Would you attend? (another bridal shower question)

[vald1977]

Here's the background. A work friend (male) of DH is getting married July 3rd. I know this friend and have seen him occasionally at functions. He and DH don't hang out together much outside of work but once in a while all the guys from work will go out and play pool, play cards, etc.

I have never met the bride to be. I've seen her once from a distance but never even spoken to her. Dh comes home with an invitation to the wedding on Monday. No problem with that.

Yesterday I get an invitation to the bridal shower in the mail for this girl I have never met. I will know nobody there. I told DH no way am I going and that I think it was weird that I received an invitation. I thought you only send bridal shower invitations to close friends and family not everyone invited to the wedding. To me it looks like they are just asking for gifts even if it isn't their intent.

Dh wants me to go. He thinks that it would be rude not to since we are friends with the groom.

So, would you go? Would you send a gift if you didn't attend? Personally, I don't feel obligated to send a gift but if DH insists he can buy it .

 

[pjlla]

I vote for sending a modest give along with your regrets that you are unable to attend....P

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

This has become a pretty annoying trend...inviting all females that are invited to the wedding to the shower also.

No, I wouldn't go...no gift either.

 

[vald1977]

So it is a trend then? I don't attend many weddings and this is a new one to me. I have only attended a few bridal showers and they have been for close friends.

 

[TEENEE]

I wouldn't go. I agree that showers are for close friends and relatives. Sounds like a ploy to get more gifts.

 

[Piglet]

I wouldn't go or get a gift - you don't even know the bride!!!!

Hows this one -- when my BIL was getting married his fiancee's family invited my Mom to her Bridal Shower - she was never invited to the wedding!!! We just try to laugh about it.

Melinda

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by MaryAnnDVC
This has become a pretty annoying trend...inviting all females that are invited to the wedding to the shower also.

No, I wouldn't go...no gift either.

ditto

 

[helenabear]

I wouldn't go either... no gift from me as well.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by MaryAnnDVC
This has become a pretty annoying trend...inviting all females that are invited to the wedding to the shower also.

No, I wouldn't go...no gift either.

Same here. I'd just go to the wedding. And I'd probably give a modest gift at that. It seems like a lot of people now expect huge gifts for the shower and a huge check for the wedding.

Well, I for one can't afford that, and I feel weird giving money as a gift anyway.

 

[vald1977]

Originally posted by Piglet

Hows this one -- when my BIL was getting married his fiancee's family invited my Mom to her Bridal Shower - she was never invited to the wedding!!! We just try to laugh about it.

Melinda

That's horrible!

 

[stinkerbelle]

No offense - but it's like inviting a stranger off the street!

No - I wouldn't go and I would NOT feel obligated to give a gift either.

Do NOT let your DH guilt you into going...does HE even know the bride?

 

[vald1977]

He "saw" her the same time I did. He's hasn't ever spoken to her. The reason I think he's pushing about it is because the other wives of the work buddies might go and he doesn't want us to look like the only ones who refused. I have no problem with him purchasing a small gift if he feels that bad.

 

[DoeWDW]

Val, you haven't even MET this woman! I agree that showers are for close friends & family, not strangers. I wouldn't go & I wouldn't send a gift either.

I'd give only a modest gift at the wedding - DH & this guy aren't exactly best buddies!

 

[Kimberle]

You're in CT, like me.

Well, around here, all the women who are invited to the wedding are invited to the shower. So I do not think it strange that you got invited.

I would not attend. I don't like to go to places where I don't know anyone. I would probably send a gift, especially if my dh was friends with the groom.

It's always better to follow local custom and invite everyone than to risk offending anyone by not inviting them. An invitation can always be "declined", but you cannot invite yourself to something to which you did not receive an invitation......

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by vald1977
The reason I think he's pushing about it is because the other wives of the work buddies might go and he doesn't want us to look like the only ones who refused.

"But everyone else's wives are going." Meanwhile at the other co-workers house....they are saying the same thing as YOU!

 

[CamColt]

I agree its not strange for all the women invited to the wedding to be invited to the shower. Thats the norm here. However, being the chicken I am, if I knew I would know no one, and especially if I didnt even know the bride, I would not go.
If I knew the bride, I would definitely send a gift, however I dont know what Id do, not knowing the bride. Ive never been in that position. Good question.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Kimberle
You're in CT, like me.

Well, around here, all the women who are invited to the wedding are invited to the shower. So I do not think it strange that you got invited.

hmmm...I'm in CT too...got married last year...only close family/friends were invited to my shower. I never knew that to be 'the norm' here in CT.

Not DH's coworkers wives...

 

[vald1977]

"But everyone else's wives are going." Meanwhile at the other co-workers house....they are saying the same thing as YOU!

Exactly!

 

[minniecarousel]

You know - I was gonna say "no way!" (well - I'll still say that) but Kimberle is right - better to invite EVERYONE, than to risk offending anyone. I think it's perfectly acceptable to decline. But remember to RSVP!

 

[zurgswife]

No I wouldn't go....and no gift...