Would you leave a 9-year-old while you go on a ride?

[trainingupmy4princes]

Not the OP, but I would expect any nine year old of mine to do what we'd previously discussed and speak to the nearest CM at either the ride exit or in the gift shop. Said nine year old, these days, would also have a cellphone on her person, so could call me to check on why the ride was taking longer than expected (assuming I hadn't called her already myself to let her know that the ride had broken down). Even my more sensitive child could handle a little bit of worry/anxiety - it never hurt her to deal with the occasional wrench in the works.

If a CM is worried, I expect they'll speak to the child and she'll explain that I'm on the ride and she's waiting for me. The CM then might get on their radio to find out what the problem is with the ride, and reassure my child. No problem!

If a guest is worried, then I expect they'd speak to a CM about it and things would proceed as above. Most adults know not to speak to a lone child. But, in the event some adult did feel free to start a conversation, by nine my children knew how to tell when an adult was being overly familiar or inappropriate in any way. (We rode public transit a LOT. And dealt with special needs individuals a LOT.) If the child feels in any way uncomfortable, she knows she's to walk over to the nearest CM and stick close to them. Because, of course, before allowing the child to wait by herself, we'll have discussed all these scenarios.

Nine year olds are pretty darn smart, most of them.

And actually, my son was far more sensible at nine, than he was at 14 after his hormones kicked in hard. That's when he started doing things like forgetting his pants at school. I used to swear, I thought he'd lost 30 IQ points overnight!

(Caveat: Of course, not all nine year olds are mature enough to handle being unsupervised for any length of time. And parental preference always trumps logic. It's like when you make your kids wear sweaters because you're feeling cold - some things don't need to be justified!)

I haven't seen one of my DS's PE clothes all year (they're supposed to bring them home to wash every week) as he keeps forgetting. I'm pretty sure I may not even want him to bring them home at the end of the year.

 

[Slapshot1188]

I certainly don't believe I'm a parenting expert of any kind, nor do I think kids will be maladjusted or not self sufficient if they aren't allowed to wait alone in a theme park at 9 years old.

That said, from everything I've learned about child development as a teacher and a parent, yes I do believe it is harmful to a child's development to *never* leave them unattended. Not letting a child ever play in a room alone? Or take a nap alone? Or play in their backyard alone? Ever? That is an extreme that I do believe *could* negatively affect a child's view of the world to the point that they *could* have issues navigating the world on their own as an adult without anxiety. (emphasis on *could* as I'm not saying it's a definite at all, as - again - I'm not an expert and don't claim to be).

I think there is a pretty big difference between letting your kid take a nap and leaving her alone in a theme park while taking a ride. If you see them as the same thing then go for it. We are each responsible for making those decisions for our children. So far I like the way mine have worked out.

 

[Sammie]

No way, no how.

Another Disney theme park security guard has been busted in a child sex sting operation in central Florida this week, making it the fourth time overall that a Disney security officer has been charged with pedophilia.
http://disneyhub.blogspot.com/2016/04/another-disney-security-officer-busted.html

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

YES!!! I feel like this is my son to a T!!! I like to call this age "stuck in stupid". For instance, I asked him to take laundry down on Saturday morning, at like 4pm I realized it still wasn't done, so I called him downstairs and said, "What did I ask you to do?" He didn't have a clue. Then he says, "Did you know that your mind discards information it considers useless?" Facepalm!

My son's mind must think a lot of information is useless then.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I think there is a pretty big difference between letting your kid take a nap and leaving her alone in a theme park while taking a ride. If you see them as the same thing then go for it. We are each responsible for making those decisions for our children. So far I like the way mine have worked out.

I thought I made it pretty clear that I didn't see them as the same thing in a few posts over the course of the last few pages. Especially in this one (See bolded):

So my child should never be allowed to play in her playroom alone (with me in a different room on the same floor, in hearing distance, with everything appropriately childproofed)? She should never be able to lie down for a nap alone? Never allowed to play in a fenced in backyard that she cannot get out of (on a dead end cul de sac street) unless I'm outside with her (regardless of being able to see her through the window)? These are all age appropriate moments for independence.

Whether or not someone considers it age appropriate to leave a 9 year old unattended for a few minutes in public is subjective, I grant that. But *never* leaving a child unattended, ever? That's not something I will ever understand.

The taking a nap part came from someone saying they would *never* leave a child unattended ever, which is what prompted me to ask that. The response to my question was referring to those examples (playroom, naptime, backyard) as "free ranging".

Letting a child play in a playroom alone while you're in another room on the same floor is hardly free range parenting, which is why I responded to that with the post you quoted, and why I again made it clear that I was not likening my examples to the theme park example of the OP.

Which is why I said:

nor do I think kids will be maladjusted or not self sufficient if they aren't allowed to wait alone in a theme park at 9 years old.

Not leaving a child alone in a theme park isn't going to make a child maladjusted. But never leaving them alone *ever*? Yes, that can, in my very humble non-expert opinion, have negative affects on a child's development.

I wasn't judging anyone for not leaving their child alone in a theme park. Not sure what else I can say to make that clear.

 

[Slapshot1188]

Not leaving a child alone in a theme park isn't going to make a child maladjusted. But never leaving them alone *ever*? Yes, that can, in my very humble non-expert opinion, have negative affects on a child's development.

I wasn't judging anyone for not leaving their child alone in a theme park. Not sure what else I can say to make that clear.

As this is the Disney World forum I suggest EVERYONE simply sticks to the Disney World topic and not worry about how anyone else parents at home.

 

[Angel Ariel]

As this is the Disney World forum I suggest EVERYONE simply sticks to the Disney World topic and not worry about how anyone else parents at home.

Even you just said that leaving a child to nap in a room is not the same thing. Which is what my point was. I'm not sure why that's so offensive, but I apologize for offending you.

 

[Kimberly9701]

I'm not judging anyone for not leaving a child unattended. That's a personal choice. I also think circumstances need to be considered case by case.

In this specific case-
I do think coming on this thread to exclaim the horror of the thought is a tad over the top.

The comparison of playing in a backyard, or leaving a child safely, with a phone, in a gift shop, for 5-10 minutes to that child being "free range" is absurd. Absolutely.

And to people who are saying "A family travels together stays together at all times" or "A child should never be left unattended, ever!", also absurd.

If someone posts a topic either respond to it or not. But to respond in a tone like those I mentioned above is just above and beyond what is needed or wanted I'm sure.

 

[3DisneyFanz]

I guess my parents were just terrible people and I'm lucky to have survived. I wasn't 9 yet when they started letting me run around Tom Sawyer Island by myself while they went to the Golden Horshoe Revue.

 

[AdamEfimoff]

Planning a trip for me and my two kids. My 9 year old does not do any big rides - like not even Splash or 7DMT. My 13 year old loves them, and I feel bad thinking about him ride them all by himself. I was thinking maybe for some rides I could go on with him and leave my daughter at the exit of the ride where we will be coming out? Obviously not if it's a long wait, but say 10-15 min. Max. What do you think??

The short answer is no you should not

 

[Slapshot1188]

I'm not judging anyone for not leaving a child unattended.

OK....

You don't need a psychology degree to know that catering to a stubborn child, enabling and coddling a fear, can in no way benefit them.

I don't consider a child playing in a back yard with neighbors, or waiting for 5 minutes while their sibling and mother ride a rollercoaster, exactly high up on the "free range" scale.
But, whatever you need to say to justify irrational fears is acceptable I guess.

To each their own.

You can't raise children to be afraid of everything and anything.

If parents cater to irrational fears and stubbornness by punishing the other child, then what kind of theme are you setting for your younger one? What kind of needy/demanding/dependent/fearful human are you creating?

Nope... doesn't sound judgmental at all...

 

[Kimberly9701]

OK....










Nope... doesn't sound judgmental at all...

...I was very specific in my response by saying "I am not judging anyone for not leaving a child unattended."
Because, nope, that's not what I'm judging. What I thought I made clear in my previous posts- is that I am in fact responding to irrational fears, irrational thoughts, irrational statements.. And yes completely off base ridiculous proclamations and statistics.

 

[Slapshot1188]

...I was very specific in my response by saying "I am not judging anyone for not leaving a child unattended."
Because, nope, that's not what I'm judging. What I thought I made clear in my previous posts- is that I am in fact responding to irrational fears, irrational thoughts, irrational statements.. And yes completely off base ridiculous proclamations and statistics.

 

[famy27]

It also appears that the victims in the Typhoon Lagoon case and the target that was used in the sting were all teenagers. So, wouldn't that mean that the 13 yo would be more of a likely target than the nine yo? Why is it considered acceptable to put the 13 yo at "risk"?

Again, if the parent and both children are fine with the arrangement, there is no safety reason not to do it. If they don't feel comfortable, that would be different. Posting "worst case scenario" articles and links of things aren't the least bit likely to happen is probably not super-helpful. I've never gone on BTMRR, monorail, or parking lot tram threads and posted links to fatal accidents that have occurred on all of those things (even though they have happened), as the chance of any of those things taking place is so exceedingly small.

 

[mjkacmom]

My point is that Disney, as much as we would like, is still part of the real world. My oldest is actually turning 18 in June. He's a pretty impressive kid if I do say so myself but thanks for the advice anyhow!

Guess we will just take your word for it! And I truly do think that kids who have not been given opportunities to become independent will most likely struggle in adulthood. Colleges are reporting this very thing. A decade or so ago, 9 year olds were riding bikes all over town, gone from sunup to sundown. Now, 9 year olds are not using restrooms of their gender, and are being pushed around in strollers at theme parks. It's creating a generation of wussies (sp).

 

[Slapshot1188]

Guess we will just take your word for it! And I truly do think that kids who have not been given opportunities to become independent will most likely struggle in adulthood. Colleges are reporting this very thing. A decade or so ago, 9 year olds were riding bikes all over town, gone from sunup to sundown. Now, 9 year olds are not using restrooms of their gender, and are being pushed around in strollers at theme parks. It's creating a generation of wussies (sp).

If a decade ago 9 year olds were riding bikes all over town, wouldn't they be the kids in college that you say are reporting that students are struggling with adulthood?
My kids sure grew up riding their bikes around, but that's not really the same thing to me.

To turn this around on you... I would say that by CATERING to both children here (one wants to go on a ride and one doesn't) is the mentality "creating a generation of wussies", where everyone is a special snowflake. I'm the adult. I decide if WE will go on the ride or if WE will not. That's MY take on it, but I would never, EVER criticize someone for making a different decision. Each of us has the responsibility to make those choices for our kids.

 

[bumbershoot]

No way, no how.

Another Disney theme park security guard has been busted in a child sex sting operation in central Florida this week, making it the fourth time overall that a Disney security officer has been charged with pedophilia.
http://disneyhub.blogspot.com/2016/04/another-disney-security-officer-busted.html

From what I've read about these stings, these people are being arrested for what, to me, seem like thought crimes. Nothing bad has actually happened. No child is in danger in the stings. I am supremely uncomfortable with these sort of things. And I feel that it's important to understand exactly what these stings mean.

I'm not saying that they would not do something awful at another point in time. But they are not being arrested for doing anything but chatting online with someone that ultimately is an adult, and for showing up at a place where there are, ultimately and in reality, no children.

A child is more in danger of these people while sitting at home using their computer rather than while standing in a busy gift shop with CMs all around and, in case I haven't already said it enough, cameras everywhere.

 

[bumbershoot]

I wonder if WDW has any policies this.

To enter a park alone you need to be 14

To ride a ride, including standing in line etc, you need to be 7. So standing in a gift shop is perfectly ok as long as someone 14 or over from your party is somewhere in the park at the same time.

Sorry, not worth the stress and even remote possibility of something happening just so you can go on a ride.

If you're that concerned about the stress, what about the stress of the 13 year on the ride?

The overparenting of this generation. I have one timid child, at 15 insists on holding my hand when we are in a big city (NYC, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago). She's the one I try to push the most. I know that she won't be riding the bus or train to NYC with her friends anytime soon like her older siblings did at this age. She is also the one I worry about most when she's out on her own. I've been making her walk the dog on her own for a few years now. Sometimes she comes back, talking about white vans that looked ominous. She will always error on the side of caution, which is good. She's also very tiny, so I worry about her on a college campus a few years from now.

I only have a few years left to instill her with the confidence, mental, and emotional strength she needs to tackle this world. We get 18 years, 9 is halfway there, plenty old enough to be somewhat independent for periods of time. You have to start somewhere!

Remember that people don't have to rush off to college. People can take a little time in the world and then go.

Nope! I'm not a parent but when I was growing up my mom wouldn't let me be alone in public until I was 16. It's too dangerous. People are crazy these days.

People are not any worse than they ever have been. It's less dangerous than during the roman reporter days, for example. We just know more now bc of all forms of media.

I am quite sorry that your mother chose that style of parenting. I was off to college at 17, moved two states away which became cross country when she got remarried just after settling me into my coed dorm, so I truly cannot imagine how I would have coped if I'd never been alone in public until the year before.

I strongly urge you to read the books by Gavin deBecker long before you ever decide to have children. Heck, even if you don't have them, read those books. Good stuff for everyone.

 

[Kimberly9701]

If a decade ago 9 year olds were riding bikes all over town, wouldn't they be the kids in college that you say are reporting that students are struggling with adulthood?
My kids sure grew up riding their bikes around, but that's not really the same thing to me.

To turn this around on you... I would say that by CATERING to both children here (one wants to go on a ride and one doesn't) is the mentality "creating a generation of wussies", where everyone is a special snowflake. I'm the adult. I decide if WE will go on the ride or if WE will not. That's MY take on it, but I would never, EVER criticize someone for making a different decision. Each of us has the responsibility to make those choices for our kids.

I think the main issue, and maybe the reason for your nasty tone, is because you aren't grasping the context of the original question and the comments after.

I don't think anyone has said that the boy would be afraid on the ride, and that the mother should cater to him. It's about not catering to just one child. It's about, most importantly-Creating fun memories together....And about another child preventing that for what sounds to be - not a very valid reason. I don't want to sound too hard on the daughter..I'm saying that there is a happy median. I've also said so many times--maybe waiting in the line and waiting afterwards will make her go on the next one, which for me would be the ultimate goal.

Some adults make every decision and make their children do what said adult wants no matter if the child will be missing out on something.
Some of us let our children have input. Some of us want our children to have input.

I went to Disney World every year growing up. My brother is 3 years younger than me, my sister 8 years younger than me. I love roller coasters, and if my parents would have said WE do everything as a family together because THAT is THEIR decision, and I couldn't ride space mountain etc etc because my brother or sister were too young for a few years..I can say without a doubt that my vacations would have been a little less magical.

I look back on that time and have such fond memories.

Thankfully for me, my parents didn't choose the thought process that your statement represents.

 

[TJDisneymama]

If a
u... I would say that by CATERING to both children here (one wants to go on a ride and one doesn't) is the mentality "creating a generation of wussies", where everyone is a special snowflake. I'm the adult. I decide if WE will go on the ride or if WE will not. That's MY take on it,

Wow, that doesn't sound fun at ALL, lol. I can't imagine being forced to go on rides I didn't want to.......and I'm sure ODS would not appreciate me ORDERING him to go on the Carousel or Dumbo, lol. A trip to Disney is (in most cases) a trip for the kids......I wouldn't want to turn it into boot camp. If there's anywhere a kid SHOULd get to feel like a special snowflake, this is the place, IMO.