Would you be upset if

[Mellie2162]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one? Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift? Do you care about gifts at all?

 

[MoniqueU]

I buy and wrap my own gift. Do I wish my husband got me something from him and the kids, yes and no. He has done it in the past and it has been hit or miss. One year I got diamond earings that were over a carat each. LOVED those. One year he got me a bunch of outfits that looked great on me, loved that too.

But there have been other times like when he got me a giant surround sound system, the furthest thing from list. I hate surroud sound. One other time he bought me pjs from Kmart. And I guess I am a snob but nothing would be better then that. They were cheap and itchy, I never wore them.

He is pressed for time and it just works better overall for me to get my own present. I don't expect anything from my kids via my husband. He really works alot of hours and at odd times so the malls are long closed by the time he gets off work at 10.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Gift giving should be a pleasure, a true gift comes from the heart and if my SO is distressed about the thought of 'having' to get me a gift I would be upset, yup.

 

[Angelhalo]

I guess it depends. If we decided to have a wonderful gift-free Christmas then thats fine. But, if we had decided to do gifts as usual and I put a lot of effort into getting him things I know he really wants and will love, and he couldn't be "bothered" to get me anything, then yes, I would be upset.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one? Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift? Do you care about gifts at all?

I would be upset if my husband did not buy me a gift although he would not be upset if I did not buy him one. We do not take our kids out to "buy" presents for each other. They make gifts for us at school - I don't need some small gift purchased by my husband for my children to give to me so no that one would not upset me at all.

 

[Becky2005]

Nope. I don't care about the gifts. However, I don't think I'm typical. I actually like practical gifts too. One year I got a 4-slice toaster as a gift and I was happy.

Last year I think it was a griddle (I had been wanting one for years!), so I was thrilled.

Other years, I don't think I've gotten anything but couldn't tell you as I don't remember.

According to the TV commercials, I'm so not normal as my DH should have been in the doghouse a long time ago for such things.

I really don't care if I get gifts or not. My DH has never taken my kids out to get me Christmas presents (or even Mother's Day/birthday gifts either). It just never bothers me.

If I *really* want something I make it pretty obvious. One year I wanted a specific ring. I e-mailed him a picture of it that was on the website and told him "Here, get me this" -- so he did. It was in May. It was my Mother's Day, Birthday, Anniversary (these are all in May), Christmas combination gift. He did try to use it for a 2nd year and told him that didn't count.

I have no clue if he's getting me anything this year or not. I didn't ask for anything nor do I really care if he does or not. A chocolate santa would be nice but if I do, I do. If I don't, no big deal. He asked for some more work shirts & socks. So, that's his gift. I did buy him some of his favorite candy for his stocking.

I know the older kids have gifts for me because they made them in church. My DD already gave me mine as it's a bracelet she made. DS-11 hid his because I had to make sure he got it as I didn't see it & the teacher didn't see it when cleaning up so she asked me if he had gotten it & I didn't know.
DS-8 made something in school (and luckily already brought it home as he was out sick Wed/Thurs & they had a snow day Friday and are now on break).

 

[geffric]

DH never buys me a gift.. he just doesn't..not for my birthday, not for anniversary, no for Hanukkah.. nothing.. ever... so every year I just buy a gift from him to give to me.. as for the kids.. When they were little, I would take them out to buy a gift for him and for me.. although I got the homemade ones from school that I just loved..

does it make me sad.. yes it did at first but then I put it into perspective.. and go one.. Dh does so many things for me during the year that I am truely blessed and if he doesn't buy a gift for special occasions I am okay with it..

 

[Handbag Lady]

I care about gifts but only to the extent that we are fair.

One year he spent over $1000 on me and I spent like $250. I felt awful and then he felt bad for making me feel awful. Then we laughed at each other and made a plan.


We just sort of hint at each other the price range and if there is anything THING we want or need or are dying for...then we go out and buy stuff and surprise each other. One year the limit was $100 and we had to get creative and yes, that was fun. For one anniversary, we just weren't feeling gifty and agreed to buy each other just a card.

This year, he knows his big gift and I am clueless what he got me but at least they cost the same!

We don't have kids or we'd spend all our money on them and not us.

 

[TaraPA]

It truly doesn't bother me at all. For me Christmas is a time to give to friends & family & make them happy. I don't expect anything in return, and really don't want or need anything anyway.

Did it bother me when we were 1st married? Yes. I was young & thought he should be wonderful & romantic & lavish me with gifts. ROFLLMAO. That ended when he got me a fire extinguisher the 1st year we were married.

 

[lillygator]

nope not at all....
we spend our money on trips!

 

[NMAmy]

Yes, it would upset me unless money was an issue and we'd decided not to do gifts. Gift giving occasions are important to me and he knows that. He's not great at buying gifts so I give him a list with suggestions and dd helps him. If he knew it was important to me and acted put out about doing it, yeah, we'd have an issue. I do lots of things that are important to him but not to me and I expect the same respect from him.

Oh, and yes, he's always taken dd with him to get me a gift from her. In fact, she's 18 this year and has a job so he was a little disappointed when she went out and did all her shopping on her own. I think he was looking forward to their annual jaunt to the mall.

 

[Disney Doll]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one? Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift? Do you care about gifts at all?

Someone like that would not be my SO, so I have no point of reference here.

Perhaps I should elaborate. If we had made a mutual decision not to buy each other gifts, then it would not upset me. We have, in years past, decided to "go easy" on each other for Christmas because

1. We have enough "stuff"
2. We usually go to WDW right after New Year's for the Marathon Weekend, so we have a pretty big
trip that comes right on the heels of Christmas

That being said, if my DH were "distressed" at the thought of having to "be bothered" to buy me a gift, THAT I would have a problem with. In other words, it's an annoyance for him to have to go to the trouble of buying me anything? That I would be annoyed at, and that is the type of person I would NOT have as my SO.

 

[Mr Man]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one? Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift? Do you care about gifts at all?

No. DW and I generally agree that Christmas is for our children and various nieces and nephews. We don't get gifts for siblings, friends or parents. We do inflict the family Christmas picture card on all of 'em though!

We simply agree a budget for our gifts and then sneak off and buy what we respectively want with little fanfare.

However, I do have the boys make their mother Christmas cards (uh, the 2 yr old's work is a little "avant-garde" but it is the sentiment that counts).

Merry Christmas

 

[amyhughes]

I would be upset if he didn't show a want to give me at least a little something, yes. I don't want a "present", but I guess in this case it is the thought that counts. If I don't merit a stressful trip to the mall, what else don't I merit, KWIM?

He could also be stressed at buying one, which my DH gets like. He just came in from Dillards where apparently the sales lady helped him pick out my present. Some guys are great at gift giving others freak out about it, hence why most of the present buying falls to our shoulders.

 

[Mellie2162]

Ok was starting to think I was weird. Mine doesnt buy me one either unless I specifically say this is what I want go get it. My kids seem upset that he's not bothering to get me anything so that got me thinking, are we the only couple like this. My DS just learned this year that we are Santa and so he finally figured out why my stocking is never ever filled. I used to make things up like I told Santa im on a diet or something. So this year he's making a big deal that he wants dad to take him to get stocking stuffers for me. I told him that I was tickled by the thought but I really didnt need my stocking stuffed and his wanting to was better than anything he could put inside. So they are a little miffed that DH doesnt feel like getting me something and I have told them that if he doesnt want to get me something thats fine, I really dont want anything that he is forced to buy.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What is the origin of the distress?

Is money tight? Are you not getting along? Is this the way your SO is? So it depends....

DH just gave me a print out of what he wants..a battery charger.
I told him what I wanted, "The Price is Right" for the Wii.

Works for us.

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

Count me in the "it wouldn't bother me" category. I much prefer the times when DH brings me jelly bellies when I am blue, or chocolate when I am sick than the times he is "supposed" to get me a gift. I'm not very sentimental though, and this year I managed to forget our anniversary, my bday and DH's bday. I almost always forget one, but this year was a particularly stellar year for me.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift

It would depend why. Finances/illnesses/not celebrating the same holiday for religious or other legit reasons are different from just not caring.

AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one?

I'd be concerned, not upset. Why would they be distressed?

My BF indicated earlier this month that he would not be able to buy me anything costly and he told me it was upsetting him a bit. We had a long open talk. I didn't want to see him stressed over such things, esp since I knew it was just about money. So we had a chat about how it didn't matter to me if he couldn't get much, but how I planned to get him a few things regardless AND I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be made uncomfortable by my spoiling him. We reached a comfortable middle ground.

Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift?

I don't have kids and neither does my BF, but my thought on this is unless you are married/living with that SO (OR they are also the SO's kids), he or she is not obligated to do this.

Do you care about gifts at all?

Not really.

 

[missj1975]

Your significant other didnt buy you a Christmas gift AND if they were distressed at the thoughts of having to be bothered to buy you one? Would you be upset if your SO did not bother to take your kids out to let them get you a gift? Do you care about gifts at all?

Yes I would be upset if my SO did not get me a gift. Yes, gifts are important to me and he knows that. My SO other is a wonderful gift giver so we have no problems in that boat.

Why does your SO not get you gifts? If it is because he just can't be bothered with it, then yes I would be upset. If my SO knew that his lack of gift giving upset me and he did nothing to correct the issue, then yes I would be very upset. How hard is it to stop by the pharmacy and pick up a card and box of chocolates?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't care about getting any gifts. I would be fine with no gifts. However, if the reason I didn't get a gift was because he found it too stressful to be bothered getting anything for me then I would be very hurt. It is not the gift. It is the thought. If he didn't think I was worth his time to do something nice for me then I really would be heartbroken. He wouldn't have to buy me a thing. A nice letter would go a long way. I don't know if you consider that a gift but I would. So yeah, I'd be fine without a gift if we decided that we were not exchanging but something thoughtful would be better.