Would you be upset by this...(update on page 6)

[mom2boys77]

I agree completely. People make so much out of nothing these days.

Honestly...I feel sad for kids nowadays. They can't do ANYTHING that adults don't blow out of proportion anymore. For the love...they are 5 and although WE as adults attach some sort of "sexually driven" agenda behind this little girl's actions I would put my money on the fact that they are being INNOCENT 5 year olds!
And ya know what, kids explore things (be it sexually, fundamentally, etc.), they do things that we may AS ADULTS come across as wrong but her intent I'm sure was NOT to do something "morally wrong".
Kids can't play tag at school, they can't play bombardi, they can't kiss behind the mer ry go round because adults all scream "my snowflake will be TRAUMATIZED over this" quickly followed by a lawsuit or charges being filed. I think traumatized is the most overused word in relation to kids anymore. Can't we just use the words upset, sad, etc...no, everything has to be BLOWN UP into a much bigger issue than it ever was to begin with. And 9 times out of 10 it's the PARENTS that make it worse on the kid by MAKING it a huge deal when if you'd discuss that what she did was maybe embarrassing, it' surely shouldn't be referenced as a life altering event.

For crying out loud...

 

[DaParkers]

I agree completely. People make so much out of nothing these days.

A 5 year old girl performed oral sex on a classmate in school. I know that this is an isolated event, but you can't say that all 5 year olds are just being kids. Sometimes they are mimicking things they see.

 

[wdwfan16]

Since he was sitting on the toilet, is 5 and a fake camera was used I would be laughing too.

 

[threecrazykids]

A 5 year old girl performed oral sex on a classmate in school. I know that this is an isolated event, but you can't say that all 5 year olds are just being kids. Sometimes they are mimicking things they see.

I know what you're saying, horrible things like this DO happen.

But I truly choose to believe in the innocence of our children. I guess I'm just not the type of person to even associate this type of a behavior with a situation like this. It's possibly this kind of thinking that makes situations blown WAY out of proportion as to what it really is. I know, better safe than sorry, but I guess I don't believe that 99.99999% of our children are being molested, have sexually driven agendas, or are demented because of something they've seen on TV or experienced.

I protect my kids too, but if something like this happened I surely wouldn't instantly jump to the conclusion that because she "pretend took a pic" that this little girl has seen someone taking pictures of a child's private parts or something worse.

Again...I guess maybe I'm ignorant because I continue to have faith in a child's innocence in the MAJORITY of their behaviors. Just because adults know about cases here and there of these things happening doesn't mean it's our job to panic first and get facts later.

 

[*BTMRR*]

We were in Toys R Us yesterday and saw a Spiderman camera that I thought was just a toy but it was actually a real, working camera.
I'd want to be absolutely sure the camera wasn't real (and that if it turns out to be real, that the pictures are deleted). I'd want to know the girl and her parents had gotten a talking-to.
But I'd get a good chuckle out of this, too.

 

[JessicaR]

Honestly...I feel sad for kids nowadays. They can't do ANYTHING that adults don't blow out of proportion anymore. For the love...they are 5 and although WE as adults attach some sort of "sexually driven" agenda behind this little girl's actions I would put my money on the fact that they are being INNOCENT 5 year olds!
And ya know what, kids explore things (be it sexually, fundamentally, etc.), they do things that we may AS ADULTS come across as wrong but her intent I'm sure was NOT to do something "morally wrong".
Kids can't play tag at school, they can't play bombardi, they can't kiss behind the merry go round because adults all scream "my snowflake will be TRAUMATIZED over this" quickly followed by a lawsuit or charges being filed. I think traumatized is the most overused word in relation to kids anymore. Can't we just use the words upset, sad, etc...no, everything has to be BLOWN UP into a much bigger issue than it ever was to begin with. And 9 times out of 10 it's the PARENTS that make it worse on the kid by MAKING it a huge deal when if you'd discuss that what she did was maybe embarrassing, it' surely shouldn't be referenced as a life altering event.
For crying out loud...

I bet its 10 times out of 10. Kids at that age responses are largely reflections of their parents. I obviously agree with everything you said.

 

[JessicaR]

Thanks for all the replies. Looks like everyone is as split on this as we are. My husband is very modest (never, EVER would be seen walking around in his birthday suit)...I'm not. My kids seem to have picked up my cues and don't have a heck of a lot of modesty. My husband said he would have been humiliated. My son has been seen naked lots of times (medical stuff) and it didn't phase him until we talked about it. Then he said he was "shy" about the conversation.

I'll have to post tonight after I actually talk to the school.

That's so true. I bet it plays a huge part. I'm not modest and dont get embarrassed. My husband and my kids are the same way. Keep us posted!

 

[lukenick1]

I need to take back what I said...... my husband did NOT think it was funny, he was furious and thought that she should be punished for it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

If a little boy did this to either of my daughters in Kindergarten, I would have been very upset. I don't find that funny in the least.

I don't see the humor in it either.

In all reality of the situation, I myself would have also thought it was pretty funny(I'm a women by the way), and I can assure you my honey would have done nothing but giggle at the incident. Having said that though, some parents out there, are very inappropriate, and I would have to admit that it does bother me and makes me wonder, what would go through a little girl's head, or how this idea got in her head in the first place-for her to take the picture of a little boy in a bathroom.

Maybe there was nothing malicious intended and it was just a little kid incident, but it could also be a child seeing and experiencing things at home that should not be, and taking that into the school.

Kids tend to do what mommy and daddy do. Food for thought.

It would bother me and I would wonder the same thing.

I think that if the tides were turned a little boy would have had a serious consequence. She should have a consequence for her actions. My husband would have thought that was hilarious. I, on the other hand, would have been concerned how my son felt. Maybe he was embarrassed and humiliated???


When my oldest ds was in 1st grade, some kids were making fun of him going #2. Since that day (2 years later) he will not go #2 at school, forcing him to hold it and be uncomfortable the whole day. That kind of action can cause anxieties in kids that young. I think bathrooms should be supervised (that is of course if the bathroom is a boys or girls bathroom with multi stalls. .), some inappropriate things happen in there.

I think so too. A boy would've been treated much differently if he were the one taking pictures.

I wouldn't think it funny if someone (comparison to this case, co-worker) took a picture of me in the restroom. How he felt at the time not knowing it was a fake camera (and I'd want to know it was fake for sure) would bother me. The girl put him in an uncomfortable position. That is not okay in my book.

I don't find that very funny either- if it was a little boy doing it to a girl there would be uproar about the whole thing and he would be suspended from school under the zero tolerance policy-not that I think anyone should be suspended in kindergarten for that but I sure hope they gave the child some type of punishment so she realizes that it is not a joke and it is serious!
Our school has the bathrooms in the classrooms through grade 3 on the first floor, the upstairs has the stalls in the hall bathroom. They have a bathroom next to the cafeteria but there is no lock on the door so if my daughter has to go she will run upstairs to the one with locking stalls rather than use the one with no lock. If someone opens the door while you are in the one with no lock you are exposed to anyone who happens to be out in the hallway and most kids won't use that one!

I'm glad the camera was fake (I'd still check). But it was still very inappropriate, even given the age.

 

[threecrazykids]

I need to take back what I said...... my husband did NOT think it was funny, he was furious and thought that she should be punished for it.

What kind of punishment? Talking to her about how it's inappropriate to walk into a bathroom when others are in there, no taking pictures of others while they are in the bathroom, and then let it go?

Or can we blow it up to press charges against her for sexual harassment, or even better yet possession of child pornography? Maybe she should get into sexual predator counseling?

I surely hope when you say he said he'd be "furious" he understands they are 5 and not teenagers...cuz that is a whole new ballgame.

 

[JessicaR]

Hey- for me it would have been traumatizing. I was a very shy kid and would have been absolutley mortified by it. Just because you wouldn't doesn't change that fact that some kids would be. And yes- there should be a consequence. The kids nowadays get in trouble for talking too loud and are not allowed to play tag on the playground but they can open the door on someone in the bathroom on purpose that take their picture and they should just get a talking to? Um no. Even if it was my own kid I would think they should get punished because they should know better. Oh and I have seen K kids bring real cameras to school in case anyone was wondering.
I don't think the kid should be hung out to dry but she should get in trouble of some sort. That was completely innappropriate and she needs to understand that.

You keep saying consequences and punishments. Like what?

Have you ever had a firm talking to? I have. Of course that can be effective. Why the heck can't this just be a learning experience and an opportunity to teach a child right from wrong. Obviously the girl didn't know better. I'm sure she does now.


So many on this thread talking for these kids with adult conclusions. The 5 year old kids aren't thinking like you are.

 

[lukenick1]

Or can we blow it up to press charges against her for sexual harassment, or even better yet possession of child pornography? Maybe she should get into sexual predator counseling?

.

You have to understand that we are very defensive about this subject because we are a parents of a little boy. You can bet your booty that if it was a boy that did this to a girl it would have been what I quoted above as a punishment 5yr old or not. Let me tell you what happened to our son.
When he was in kindergarten last year, he was watching The Muppets Wizard of Oz movie with his Dad. One of the muppet characters was the tin man and had 2 little circles on his chest. One of the other muppet characters poked the circles on the "tin man" and asked "what are those"?? The muppet tin man answered..."those are my nipples". Innocent right? Its a puppet show for crying out loud. Well the next day, my ds was poking a little girls and boys chest saying "those are your nipples". You would not believe the trouble he got into. We had to come in to have a meeting with the principle, were threatenend sexual harassment law suit, and my son was put on a discipline plan.

 

[ckay87]

Not funny. I agree that if the "photographer" were a boy, nobody here would find it funny.

And she should get in trouble. Nothing serious, maybe miss a recess or something. But now is as good a time as any to learn that we don't interfere with the bathrooming habits of others. If she isn't punished for it now, then when? You don't go telling the girl it's funny today and then suspend her for doing the same thing 5 years from now. It's just not ok. Ever.

 

[HelenePA]

I have 2 boys & 2girls.. that makes me like Switzerland right? I personally think its funny.. my girls are home sick I just asked them if they would be mad and they said no...

 

[robinb]

I don't think what happened to your son was particularly funny. If a little boy took a fake picture of my DD on the toilet when she was in kindergarten I would be upset. I would expect that the other child would have a stern talking to and a reminder about personal boundaries and why what they did was in appropriate. FWIW, none of us in the family are prudes or modest in any way.

You have to understand that we are very defensive about this subject because we are a parents of a little boy. You can bet your booty that if it was a boy that did this to a girl it would have been what I quoted above as a punishment 5yr old or not. Let me tell you what happened to our son.
When he was in kindergarten last year, he was watching The Muppets Wizard of Oz movie with his Dad. One of the muppet characters was the tin man and had 2 little circles on his chest. One of the other muppet characters poked the circles on the "tin man" and asked "what are those"?? The muppet tin man answered..."those are my nipples". Innocent right? Its a puppet show for crying out loud. Well the next day, my ds was poking a little girls and boys chest saying "those are your nipples". You would not believe the trouble he got into. We had to come in to have a meeting with the principle, were threatenend sexual harassment law suit, and my son was put on a discipline plan.

That seems innocent enough on the surface but if your son had poked my DD in the chest pointing out her nipples then YES I would be upset. Should he have been threatened with sexual harassment? No. But the other two punishments seem spot on to me. Kindergarten is not too young to learn about private areas on your own body and other people's bodies and how girls have private areas that boys do not.

 

[threecrazykids]

You have to understand that we are very defensive about this subject because we are a parents of a little boy. You can bet your booty that if it was a boy that did this to a girl it would have been what I quoted above as a punishment 5yr old or not. Let me tell you what happened to our son.
When he was in kindergarten last year, he was watching The Muppets Wizard of Oz movie with his Dad. One of the muppet characters was the tin man and had 2 little circles on his chest. One of the other muppet characters poked the circles on the "tin man" and asked "what are those"?? The muppet tin man answered..."those are my nipples". Innocent right? Its a puppet show for crying out loud. Well the next day, my ds was poking a little girls and boys chest saying "those are your nipples". You would not believe the trouble he got into. We had to come in to have a meeting with the principle, were threatenend sexual harassment law suit, and my son was put on a discipline plan.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I understand where you're coming from and if this happened to me I might feel differently. But don't you believe in your heart that regardless of how the ADULTS handled it (threatened sexual harassment lawsuit) was again blown out of proportion when your son's INNOCENT connotation was associated with some sort of sexual agenda?
This is ( I guess) what I'm saying...the adults in the situation jumped all over what he COULD have meant by it instead of choosing to believe it was innocent. They'd rather choose to believe "Houston we have a problem" than to just let kids be kids and discuss with them what is and is NOT appropriate and maybe keep an eye out in the future.

I think SOME adults choose to assume the worst and want to find issues about sexuality in kids behaviors. And yes, there ARE instances where kids may be being molested or have seen things that are NOT appropriate. But not all things kids say about the human body mean that they are some sort of predator. I mean really, women have nipples, men have *****es, etc and pointing that out shouldn't be shameful for a child to wonder or ask about.
If you make children feel ashamed about their bodies or "oh my God don't even THINK about ASKING questions about a person of the opposite sex you PERVERT" makes children even more confused. Keep it at their level, keep it educational, and keep an eye out for truly inappropriate activities.

Again, I'm sorry for what happened. What a sad situation for your son. Poor kiddo.

I do think they need to talk to her. It's a simple conversation of "honey, we don't take pictures (or pretend to) of people when they are on the potty." "You'd be embarrassed, wouldn't you?" "Next time you need to knock on the door and if someone is in there it is NOT ok to go in there." And then be done.

 

[threecrazykids]

Not funny. I agree that if the "photographer" were a boy, nobody here would find it funny.

And she should get in trouble. Nothing serious, maybe miss a recess or something. But now is as good a time as any to learn that we don't interfere with the bathrooming habits of others. If she isn't punished for it now, then when? You don't go telling the girl it's funny today and then suspend her for doing the same thing 5 years from now. It's just not ok. Ever.

May I ask why a boy taking a picture of a girl is any MORE inappropriate? They are FIVE. At this age do you really believe boys are more sexually driven than girls and that we should all feel differently about what the outcome should be if the tables were turned? I just don't get why the sex of the picture taker in an issue...

 

[lukenick1]

It is sad how boys are discriminated and not treated equally as girls in the schools as far as their punishments.

Boys get a bad wrap.

 

[TwinsinCA]

Honestly...I feel sad for kids nowadays. They can't do ANYTHING that adults don't blow out of proportion anymore. For the love...they are 5 and although WE as adults attach some sort of "sexually driven" agenda behind this little girl's actions I would put my money on the fact that they are being INNOCENT 5 year olds!

I can't speak for everyone on this thread who is bothered by what happened, but I am not upset because I think the girl had any sort of agenda like you are thinking.

It is a privacy and respect issue. If it was a boy taking a picture of another boy, I'd feel the same way. People, even children, deserve privacy while they are in the bathroom. That is what needs to be impressed upon this little girl.

I know often times schools cannot divulge punishments for privacy reasons. But I will be really curious to find out how the school handles this.

 

[Sparx]

I don't find it particularly funny, many children would find it humiliating. At that age the girl should know better.
Is your ds very upset by this? I would take a cue from him & respond accordingly.
The girl needs a talking to about boundaries & respect for privacy.

I agree with this. It seems like the OP's child in particular wasn't bothered, but I know I would have been! I don't think I would want the girl suspended, but definitely reprimanded.