Would you go without.....

[kennezgirl]

taking all of your kids????? My husband and I have four children, but they are "his, hers, and ours". We wanted to go to Disney over Thanksgiving break but two of the kids have to be visiting their other parents. (All kids live with us) Would you take a trip without all of your kids or would you just wait it out for another year or two??? UGH!

 

[MissMagnolia]

Wow...I don't have that problem, but I would have a hard time leaving anyone behind. If you travel to WDW frequently AND the children that wouldn't get to go this time around weren't upset about it then I'd probably do it. I think it would also depend on the reaction of the other parent. I can just hear it now ("Can you believe they went off to WDW and didn't take so and so....etc. You can see who THEY favor, etc.").

I think some conversations (with the other parents and the children) would need to take place before you made any decision. Not much help, I know.

 

[MidgeD79]

How old are all of the kids?

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I have done it. My older 2 kids are "mine" and the younger 2 are "ours."

My older kids are allowed one Disney trip per school year, since they end up missing a few days. They may not skip any school and must maintain grades high enough that we ask their teachers if missing is okay, and they must agree. Which they always have. We are going in Sept with just our youngest. My DD3 will be at Sea World with my sister. My older 2 kids wanted to skip the 5-day trip in September and go on the 2 week trip in February.

My oldest DD said it best....she and her brother get to do cool things with their Dad that the babies don't, and sometimes the babies go to Disney and they don't. No big deal to her or her brother. Of course, we go every year and they get to do at least 1 of the 2 trips. I suppose if it was less frequent, they would have more of a problem with it.

 

[vellamint]

I have one older (not a kid anymore) but I could not have left him and taken the others. This is difficult because they all live with you........

Good luck!

 

[sunny_]

Personally, I don't think I would do it. I would try my hardest to find a different time in which all the kids could go. But I don't know your situation or your children. If the kids who miss it really wouldn't care or if you go often, then... who knows...

Do what is best for you and your family though... Who am I to say?

 

[NicksTgrMom]

We are also a house of "his, hers, and ours". This year the two oldest, (his 18, hers 17) are staying home because it's their senior year and they felt it too important to miss days at this point given it might impact college stuff. We've never taken them through the school year though and they were both fine with us leaving them home and taking the 4 year old down the end of September.

 

[la79al]

Granted the kids with parents outside of your home probably get to do things that the others don't but I don't think I would take part of the family and not the whole family. It is not the fault of the kids that they have to visit the other parents but the kids are the ones who will suffer because of it. It also opens up the other parents telling the kids that you don't love them as much etc... because you wait til they are gone to go to WDW or the kids resenting the other parents for making them miss out on the trip or whatever.

 

[eblack0409]

My parents are divorced and my dad is remarried to a woman with 2 kids of her own...making it 4 kids total (2 dad's; 2 step).....my brother and I have gone on trips with just our dad, but whenever my dad and stepmom went to Hawaii...they took 3 of us....my youngest stepbrother is autistic and couldn't handle the long flight so he stayed with his dad....in that instance it was never a big deal.....

I would just discuss it with the children that wouldn't be going....if it's ok with them, then go, if they get upset then go another time....

 

[Snow Shoe]

Yep, sure have done it, and currently we're planning a parent get a way as I type! It was absolutly WONDERFUL!!!!!! Our thoughts are, mommy and daddy need time to themselves also! We have gone as a family more times then we have fingers and toes to count on. You and your spouse need time away from the kids now and then. It dosen't have to be a 10 day trip, just 7 maybe. Give yourself a treat!

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

This is a good example of why I tell my clients that maintaining a good working relationship with their child's other parent is so important. Mind you I am not saying that you and your husband don't have a good relationship with the other parent.

So, I am wondering, can you talk to the other parents involved and see if you can switch holidays this year...or make some other arrangement about time? I know the courts put a visitation schedule in place that has all of the holidays laid out until the kids turn 18...but 5, 8, 10 years down the line that may not always be the best. The parents can agree to modify that schedule if they want. Now, if the other parent is not known as a very cooperative sort, you may want to get some assurances before laying down cash and getting the kids hopes up.

 

[sherreis]

DH and I both suggest waiting. We have "his" and "ours." As a stepmother, I've beared many resentments in raising my stepdaughters who both lived with us. I would think that taking the "ours" to DW would be opening up a big can of worms. Would the other parents consider swapping holidays? I know my DH's ex probably would have so that the girls could have gone away with us.

 

[DiszyDean]

taking all of your kids????? My husband and I have four children, but they are "his, hers, and ours". We wanted to go to Disney over Thanksgiving break but two of the kids have to be visiting their other parents. (All kids live with us) Would you take a trip without all of your kids or would you just wait it out for another year or two??? UGH!

Absolutely NOT. Having your home and family being torn apart by divorce is bad enough. Adjusting to the new home, and new family, having to 'visit' your own parents, so not fun for a child, no matter how well adults imagine they have 'adjusted'. I've been in those kid's shoes, of course I said "it was fine". Don't go there. PLEASE.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I would wait and take them all. Or go and take none of them. But NO WAY would I take some kids and not all.

 

[Vickibean]

We are taking 3 of our 5 next week. We are taking "my" DS5, "our" DS1 and "his" DD10. We are leaving "his" DS 12 because he just returned from a 3-week vacation with one of his friends' families, and "his" DD5 who has severe anxiety and will not speak to either of us despite 2 years of therapy. It's just too difficult for the rest of us to enjoy a vacation not knowing if she's afraid of something or even what she wants for lunch.

 

[minkydog]

I don't believe i would take "our" kids and leave the step-sibs out. Even if they're having the time of their life with their bio-parents, I think it would really set a bad precedent. Wait until you can take them all, or negotiate with the ex-es to trade holidays so you can all go to WDW.

 

[zookeeper]

My situation is different in that there are no step-children involved, but I'm going to WDW in 15 days ( ) with DS9 and DS8 only. DD6,DS4 and DS1 will be at home with my DH. We all went on a big family vacation to WDW last year and had a great time. It was my first time at WDW so I was anxious to return. My DH...not so much (although he does want to return as a whole family when DS1 is old enough to remember). I do a lot of things by myself with all 5 kids, but I don't think WDW would work with me and all the kids (especially in the heat/humidity of August). So I decided to take the older 2 back this summer and the next 2 will get their own special trip with me next summer or a little later. The kids all agreed to it, although they know it will be hard to see the others go without them, but it's what will work for us and it will be great to have just a couple of the kids at a time and really enjoy my time with them. I can't believe the number of negative reactions I've gotten from people who "would never take only 2 kids and leave the others at home", but I try to ignore them and focus on the fun we'll have.

 

[Disneymom2AA]

We are going to Disney again but without DS1. We went went DS5 was one and it was great!!! EXCEPT FOR ONE THING...............the 20+hour drive to Orlando. He could only handle a few hours at a time which made it hard for DH who was driving with a screaming child sitting behind him.

It is going to be hard leaving him with his grandparents, but in all it will make for a much quieter trip-hopefully and I will get to spend more time with DD2 and DS5!!

I think you should go with your heart and have a wonderful family vacation.

 

[CPM]

well, I would get feedback from the kids that are going with their other parent, and some feedback from the other parent too. If it's the only time you can go, then it has to be. Not really fair to the kids that will be with you to have to stay home.
I have gone with my son, while my daughter is at her father's house. No reason he couldn't take her on a vacation.

 

[winterman]

I would wait and take them all. Or go and take none of them. But NO WAY would I take some kids and not all.

Ditto