but does it change the fact that girls will talk a lot and he will be distructed. I told my DD yesterday that I am not comfortable, she did not scream but was upset. I really do not want to make a trip to Six Flags, I drove kids in August and really hoped this time will be another parent turn to suffer.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Thank you for responces. I do not know this boy, I do not really know his sister as well. They go to same HS but she is not close friend with my DD, just a friend. What I can tell from what my DD told me, the girl is an air head, as she suggested to invite more people and someone to sit on a someones lap I do not think her parents will allow car to leave this way, I hope. It does not really mean the boy is air head too but I cannot really say anything. I can call and ask about how many years he drives and what kind of car but does it change the fact that girls will talk a lot and he will be distructed. I told my DD yesterday that I am not comfortable, she did not scream but was upset. I really do not want to make a trip to Six Flags, I drove kids in August and really hoped this time will be another parent turn to suffer.

You should go with your gut, with what you're comfortable with. Personally, I wouldn't let my DD go especially if you don't know this family. Good luck though!

 

[luvmy3]

Forgive me if this has been said already but I believe its now illegal in NY for there to be more than 1 minor in the car when the driver is under 21. I know I just read something in the paper recently about it because I was thinking what my dd would do if I needed her to drive her two brothers around.

ETA, I found the articlel. It says driver's with a junior license or permit will be limited to one non family member under the age of 21 in the car unless they are accompanied by an adult.
Looks like I remembered it all wrong.

 

[Mandychelle79]

When I was 17 I was the one hauling around 6 other teens in my parents van. When I was 16 ( and not allowed by law to drive after midnight) my parents let a friend of mine drive my car home from a concert since she was over 18. About 15 miles into the trip, I made her pull over and I would drive since I had more experience driving and felt safer (she was all over the road...). Im sure if I would have been caught my parents would have fought for me.

So if it were my child and the 19 yr old has been driving for 2 or 3 yrs I probably wouldnt think anything of it.

 

[dis-happy]

In these situations I ask myself if my child's life is worth the slight inconvenience of driving myself. Needless to say, I would just drive.

Another thing no one has mentioned: fully loaded cars with 7 people drive differently than a car with just a couple of people. I would worry about inexperience of the driver in this scenario as well. It's much easier to flip a fully loaded car with a couple of wrong moves.