Would you go?

[tiggger1]

I found out the other day that a kid that I went to high school with and did drama and chorus died on Thurs. I dont know the details of his death, but a friend said it was an OD'd I havnt seen in a few year but was friendly with him when we did see each other.
The wake is this evening but hubby doesnt think I should go because he OD'd. He thinks he got what he deserved since he did drugs. I want to go, plain and simple. Would you go to the wake?

 

[Tiziminchac]

You want to go, so you should. Afterall, he was your friend. Leave the DH at home. Personally, I wouldn't go. I prefer to avoid the whole "death" thing.

 

[ElizaB39]

Well, you go to the wake to show your respect to the family, IMO. The fact that he reportedly OD'd doesn't make his family's pain any less, it likely makes it worse. Thus, whatever comfort you can bring to his grieving family would be welcomed (I would think).

 

[alliecats]

His family didn't "get what they deserved," and that's who you'd be going for. A friend of mine from high school died in a car accident last Saturday. We were never very close and I hadn't seen her in years, but I went to the viewing and her sister really appreciated it. It was very hard, because she was only 31. I didn't look forward to it but looking back it was "the right thing" for me to do. Only you can make the decision if you are comfortable going to something sad like this, but I wouldn't let the OD thing sway me one way or another--that has nothing to do with whether you should go or not.

 

[dmslush]

I'd go and SO would be sorry if he tried to keep me from going. You're husband should be ashamed of himself for such a remark. The man's family is still heartbroken.

 

[Kahana-ri]

How a person dies doesn't justify a death. If he was a friend you should be there to pay your respect and to reminisce with others about the good things you knew about your friend. Maybe there was more going on in his life than just ODing on drugs-you just don't know. I would go to be there for yourself and for his family.

 

[Beth76]

If you don't want to go, then don't go. But, I don't think you should let the fact that he OD'd be the reason for you not to go. That's just....I don't even have a word for it.

 

[KarenAylwood]

It's your DH that thinks you shouldn't go because he OD'd... we'll it's not his decision to make- it was your friend.

I say go, how he died shouldn't play a role in your decision.

 

[gradtchr]

I would go-he was your friend and this is your chance to say your goodbyes.

 

[noseybuddy]

I found out the other day that a kid that I went to high school with and did drama and chorus died on Thurs. I dont know the details of his death, but a friend said it was an OD'd I havnt seen in a few year but was friendly with him when we did see each other.
The wake is this evening but hubby doesnt think I should go because he OD'd. He thinks he got what he deserved since he did drugs. I want to go, plain and simple. Would you go to the wake?

Does it really matter how he died? If you want to go, then that's what you do.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes I would go.

 

[kristen821]

IMHO- Wakes and Funerals are for the living people left behind, if you want to go I would go. The choice is yours.

 

[lulugirl]

I'm sure his family would appreciate your support.
I fail to see how the manner of death has anything to do w/ the decision to attend or not.

 

[summerrluvv]

What an insensitive remark your DH made. I would go.

 

[tiggger1]

Oh, I have every intention on going although, I am still upset with hubby for trying to tell me that I couldnt. we did talk about it and he told me that he would rather me not go but its up to me ( the real problem here is that he doesnt want to take Emma to his parents house alone!) thanks for all you r thoughts

 

[Zurealsoon]

Last night my son's friends' brother committed suicide-I find your DH's comments horrific.

I can not imagine not going to a funeral because of the way a person died...their family needs the support offered at a wake.

 

[Disney Doll]

You know, how a person dies is really irrelevant to going to the wake. I feel badly that your husband made that statement...hopefully he will never live to regret those words with a member of his own family...and one never knows what life is going to bring, does one? I'd also have a problem with my husband thinking he could "tell" me to do or not do, regardless of why he's telling me. He's my husband, not my father.

If you feel as if you'd like to go to pay your respects to your friend and offer support to his family, then by all means, go.