Would you be mad? Cancelling via text message... Vacation plans

[Wishing on a star]

I wouldn't be upset over the cancellation alone.
I wouldn't be upset over the texting, either.

I would have already been thinking about how much I want to invest in that 'friendship', because of how she has handled and reacted to you AFTER these cancellations.
That is the biggest issue that I am seeing.

You were supposed to NOT go on another mostly pre-paid trip.
You were supposed to be 'in tears' over a picture of a dog? (or because you were ditched, AGAIN ?)

Ummmm, okay then.

 

[ashley0139]

I'm still trying to figure out why she thought that you wouldn't go on a trip...that you had already paid for...because HER husband was in a bad mood. Like, what even is that thought process?

 

[antmaril]

I'm still trying to figure out why she thought that you wouldn't go on a trip...that you had already paid for...because HER husband was in a bad mood. Like, what even is that thought process?

I agree. That is a head scratcher.

 

[LovesTimone]

I agree. That is a head scratcher.

OP here,

She thought that because we planned to meet them, that we would not want to go because they were not going... sorta like they were the only reason we were wanting to go... We love NYC and there is just so much to do, and see there... We went anyway, I would not have expected them to cancel if the roles were reversed..

We have started planning out our memorial day weekend... We are meeting some friend for dinner one night at Disney Springs, and DH's brother and wife are coming over to our home for dinner one night... So things are starting to shape up...

 

[Magical2017]

I'd be upset also, OP. I would not go on vacation with them again, but would try to salvage the friendship. I hope you end up having a great Memorial Day weekend.

 

[bianca]

Sorry, but I wouldn't even be trying to salvage a friendship out of this.

 

[HopperFan]

Would I be mad? Only at myself.

I have been down this road, many times, with a family member. It took me decades to finally stop playing their game. I thought we were close, we weren't. She wasn't really my friend. Did we have fun? I thought so, but it never failed if something else was "more fun" or "more convenient for her" or "another friend offered something better" .... then she cancelled. I/we were the backup plans ... if we were the original plans I finally figured it out that we were only the plan if nothing better came along. The longer this went on, the worse it got ... I mean she knew we would let her run over us. In our situation it got very bad when the parents (my in-laws) got older and needed family help. Used took a whole new level. We began holding our ground on not always giving in to "demands" and finally we just stopped making any plans at all. I'm only mad that we didn't put our foot down many years ago.

Based on what you have shared, she clearly thinks you should feel blessed she is in your life .......... I think she's lucky you stuck it out this long. I wouldn't make a fuss over the text, she showed how much she really cares cancelling that way. I would just move on with your life, acknowledge pleasantries, send holiday cards and do not make any more plans.

Enjoy your upcoming plans.

 

[Nancyg56]

Would I be mad? Only at myself.

I have been down this road, many times, with a family member. It took me decades to finally stop playing their game. I thought we were close, we weren't. She wasn't really my friend. Did we have fun? I thought so, but it never failed if something else was "more fun" or "more convenient for her" or "another friend offered something better" .... then she cancelled. I/we were the backup plans ... if we were the original plans I finally figured it out that we were only the plan if nothing better came along. The longer this went on, the worse it got ... I mean she knew we would let her run over us. In our situation it got very bad when the parents (my in-laws) got older and needed family help. Used took a whole new level. We began holding our ground on not always giving in to "demands" and finally we just stopped making any plans at all. I'm only mad that we didn't put our foot down many years ago.

Based on what you have shared, she clearly thinks you should feel blessed she is in your life .......... I think she's lucky you stuck it out this long. I wouldn't make a fuss over the text, she showed how much she really cares cancelling that way. I would just move on with your life, acknowledge pleasantries, send holiday cards and do not make any more plans.

Enjoy your upcoming plans.

Exactly. My DH has a couple of cousins who constantly pulled this, agreeing to come for meals, go someplace with us, etc. Many times the plans stemmed from them. And then Boom. The "I cannot make it" call. It was okay the first few times. Annoying but okay. Then it was annoying bordering on maddening. Then it was not okay at all. The thing is tht those are the peole who tend to manufacture an argument with you becusae they know they have done something wrong, so the relationship goes from shaky to rocky to destroyed. It is simpler to just end it quietly before it gets to that point. I wish we had.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

So OP, have you talked since?