Would You Intrude on This Couple

[Magic Mom]

The OP shouldn't have expectations of privacy in a public park however it is courteous to urge your children not to run around an occupied table. The park sounds like a large place so there's no need for children to play right next to an occupied area.

I agree that you have to expect to be flamed on the DIS when you post such things particularly when it involves children. But who cares if someone flames? Just brush it off.

Very reasonable answer.

 

[MushyMushy]

Of course it is perfectly acceptable for kids to run and play in a park. But its not really acceptable for them to run around within a foot of a table that someone else is sitting at.

Why on earth would anyone choose the one spot in a whole park where someone else is sitting? If the park was crowded, it would have been different; but that wasn't the case. And if the kids had just passed the table on their way to the lake it would have been different, but again, not the case.

This seems to be another case of where one person's rights stop when they begin invading the space of another. And if you are sitting at a table in a public park-YES you still have some private space.

I'm shocked at the number of people who think those actions are okay. It's not like the OP was complaining that someone else merely came INTO the park. Or that somebody simply passed through the picnic area they were occupying. A lot of people are changing the issue, making it that the OP is complaining about people being in the park in general. It's that in these specific set of circumstances, WHY would you choose to flock to the couple sitting alone in a park on a picnic bench? Just because you can? Just because you have the right?

Sorry, but I just don't get that mentality and probably never will.

 

[Kathi OD]

I'm not quite sure how you can intrude on someone in a very public place, like a park, even if the park is not crowded or busy.

Parks are for everyone to enjoy. Just because you got there first, doesn't mean you "own" that part of the park. Maybe where you have chosen is the other family's favorite part of the park.

If you want privacy, or don't like noisy children, go somewhere else.

 

[NHdisneylover]

The OP shouldn't have expectations of privacy in a public park however it is courteous to urge your children not to run around an occupied table. The park sounds like a large place so there's no need for children to play right next to an occupied area.

I agree that you have to expect to be flamed on the DIS when you post such things particularly when it involves children. But who cares if someone flames? Just brush it off.

OP said the were running around in front of the table (presuambly then on the lake front0 not circling around and around the picnic table itself--which would be rude). I doubt the grandmother was taking photos of the kids with OP and her husband in them and super close so at at hat point presumably the kids were even further away and the adult was in between the table and the shore taking the photos. I think OP even said photos of the kids by the lake, not photos of the kids by us"

A mother with her two young children decide to walk right down beside the picnic table to look at the water. The kids are running back and forth directly in front of the picnic table. They stay several minutes. Then the grandmother comes down to take a couple pictures of her daughter and kids by the water. Obviously they are intruding on this couple. There were several other areas they could have gone to, so the kids could look at the lake and run around and they could take their pictures.

AND the OP was already annoyed by the "intrusion" before she even knew how close the kids would be to her--simply because they cane down the hill at all:

The park was so nice and quiet, then we found this nice secluded area that was even better. And when I heard them starting to come down the hill I was wishing they wouldn't. )

 

[Planogirl]

OP, how far away would you estimate that they were? I can't picture if they were a few feet away or specks in the distance. That does make a difference.

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP, how far away would you estimate that they were? I can't picture if they were a few feet away or specks in the distance. That does make a difference.

At one point--pretty far into the thread and in a pretty defensive mode she said 1-2 feet. I think that should have been in the OP if it was truly THAT close for an extended period of time. If the area were that small I have a hard time seeing how photos could be taken or why a park would place a table there

 

[Cooky]

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[Michelle and crew]

that might be apples to apples if the op complained about a boom box. That is a far different noise level than a couple of little kids playing. And there were just the 2 or 3 in the op.

 

[MIGrandma]

There is a large park by a lake. Lots of picnic tables scattered about, some very close to the lake. A playground is in the center. The park is completely empty except for one couple at a secluded picnic table having lunch. You have to go down a hill to get to this picnic table. You can't see it from most of the area in the park, except when standing on this hill. You can look down and see the picnic table clearly. As I said, the rest of the park was empty.

A mother with her two young children decide to walk right down beside the picnic table to look at the water. The kids are running back and forth directly in front of the picnic table. They stay several minutes. Then the grandmother comes down to take a couple pictures of her daughter and kids by the water. Obviously they are intruding on this couple. There were several other areas they could have gone to, so the kids could look at the lake and run around and they could take their pictures.

If you were this mother with your two young children would you have walked down right beside the couple at the picnic table, or would you have chosen to go to another area by the lake?

OP said the were running around in front of the table (presuambly then on the lake front0 not circling around and around the picnic table itself--which would be rude). I doubt the grandmother was taking photos of the kids with OP and her husband in them and super close so at at hat point presumably the kids were even further away and the adult was in between the table and the shore taking the photos. I think OP even said photos of the kids by the lake, not photos of the kids by us"



AND the OP was already annoyed by the "intrusion" before she even knew how close the kids would be to her--simply because they cane down the hill at all:

I put my original post in here to refresh your memory where I said they were running back and forth DIRECTLY in front of our table. Yes, they were on the lake front, which literally was about 3 feet from the front of the table we were sitting at. So, according to you, it would be rude of the children to be running AROUND the table, but yet not if they're running BACK AND FORTH IN FRONT OF THE TABLE? Okay then. And yes, I was annoyed at the intrusion because as I said in my OP it's a SECLUDED area and very small. There was no playground equipment there. The area was maybe 15' x 10' total. The lake in front of the table, the path behind the table, and trees on the other two sides. You put a picnic table in the middle of that area and there really isn't much area left. That's why I said it was SECLUDED. If the situation had been reversed and I had my young children and saw a couple eating their lunch at that table, we would not have gone down there. I would have been more respectful to their privacy. Especially when the park was otherwise EMPTY and we could have chosen many, many other places for my children to run and play and look at the lake.

OP, how far away would you estimate that they were? I can't picture if they were a few feet away or specks in the distance. That does make a difference.

See post #47.

At one point--pretty far into the thread and in a pretty defensive mode she said 1-2 feet. I think that should have been in the OP if it was truly THAT close for an extended period of time. If the area were that small I have a hard time seeing how photos could be taken or why a park would place a table there

Oh good grief. I'm sorry I didn't say 1-2 feet in the original post, instead of saying directly in front of. Bad choice of words according to some. So now you're insinuating that I'm lying, since I didn't say 1-2 feet right off the bat? Whatever. You're free to think what you want.

For the posters who think the family did absolutely nothing wrong:

What if you and your children were sitting at the table the OP was at. The rest of the park was empty. You were having a nice picnic, normal family noises and actions. A group of let's say young adults come within 2 or 3 feet of where you are sitting. They turn on their radio, not objectionable lyrics but but the music is that loud, repetitive booming bass kind of music. They start talking, maybe a little bit of horsing around, they run around your table. They're not swearing, they're not smoking anything, not drinking liquor, just having a fun time out together.

Would you be annoyed? Would you think they were being inconsiderate?

Of course they wouldn't be annoyed. Nothing ever annoys them.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Because a group of teens is so like a couple of little kids. give me a break.

 

[Scurvy]

I have mixed feelings about this. I realize people have a right to use whatever part of a public park that they want to, but I personally think it's more considerate to leave more of a buffer zone around other people. If I was sitting at a picnic table that was surrounded by many other empty tables, it would annoy me if someone came and sat at the table right next to me. I feel the same way when someone sits right next to me at the movie theater when most of the other seats are empty - sure, they have the right to sit there, but I'd really rather they didn't.

However, in this particular case I don't feel the family really did anything wrong. If I'm understanding the OP correctly, the people at the table were apparently sitting very close to the lake. So if the family wanted to walk or play near the lake, they also had to walk near the table. Choosing a table right by the lake means that you are going to be close to everyone else who wants to be near the lake. If the couple wanted more privacy, they should have chosen a table that was more secluded and not near anything else that other people might want to be near. To me, it's sort of like the people who choose to sit on a bench next to the swings and then complain about all the loud kids who intruded on their conversation. I do think it would be polite for the kids to avoid getting too close to any occupied tables while running around, but if the tables are near any particular points of interest (like the lake or play equipment, for example) then I don't think that really applies any longer. The kids shouldn't be expected to refrain from playing by the lake just because someone else got there first.

For the posters who think the family did absolutely nothing wrong:

What if you and your children were sitting at the table the OP was at. The rest of the park was empty. You were having a nice picnic, normal family noises and actions. A group of let's say young adults come within 2 or 3 feet of where you are sitting. They turn on their radio, not objectionable lyrics but but the music is that loud, repetitive booming bass kind of music. They start talking, maybe a little bit of horsing around, they run around your table. They're not swearing, they're not smoking anything, not drinking liquor, just having a fun time out together.

Would you be annoyed? Would you think they were being inconsiderate?

I would be annoyed. I wouldn't want to have to hear someone else's music, or to have them horsing around within a few feet of me. But I also don't think it's appropriate to come to a public area and play loud music unless everyone else there also wants to listen to it. And again, I think that when possible you ought to leave empty space between you and other people so they don't have to listen to your conversation or be jostled by your horsing around. But in the case of the OP, or somewhere like the beach or outdoor concert, some areas are more desirable than others. I'm not going to sit further away from the most desirable area (like the edge of the lake or a stage) just so you can have more privacy. If your top priority is privacy (which is relative, given that we're talking about a public place) then you should choose a less desirable area so others are less likely to intrude on your privacy.

 

[design_mom]

How close to the water’s edge is the table? And how close were they when they walked “right beside” your table?

Your descriptions are very generalized so it’s hard to tell what happened exactly. For instance, when you say the kids ran back and forth “directly in front of the picnic table.” Are you saying they were running 3’ from your table, or are you saying that they were blocking your table’s view of the lake, but maybe they were 15’-20’ away?

Honestly, if there were other good spaces to see the lake, I would have directed my children to a different area. However, if we were walking around the lake and stayed far enough away that we couldn’t overhear their private conversation (10-15’, I guess), I wouldn’t consider that “intruding,” even if the rest of the park was empty and/or we were between the table and the lake.

It doesn’t sound like they interrupted your lunch other than being in the same general area – they didn’t sit at your table, talk to you, or ask you to take a photo of all of them together.

 

[lisaviolet]

Since some people have decided to make this about the age of the posters

Celia if you're talking about me - I guess??? I'm some people - smiling. I didn't decide to make it about that. Honestly, I guess I chose the wrong words. No sarcasm. I WAS CURIOUS AND FASCINATED. And thank you for listing your ages. I have no issue being wrong about my thoughts (although I did say there would be exceptions on both sides but who know - just a possible theory). In my life I am finding many generational
instances like younger ones think it's okay to watch pirated movies and I think that's stealing. Or when downloading started the younger ones looked at me - everyone I've talked to - like I have four heads when I say that's wrong. I still always pay for songs.

Now I'm curious, how did your niece get access to your picture to use it on the blog?

Allison, I shared my sister's birthday pictures on facebook. My sister asked me to. So I guess my niece saved it to her own file and took it on over. No tagging was involved.

I was just surprised that she didn't have any thought that I should have been simply told - I had no issue with it there in the end but I would have appreciated being told. And really think it's a courtesy. I have few pictures from DISers on my hard drive - some are close friend's pics and some are strangers. I have always written and asked. And when you think about it one could copy them and no one would ever know. But that wouldn't be right. Even on FB - last Christmas my cousin loved my Macy's "Believe" picture - she could have simply tagged it but she wrote me a note and asked to use it. She didn't have to - tagging would have let me know that's all I care about - but I sure did appreciiate the gesture.

Well depending on how far another area to go to was from where we were would depend on if I leave after going up a hill and walking a distance.

The OP does not know the reasons that the group choose that area. Obviously it is a nice area or the OP would not have chosen it.

Would I have let my children run 1-2 feet away from the table not unless it was passing through to the water, but not continually playing that close.

I would have probably had them quiet down some if very loud but probably not as quiet as the OP would have liked.


I would not expect privacy at a park, but it does seem a little odd.

But I doubt it would annoy me. If kids were continually running 1-2 from me I would say something to the Mom instead of just being annoyed.


And them staying "several minutes" I would not think an intrusion at all.


Denise in MI

Here's where I think we might be misunderstanding the OP - I would bet and I'm only guessing that the OP didn't really 100% expect privacy - just really really hoped for it. And just wouldn't have chosen to do what the family did. I also think she would say that the family had every right to do what what they did and that it's a public place. But she wouldn't choose that.

I thought about this more last night. I've been to Central Park many times. There are areas of the park that are packed. I don't hesitate to sit down anywhere. BUT as I walk further - there are areas where a groups are having picnics or a couple is having an intimate conversation. I will not go directly where they are - I won't because there are other spaces nearby. I am put out? No. Not at all. I'm in the same area but not in their space. Of course I CAN walk anywhere I want - it's a public place - but I choose to give people their space when the space alows it.

And - I know I shouldn't speak for you OP - but for me it's really too bad she used the word intrude. I'm not sure she means how it's being taken because once again I would bet she thinks the family had every right to go whereever they want - she was just disappointed - and annoyed - by their choice. And wouldn't have made it herself.

(For every DISer that is going to paste the OP's words to prove this wrong - sometimes we all type words that come across as more aggressive than we are actually feeling. I know I do all the time)

Once again, fascinating thread.

 

[luvsJack]

Ok, folks. Next trip to Disney I am seeking you all out and sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU at the 3 PM parade!! Afterall, it is a public place and there for all of us to enjoy, no?

So none of you would get aggravated in the least, right?

 

[MushyMushy]

Because a group of teens is so like a couple of little kids. give me a break.

Are you saying that if you're in a fairly empty movie theater or park with your little kids and a group of teens came and hung out right where you are, you're just fine with that?

 

[SaraJayne]

Ok, folks. Next trip to Disney I am seeking you all out and sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU at the 3 PM parade!! Afterall, it is a public place and there for all of us to enjoy, no?

So none of you would get aggravated in the least, right?

Nope, 'cause we don't watch the parades.

See you in 10 days at WDW!!

 

[Michelle and crew]

Ok, folks. Next trip to Disney I am seeking you all out and sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU at the 3 PM parade!! Afterall, it is a public place and there for all of us to enjoy, no?

So none of you would get aggravated in the least, right?

Ummm...I would use my words and ask for my space. That is how people do this sort of thing, usually.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Are you saying that if you're in a fairly empty movie theater or park with your little kids and a group of teens came and hung out right where you are, you're just fine with that?

You seem determined to say that a group of teens is the same issue as 2 little kids. I don't know where you come from, but around here, they are far different. 2 little kids are not a big deal.

If 2 little kids stood in front of me in a parade I would smile and give them a pin if it were ok with their mom.

If 2 little kids came to my picnic table to chat I would chat. That is the difference between us.

If a group of teens came over, I'd probably be fine with that. I have 3, and enjoy that age group also.

lol, is that a good enough answer? Does my opinion and point come through well enough yet?

 

[MushyMushy]

You seem determined to say that a group of teens is the same issue as 2 little kids. I don't know where you come from, but around here, they are far different. 2 little kids are not a big deal.

If 2 little kids stood in front of me in a parade I would smile and give them a pin if it were ok with their mom.

If 2 little kids came to my picnic table to chat I would chat. That is the difference between us.

If a group of teens came over, I'd probably be fine with that. I have 3, and enjoy that age group also.

lol, is that a good enough answer? Does my opinion and point come through well enough yet?

Nope, I'm not determined to say that little kids are the same as teens. I just wanted to try to find out where you were coming from with that statement.

Personally, I would be annoyed with the people whether they were little kids, teens or grown adults. That doesn't make me grumpy or unfriendly. I just enjoy moments of quiet solitude by myself or with my husband once in a while, and can't understand why in a situation like the OP's that those people wouldn't have just walked to a different area when they saw a couple enjoying a picnic lunch.

 

[MaumeeMom]

OP I'm sorry that your luncheon picnic did not go as you had hoped.

Please remember that there are two sides to every story. Maybe this secluded spot was special to this family. This could be the spot where they spread grandpa's ashes. Maybe this is the spot that they picnic at once a year when grandma comes to town and they take these same photos every year. Maybe this was where they had a last picnic with their father before he shipped off to war. We don't know.

This family did not sit down at your table. They enjoyed an area of a public park for a few minutes. I'm sorry that you let it annoy you enough that you had to come here and vent.

Personally, if we were going to the park just to visit for no special reason, I would have moved on with my family. However, if this was a spot where we took annual pictures, I would have taken them before moving on.

We cannot control the actions of others, nor can we read minds to know their true intentions or motivations. All that we can control is our own response to their actions. If they had bothered me that much, I would have moved myself, messy ribs and all.