Would you leave your 13 year old home alone...

[PigletsPal2]

Putting on flame suit: I don't think anyone can answer this question outside of his/her own experience. In the 80's we were living in Istanbul and DH had to go to a 4-day conference in Rome and invited me for my birthday. I asked DD#2 (age 13) which of our adult friends she wanted to come stay with her. Her answer was an emphatic "NONE" and a well-thought-out, reasoned argument why she could stay by herself: She was very mature for 13, we had never had reason to worry about her, she loved school, so there was no worry about her skipping, she could cook, so she could make her own meals, she had her homework, music and videos to keep her occupied, our apartment building was well-guarded, and our boss lived down the hill. (She had babysat for their little one, so she knew them well.) Phil agreed to check on her every day and I called her every evening (usually interrupting whatever she was doing!)

When we got home, she was glad to see us, but not in an anxious way. She said her biggest worry was that she would run out of Cokes before Phil brought another case up to the house! Later in life (she's now 37!) she thanked us for trusting her to stay alone as it really increased her self-confidence (never low to begin with!).

So bottom line - it depends on the kid, the parents and the circumstances. Removing flame suit.

Queen Colleen

 

[jen0610]

I wouldn't even think twice about leaving a 13 year old home alone for a DAY, but NOT overnight. We left DS17 home alone overnight when he was able to drive and will do the same with the twins.

Our kids have been staying home alone for a few hours here and there since they were in about 3rd grade so it isn't about being a helicopter parent by any means.

The bolded part is our rule. Once DS15 can drive himself to the store, ER, Grandparents (if needed), then and only then would he be left alone over night while I was out of town. If he doesn't get his drivers license until he is 17/18, to bad - he is not staying by himself until he can drive himself where he may need to go. The same goes for DD.

 

[Pixiedust34]

No. 13 is too young to leave home alone overnight.

Our 13 yo stays home alone for a few hours now and then, but not for overnight and not for longer than a few hours.

 

[SC Minnie]

DD15 has her drivers license but I wouldn't leave her overnight by herself. She will tell you she isn't ready. She will stay home alone when we go out for several hours but she doesn't like being home alone late at night. We probably wouldn't leave her alone until she had graduated from high school.

 

[Pigeon]

No, I wouldn't leave a 13 year old alone overnight.

 

[disneyfans95]

We have 11 year old son, 10 year old daugher.

Not for an overnight.

We do let the 11 year old come home from school alone and stay there till we are home from work (about 2 hours alone).

I would trust him overnight, but I don't think he would be comfortable and might be a scared, so we would not do it.

 

[Freyja]

No, I wouldn´t. Even though I have the nicest neighbors who I know would keep an eye on her. A couple of months ago DH and I went to a party with my co-workers and we stayed in a hotel overnight. It was one night, we were 2 hours away and and both my DD (13) and DS (15, 16 this year) were home. The neighbors knew we were gone and promised to check in on them. Everything went fine. However, I wouldn´t yet leave them for 3 days, and no way would I leave the 13 yr old alone for 3 nights.

 

[drag n' fly]

No. Even when we took ds7 for FD we left our other 2 kids 13 and 15 (at the time) in the care of my Mom. We were not worried about what they would do but what if something happened to the house or some kids in the school or neighbourhood found out they were home alone. I have seen stories in the news where kids swarm a house where parents are away and totally destroy it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Putting on flame suit: I don't think anyone can answer this question outside of his/her own experience.

I won't flame you at all. The vast majority of today's 13 year olds are not capable of handling this and therefore I would never suggest to someone else that their kid SHOULD stay home overnight alone. However, it sounds like your kid knew what she was doing and was comfortable with the situation and you made a good decision. Honestly my 13 year old could handle it from the standpoint of she knows how to get places, handles emergencies like broken pipes and illness as well as I do, cooks, etc but she is not comfortable sleeping when we are not home (fear of not hearing a fire alarm--she did sleep through them when she was little and then 2 years ago some girls she new died in an early morning fire) so it would not be good to leave her alone for those reasons. Other kids (like yours) can and do handle these things jsut fine.