Why didn't YOU say something to the kids? I don't understand why people don't take control of a situation more often...
She did.
....the dang kids behind us who I had asked to please stop and they kept getting worse....
For me there's no one answer here.
My boy is about to be 4, and he has been to
disneyland 4 times so far. I've been able to watch his reactions change, depending on his age.
This year of being 3 has been his most fearful. It's frustrating, because we KNOW he loves certain rides, but he has just refused. He went on POTC in September and then refused in December. We did something I never thought we'd do, and we let him watch the first POTC movie, which he absolutely LOVES (you should see him imitating Jack Sparrow, he does the walk almost perfectly), and now he's beyond excited for POTC. He also watched Star Wars again (DH let him watch it, and his behaviour became horrible so I forbade the movie until recently, and now he's a bit calmer while watching it) and now wants to ride Star Tours again (also ridden in Sept and refused in Dec for being too bumpy).
In December, before hubby joined us, we started in DLR's ToonTown, and I wanted to go on Roger Rabbit. He loved it in Sept. But the line is too noisy and dark and weird, and he flipped out. By the time we got to the ride vehicles, he was just beyond upset, and even though I knew he would love it if I got him on, I gave up and we exited. We played around TT for an hour or so, pushing buttons and pulling doors, and I realized he just needed some time to warm up to the day. But b/c I had caused the bad feelings about the ride, he refused, even once he was more adventurous.
Same trip, he did almost the same reaction to Peter Pan. Now he loves PP. He likes the movie, he likes the ride. He wasn't protesting as tantrum-y as he did RR, but he was protesting! In a brainfree moment I gave him the word "hate" ("if you hate this ride we won't go again, but you like it and I know it and you'll be fine"...oops) and he spent 3/4 of the line telling me how much he hated the ride etc etc. Well, this time I stayed in the line, and 2 seconds after we got going he was squealing with glee and he LOVED it.
2 different rides, 2 different reactions. In both lines I tried to communicate with him as clearly (in a voice loud enough so people would know that he had been on both before, liked them, and that I wasn't utterly beyond evil, just trying to show him a ride he really did like) as possible, telling him why we were still in line (with RR it's b/c going backwards just puts you through the same noise and weirdness twice...similar to the horrible, black-walled, twisty turny exit from Disneyland's Haunted Mansion, scarier than the ride itself IMO...then 2 year old DS and I were both crying by the time we finally got outside from that exit!), and so on and so forth. I never yelled at him...while I was never scared of rides, I was terrified of characters as a child, so I should be able to understand unreasonable fears.
So you know your kiddo; pay attention to how they are reacting, talk to them, explain to them if you really want them to be on a ride, and of course that also lets the people around you realize you're not as evil as they might think, but don't be afraid to exit if you need to.
Have fun!
. Now with that being said, I would never force my youngest onto anything he's only going to be 2 and if he looks really scared, we'll skip it with him.
Last time it was just she and I so she couldn't go on anything alone so I had no choice. 
I pushed a little when she was about 2 and we were at the NJ Shore, but for kiddie rides (boats that go round and round, carousel, etc.) Now she's a ride fanatic. I think most parents (not all) know their children well enough to know what they will and won't like. All that said, my daughter LOVES EE, Space Mountain, ToT, but was freaked out by Dinosaur! 
I guess you never know.
