Would you contact an old boyfriend?

[Maleficent13]

Poll coming.

Here's the story...I dated this guy a looooooooong time ago, back in high school. We dated for about a year, and then we broke up. It was mostly amicable and I moved away. Haven't seen or heard from him since (been 20 yrs or so)

So, last night I was googling looking for an item and I used the manufacturer's name in the search. Tons of stuff popped up, and the name of this old BF was in one of the top 5 responses (it's not a common name). So I clicked it, and by following some links, determined it was in fact my "first love". He's done so super phenominally with his career...he has his own IMDb page ( ).

Anyway, he has his own website, which has an email address you can contact him at. I typed up a little "hi, how ya doing" email and was going to send it, but stopped for some reason.

So, would you say hi, or would you just move on by?

 

[Disney Doll]

If I was just contacting him to say hi and not for some other reason, why not?

I guess you need to examine your motive, if any, for contacting him. 20 years out from a HS romance you may just be feeling nostalgic, which is fine. I have bumped into old HS BFs from time to time, and have had a pleasant exchange with them..."Hi, how you doing, what are you up to, are you married, any kids"...you know, just general interest stuff.

However, if I was having difficulty in my marriage, or was seeking to reinsert myself into their life because they were now wealthy and successful, I might think twice about my motive for contacting them.

 

[kdibattista]

I would not

 

[SillyMe]

By email, sure. I wouldn't call in case he's married. I wouldn't want to upset his wife.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wojld certainly email him. I have been back in touch with many ex boyfriends over the past years via email...just to say hey, how's life etc..not to rehook up romantically though. I recently met up with my boyfriend from when I was 16 years old and he said "lets meet for lunch and catch up" I said, Sure no problem, as long as your wife comes along to lunch too! WHich she did, we had a nice lunch together, caught up and now 10-15 years from now maybe we will do it again LOL...

 

[Bob Slydell]

Me? No, but then again, I don't have an ex-boyfriend

But in your case, sure, drop him an e-mail and tell him you happened to stumble across his info and wanted to say hi.

 

[NMAmy]

It was 20 years ago? Sure. I'd tell dh I was doing it, though.

One of the weirder aspects of moving back to my hometown has been that every once in awhile, I'll run into some of my old high school boyfriends every once in awhile. We have kids the same age and in school together so sometimes we even sit together and chat at school events. It was so long ago and I've been married twice since then--it's just two old friends chatting together.

It is pretty weird when some girl's parent will drop their kid off at my house and we're both saying, "Hey, I know you."

Drop him an email, Mal, just to say hi.

 

[Maleficent13]

By email, sure. I wouldn't call in case he's married. I wouldn't want to upset his wife.

Well, I couldn't call anyway...I only have his email. But what you said is I think what stopped me. I know there are a lot of women out there who would not like their DH being contacted by an ex...even if they were 17 when they dated 20yrs ago and the ex is now married w/kids.

Knowing that, I think I'm just going to be glad for his success and not email him.

 

[minkydog]

No, i probably would not. I'd be afraid it might open a whole new can of worms.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Toughie--I had an ex-boyfriend contact me and it brougth up many old feelings and so I'd be inclined to say no.

 

[PaulaSue]

I see you already decided but I would say to email to say HI.

I wish I did, My first love died a month ago and I wish I had stayed in contact, at least a little. (not romaticaly I mean) IT is so hard to say goodby at a furneral and see his family the first time in years.

 

[luckywife]

Nope! No way!

 

[SandraVB79]

I would.

Send him an email, say hi, ask how he's doing, how his family is, kind regards (or whatever), your name.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Nope...I was totally weirded out when an ex boyfriend (same kinda idea) emailed me out of the blue course he was pretty cryptic about who he was at first. (I thought he might have been a potential client or something and replied back with a very stitled message to forward more information or something before he fessed up it was him).

He still emails me every year on my birthday. And yes he is married (he and I were still on oh hey how are you in the grocery store terms when he got engaged) with three kids, but I'm pretty sure his wife has no clue that he emails me (she was not very fond of me as I was the only other person this guy dated which I never really understood but I digress). At any rate it still does kind of creep me out and I make sure I tell my DH each time I get the emails.

 

[rhanditresmom]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be too understanding if my DH was contacting old girlfriends and I would not expect him to be understanding if I was contacting old boyfriends. But, that is just me.

 

[Jeanny]

go for it. You'll never know until you send it.

 

[Tinkerbell_Girl]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be too understanding if my DH was contacting old girlfriends and I would not expect him to be understanding if I was contacting old boyfriends. But, that is just me.

 

[munchkin bunchkin]

Never in a million years ... he's the "1 girl at a time isn't enough"type he's probably got 20 kids by now and 20 women hunting him down for $$$!

 

[SDFgirl]

I probably would just because I have remained friendly with several of my ex-boyfriends. We'll chat a few times a year, I ask about their wives/families and they do the same. We just catch up, basically - on jobs, family, friends, etc. The conversations usually last 15/20 minutes or so. There is NO romantic "vibe" there at all. It doesn't bother my DH because he trusts me.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I would. I have contacted a couple old friends and have had some contact me. It was nice to chat for a bit.

DH has had friends contact him also and it's no big deal.