Would you be offended....

[Chicago526]

Would you be offended if you were told what dish to bring to a party?
I always make homemade macaroni and cheese for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its been a long tradition in my family. Since, we've been married; I've taken this dish to everyone of his holiday get togethers also. When we first started dating I made a broccoli casserole (yuck), which I hate to make and eat. This was about 6 years ago.

Ok, so I was planning on making mac and cheese to take to my moms and to his on Christmas. Well, hubbys sister calls 'him' yesterday and tells him to bring broccoli casserole. I am a little offended, I can understand if it was to bring a 'veggie' casserole, but not to tell me what exactly to make. I know that she doesn't like my mac and cheese, neither do her kids. They have the mac and cheese out of a box. That is just kinda gross for a nice holiday dinner; a regular meal at home is another story. I have had loads of compliments on my mac and cheese from most of his other relatives.

Am I being silly? Should I make the broccoli casserole? I just don't feel that I should make something that I don't like to make or eat. I am vegetarian, and what I make will more than likely be the only thing I will be able to eat.

Not a flame, slam, attack, etc. at all, but I personally wouldn't bring a dish that THAT many people didn't like (for whatever reason they don't like it). In this situation, I don't think it's rude. However, it would have been much better to say "oh, I know you like to bring your Mac and Chesse dish, but we'd really appreciate it if you could bring another side dish this year" or something like that, rather than just saying "Make X dish, that's an order!" They don't have to have the Mac and Cheese they don't like, but you have the freedom to figure out something else to make.

 

[tinkerrn]

My first thought, which echoes those of other posters, is that she called your husband. If he wants to make a brocolli casserole, so be it. You go ahead and made your world-famous (or at least DIS-famous) mac and cheese.

Btw, I just don't get a family that doesn't like homemade mac and cheese and prefers broccoli!

Hubby doesn't want to 'rock the boat' if ya know what I mean. he KNOWS how I feel about broccoli casserole. I just don't like the velvetta, broccoli, ritz cracker combo. No offense to those that do. I like velvetta, just not with broccoli.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not a flame, slam, attack, etc. at all, but I personally wouldn't bring a dish that THAT many people didn't like (for whatever reason they don't like it). In this situation, I don't think it's rude. However, it would have been much better to say "oh, I know you like to bring your Mac and Chesse dish, but we'd really appreciate it if you could bring another side dish this year" or something like that, rather than just saying "Make X dish, that's an order!" They don't have to have the Mac and Cheese they don't like, but you have the freedom to figure out something else to make.

With all due respect--we don't know the family size or the guest roster....

But in my household---that would be 3 out of 12 people---I could deal with that ratio and stick with a recipe that I and 9 other people enjoyed.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Hubby doesn't want to 'rock the boat' if ya know what I mean. he KNOWS how I feel about broccoli casserole. I just don't like the velvetta, broccoli, ritz cracker combo. No offense to those that do. I like velvetta, just not with broccoli.

Honestly--if that is what they consider broccoli casserole..they may not like what you came up with either. Some palates prefer the quick and easy throw a bunch of stuff together so it "looks" homemade but kind of isn't and will never be pleased with made from scratch stuff.

My hubby's family is this way. I have to suck it up every year I go there for a major meal. I've learned if I don't like what is prepared--then I bring something myself.


If hubby doesn't rock the boat--he can make it. My hubby's family likes sweet potato casserole...aka heart attack in a dish. If they requested us to make it--then that would be hubby taking up the volunteer spot. I don't eat it, so I won't make it or really help make it--but I do offer to assist in other areas of the menu that do not gross me out.

 

[mickeyfan2]

When I am a guest in somebodies home I ask what can I bring. Then I bring it. I would not bring something that the host's family did not like unless asked. I have been know to bring an additional item that would be eaten earlier to tide the others over.

Our friends want us to being DH's deviled eggs. They are excellent but not hard to make or costly. So we will also be bringing a shrimp tree too. They love shrimp and will not be serving it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

To reiterate--it seems that the host familiy does enjoy the dish (or at least I got that from the OP).

SIL is organizing the menu (But not hosting)---she and her kids don't like the dish...so she requested someone to make a particular dish that they don't care to eat.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Our friends want us to being DH's deviled eggs. They are excellent but not hard to make or costly. So we will also be bringing a shrimp tree too. They love shrimp and will not be serving it.

What is a shrimp tree?

 

[mickeyboat]

When I am a guest in somebodies home I ask what can I bring. Then I bring it. I would not bring something that the host's family did not like unless asked. I have been know to bring an additional item that would be eaten earlier to tide the others over.

Our friends want us to being DH's deviled eggs. They are excellent but not hard to make or costly. So we will also be bringing a shrimp tree too. They love shrimp and will not be serving it.

I do that sometimes, too. But I worry more and more about allergies. I made crab dip one time to bring to a friend's party. It was a big hit, and I felt great, until someone asked me if there was seafood in the dip. I almost fainted when I heard that one of the guests was severely allergc, and I think I stood by her side the entire evening worrying that her throat was closing up.

Denae

 

[mickeyfan2]

To reiterate--it seems that the host familiy does enjoy the dish (or at least I got that from the OP).

SIL is organizing the menu (But not hosting)---she and her kids don't like the dish...so she requested someone to make a particular dish that they don't care to eat.

I see the person organinzing the menu for the MIL to be the same as a host.

 

[mickeyfan2]

What is a shrimp tree?

It is just cooked shrimp on a syrofoam cone that is wrapped in lettuce. Tooth picks hold it all together. Extra shrimp and the dip are the presents.

 

[TurboKitty]

Let's not forget that the OP is a vegatarain, and most likely will only eat whatever dish she ends up bringing. tinkerrn, are you the only veg in the family?

I don't think your m&c with broccoli you posted was passive agressive. Passive agressive is what I suggested earlier...or bringing your usual m&c along with a box of Kraft shells and cheese.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I do that sometimes, too. But I worry more and more about allergies. I made crab dip one time to bring to a friend's party. It was a big hit, and I felt great, until someone asked me if there was seafood in the dip. I almost fainted when I heard that one of the guests was severely allergc, and I think I stood by her side the entire evening worrying that her throat was closing up.

Denae

I always let everybody know what is in it. We have many allergies in our family. In this case we are good friends with all those invited and none are allergic to shrimp.

 

[LadyBears]

Well she did call your hubby and tell "HIM" to bring it. SO by my thinking (and I hate when ppl tell me what to bring to a potluck-I cant always afford what they want), your hubby should bring it, not you. Hey, if she makes an issue, just say she asked him to bring it. Either that or I would be really rotten, still make my mac and cheese and bring a teenie tiny casserole dish with just broccoli in it. She didnt specify how much. HEHEHEHE!

better yet.... pretend Hubby never gave you the message & just bring the mac & cheese instead of the broccoli casserole

If someone has a special request, I may not mind making something. However if they demand I make & bring something I dispise, there is NO WAY I would do it. "Sorry, I tried, but the smell made me too nauseas, I just couldn't make it without getting sick IN it!"

 

[mickeyboat]

I always let everybody know what is in it. We have many allergies in our family. In this case we are good friends with all those invited and none are allergic to shrimp.

Allergies are something I am not used to having to deal with, and it isn't something I automatically think about in these situations. It really flips me out that something I bring could actually kill someone.

Denae

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just bring your reg. dish. She is not the host.

Call the MIL and ask about it if you want.

 

[XOoOoVEEoOoOX]

I am not trying to be rude or mean, but this really is not a big deal.

if you really think that she is asking for the brocolli casserole b/c she doesntlike your home made Mac then just make a serving of brocolli casserole that is just large enough for her and her children and explain that it is a "special" dish for them. Then make your mac and cheese for everyone else.

If I were to cook something that I KNOW someone doesnt like, I would TRY to make at least a small something that I know they do like,just so they now that I do care.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I see the person organinzing the menu for the MIL to be the same as a host.

Organizing a menu to ones personal likes and dislikes and making someone prepare a dish they despise--does not a good hostess make.

Regardless--I still disagree with her and think shes being a brat.

 

[tiggerlover]

I don't have time to read all the responses so I will just add my two cents. I wouldn't be offended because I have learned some people are just like that. I would just bring both the broccoli casserole and the mac and cheese so everyone could be happy.

 

[Pigeon]

I don't think it's weird to coordinate the menu for a holiday dinner in a general sort of way. Pot lucks are a different story.

OTOH, I have a SIL who is a Martha Stewart wannabe. One year she was hosting the Christmas dinner and called me up with my "assignment." She ordered me to get my hands on a copy of the Silver Palate cookbook and make a triple recipe of a particular type of potato dish.

It was extremely elaborate and called for the par-boiling of endless slices of potato, sauteeing various additives, making a cheese sauce with several different types of hard to find cheese, etc.

The end result tasted very similar to your basic scalloped potatoes, but took ten times longer to make.

 

[Chuck S]

So, you want to bring home made mac & cheese, and were told to bring broccoli casserole. You can show her...add a few pieces of steamed broccoli to your mac & cheese and call it a broccoli casserole