Would you be offended?

[simba928]

A couple friends of mine and I have been talking about what we're going to do for our senior trip next year. We're all juniors in high school. One friend has a condo/townhouse thing in Florida, so a few of them want to do a road trip and spend 2 weeks in the condo. I say good for them, but that doesn't interest me. I would get bored spending 2 weeks on a beach, which is what they want to do. So another friend of mine and I decided that we were going to do something else and started throwing a few ideas around. A cruise came up (not that we are actually definitly going to do that, it was just one of the ideas). I told one of my friends that that was what we were thinking about doing. She said "A vacation is meant to relax, you're not supposed to do anything on a vacation." I said "Well, a vacation is different things to everybody. I personally would get stressed out if I didn't have anything to do all day and just sit on the beach. My whole families like that, which is why we love Disney." She said "Besides, you really can't afford a cruise. You make like $3 an hour." (Yes, those were her exact words.) I was like . Honestly, she makes $.02 more than me and that is after 2 raises at her job and I'm still at my starting wage at mine. So I asked her how she knows if I can afford it or not. Does she know everything about my personal finances? She just gave me this look and said "I know you can't afford it. Where are you going to get the money from? Your parents aren't going to give it to you." I just looked at her and shook my head and walked away.

Later on in the day, I was talking to the friend that has the condo about it and she said "She's right, where are you going to get the money from? Do you know how expensive a cruise is?" (I've been on 3 cruises and travel to Florida at least twice a year as well as do a third trip somewhere else and she knows it. I also just check out how much it would cost for different trips for fun occasionally, so I know full well how much vacations cost.) I said yes and she said "Ok, tell me how much." I said "I can't tell you how much it would cost. There are too many factors that go into it. You know, where you go, how long, which cabin." She said "Besides, your parents won't even let you go to college in Florida, do you really think they'd let you go on a cruise?" A 5-day cruise with friends is a lot different than 4 years in college 1000 miles away from anybody you know IMHO.

So would you be offended by the "You can't afford it" comments? Its one thing to say "Cruises are expensive", but a totally different thing to say "You can't afford it". But am I overreacting or would you feel the same way?

 

[Hedy]

I would be royally, extremely perturbed.

 

[PghLybrt]

In the grand scheme of things, eh who cares. You know what you know and if she wants to be ignorant that’s her problem. It might just be that there is no way she can afford it and she is to embarrassed to say so. Does it make it right, no but sometimes you just got to move on. I am sorry that someone would treat you like that

My concern with the whole cruise thing, the cruise line might not let anyone not accompanied by someone over the age of 21 go. You might want to look into that before you get to involved in it. We had a similar situation going to Florida when I was 22, I had to drive because I could not find a car rental place that would rent to anybody under 25 or 26.…… So flying down was out!


I am very envious of you though! To get to go on a trip my senior year would have been fantastic!!

 

[shirleyb]

As a high school student, probably not. As an adult, probably.

 

[doxdogy]

Just let it roll off your back. I am like you, I would be bored senseless spending two weeks at the beach. If you don't go with a fancy cabin, a five day cruise really isn't that expensive.

 

[Daxx]

I'd be ticked that my friends think they know my financial situation so well. How would they know that you don't have $$$ socked away in an account?

Now, I am at least 2 decades older than you are and my Dad still rags on me about "where is all this money coming from?". I'm married and DH and I make decent money and we have saved and invested wisely. Any time we go on a vaca. or mention something new we bought, he starts in on "how much money we spend". Our fridge just died and we were talking about the new one we bought and my Dad said "I dont know where you get all this money from". Then, DS was talking about his new lacrosse equipment and what we bought. Of course, dear old dad pipes up again. I said "First off, a fridge is a necessity, not a luxury. Second, DS needs equipment for lacrosse -- you need it to play the game with and finally, you have NO idea how much we earn, have saved and invested so put a lid on it!" It peeves me b/c I am an adult!!!!

Next time your friends taunt you about your salary, tell them they have no idea how much is in your bank account, so they should put a lid on it.

 

[simba928]

I think I would be able to let it go more easily if it was just a single comment. You know, if it just slipped and she wasn't thinking. But this is not the first time that she has brought up how much I get paid. She is constantly comparing how much we get paid (as I said, she makes $.02 more than I do and that is after 2 raises while I haven't gotten any yet and working I believe 6 months longer than I have). She also enjoys commenting on the fact that I don't drive yet and I only work 1 day a week whereas she works 3 days. She doesn't quite get that you can't compare our situations as they are totally different. It is physically impossible for me to work more than 1 day a week unless I only want a 2 hour shift, which is kind of pointless. With her, she can drive to work (not only does she have her license, but she has a car, while even if I did have my license, I don't have a car) and her job is in a more convenient location than mine is.

I thought about it last night and realized that she just has a need to feel superior to me. Thats fine. I'm not going to let that affect me. But you can bet that the next time she brings it up I will tell her that I do not ever want to discuss money or jobs ever again with her, especially if she is just bringing it up to put me down.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

eh no biggie. I wouldn't be offended, esp if i knew i really could afford it have fun!!!

for the record, my parents would have never ever let me go on a cruise with friends, but they did let me move to Fl for college! hahaha! that's wierd!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Is this friend prone to making these kind of comments? If so, I'd reconsider any vacation arrangements with her. Doesn't sound like fun.

 

[horseshowmom]

I think I would be able to let it go more easily if it was just a single comment. You know, if it just slipped and she wasn't thinking. But this is not the first time that she has brought up how much I get paid. She is constantly comparing how much we get paid (as I said, she makes $.02 more than I do and that is after 2 raises while I haven't gotten any yet and working I believe 6 months longer than I have). She also enjoys commenting on the fact that I don't drive yet and I only work 1 day a week whereas she works 3 days. She doesn't quite get that you can't compare our situations as they are totally different. It is physically impossible for me to work more than 1 day a week unless I only want a 2 hour shift, which is kind of pointless. With her, she can drive to work (not only does she have her license, but she has a car, while even if I did have my license, I don't have a car) and her job is in a more convenient location than mine is.

I thought about it last night and realized that she just has a need to feel superior to me. Thats fine. I'm not going to let that affect me. But you can bet that the next time she brings it up I will tell her that I do not ever want to discuss money or jobs ever again with her, especially if she is just bringing it up to put me down.

I think you hit the nail on the head and also found the best way to deal with it (but I'd leave off the part about her putting you down).

 

[wendy46001]

just let it go..they are probably upset that you think their trip is boring

BTW you would need someone over 21 or over 25 to go with you all ...depending on cruise line and your ages...

 

[budbeerlady]

I wouldnt let it get to you too much, some people are just irritating that way.

I would like to throw in as someone who did sit on the beach (during the day after we woke up around noon!) for a quiet vacation,who is now a parent of a girl. I would let her go to disney for a week, but she isnt going to the "beach!" I have benn there and done that, aint going to let her do it. I think other options might be a better sell to the parents!

 

[simba928]

I think you hit the nail on the head and also found the best way to deal with it (but I'd leave off the part about her putting you down).

HAHA. Those weren't quite the words I was planning on using. LOL. And we are just talking about ideas now. The beach plan was to go to the beach during the day and then go clubbing every night for 2 weeks. Not my idea of fun. I don't even think you can go to "real" clubs (not the under 21 ones) unless your 21 and even at that, I have no interest in that stuff.

 

[horseshowmom]

I have a niece who went to the beach with 3 of her friends for their senior trip. They only stayed 4 nights, I believe. They were still speaking when they got back, but I don't think they had as good of a time as they were expecting (not sure why and didn't ask any questions ).

 

[luvindisneyworld]

This is what I was fixing to say. you have to have a Chaperone that is at least 25 with you,I think that is how it is with Carnival.This is how I went on my first cruise.It was paid for by my Cousin they wanted me to go with their daughter and 2 of her friends that were graduating.

just let it go..they are probably upset that you think their trip is boring

BTW you would need someone over 21 or over 25 to go with you all ...depending on cruise line and your ages...

 

[disykat]

As an adult my finances are no ones business and it's really no one's place to comment on them unless I ask advice.

However, when I was still in high school I would assume that everyone was pretty much in the same boat financially and unless they had money from there parents would not be able to afford a cruise. I doubt it was personal - they couldn't afford it themselves and assumed you wouldn't be able to either.