Would you ever allow your teen D to spend the night alone with a 50 yr old man?Update

[missypie]

Our neighbor is a musician and works out of his home. For the last year he's had a home schooled female teen student who spends a lot of time at his house...a lot of time. We know when she's there because she drives a very distinctive vehicle. Neighbor knows the student's parents through their very conservative church.

Neighbor's wife and son have been traveling a lot over the summer but teen student still spends a lot of time at the house with her "teacher." A few nights ago she spent the night, when neighbor's wife and son were not home.

I can't imagine what lapse in judgment made my neighbor think that was okay. And I can't imagine the minor teen's parent's permitting it. I was thinking about all the close male friends we have - our "friends of the family." I cannot imagine our 16 year old spending the night alone with any of them and I can't imagine any of them being foolish enough to let her.

 

[Nancyg56]

nope. never.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I wouldn't let my dd or my ds.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Never never never never never.

That has "dangerous" written all over it.

 

[blissventure]

Ummm. No. And if either the parents OR the teacher were thinking at all, it would be a flat out no.

Of course, we're assuming the teen's parents knew. It's equally possible she told her parents she was sleeping over at a girlfriend's home.

And the "teacher"--he looks very bad, regardless of what is (or is not) going on.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Hopefully there was a good explanation for her spending the night.

However if it was my child there is no way I would give my permission for something like that.

 

[luvmy3]

Is the teen 16 like your dd or is she 18? Not that it makes any difference but at the age of 16-17 I was sneaking out to hang out with my older friends, my parents had no idea, until I eventually got caught.
When I was 18 and had no real curfew or restrictions, my parents had no idea what I was really doing and where I really was so I'm guessing that her parents are probably not even aware of her being there let alone giving her permission.

 

[missypie]

And the "teacher"--he looks very bad, regardless of what is (or is not) going on.

I just read a book about Venice, hundreds of years ago. "Nice" girls always wore veils and were not allowed on streets alone - ever. They were pretty much prisoners in their homes - if they were ever out unescorted, that ruined their reputation and they would never marry. How far we've come, from virtual imprisonment of young women, to even conservative Christian people not thinking a bit about their "reputation."

Yeah, I'd never spend the night alone with an unrelated minor of either gender, for my own protection.

Edited to add: Not commenting on all conservative Christian people - just these particular people.

 

[missypie]

Is the teen 16 like your dd or is she 18? Not that it makes any difference but at the age of 16-17 I was sneaking out to hang out with my older friends, my parents had no idea, until I eventually got caught.
When I was 18 and had no real curfew or restrictions, my parents had no idea what I was really doing and where I really was so I'm guessing that her parents are probably not even aware of her being there let alone giving her permission.

The student is either 16 or 17. Yeah, I guess the question is better asked "what kind of 50 year old man would allow a minor girl to spend the night?" Kids are capable of a lot of poor judgment, but the adult is supposed to know better.

 

[sbell111]

Wow. We're jumping to a lot of conclusions here.

I'm working on the assumption that the parents are well aware and that he is either family or 'like family'. If the parents trust him with their child, I'm inclined to believe that there is nothing going on. Without any evidence to the contrary, I don't see anything thats worth getting all Kravitsy about.

 

[luvmy3]

Wow. We're jumping to a lot of conclusions here.

I'm working on the assumption that the parents are well aware and that he is either family or 'like family'. If the parents trust him with their child, I'm inclined to believe that there is nothing going on. Without any evidence to the contrary, I don't see anything thats worth getting all Kravitsy about.

ITA. Based only on what the OP said it seems there is something suspicious going on but you are right, it could be purely innocent. I know I have friends who are like family and if my dd for some reason needed a place to stay I wouldn't have a problem with her staying at their house overnight.

 

[FireDancer]

Are you sure that the teacher isn't either a very close friend or a family member? If not it is very creepy.

 

[XTinabell]

Sounds like you don't have all the facts to be making judgements.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Wow. We're jumping to a lot of conclusions here.

I'm working on the assumption that the parents are well aware and that he is either family or 'like family'. If the parents trust him with their child, I'm inclined to believe that there is nothing going on. Without any evidence to the contrary, I don't see anything thats worth getting all Kravitsy about.

Then I am your polar opposite. I believe they are sleeping together.

 

[FireDancer]

According to the Texas penal code the age of consent is 17, not 18. I won't link directly to is since the section of the penal code is sexual in nature but it can be found in Chapter 22 Section 22.011.C.1:

(c) In this section:
(1) "Child" means a person younger than 17 years who is not the spouse of the actor.

There are exceptions for educators but they must explicitly be employed by a public or private institution. It sounds like this neighbor may not fall under this exception.

It may be sick but it is not necessarily illegal.

 

[punkin]

My DD16 and DD10 are currently staying with a 64 year old man alone for a week with no other supervision...of course he's their grandfather. My point is OP has no idea what the relationship is and what is going on in the teen's home. I could come up with a lot of scenarios that make sense.

 

[N&B'smom]

Our neighbor is a musician and works out of his home. For the last year he's had a home schooled female teen student who spends a lot of time at his house...a lot of time. We know when she's there because she drives a very distinctive vehicle. Neighbor knows the student's parents through their very conservative church.

Neighbor's wife and son have been traveling a lot over the summer but teen student still spends a lot of time at the house with her "teacher." A few nights ago she spent the night, when neighbor's wife and son were not home.

I can't imagine what lapse in judgment made my neighbor think that was okay. And I can't imagine the minor teen's parent's permitting it. I was thinking about all the close male friends we have - our "friends of the family." I cannot imagine our 16 year old spending the night alone with any of them and I can't imagine any of them being foolish enough to let her.

No, and I highly doubt her parents allowed it either. I'm sure they didn't know.

 

[kinntj]

No way.

 

[Disney Doll]

Not in the situation you describe in your OP, no I would not allow that.

 

[sbell111]

No, and I highly doubt her parents allowed it either. I'm sure they didn't know.

How can you be so sure about people you don't even know? Heck, it's people that the OP doesn't even appear to know.