Would you call??

[kinlaw6450]

My high school boyfriend found my name on Classmates and emailed me tongiht. He said all the usual stuff; What have you been doing?, How are you? yada yada. Then he added if you would please call me at (number) I would like to apologize to you for some things.

Now WHAT would a 32 year old man have to apologize for after 15 years to someone he hasn't seen or spoken too in all that time? We broke up when we were 17 and he moved back to Michigan!

Now I will admit my curiousity is definately peaked. I have an urge to call. I did reply to the message with the usual pleasentries...more yada yada yada.

Guess I'll just sit back and see what happens.

 

[browneyes]

No, I wouldn't call.

 

[DopeysGal]

This is so strange! The very same thing happened to me today, except it's been over 30 years since I've seen/heard from this guy. I haven't replied to his email yet and am not sure if I am going to but my curiosity may get the best of me.

I had another guy that I went to high school with (but didn't date back then) contact me a couple of years ago and we went out a few times but there was no spark.

 

[cart-mom]

Just curious, but do you think that maybe they are in a 'program'? The 12 step program for alcoholics has people 'apologize' for past situations.

And I don't think I would reply either. Too many things could happen. I mean it's been a long time and you don't know how he's changed. If he was worth being a friend he wouldn't have lost contact, right?

 

[Disney845]

If he was worth being a friend he wouldn't have lost contact, right?

That isn't true, just because you lose contact doesn't mean someone is not worthy of being a friend. I lost contact with my best friend (we had known each other from the 3rd grade till she moved in 11th grade). We kept in contact for about a year or so, but with senior year living across the country we lost touch. A couple of years later, I was really thinking about her, and her old address and phone number didn't work so I hunted her down in another state on another end of the country through the use of the internet. We were both so excited to hear from one another, and she came to visit me a few months later. We now keep in fairly regular contact.

I recently moved back to my old home state of FL from IN. Upon hearing I was back in town, through some other people, and old friend I had lost contact with called me, becuase she didn't know if I would know anyone back in FL any more. I am so happy she called because I really didn't know anyone back "home" any more, and her friendship has meant a lot to me.

I would go ahead and call, what have you got to lose. If you are uncomfortable with him knowing where you live (address or phone number) then maybe you could start out talking through email. Maybe he has been carrying around some guilt over a situation that to you meant nothing, but to him is monumental. If you have no serious reason not to call him (you're scared of him, you hate him, it may cause marital problems) then I would give him the benefit of the doubt and call. You could always block your phone number, or use a calling card so that he can not call you back, if you decide that talking to him is not something you want to do again.

 

[JohnTBap]

I did this. I looked up my first love on the high school website thingy and sent him an email apologizing. I did some really crappy things and they had bothered me for a long time. I didn't ask him to call, I just did it in the email. I can't tell you how good it felt when I got a return email telling me that all was forgiven and wishing me a nice life. It provided a nice sense of closure to an otherwise hurtful situation. Best of luck to you.

 

[JohnTBap]

BTW the events happened over 15 years ago.

 

[GeorgeG]

I suppose I would like to talk to old girlfriends (I'm talking many years ago) just to see how they are, but I wouldn't expect (or want) anything more than a friendly "how are you?"

It would all depend on how you parted company back when and what the real motives are now.

 

[cgcw]

My Mom was engaged to another man before she married my Dad. Shortly after my Dad passed away, my Mom commented how her life changed so quickly and began talking about this man "Al". She knew he lived someplace in TN and was just curious as to what ever happened with his life. We ended up calling information and getting his phone number. Well, she called him. Al's wife was on the other phone line in his home (can't imagine why ) and they had a long chat. I think on my Mom's part, it was more curiousity than anything else. There was no intention of harm -- just something she needed to do for herself - 36 years after she was married to my Dad.

By the way, she said after the call, she made the right decision marrying my Dad.

I think I would talk just out of curiousity too.

 

[Minnie824]

Are you married? For me personally, I think I'd discuss with my husband either way...especially if I planned to call. But, I don't think I'd call. Why don't you email back and say an email apology would work just as well.

 

[Pop Daddy]

he wants sex

 

[Serena]

Curiosity would get the better of me and I would call. It's just a phone conversation after all.

 

[dclwdwlover]

I've been on both sides of the fence.
Personally, after my experiences, I would e-ml back (as you did) with general info (i.e. how you're doing, your occupation, basic generalities) & then, if his apologies aren't something you necessarily need, just politely tell him so or tell him he can send it in an e-ml.
I guess after years of being stalked & violated I'm very, very cautious.
On my side, I only ever wanted to get in touch with old boyfriends when I was unhappy in my life & constantly thinking back to better times. I think that's what the majority of people do. Now that I am very happily married & life is so much better, I never find myself fantasizing of past relationships - even under the guise of 'straigtening things out' - because I used that excuse to myself, too.
The fact that you're even questioning what's appropriate lets me know that you have warranted reservations. Best of luck.

 

[kinlaw6450]

I called. Curiousity was killing me. The apology was for leaving without saying anything and never calling again the last time we saw each other. Ok, I had totally not thought anything of this and was really surprised. LOL Yes I did laugh.

He says he is doing very well.

DH had no problem with it and we had a really nice chat.

Guess people do grow up finally!

 

[jamsmom]

My head says don't call. But, I would get curious and call. You call blcok caller-ID when you make the call so there is no phone number if you are concerned.

 

[kiddo]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
he wants sex

LOL.... i thought the same thing...

call him... it would kill me not to... but do what your heart is comfortable with.... good luck and keep us posted... you know how we just love to hear a juicy tidbit of info...

 

[damo]

Ya, I think I would have called too. You would have always wondered what he had to say. It is nice to bring back those memories. Was he as you expected?

 

[Michelle]

Glad you called, kinlaw, I would have too, without hesitation.

Nice that everything worked out!

 

[kinlaw6450]

damo, he sounded exactly like he used too. I recognized his voice right away.

He was extremely friendly and very worried that he would cause a problem with DH by contacting me (he didnt know I was married until the phone call). Which he didn't cause like I said DH was already OK with it.

I am still very glad I called!

 

[Gette88]

Heck no. I never would have called. I'd be suspicious like Pop Daddy thinking he wanted more then to just talk. I'd also feel invaded by the unwelcomed e-mail. An old girl friend I wouldn't mind but not an old boyfriend.