Would you do this for your child?

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Would I do it? No, I work long hours and I need my sleep.

At the same time, I think in many families, cooking for people and eating together is a "love language". It's a way that people show others that they love them and build the connection.

My mom invites me and DS over for dinner every week. Even though I'm quite capable of making dinner, and DS could make a reasonable stab at it, she likes to cook for us and we like to eat together. Similarly, when I come up I'll do little things like defrag her computer or change her lightbulbs. Not because she can't but because it's easiery for me, and I like doing things for the people I love. My 11 year old is quite capable of putting together a meal for himself, but I still make his lunch every day because it makes me feel good to send him off with something with my "stamp" on it. I'm much more likely to ask him to make dinner, than I am to ask him to make his own lunch.

So, in our family the culture is that we do things for each other. As long as this mom is asking her kids to do things for her as well, and it's not a pattern of "women take care of men" then I don't have a problem.

 

[Art 1]

My mom went first and it wasn't pretty

I am very sorry to hear that.

 

[MoniqueU]

No I sure as heck wouldn't/ I am a bad mom and don't uusally cook anyone anything. When they wete little I couldn't get them all to agree to eat one thing so I was making 3 easy meals a night/ (soup top ramen mac and cheese spaghetios) Now that they are 12.13 and 17 they are on their own. I will from time to time make them something if they ask. espeicallly my son who is dead tired from football. Occasionally I will make the noodles for the mac and cheese for my husband but he mixes it up. I used to wait up for my husband because I was always worried about him making it home but now if I can sleep i do sleep. My son drives and I thought I would be pacing the floors but somehow I often fall asleep waiting for him and he wakes me up and lets me know he is home. The one thing I do do is pack my sons lunch since there is no cafeteria at his private school and I always wake up with my kids in the morning. I didn't do it twice in the last week I think because of the seizure I had and man I felt like I was neglecting them. I want to make sure they get out and have a happy start to their day. That is real important to me more so then anything else..

My oldest daughter 13 does her own laundry of her own accord. No one could remember what she wanted in the dryer and what she didn't so she started doing her own. My husband just taught my son the other night but I doubt he wil be motivated to do his own and my youngest sure wouldn't do her own. I don't mind washing and drying it is the folding and putting away. I am a clothes hoarder though so almost no matter how long between washing loads of laundry no one will run out.

I also don't think the OP's neighbor is doing her sons any favors. Good luck in this day and age finding a wife that is going to bend over backwards for you like momma does.

One year I had my grandma on the phone with me the whole time I made a crown roast for thanksgiving. I had gloves on so I didn't have to actually touch the meat. My husband was absolutely shocked and to this day says it was his best thanksgiving meal ever. Sadly my grandma passed away and I don't know how to make one without getting walked through the whole process. I come on the dis every year to ask how long to boil easter eggs!!

The point of that was I was too spoiled as a kid and my husband spoiled me even more when we got married. For a SAHM I know suprisingly little about how to cook or keep house. If you know how to do it teach your kids asap.

 

[powellrj]

I have done it over the years for my kids. I like to think my situation is different because I have done it for kids that no longer live at home.

When my oldest was in the army and he would get leave, he would get home in the middle of the night because of the long drive and I would always get up and make him a meal. I missed him and our middle of the night talks while he was eating is something I will always treasure.

I also have done it for my middle DS who is in college. He had a part-time job parking cars for concerts and would get home in the middle of the night. I didn't do it as often for him because I see him more often, but once again, I treasure our middle of the night talks while he is eating.

Both of them are wonderful cooks and can do it for themselves if needed, but its something I enjoy.

Ironing is another story, all my kids have always done their own ironing because its something I hate to do!

 

[mamacatnv]

At the same time, I think in many families, cooking for people and eating together is a "love language". It's a way that people show others that they love them and build the connection.

I really like this, well put.

My 11 year old is quite capable of putting together a meal for himself, but I still make his lunch every day because it makes me feel good to send him off with something with my "stamp" on it. I'm much more likely to ask him to make dinner, than I am to ask him to make his own lunch.

I totally understand this, makes perfect sense and again well said!

I didn't/don't always make lunches but there was never a store bought item for a bake sale.

 

[pigletgirl]

I can't stand it when parents still 'baby' their kids at that age. We are more than self-sufficient to take care of things like that. I'm very glad my mom isn't that way now, but it also helps that she has little ones to look after as well.

 

[Disney Doll]

I feel sorry for their wives. There will be a lot of retraining needed.

 

[Polyluvr]

I feel sorry for their wives. There will be a lot of retraining needed.

Maybe.

My DH's Mom did it for him and all his brothers-and I do it for him and our son's.


Everyone is different and whatever floats your boat I say.